The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting

Episode 59: Adoption Matters. Talk About It!

November 08, 2023 10:00 - 11 minutes - 16.3 MB

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss observing National Adoption Month. As adoptive parents, we probably already think and talk a lot about adoption. And this month, we might even find ourselves sharing on social media smiling, happy photos. After all, adoption helped us build a family! Why wouldn't we be excited? But how would it be if our conversations acknowledged adopting from the adoptees' perspective and not just as adoptive paren...

Episode 58: A Discovery Episode ...Is Adopting a Child Right for Me?????

April 21, 2023 16:26 - 30 minutes - 20 MB

Listen to excerpts from Growing Intentional Families Together's Discovery Webinar Is Adopting a Child Right for Me? Hosts, adoptive parents, and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, continue their hiatus 'til June. Meantime, they've been busy working with their colleagues and have recently launched Is Adopting a Child Right for Me? Child-centric and adoption attuned, it’s a six-module, on-demand course that offers information, preparation, and competency to make that importa...

Episode 57: Is Adopting a Child Right for Me?

March 16, 2023 14:45 - 13 minutes - 7.52 MB

Join hosts, adoptive parents, and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss their upcoming course, Is Adopting a Child Right for Me? Child-centric and adoption attuned, it’s a six-module, on-demand course that offers information, preparation, and competency to make that important, life-changing decision to adopt a child ... or not. More information about this upcoming course as well as a free discovery webinar with Susan and Gayle and their colleagues at Growing Inte...

Episode 56: Sharing Heart to Heart Conversations

February 17, 2023 10:00 - 28 minutes - 17.9 MB

Taking a break is an opportunity to catch a breath, reassess, and tweak ... SO this episode is a rebroadcast as your hosts take a winter-into-spring hiatus. Join us for new episodes in June! A desire to connect with another person is at the heart of every conversation. Too often our words land in an unintended way. Mismatches are not uncommon in conversations between parent and child. So what can we parents do to avoid these conversation mishaps? Join hosts, adoption coaches, and...

Episode 55: 4 EASY Things to Resolve to Do in the New Year

January 26, 2023 10:00 - 13 minutes - 9.11 MB

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss 4 EASY things to do as resolutions for the year ahead. These suggestions were designed with the holiday weary listener in mind. They remain applicable as we move further along in the coming year. Like all parents, adoptive moms and dads can neglect their own self-care and this can affect how we "show up" with our kids. So together in this short episode, let's review and resolve so that we can be the adop...

Episode 54:Let's Explore How to Build an Adoption Attuned Library

December 21, 2022 10:00 - 27 minutes - 21.4 MB

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how to go about building an Adoption Attuned Library. Last month they discussed "The Top Six Reasons You Want an Adoption Attuned Library." And now in this follow-up episode, 3 types of readers are addressed and an example of how a specific book for each type fits the bill of Adoption Attunement is identified. All under the umbrella of Adoption Attuned Parenting, from accurate information to evoking empa...

Episode 53:6 Reasons to Build Your Adoption Attuned Family Library

November 16, 2022 10:00 - 22 minutes - 13.7 MB

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss why its important to develop a family library that is Adoption Attuned. Books serve as an immensely valuable tool for helping families address adoption complexity. And, a loving parent’s lap offers the perfect, safe place to share a book. So you can see why developing a well stocked adoption library can help adopted kids talk about this significant part of their family. Both parent and child benefit i...

Episode 52: Hope for the Best Yet Prepare for the Worst

October 26, 2022 09:00 - 23 minutes - 19.9 MB

Did you realize that adoptive parenting and hurricane preparedness have a lot in common? Think of it as “hope for the best yet prepare for the worst.” Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how preparing to be an adoptive parent is like storm preparation. We can’t think that challenging parent/child issues won’t head our way. We can’t think, "Not my kids or It will never happen to us." It can. In fact, it almost certainly will! Perhaps it ...

Episode 51: Celebrating 50 Episodes of Adoption Attuned Parenting!

September 21, 2022 09:00 - 33 minutes - 18.3 MB

Join hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they celebrate 50 episodes of The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting. Susan and Gayle discuss special podcast highlights including: Adoption Attunement' foundational truths How coaching can benefit adoptive families The gains and the losses for all in the adoption constellation Why appropriate adoption language matters The authoritative sources behind the Adoption Attuned approach Special g...

