God Doesn’t Watch One Tree Hill

S2:14 - Brooke's Sock Puppet

March 08, 2023 05:00 - 55 minutes - 50.9 MB

We recorded this back in August but I swear we still want Trina McGee from Boy Meets World to come on the pod. We want to hear from you, queen.

S2:13 - Mouth, the Incel

February 06, 2023 05:00 - 1 hour - 76.7 MB

Yeah, it's been about the gestation of a human baby since we released the episode. You can tell this one is current cuz we talk about the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial. I mean, I only have myself to blame. Anyway, stay tuned for the spinoff pod feat. Aud and Annie called Double A Battery.

S2:E12 - Crab Union

July 27, 2022 04:00 - 1 hour - 55.8 MB

Brooke attempts to unionize crabs, Haley conceals her emotional affair, and everyone is pretty much dogshit for no reason. Also, we wish Sam and Ellie a happy weekaversary when we recorded this episode which was several months ago. I suck. I am sorry.

S2:E11 - Product Placement at It's Worst

June 13, 2022 04:00 - 57 minutes - 52.5 MB

It's been a long time, been a long time, been a ba-logna logna logna logna time. Yeah. Long time since we posted an ep. But Annie's in Rome and we have few lined up so no time like now than to post them till she gets back! Enjoy!

S2:E10 - It's Like the Scarlet Letter, But Worse

March 22, 2022 04:01 - 59 minutes - 54.3 MB

I'd love to tell you I didn't post this episode out of respect for Meatloaf cuz of our jokes in the wake of his death. But nah we didn't care that much I just got lazy. We literally talk about the Bengals ABOUT to be playing for the AFC championship. It's been like a month and a half. I am sorry. But hey, they won. So there's something to be said for there.

S2:E9 - The Enchantment Under the Tree Dance (Formal, more like BOREmal)

January 31, 2022 05:00 - 1 hour - 55.3 MB

So much conflict in this episode that the only thing we discuss is Bob Saget who was reported dead while we were recording the pod. Comedy is dead. No one is allowed to be funny anymore. RIP Danny Tanner and not Bob Dole.

S2:E8 - HCM: Hibachi Can't Miss!

January 12, 2022 13:58 - 39 minutes - 35.8 MB

Lots of lies. Luke lies when he cries. Just listen to the episode. Also Betty White was alive at the time of recording this pod so everyone relax. Truly the more egregious offenses were the Bing Bong references at the beginning and end of the pod. Whatever, fuck ya life, bing bong.

S2:E7 - Baby Lucas

December 02, 2021 05:00 - 47 minutes - 43.8 MB

Sorry it has been a bit. House hunting sucks. Don't buy a house. Especially since we are trying to find one. It's hard. Stop buying in the Cincinnati area, We need more options. Anyway the Aussie thinks Lucas is an infant. Hilarious. Tric is the hot new club ruined by teens. More hilarious. Bing bong.

S2:E6 - F*ckin' (High Flyers) Camp

November 06, 2021 18:16 - 50 minutes - 46.5 MB

Kids be having sex too much on this show. Frankly I am tired of it. Also Dan Scott is hot now? I don't get it. Also I totally forgot to upload this before Halloween. My bad. And I am very much aware that Your Mom's House used the "Fuckin Camp" sound bite before us, but chill. We love YMH and they made us fall in love with the Fuckin Camp Girl, so this is a tribute to Todd and Christine. We followed proto. You didn't. You're fired, bud. Touch my camera through the fence.

S2:E5 - BBQ > OTH

October 15, 2021 04:00 - 38 minutes - 35.3 MB

We mostly argue about the contents of BBQ sauce, little about the content of OTH sauce. This episode sucks tho. Listen for the bits alone!

S2:E4 - New Guys and Also Cocaine

October 06, 2021 04:00 - 44 minutes - 40.5 MB

\/\/33D is k00L. Got a little too high before this sesh. Sorry. Anyway lots of new nationalities in this episode. We got....Australian professors posing as students to get in good with their class and also to possibly have sex with Karen. I dunno man. The skittles cold open rules though.

