Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy
456 episodes - English - Latest episode: 20 days ago - ★★★★★ - 1.8K ratingsSex podcast to help committed couples keep it hot! Find hope to keep your marriage and committed relationships emotionally connected and sexually erotic. Certified sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson is joined by global leader in couples therapy - George Faller, LMFT for an expert, frank and fascinating conversation about sex, love, therapy, relationship dynamics, healthy couples and marriage. We discuss everything from best sexual techniques and solving sexual problems, to building the emotional intimacy necessary for great sex in your relationship! Two therapists bring you sound, concrete tools to reframe your relationship problems and learn how to fall in-love again, rebuild trust, and feel desire. Subscribe to us today!
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Episodes
434: Sex and Culture
April 05, 2024 22:11 - 32 minutesDid you ever stop and think about why you view sex the way you do? Where did your thoughts and feelings on sex come from? In this episode, George and Laurie discuss how cultural influences affect our view of sex. Culture includes race, religion, sexuality, location you were raised among others. There are so many factors that make up your perspective of sex and relationships. Listen to our hosts share how their cultural experiences have shaped their worlds and the work they have done to expand...
433: School of Love Lesson: Sexual History
March 29, 2024 15:03 - 36 minutesLast episode we invited listeners to have a candid conversation with their partners about emotions and how your family expressed emotions. This week on our latest lesson in the 'school of love,' we are talking about how to have positive conversations about your sexual history. As therapists, we gather this information and call it a sexual assessment. The funny thing is, it's not all about sex! We are curious to learn about touch you experienced in life, how affection was displayed and how th...
432: The Essential Questions to Ask to Understand Your Partner Better
March 22, 2024 13:14 - 41 minutesOur latest installment in our school of love, introduces listeners to the essential questions to ask your partner to understand their attachment relationships. EFT therapists conduct an attachment history during their early sessions to better understand the protections of each partner and why they may use pursuing or withdrawing strategies when experiencing relationship distress. Join us today to hear the questions George and Laurie ask during their couples sessions and give us their answers ...
431: Mailbag Question: Can You Help Me Fix My Sexless Marriage?
March 15, 2024 02:55 - 36 minutesJoin George and Laurie as we answer a 'Mailbag' question from a listener that asks our hosts with their help to fix their sexless marriage. Sexless marriages are defined as having sex less than four times a year. Our listener shares that they love their partner but know that they withdraw both emotionally and sexually. She has worked hard to try ALL the things to increase engagement on both levels and finds that not much has changed. Our hosts are masters of empathy and begin a conversation w...
430: Understanding Attachment Styles
March 08, 2024 01:00 - 35 minutesAttachment theory helps lovers make sense of why we do what we do in relationships. Developed from attachment theory, the theory of human bonding, are 4 attachment styles that characterize behaviors in relationships. We like to also call them strategies and we use these strategies as a means of protection when we sense a real or perceived threat in our most intimate relationships. On today's episode Laurie and George break down the four attachment styles and their presentation in emotional an...
429: What Do Couples Want?
March 01, 2024 01:00 - 34 minutesMaybe you've decided that you need to work on your relationship but what is it exactly that you want to work on? You don't want to sit in therapy and rehash every argument you had that week. Most often couples want relief from their distress and for their relationship to return to a time of greater joy and happiness. Join George and Laurie today as they share how to determine what you want when you make a decision to improve your relationship. Your homework assignment for this school of love ...
428: How to Have a Sexy Marriage with Dr. Corey Allan
February 23, 2024 13:08 - 36 minutesWelcome Foreplay listeners to a can't miss episode with our friend and colleague Dr. Corey Allan co-host of Sexy Marriage Radio podcast. With over 13 million downloads Corey and his wife Pam, lead couples in deepening and improving conversation about physical intimacy and keeping your marriage sexy. While we are missing George today, we are over the moon to have Corey on as a guest. Are you afraid to let your partner in on your sexual longings? Maybe you know what you want but have no idea ho...
