016: It's Season 2 Time and Dyana Valentine Turns The Tables on Me...GAH!

GAH. Life’s a journey…yeah? Firstly…YEAH, IT’S SEASON 2, BABY!!!!!GOING THERE is an absolute labor of love and I pinch myself daily over the interesting people I meet and the deep conversations we have.A GINORMOUS Thank You for joining along on this ride.Now…onto the episode… WHAT’S IN THIS EPISODE Today, the tables have turned and the interviewer has become the interviewee. My friend and former guest, Dyana, asks me the hard questions that demand hard answers. What I had assumed was going to be a discussion about my childhood turned into something so much more.I’ve never been one for commitment and monogamy and kids and…and…and…yet here I am happily (and monogamously) married with three lovely children.Only…I wasn’t always so happily married to my husband. In fact, 3 years ago I told him I wanted a divorce and even got my own apartment and started furnishing it. I loved him, deeply and tremendously, but I was done being in a relationship that neither of us was choosing to nurture.But now? After 16 years I think we’ve finally figured it out which looks a whole lot like me listening to my heart rather than my ego, both of us putting in the hard emotional labor to better communicate and articulate our needs, and having an ongoing list of things to discuss with our amazing marriage therapist. And oh yeah…a new house…but more on that in the episode.I don’t want to spill everything but this is a really raw + vulnerable conversation about a woman (me) growing up and learning how to set aside her enormous ego, compromise, grow into a nurturing woman, and learn how to be a better person.Listen in as Dyana Valentine (SEASON ONE GUEST) turns the tables on me and asks me the hard questions. Oooh boy…this stuff can be hard, yo! SOME OF MY FAVE MOMENTS IN THIS CONVERSATION INCLUDE: My optimism that maybe we could remarry when we’re 70. Yeah…hubby didn’t go for that idea.How I went from never feeling like anyone had my back to the realization that my husband’s had my back all along…I just wasn’t ready to allow for it. (Side-note: this man is a saint for sticking by my side after all I’ve put him through.)How a home saved our marriage (I’m not being funny…I mean this quite sincerely) and why creaky wood floors help me feel safe and loved.How this same home and my marriage has given me roots…roots I never wanted but help me feel more independent and free…two feelings I never thought I could find within a marriage and a family.The guilt I have that my older kids – my boys – didn’t have a happy and fulfilled mom and that my daughter now mostly does. They were robbed and I feel bad about that.Giving birth to my daughter and asking myself if I was the type of woman I’d want raising her and the answer was no…and that was hard to hear. I mean..SHIT. Now what?Questioning if I can trust my gut when that’s been my stalwart and lifeline all these years…talk about shaking your ego to its core!A HUGE thank you to Dyana for turning the tables on me and hats off to all MY GUESTS that show up and spill the beans on their own personal stories∆ JenSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.