Rebroadcast: Interview with Lynn Grubb, The Adoption Genealogist

August 17, 2022 09:00 - 32 minutes - 29.9 MB

Hosts Susan David and Gayle Swift have taken an August hiatus to spend some time with family, friends and extended relatives! Please join them for a rebroadcast of their interview with adoption author, adoptee, and adoptee genealogist, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening first discussion about genetic genealogy for adoptees. Lynn lets us in on what you need to know before starting to search and some other considerations you might not have considered. As always, your hosts focus on Adoption A...

Episode 49: Helping Our Kids Feel Safe in Today's Uncertain World

July 19, 2022 09:00 - 26 minutes - 14.6 MB

Join adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how we can make our adopted children -- all children -- feel safer in a world that is currently experiencing many events that make us all afraid. It seems as if violence is permeating our world whether here in the United States or thousands of miles away. So what do we find ourselves doing to deal with this fear and what might we do differently that would be more effective? Your hosts of The Essentials f...

Episode 48:Nurturing the Ties That Bind

June 21, 2022 06:32 - 29 minutes - 16 MB

Join hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they focus on mothering and how we can nurture respectful, healthy relationships between ourselves and our children's birth moms. With so many competing emotions in adoption, all three parties in the adoption constellation -- birth mother, adoptee, and adoptive mother -- can wrestle with fear of rejection and of not being good enough. It could be easy to fall into seeing one another as competitors, sometimes e...

Episode 47: Revisiting Adoption Attuned Holiday Celebrations

May 19, 2022 17:13 - 27 minutes - 17.4 MB

It is that time of year again -- we just honored mothers on their special day, graduations of all sorts are being celebrated, and Father's Day is just around the corner. Join hosts Susan David and Gayle Swift as they revisit a previous episode discussing how to manage holiday celebrations, the Adoption Attuned way.

Episode 46: Interview with Adoption Consultant, Abby Jacobson

April 21, 2022 14:22 - 37 minutes - 23.2 MB

Adoption coaches, Susan David and Gayle Swift, are joined by special guest, adoption consultant Abby Jacobson as she shares her personal adoptee experience that now assists her in understanding the unique issues that adoptees face. Abby's candid sharing is refreshing, informative, and one of inspiration for adoptees and the families that love them. Learn more about Abby Jacobson at www.adoptionconsultant.net Abby Jacobson is a professional Adoption Consultant bringing over 20 years of ex...

Episode 45: The 5 Essential Qualities that All Adoptive Parents Need

March 19, 2022 01:23 - 27 minutes - 17.5 MB

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss Adoption Attuned parenting strategies. This month, they'll focus on 5 of the unique, additional, and essential characteristics that adoptive parents need to parent well. Parenting is surely a tough job and adoptive parenting is parenting on steroids! But parenting well is achievable with intention, preparation, and education. Listen in on the discussion of five of the most essential qualities ad...

Episode 44: Sharing Heart to Heart Conversations

February 12, 2022 08:59 - 28 minutes - 17.9 MB

At the heart of every conversation is a desire to connect with another person. Too often our words land in an unintended way. Mismatches are not uncommon in conversations between parent and child. So what can we parents do to avoid these conversation mishaps? Join hosts, adoption coaches and parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss how to listen so your kids feel seen, heard, and loved. As always, the discussion is Adoption attuned and child centric.

Episode 43: Make your Adoption attuned Resolutions for 2022!

January 19, 2022 06:10 - 31 minutes - 18.4 MB

Join adoption coaches and parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift as they host special guest, adoption coach and consultant, and adoptee, Sharon Butler-Obazee. They'll be discussing ideas for making your new year's parenting resolutions Adoption attuned and child centric. Make resolutions that are solid for 2022 and beyond. Ms. Obazee is a well-trained and experienced coach with lived understanding of the adoption experience. She recently joined Susan and Gayle as adoption coach and consul...

Episode 42: Attuned and Affirming Holiday Celebrations

December 08, 2021 07:02 - 27 minutes - 17.4 MB

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss Adoption Attuned parenting strategies. This month, they'll focus on parenting with intention that is essential during the holiday season. Pressures, expectations, emotions, and fears all operate at an intensified level at this time of year. And what makes being Attuned to our adopted children all the more vital as we celebrate with family and friends.

