Ep. 49 - Don't Weaponize Self-Improvement

Announcement: Next week I will be having the amazing ALISON ARMSTRONG on the podcast!!! Make sure you are subscribed because it’s going to be split over two episodes and you are not going to want to miss this interview.

I recorded an episode a while back called “Shame Won’t Make You a Better Wife.” Episode 8

You need to hear it again.

Because I keep seeing you all using the idea of self-improvement as a way of attacking yourself and your self-worth. You are weaponizing self-control. Against yourself.

How you know you’re doing it:

You are more conscious of what you’re doing wrong than what you’re doing right.

The Perfect Wife has shown up.

Your emotional reactions seem to be worse than makes sense.

You aren’t making progress.

When we are so down on ourselves and then trying to show up as the perfect wife, it’s totally inauthentic.

What to do about it.

Name the shame.  Thank it for its contribution.

Consider life without shame. (Sidenote: accidental spending and kids nutrition sabbatical)

Consider that your actions may be coming from a place of fear or insecurity. Speak those out loud. See the reverse of them.

Clarify your vision as you would if you were speaking to a beloved younger friend.

Consider what you would need to believe, truly believe, to make a step towards that vision.