427: Laughing in Bed
February 16, 2024 03:49 - 34 minutesThe saying goes that laughter is the best medicine. In our work as couples therapists, we've seen the power of shared laughter between partners. Laughter has the ability to derail an oncoming cycle, increase playfulness and deepen the bond between lovers. We've also seen moments where humor falls flat and complaints disguised as jokes cause damage. Today's show has listeners learning about the benefits of laughter between partners and creative ways to increase laughter in your bedroom routine...
426: "Secure Love" with guest Julie Mennano
February 09, 2024 21:07 - 34 minutesToday we are welcoming an attachment expert and our dear friend Julie Mennano, LMFT to the pod. You may know Julie already from her incredibly popular instagram account @thesecurerelationship. With over one million followers, Julie has been educating about attachment theory and EFT on Instagram since 2020 and is the owner of Bozeman Therapy and Counseling, LLC in Montana. She is joining us today to share her new book Secure Love and to help our listeners understand what secure love looks like...
425: Emotions -- The Language of Love
February 01, 2024 14:44 - 33 minutesForeplay listeners, join us today for a lesson on emotions! In this installment of our 'Love School' series George and Laurie are letting listeners in on the meaning of emotions and how we can lean into our feelings to improve our love life. There are 5 universally recognized emotions and behind each emotion lies a longing or need. In relationships miscommunication occurs because our non-verbal signals display these emotions well before our verbal communication has a chance to catch up. Go be...
424: Science of Love
January 26, 2024 01:25 - 37 minutesTime to get nerdy with us today listeners! We're taking another deep dive into the science of love and bonded relationships and exploring more about attachment theory. We've noticed the trend over the years of big labels being stamped on relationships and it can leave the outlook on love a little dim. Our hope in this episode is to provide more education on behaviors that are created to deal with distress in close relationships. We cite some great research from leading experts, like Peggy Kle...
423: Theory of Love
January 19, 2024 01:00 - 35 minutesThis episode is all about attachment theory. Attachment styles have been buzzing in the pop psychology world recently. Our hosts invite listeners to learn more about attachment theory which helps us understand why we fight the way we do and why our partner reacts to conflict in the way they do. Attachment theory is based on the idea that we are here to connect and life is all about relationship and meaningful connection. Join us today as we break down attachment theory, and the attachment sty...
422: Oral Sex Do's and Dont's
January 12, 2024 02:49 - 36 minutesGrab your pen and notebook for this, you're going to want ALL the notes from this episode! George and Dr. Laurie answer a mailbag question from a longtime listener about bl*w jobs. More specifically, wanting to know how to talk to their spouse about feeling disappointed that this isn't happening in their sex life. We know that this might be a tense topic for some but our hosts do a fantastic job of equalizing this and addressing what stops oral sex from happening for either partner. Touch, ta...
421: Riding the Relationship Waves
January 05, 2024 16:07 - 40 minutesIf you've ever scratched your head and wondered 'why does my partner do that?' this episode is for you. What if you could understand the waves that hit you when you face rejection or failure with your partner? This episode will help you do exactly that. We've talked a lot about pursuers and withdrawers in past episodes. Join us today as we name the five waves that each position experience in a negative cycle. George shares that we need to understand the waves to develop language in these som...
420: 5 Ways to Recover Your Relationship Fumble
December 29, 2023 01:00 - 32 minutesWelcome listeners to today's episode! A pick six in football is when the opposing team catches an interception and returns in for a touchdown. This can either be the most exhilarating or devastating play of the game depending on which team you are cheering on. Either way, it is an exciting play that can change the outcome of the situation. Join us today as we have a little fun and apply this to relationships. In today's episode you will learn how to salvage a relationship mishap. George and L...
419: Putting on the Rizz!
December 22, 2023 14:00 - 34 minutesBut, George and Laurie, what is "rizz?" Rizz, selected as Oxford's word of the year for 2023, is defined as a slang term used to describe someone's ability to flirt. The word may be familiar as its origin is the existing word charisma. Join us in this episode as we break down what is rizz and how to apply it to your relationship. Maybe you're already one of those people that has a keen ability to light up a room, draw others to you, be self-confident and also intune with your audience. Some o...