Episode 41: Genetic Genealogy 101

November 08, 2021 17:33 - 32 minutes - 29.8 MB

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they interview adoption author, adoptee, and adoptee genealogist, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening first discussion about genetic genealogy for adoptees. Lynn lets us in on what you need to know before starting and some other considerations you might not have considered. As always, your hosts focus on Adoption Attuned practices that help families raise healthy and happy adopted children. Our guest, Lynn Gr...

Episode 40: Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith

August 18, 2021 20:00 - 38 minutes - 24.8 MB

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they discuss Gayle's recent book, co-authored with adoptive parent and adoption coach, Sally Ankerfelt, Reimagining Adoption: What Adoptees Seek from Families and Faith. Their book has been well received by both faith communities and those in the adoption constellation and blends personal experience, expert insights, adoptee interviews, trauma research, and scriptural interpretation so The Church and the C...

Episode 39: On Being a More Compassionate, Caring, and Competent Adoptive Parent

July 22, 2021 01:27 - 45 minutes - 30.6 MB

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Susan David and Gayle Swift, as they interview adoption author, adoptee, adoptee genealogist, and adoptive parent, Lynn Grubb for an enlightening discussion about the adoptee experience. Let's continue to discover together Adoption Attuned considerations as we strive to raise healthy and happy adopted children. And for those of you with adult adopted children, what can you do now? Lynn offers a variety of perspectives: she is an Adopte...

Episode 38: An Adoption Attuned Father's Day!

June 17, 2021 00:59 - 7 minutes - 4.94 MB

Join us as we listen to a special reading of GIFT coach, adoptive parent, and award winning author, Gayle Swift as she reads, The Blessing of Fatherhood.

Episode 37: Revisiting An Important Topic: Adoption Myths

May 20, 2021 00:25 - 16 minutes - 29.8 MB

This is a previous edition originally broadcast in February 2020. Join adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss a few of the adoption myths that persist in our culture.

Episode 36: An Interview with Lori Holden, Author of The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole

April 20, 2021 20:30 - 31 minutes - 57.2 MB

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David of Growing Intentional Families Together as they host special guest, author and adoption writer, Lori Holden for a discussion about the benefits of openness in adoption. Lori’s book The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole is on required reading lists at adoption agencies around the country, offering guidance on how parents can help their children heal the split between their...

Episode 35: Adoption Attuned Parenting Contemplates the Diamond Within Us All

March 22, 2021 16:07 - 23 minutes - 19 MB

Adoptive parents and GIFT Family Services' adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by special guest, UK adoption coach and adoptee, Simon Benn. His work with children focuses on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience. This is the 2nd part of a 2-part interview with Coach Simon and he'll share both his breakthrough T.H.R.I.V.E. model -- Trauma release - overcoming adoption trauma, Healing - ...

Episode 34: Cultivating a Sense of Belonging in Our Adopted Children

March 17, 2021 23:08 - 23 minutes - 21.5 MB

Join hosts, GIFT adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss the longing for all people to belong, especially our adoptive children. The saying is that we're all a little Irish on St. Patty's Day; it's both a call for merriment and to be part of the "in" crowd. While we nor our ancestors may not hail from the Emerald Isle, let's explore a few ways to help our kids know who they truly are as they journey forward, Irish or not!

Episode 33: Adoption Attuned Parenting Contemplates T.H.R.I.V.E.

February 24, 2021 00:30 - 27 minutes - 23.8 MB

Adoptive parents and GIFT Family Services' adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by special guest, UK adoption coach and adoptee, Simon Benn. His work with children focuses on showing parents how to help their children be happy, build their children's confidence and strengthen their resilience. In this episode we learn his "story" that led to his work empowering adoptees and adopters to break through to T.H.R.I.V.E., an acronym described by Trauma release - overcoming ...

Episode 32: Voices Matter In Adoption

January 23, 2021 17:19 - 22 minutes - 20.1 MB

Join adoptive coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David as they discuss the importance of "giving voice" to adopted children. They talk about how adoptees' voices are sometimes minimized and offer suggestions on how to adoptive parents can be better listeners.