S2:E3 - Pioneering the Party Bus

September 21, 2021 04:00 - 47 minutes - 43.6 MB

What a nothing fucking episode. We talk mostly movies, Brazilian Butt Lifts (BBLs), and fuck around for the first ten to fifteen minutes. Spoiler alert for the movie Hereditary. Oh well we had fun.

S2:E2 - Get Your Own Wife! (feat. Ellie Moss)

September 09, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 56.3 MB

You ever rent a warehouse for a teen wedding shower? Well good news, now you will never have to. These dumb fucks in Tree Hill did it for us. Listen in abject horror as we dive deep into how these idiots normalize marriage for kids who can barely drive. Our guest Ellie gives us the scoop on nursing evil tv characters back to health and shares the skinny on her own fandom of the dummies in OTH.

S2:E1 - The Union of Naley

August 31, 2021 04:00 - 48 minutes - 44.1 MB

Everything you thought was going to take weeks to solve gets fixed in one episode. Terrible writing. Sit back and relax as we talk about pooping in the wrong places and why high school marriage might not be ideal. Goodnight and good luck.

S1:E21 & E22 - DOUBLE TROUBLE!

August 20, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 79 MB

You guys like farts? Stealing babies? Post-marital coitus? Then this one may as well tickle your giggle gland cuz we got all that shit and a bag of dicks. We are double podding for the last two episodes of the season! We got JOKES. We got MUSICAL numbers. We got CATS. But not any musical numbers from 'Cats'. 'Cats' sucks. Our cats rule though. Goodnight!!!

Episode 21 & 22: DOUBLE TROUBLE!

August 20, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 79 MB

You guys like farts? Stealing babies? Post-marital coitus? Then this one may as well tickle your giggle gland cuz we got all that shit and a bag of dicks. We are double podding for the last two episodes of the season! We got JOKES. We got MUSICAL numbers. We got CATS. But not any musical numbers from 'Cats'. 'Cats' sucks. Our cats rule though. Goodnight!!!

S1:E20 - B.Y.O.T.

July 29, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 57.1 MB

The kids throw a party at Nathan's new digs. And there can't be a party without unwanted guests and crazy teen moms running around. Audrey is teasing the cats with the laser pointer, gotta go.

Episode 20: B.Y.O.T.

July 29, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 57.1 MB

The kids throw a party at Nathan's new digs. And there can't be a party without unwanted guests and crazy teen moms running around. Audrey is teasing the cats with the laser pointer, gotta go.

S1:E19 - Off the Rails!!!

July 14, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 58 MB

We venture off topic multiple times, which just so happen to be the best parts of the show. We just ate a big charcuterie board and I was absolutely blasted off gin and soda, so I was laughing. A lot. We hope you like teen pregnancies and only teen pregnancies, because that's all what this annoying episode of One Tree Hill is about.

Episode 19: Off the Rails!!!

July 14, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 58 MB

We venture off topic multiple times, which just so happen to be the best parts of the show. We just ate a big charcuterie board and I was absolutely blasted off gin and soda, so I was laughing. A lot. We hope you like teen pregnancies and only teen pregnancies, because that's all what this annoying episode of One Tree Hill is about.

Minisode: Tina's Package

July 07, 2021 22:43 - 10 minutes - 9.5 MB

WARNING: LOTS OF LIP SMACKING. Our greatest fan of all time, Tina from Winnipeg, our Canadian Queen, sent us an amazing care package. We cold open with Suge's poop butt, which is not as appetizing as it sounds, and carry the rest of the ten minutes as a sort of unboxing/mukbang/ASMR session thing. If you listen to no other episode, please listen to us just geek out over Canadian snacks.

S1:E18 - Boy Toy Auction w/Suge on the Table

June 28, 2021 04:00 - 55 minutes - 50.5 MB

Hello. We are back. Shit is wild. We talk boy toy auctions and how Hilarie Burton, Bethany Joy Lenz, and Sophia Bush stole our completely original idea that has never been made into a podcast before us, I promise.

Episode 18: Boy Toy Auction w/Suge on the Table

June 28, 2021 04:00 - 55 minutes - 50.5 MB

Hello. We are back. Shit is wild. We talk boy toy auctions and how Hilarie Burton, Bethany Joy Lenz, and Sophia Bush stole our completely original idea that has never been made into a podcast before us, I promise.