418: How to Find Your Way Out of the Shame Abyss
December 15, 2023 01:00 - 38 minutesShame is an emotional experience that confirms our biggest insecurities. S*x is a sacred space that requires us to be naked physically, emotionally and spiritually. We don't want to think of shame here, rather we decide that s*x "should" be: passionate, spontaneous, simple yet, s*x with your intimate partner can trigger shame. Join us today as we discuss the reasons why we can feel shame around physical intimacy. George and Laurie lead listeners through a valuable conversation on what parts o...
417: Make Better Sense of Your Thoughts for Better Sex
December 12, 2023 01:30 - 37 minutesIn a relationship when we experience emotional hurt we quickly want to assign meaning to the feeling. Our brains are wired to make sense of the threat and a pang of rejection can send our thoughts spiraling. Then BAM we are in the cycle with our partner. Join us today as we help you make better and more accurate meaning to slow down this automatic process and keep you from falling head first in the negative cycle. As EFT therapists, we work to make reframes of protective behavior to help indi...
416: How to Stress Less to Avoid Sexless Holidays
December 01, 2023 02:17 - 34 minutesYou grind so hard all year in hopes to spend quality time during the holiday season with your love but when the time comes you end up getting caught in the cycle. Has this ever happened to you? The holiday season brings out the extremes and primes relationships for the classic blame/attack cycle. Partners locked in tension often scream "you're too much/you're not enough" while putting on cheerful faces for family photoshoots and out of town visitors. We see the challenge and we've been there ...
415: Dirty Talk
November 24, 2023 01:56 - 34 minutesWarning this episode is NSFW and you might want to sit down for this one! Is dirty talk part of your love making repertoire? Dirty talk is defined as talking explicitly about sex with your partner. These explicit words run the gamut and can either be a major turn ON or turn OFF. Join our hosts today as they not only give us a list of dirty words to use during sex but discuss how to artfully bring up this HOT topic with your love. This is an area that you want to approach thoughtfully. Moving ...
414: Help! My partner has a foot fetish. What now?
November 18, 2023 00:06 - 35 minutesA fetish is an object or part of the body that turns someone on sexually. How do partners safely discuss fetishes? Join George and Laurie in today's episode as they answer a mailbag question from a listener who discovered that their spouse has a foot fetish. This episode is for you if you have a fetish that you're unsure how to share with your spouse or you have learned about your spouse's fetish. Dr. Laurie shares that rather than shut down the fetish a couple can focus on expansion of sexua...
413: The Formula to Unlock Female Desire
November 10, 2023 00:58 - 35 minutesForeplay listeners, join George and Laurie in this episode and help us celebrate 4 years of podcasting together! It has been quite a ride with our fearless love experts at the helm and we look forward to continuing to help our listeners keep it hot! Today we are breaking down the formula to unlock female desire. Listen as we share the 3 key ingredients that we have found are a common theme among clients, friends and in studies. They are emotional connection before sex, relaxation before sex a...
412: Man Can't Come
November 03, 2023 00:35 - 35 minutesLaurie and George answer a mailbag question in this episode. "I think my husband has been faking orgasms...how can I bring this up without increasing the anxiety he may already be feeling?" We want to thank our brave listener for reaching out to us with this question and bringing up a topic that is rarely discussed. Our hosts help provide language for couples and also make more explicit the emotions that end up driving the 'faking behavior'. Learn how to start a difficult conversation with yo...
411: What Women Want
October 27, 2023 00:00 - 31 minutesWhat is it exactly that women want? As the conversation of patriarchy and toxic masculinity have buzzed over the past few years (and for good reason) we're all left scratching our heads navigating this conversation. Join Laurie and George today in this exploratory conversation on masculinity and modern relationships. Spurred from a weekend away with Dr. Laurie's girlfriends filled with laughter, LOTS of conversation about sex and the lyrics from the song, 'Cover Me Up' by pop country star Mor...
410: Recovery from the Negative Sexual Cycle
October 20, 2023 00:10 - 32 minutesGeorge reminds us that the sexual relationship between adults is the ultimate playground and reclaiming that energy is what makes great lovers! When couples identify and de-escalate their negative cycle they can sometimes become unclear about what happens next. You've been so trapped in the conflict that doing something different is relieving yet we still crave more depth in the partnership. We share the good news of what the payoff is from all the hard work! Join us today as we expand on thi...
