Gajok, Ep. #101: April 29, 2024

The massive wave of grief hit me the day after the 7-month anniversary of 아빠's death. My grief is shifting and I feel myself feeling more like myself. I kind of miss the old grief because I felt more connected to 아빠. The old grief felt comfortable — this new grief feels foreign and distant. I've been feeling an unexpected anger towards 아빠 lately. The anger is coming from a place of feeling like he's the reason that I've been suffering so much. It feels wrong to be angry at someone for dying. I'm stressed about releasing our fourth song of the year tomorrow. But we'll get it done. This grief is heavy, but I'm still surviving.

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