S1:E17 - AMC TO THE MOON!!!!

June 16, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 57.2 MB

It's been awhileeeee, or however that shitty band Staind says it. We have been busy as all hell. But don't worry. We are getting back into it. Enjoy the craziness in this episode. You won't regret it as much as we do. Something about Terry Silver from Karate Kid 3 tricking Karen into falling in love with him to get revenge on Daniel LaRusso or some shit I dunno I am just stoked for Cobra Kai Season 4 LETS GOOOOOOOO.

Episode 17: AMC TO THE MOON!!!!

June 16, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 57.2 MB

It's been awhileeeee, or however that shitty band Staind says it. We have been busy as all hell. But don't worry. We are getting back into it. Enjoy the craziness in this episode. You won't regret it as much as we do. Something about Terry Silver from Karate Kid 3 tricking Karen into falling in love with him to get revenge on Daniel LaRusso or some shit I dunno I am just stoked for Cobra Kai Season 4 LETS GOOOOOOOO.

Episode 16: FINALLY Something Worth Watching (Feat. Nicki Minaj)

May 25, 2021 04:00 - 55 minutes - 51 MB

Remember two weeks ago we did an episode and that particular OTH story was whack as shit? Well we worked slightly harder over the last two weeks to get you something almost worth watching before you skip it all together to listen to our hot garbage. Anyway, I am very sleepy. Hope you like it. Bye bye.

S1:E16 - FINALLY Something Worth Watching (Feat. Nicki Minaj)

May 25, 2021 04:00 - 55 minutes - 51 MB

Remember two weeks ago we did an episode and that particular OTH story was whack as shit? Well we worked slightly harder over the last two weeks to get you something almost worth watching before you skip it all together to listen to our hot garbage. Anyway, I am very sleepy. Hope you like it. Bye bye.

Episode 15: What A Nothing Episode

May 11, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 56 MB

This OTH episode was a total nothing. Our synopsis was spot on. If you want to skip any episode of OTH, this is the one to let us summarize. We talk about hotboxing farts, banks being bad, unlocking memories of George Clooney Batman, and how teenage boys are overall the worst with making any sort of judgement. Come for the hot takes on owing money to a hospital, stay for the retail price on Playstation 2 consoles in 2004.

S1:E15 - What A Nothing Episode

May 11, 2021 04:00 - 1 hour - 56 MB

This OTH episode was a total nothing. Our synopsis was spot on. If you want to skip any episode of OTH, this is the one to let us summarize. We talk about hotboxing farts, banks being bad, unlocking memories of George Clooney Batman, and how teenage boys are overall the worst with making any sort of judgement. Come for the hot takes on owing money to a hospital, stay for the retail price on Playstation 2 consoles in 2004.

Bonus Episode: Kill Me Dead

May 03, 2021 04:00 - 19 minutes - 17.5 MB

This is everything we left out of episode 14. So much extra content. Please enjoy before you kill me dead.

S1:E14 - Boyfriend In A Coma

April 26, 2021 11:00 - 55 minutes - 50.8 MB

Listen. Morrissey sucks. He literally threatened legal action against the Simpsons in the event he had money. Which he doesn't. And neither do we. But I am tired and this is the only title I could come up with. Lucas is in a coma, but for some reason the episode is about literally everyone else. We got hammered and I had to cut like 30 minutes out of the pod and some of that is gonna be a bonus episode so I really hope you enjoy that nonsense. Until then, here is this behemoth. It took foreve...

Episode 14: Boyfriend In A Coma

April 26, 2021 11:00 - 55 minutes - 50.8 MB

Listen. Morrissey sucks. He literally threatened legal action against the Simpsons in the event he had money. Which he doesn't. And neither do we. But I am tired and this is the only title I could come up with. Lucas is in a coma, but for some reason the episode is about literally everyone else. We got hammered and I had to cut like 30 minutes out of the pod and some of that is gonna be a bonus episode so I really hope you enjoy that nonsense. Until then, here is this behemoth. It took foreve...