409: What Withdrawers Want
October 13, 2023 03:23 - 37 minutesIn this episode, George and Laurie explore the world of the sexual withdrawer. In the sexual cycle, withdrawers avoid, shut down or turn away from sexual connection. This causes the sexual pursuer to feel rejected, hopeless and abandoned and their reaction often confirms the withdrawers worst fears about sex. Anxiety does what anxiety does and a tension begins to form around this precious part of their relationship. Join us as wedeep dive into the sexual withdrawer's fears and help them disco...
408: Desire: Initiating v. Responsiveness
October 06, 2023 00:47 - 37 minutes"Since the majority of women are responsive to desire, does that mean all women are sexual withdrawers?" Dr. Laurie says, "Absolutely not!" Join us on the episode as Laurie and George break down the difference between initiating and responsiveness and the pursue/withdraw cycle. How they look similar and how they are different. We discuss underlying needs and tactile ways in which each partner can take risks to deescalate negative cycles and bring more connection to the relationship. Pursuers ...
407: Embracing the Erotic
September 29, 2023 04:00 - 36 minutesJoin Laurie and George in this episode as they answer a mailbag question from a devoted listener. The sexual pursuer asks the experts how can I tell my partner I am longing for more erotic connection without it coming across as criticism and causing my partner to shut down. George and Laurie validate this pursuer and all their efforts they put forth for the relationship and come alongside to help them communicate with their love. We discuss how these partners might be missing each other and h...
406: Going Deeper
September 22, 2023 00:00 - 37 minutesYou might be downloading this episode hoping to hear about a sexual position but this episode is all about going deeper into VULNERABILITY. Laurie and George get curious with the longings of the sexual pursuer and sexual withdrawer, what their experience is and how it manifests in the cycle. A sexual pursuer might be asking, "am I too much?" and the sexual withdrawer might find themselves asking, "am I enough?" Join our hosts today as they bring these fears to light and share with listeners h...
405: 10 Things to Not be Ashamed of During Sex
September 14, 2023 23:54 - 40 minutesSights, sounds and smells OH MY! There are many aspects to sex that can cause embarrassment for partners. We are here to let you know that so many things you are worried about are NORMAL! Join us in this episode to hear our list of '10 things not to be ashamed of during sex'. Maybe you were told that women weren't supposed to make noises during sex or incorporating a vibr@tor was wrong. Whatever the message was, you may be dealing with shame around sex that stops you from having an earth-shat...
404: 4 Ways Anxiety Kills Your Sex Life and How to Stop It!
September 08, 2023 23:33 - 40 minutesDo you have anxiety when it comes to your sex life? Maybe you identify with the sexual pursuer role in the relationship and find that you are the partner that keeps track of when and how often you have sex. This can create so much pressure for you and your partner! Join Laurie and George today as they discuss four ways anxiety is killing your sex life and the tools you need to fix it. George reminds us that anxiety can put us in yellow brain, meaning we cautious with our lovers because we are...
403: Take the Pressure Off: How to Fix Delayed Ejaculation
September 01, 2023 13:10 - 39 minutesDelayed ejaculation is when a man cannot reach orgasm intervaginally during sexual intercourse. If this is something you have dealt with, you are not alone! We know that this can be frustrating and embarrassing for men that have experienced this and today's episode will provide you with tangible tools to overcome it. Join George and Laurie today as they discuss delayed ejaculation, the cause of it and problem solving strategies. Download this episode to learn how to reduce the pressure around...
402: F the Cycle
August 25, 2023 01:00 - 43 minutesWelcome listeners! Today we are saying F the Cycle and using good energy to help deconstruct the negative cycle and rebuild a positive connection. In this episode George and Laurie reinforce the brain training concept, 'Name it to Tame it' in regards to the sexual cycle. Why is naming the cycle so important? It is because the initial reactive response comes from the limbic region of your brain. The primitive part of your brain that senses out real or perceived threat and gives you only a few ...