Episode 31: Subscription Series Preview -- Getting It Together Before You Adopt

December 15, 2020 06:20 - 23 minutes - 21.1 MB

Adoptive parents, adoption coaches and long time hosts of The Essentials for Adoption Attuned Parenting, Joann DiStefano and Susan David are joined by colleague, Sally Ankerfelt to discuss GIFT's upcoming Subscription Series by the same name. Sally and Susan highlight the first course in the series, Getting It Together Before You Adopt, designed for those who are just beginning to think about the adoption option.

Episode 30: The Indispensability of Connection!

October 21, 2020 00:00 - 21 minutes - 19.2 MB

Join adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, as they discuss the importance of connection for our adopted children during this difficult COVID 19 era. Listen to a few ideas they share about how to connect. They encourage parents to be Adoption-attuned as they intentionally create rapport and connection with their children, yet following their children's lead as to what works best for them.

Episode 29: Parents Need to Handle Their Own Stuff!!!

September 30, 2020 04:13 - 21 minutes - 19.3 MB

Join hosts adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, for a discussion on the importance of handling the disappointments of infertility or the burden of financing an adoption early rather than later so that pain and resentment does not get in the way of building a solid relationship with your adopted child.

Episode 28: Adoption-attunement Parenting Includes Following the Rules

September 03, 2020 08:41 - 16 minutes - 15.6 MB

Join hosts, adoption coaches and adoptive parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, for a discussion about a less explored but very important aspect of Adoption-attunement (AQ), follows ethical practices.

Episode 27: Adoption-attuned Parenting and Racial Equity

July 29, 2020 13:39 - 37 minutes - 32.3 MB

Join adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David as they host the fourth and final episode of a series dedicated to adoption-attuned parenting and the quest for racial equity. They'll be joined once again by colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, for an interview with special guest, adoption coach and adoptee, Sharon Obazee. Ms. Obazee brings her unique perspective and shares her thoughts on transracial adoption and how we can make a difference in our actions, word...

Episode 26: Adoption-attuned Parenting

July 21, 2020 15:14 - 36 minutes - 66.8 MB

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David host the third in a four part series of special editions of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting. They'll be joined once again by colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, for an interview with special guest Lola Adebara, Founder and Executive Director of Minneapolis based Partnerships for Permanence. Ms. Adebara has a wide variety of social work experience and she'll share how how we can assist adopted and foster young ...

Episode 26: Adoption-attuned Parenting

July 21, 2020 15:14 - 36 minutes - 33.3 MB

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David host the third in a four part series of special editions of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting. They'll be joined once again by colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, for an interview with special guest Lola Adebara, Founder and Executive Director of Minneapolis based Partnerships for Permanence. Ms. Adebara has a wide variety of social work experience and she'll share how how we can assist adopted and foster young ...

Episode 25: Adoption-attuned Parenting and the Call for Racial Justice

June 30, 2020 23:45 - 28 minutes - 26.8 MB

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David host the second in a four part series of special editions of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting. Joined by their colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, they discuss recent events in our country calling for racial justice and how that relates to adopted children of color. They'll share a coaches' perspective on what adoptive families can do to best attune to their adopted children of color

Episode 24: Adoption-attuned Parenting and Racial Justice

June 24, 2020 16:00 - 30 minutes - 26.6 MB

Adoption coaches and parents, Joann DiStefano and Susan David host a special edition of Essentials for Adoption-attuned Parenting. Joined by their colleagues, Gayle Swift and Sally Ankerfelt, they discuss recent events in our country calling for racial justice and how that relates to adopted children of color. They share some of the things they could have done better or differently as adoptive parents including believing in the false promise of color blindness.

Episode 23: Allowing Our Children to Speak Truth Aloud

June 19, 2020 14:58 - 18 minutes - 18.9 MB

Join your hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David as they discuss listening to understand your adoptive children rather than to refute, solve, or soothe their concerns or problems. Allowing our children to speak truth aloud is part of Intentional Parenting and Adoption-attunement (AQ) practices that can help us build a more loving and trusting relationship with our children.

Episode 22: Calling All Adoptive Parents to Adjust Their Binoculars!

May 18, 2020 19:15 - 19 minutes - 36.3 MB

Join your hosts, adoptive parents and adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David for a discussion on how Intentional Parenting and Adoption-attunement (AQ) practices can help adoptive parents and their children stay or get regulated, build resiliency, and triumph over the challenge of the post-COVID-19 world.

