Today in literary history: The birth of  Thomas Jefferson, 3rd President of the United States, and primary author of the Declaration of Independence, who used to have his birthday parties on April 2 because they were stupid and still used the Julian calendar, not the Gregorian calendar that we use and which totally rocks.

We are fortunate, nay, beyond fortunate to have the man himself on the phone, calling in from Branson, Missouri, President Thomas Jefferson.