S1:E13 - Beach Whores

April 16, 2021 02:23 - 47 minutes - 43.6 MB

Karen is back...but with a price. Peyton and Lucas continue their dumb as shit affair. Haley shoots Granny Style. There is literally nothing to not like about this episode. Even when Dan shits on the therapist for graduating from Richmond University. Fuck Dan. Go Spiders.

Episode 13: Beach Whores

April 16, 2021 02:23 - 47 minutes - 43.6 MB

Karen is back...but with a price. Peyton and Lucas continue their dumb as shit affair. Haley shoots Granny Style. There is literally nothing to not like about this episode. Even when Dan shits on the therapist for graduating from Richmond University. Fuck Dan. Go Spiders.

Episode 12: Our Best Cold Open Yet! (NOT STAGED)

April 06, 2021 03:03 - 38 minutes - 34.8 MB

Sorry about the wait! Getting on a regular schedule here soon. I am very sleepy. Anyway, Dan has unwanted visits from his parents and Peyton's dad goes missing on an oil rig, which is like...yeah okay fine anything to move the story along. Goodnight.

S1:E12 - Our Best Cold Open Yet! (NOT STAGED)

April 06, 2021 03:03 - 38 minutes - 34.8 MB

Sorry about the wait! Getting on a regular schedule here soon. I am very sleepy. Anyway, Dan has unwanted visits from his parents and Peyton's dad goes missing on an oil rig, which is like...yeah okay fine anything to move the story along. Goodnight.

S1:E11 - Jim Omelets and Darth Myers

March 20, 2021 17:13 - 57 minutes - 52.7 MB

We do be putting things in omelets that shouldn't be in omelets. Brooke is jealous of Peyton's friendship with Lucas and Lucas almost assaults a man who turns out to be Peyton's dad so this is the height of comedy. Is this the episode where Dan and Deb get divorced? His creepy Darth Myers persona doesn't help him. Yucky diaper man. Anyway hope you enjoy, sorry it took longer than usual to upload. Poopoopeepee.

Episode 11: Jim Omelets and Darth Myers

March 20, 2021 17:13 - 57 minutes - 52.7 MB

We do be putting things in omelets that shouldn't be in omelets. Brooke is jealous of Peyton's friendship with Lucas and Lucas almost assaults a man who turns out to be Peyton's dad so this is the height of comedy. Is this the episode where Dan and Deb get divorced? His creepy Darth Myers persona doesn't help him. Yucky diaper man. Anyway hope you enjoy, sorry it took longer than usual to upload. Poopoopeepee.

Episode 10: How (Not) to Be a Daddy

March 01, 2021 02:03 - 52 minutes - 48.2 MB

The theme is dads. Whether you are a bad father, a father figure, or a teen dad, you can learn a lot about how absurd it is being a papa in Tree Hill, NC. Buckle up, buckaroos, this one is DEEP. Or as deep as we can get on the CW/WB/Hulu syndication. Whatever. You're not my dad.

S1:E10 - How (Not) to Be a Daddy

March 01, 2021 02:03 - 52 minutes - 48.2 MB

The theme is dads. Whether you are a bad father, a father figure, or a teen dad, you can learn a lot about how absurd it is being a papa in Tree Hill, NC. Buckle up, buckaroos, this one is DEEP. Or as deep as we can get on the CW/WB/Hulu syndication. Whatever. You're not my dad.

Episode 9: Nathan's On Roids

February 21, 2021 21:53 - 49 minutes - 45.6 MB

Welcome back to another episode of ANNIE & THE FART! Today we double down on swearing after shouting out our mother as a sponsor and conflict is everywhere in this after-school special set in Tree Hill. We sing Cheap Trick and dabble in metal riffs. LET'S GOOOOOOOO.

S1:E9 - Nathan's On Roids

February 21, 2021 21:53 - 49 minutes - 45.6 MB

Welcome back to another episode of ANNIE & THE FART! Today we double down on swearing after shouting out our mother as a sponsor and conflict is everywhere in this after-school special set in Tree Hill. We sing Cheap Trick and dabble in metal riffs. LET'S GOOOOOOOO.

God Doesn’t Watch One Tree Hill

Episodes