Episode 21: Adoption-attunement in the Covid 19 Pandemic

April 15, 2020 15:51 - 17 minutes - 32.1 MB

This month's The Essentials of Adoption-attunement Parenting touches base with adoptive parents who need to be aware that trauma and attachment issues will persist despite the whole world having stopped. It continues to be important to tune in with yourself first before you can offer help to your children. Take care of making them feel safe, nurture their needs, and then create a sense of belonging.

Episode 20: Rejection Casts a Long Shadow

March 02, 2020 14:00 - 18 minutes - 33.6 MB

Abandonment is part of adoption. Rejection is the belief that emerges from it. Adoptive families must learn to accept their children for who they are and at the same time, recognize that their presence in their family comes at high personal cost to them. While we have hopes and dreams for them, we have to make space for their attributes, talents, and temperament and not project our desires onto them. Adoption-attunement (AQ) allows us to take our children's insights to heart and reconnect to...

Episode 19: Adoption Myths Still Prevading Our Culture

February 10, 2020 23:35 - 16 minutes - 29.9 MB

GIFT adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss the myths that have pervaded adoption for decades. These myths are detrimental to the development of our adopted children. This short discussion emphasizes why we, as adoptive parents, need to find the courage to challenge these myths in our everyday life.

Episode 18: How Inducement Shapes Intentionality in Adoption-attunement Parenting

January 10, 2020 23:07 - 14 minutes - 25.9 MB

GIFT adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss how the concepts of inducement, intentionality, and commitment work with Adoption-attuned parenting.

Episode 17: How Intentional Are YOU?

December 04, 2019 18:26 - 13 minutes - 10.4 MB

GIFT adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss why intentional parenting is a must for adoptive parents and share some examples of what you can do to better attune with your adopted child.

Episode 16: Love Means Letting Go of the Child of Your Fantasies

November 08, 2019 22:45 - 11 minutes - 10.5 MB

GIFT adoption coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss the importance of adoptive parent's loving the child they have and not the child of their fantasies. Adoptive families can sharpen their adoption-attunement quotient or AQ by listening to this episode.

Episode 15: What May Create Anxiety in Adoptive Parents?

August 02, 2018 20:32 - 23 minutes - 23.1 MB

GIFT coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss possible causes of anxiety in adoptive parents and how this might create anxiety in their children. Learn ways to understand and support them using Adoption-attuned* practices. Some of the information is based on Privilege of Parenting by Bruce Dolin, Psy. D.

Episode 14: What May Create Anxiety in Our Adopted Children?

June 19, 2018 14:44 - 17 minutes - 17 MB

GIFT coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss possible causes of anxiety in adopted children and ways to understand and support them using Adoption-attuned* practices. Some of the information is based on Privilege of Parenting by Bruce Dolin, Psy. D.

Episode 13: Tools for Updating Perceptions in Your Adopted Family

May 24, 2018 18:18 - 14 minutes - 15 MB

GIFT Coaches, Joann DiStefano and Susan David, discuss why it's important to understand how perceptions of reality differ among members in adoptive families. Of course, it is important to be Adoption-attuned* and also to update how you perceive your children; appreciate their various aspects and shift your patterns and ways of being when appropriate.

Episode 12: What Adoptive Parents Can Learn from the Challenges of 2017

January 16, 2018 15:45 - 25 minutes - 24.3 MB

Hosts and coaches, Joann and Susan, discuss the challenges that adoptive families may have faced in the past year. Using Adoption-attuned Parenting (AAQ) and "Well Formed Outcomes", you can shape and improve your families' relationships in 2018. Practicing intentionality and mindfulness allows for easier repairs of tensions and conflicts within your adoptive family.

Episode 11: A Special Interview with Adoption/Foster Care Professionals

December 19, 2017 16:18 - 45 minutes - 61.4 MB

Adoption Coach, Sally Ankerfelt, hosts this enlightening interview with two young adult professionals who have experienced the foster/adoption care system firsthand and are now working to improve it for others with their organization, Partnerships for Permanence (P4P). P4P is an affiliate of GIFT Family Services and is a resource for families, children and young adults. You can find P4P at GiftFamilyServices.com.