401: How to Not Take it Personally
August 18, 2023 13:12 - 38 minutesDo you take your partner's behavior personally? Learn how not to in this episode! It's common for individuals to engage in pursuing or withdrawing behaviors in their relationships. If not feeling heard or understood by your partner you might push to move through the conflict or withdraw to move away from it. Both moves are meant to create safety but can continue to cause more distress between partners. In this episode, Laurie and George discuss the moves of pursuers and withdrawers, how partn...
400: Women's Pleasure Techniques - Our 400th Episode!!
August 11, 2023 02:36 - 36 minutesToday we are celebrating the 400th episode of Foreplay Sex Therapy Podcast! The idea for the podcast originated after Laurie was told by commercial radio that she was too spicy for broadcast. Their loss is our gain. Join Laurie and George today as they celebrate this major accomplishment AND give us all the details on women's pleasure! Listeners will walk away with do's and don'ts and many new techniques to help yourself or the lady in your life achieve sexual pleasure. If you love our show p...
399: "Help! I'm Not Attracted to My Spouse Anymore."``
August 04, 2023 00:00 - 37 minutesOof listeners, this is some hard content that we are discussing today! Loss of attraction is often shared as the reason for the ending of a relationship. Maybe partners never felt deeply attracted to one another, or attraction waned over the years. Regardless of the reason, this is a must have conversation before it's too late. Join George and Laurie today on ways to artfully bring this conversation up with your spouse, to help share your feelings and also mitigate disaster. While this may se...
398: Interview with Dr. Stan Tatkin
July 28, 2023 00:03 - 49 minutesWhat's better than two relationship experts hosting a podcast? When they invite a guest and now listeners are privy to THREE relationship experts! Join Laurie and George in a special episode where we welcome Dr. Stan Tatkin creator of PACT couples therapy. PACT is a fusion of attachment theory, developmental neuroscience, and arousal regulation. Stan is the author of several books, notably "Wired for Love" and his newest release, "In Each other's Care." Come along with us as George and Laurie...
397: Making Time for Open Heart Moments
July 21, 2023 13:28 - 34 minutesHow often do you check in with your spouse where there is no agenda? We often check-in on logistics and focus on the caretaking needs of the family but do you ever just have moments where you ask your partner, "How are you, really?" Join our hosts in this episode to hear about the POWER of the intentional check-in with your partner. These conversations are primed for connection and help meet the attachment needs that we all have to be heard, understood and seen by a safe and loving other. The...
396: The 'Ins and Outs' of the Simultaneous Orgasm
July 14, 2023 01:03 - 34 minutesWe've seen it in the movies and on TV, the sexy, good-looking couple in bed that climax together. The simultaneous orgasm is a goal many couples think they need to achieve for mind-blowing sex. The problem? It sets most of us up for failure when we don't meet the Hollywood ending. Join George and Laurie in today's discussion on how couples can achieve simultaneous orgasms, the good conversations to have around orgasms and how to talk when it doesn't work out as planned. Sex that doesn't end t...
395: How Women Are Wired
July 07, 2023 13:11 - 36 minutesIn the quest to answer the age old question "What do women want?" have we forgotten to stop and ask how women work? Join George and Laurie today for a thrilling conversation to learn about how women are wired. Laurie describes that 50% of women have receptive desire. Meaning their brain needs to stop thinking about the needs of others and click over to 'think sexy.' Men are driven by a 24 hour testosterone cycle that helps make them much more spontaneous lovers while women's levels rise and f...
394: What to do when your partner would rather catch ZZZ's than make fireworks.
June 30, 2023 00:00 - 33 minutes"Not tonight, I'm just too tired." If this phrase has echoed off your bedroom walls then this episode is for you! Life's demands, new baby, chronic illness, age are all reasons we have for being too tired. In fact, recent research touts just how important a good night's sleep is for our health to manage stress and reduce anxiety. What happens though, when you turn to your partner to initiate love-making and more often than not you meet their sleep mask or snores instead of their kisses and wa...
