Tomorrow is my first Valentine's Day without 아빠. I would've called him on this day. He would've sent me pictures of the dozen red roses and cake that he got my mom. I would've FaceTimed him and shown him our elementary school chic Valentine's Day paper heart decorations, strung from our ceilings and taped to our walls. He would've laughed. He would've been amazed and amused at my over-the-top-ness. This is one of my favorite holidays, strangely enough. None of that will be happening this year. These holidays come so fast, without any time to prepare for them, or recover from the last one. The grief waves that come with these holidays as a package deal are unpredictable, but they predictably always come. I miss my dad. I miss 아빠 so much.

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