393: Good, Good, Good, Good Vibrations
June 23, 2023 14:39 - 31 minutesAre you threatened by a vibrator? Maybe it's something you've been thinking about using or only using alone. Vibrators can play an important role in a couple's sex life but might bring up myriad emotions. You may worry that a vibrator means that you are a bad lover but we hope to reduce the stigma around sex toys! Most women do not orgasm through intercourse alone and using a vibrator to stimulate her clitoris may help her body get into the zone for an orgasm. As we hear from Laurie in this e...
392: How to ask for what you need in a way that increases connection
June 16, 2023 00:00 - 32 minutesEverybody in a relationship needs to learn this! Join Laurie and George today as they discuss and teach an integral relationship skill, asking for what you need from your partner in a way that increases connection. Each individual in a relationship has their own set of longings. Expressing a longing in a vulnerable way is SCARY. It's scary because we fear a negative reaction from the person we love the most. That fear drives us to mask and express the longing in a more protected way. Instead ...
391: Finding Common Ground
June 09, 2023 00:00 - 31 minutesWhen our brain is in a threat response our view narrows and we typically only see our side. Relationship research shows that secure couples are able to find common ground in conflict and widen their perspective to include their partner. Holding opposing points of view helps to reduce the negative cycle as partners are able to understand, validate and provide empathy to one another. And we know that this can be SO HARD! Join George and Laurie for today's episode where they discuss and role pla...
390: Experiencing the BIG O!
June 02, 2023 02:00 - 35 minutesWho of our listeners wants a Full Bodied Orgasm? Join Laurie and George in this episode to learn all about the full bodied orgasm. A FBO is one that is felt throughout the entire body not just concentrated to the genitals. Laurie was recently interviewed and quoted in several publications, describing a full bodied orgasm and that it is in fact a real thing! This truly is the sex education you didn't get and men and women alike will want to listen to this episode to learn more about an orgasm ...
389: If I Don't Initiate We Would Never Have It!
May 26, 2023 13:00 - 31 minutesIn Episode #389 Laurie and George discuss common roles in couple's relationships around sex. Are you the partner that initiates or the receptive partner? Our hosts detail that there is no right or wrong to either of these roles but when stuck in a negative cycle, couples can easily pathologize their partner. "Oh, all they ever think about is sex. They just want to get off." Or, "They are so cold. If I don't bring it up we would never have it at all." If this sounds like something that happens...
388: Sex Life a Snoozefest?
May 19, 2023 00:22 - 33 minutesBoring is a signal and it's a sign that something needs to change! A complaint about monogamy is that the line between responsibility and desire often gets blurred and it is responsibility and safety that win out. Long-term couples come to therapy with a complaint that sex is predictable and had become boring. Join our hosts in this episode as they explore what might be lying under the surface. Are you simply disengaged from life? Or is there a relational dynamic that has caused a couple to d...
387: Answering a Listener Question on Sexual Withdrawers
May 12, 2023 00:00 - 33 minutesIn this listener mailbag episode, Laurie and George receive a thoughtful question from a sexual withdrawer, asking help from our hosts. They notice that as their partner asks what they want in bed, they are often empty and unknowing of the response. George and Laurie work to honor the protection of emptiness that can be present for many sexual withdrawers. The experience of not knowing the self or the needs of the self has ties to early childhood or influential relationships where there was s...
386: Blocks to Sexual Connection
May 05, 2023 00:00 - 34 minutes"Mistrust is part of the change process." We long for things to change, for the negative cycle to shift and for us to achieve closeness and connection but it is SO normal for blocks to occur during this time. Join Laurie and George in this episode learning about blocks to sexual connection, common blocks for pursuers and withdrawers and tools to use when a block occurs. Our hosts encourage us to predict the blocks and create a plan for repair, honor the function of the protection and get more...
385: Helping Withdrawers Identify and Express Longing
April 28, 2023 00:00 - 34 minutesCan we ever get out of this place, this cycle? The answer is a resounding yes! Stage 1 in EFT works on de-escalating the negative cycle and creating more safety between partners. When there is safety to take the risk of expressing your longing that lives underneath the protection to your partner, lies the solution to creating a more secure relationship. In this episode Laurie and George, illustrate for listeners the sexual withdrawer's longings and how they can share them to their love. You'l...