#13 - SHAME!

Aloha, in this episode I talk about shame.

I referenced episode #011 on Fear and episode #012 on Doubt.   

Fear, Doubt and Shame are the three main things that women 

suffer from.

Shame is a painful emotion that we need to talk about, woman 

want to just hide it under the rug, but I don’t want that for you.  

We need to figure out how to get rid of these feelings that are 

not serving us.

There’s no room in our lives for fear, doubt, and shame.

Growing up, have you ever had an adult say to you “shame on you”?  If you did, said, or behaved in a certain way?

We don’t think about how it’s going to affect our kids when we say those things to them.

Everything that goes on in our lives shapes who we are and who we become

and the feelings we have.  We take things on.

We need to work on letting go:

First - acknowledge that you have shame within yourself.

Shame will look different for everyone - some people have shame about how they look, shame of being in public, or speaking up, there are so many because we are all so different.

You can quiet down those feelings and let it go by understanding how it affects you in your daily life, being ashamed about so many things prevents you from achieving the things that you want or prevents you from moving forward on things.

The only way to accomplish things is to get out of our comfort zone and do the things that are scary and do the things that you feel are shameful even though they may not be.

I will always tell you to write things down on paper, writing with a physical instrument will make a big difference.  Write everything down that you can remember about the shame that you’re feeling when it started, why you think you have this kind of shame 
even though it might be scary, but in the end, you’ll be glad you did.

Get it out of your head so that you can work on letting it go.

This will help you move forward in the right direction.  Holding on to the shame that you have inside of you is not helping you at all.

Denial is also a really big enemy.

We have to have the good and the bad in our life, there’s no way that everything can always be good.  We have to have the bad so that we can appreciate the good -

opposition helps us to grow and overcome those things, that’s how God intended life to be.

Don’t be hard on yourself and get yourself down, it is possible to overcome all of these things.  It may take a little time because you’ve probably had these feelings for a really long time.  It’s amazing how long someone can hold on to feelings of fear, doubt and shame.

Change is really hard and can be scary, but the more you experience change - you start to realize that “hey it’s not so bad after all”.

Letting go could mean the unknown, what’s on the other end. If we let go of something,

you'll feel much better and feel different.

Letting go will feel much better than holding on to the shame and other feelings that are negative that aren’t helping you.

Sometimes it's better to get some help with understanding and figuring out these things, so if you would like my help you can email me at [email protected]  we can see if there’s any way that we can work together.  I’m here to support and guide you in a way that would be best for you.

If you know anyone who is suffering from shame, then have them listen to this podcast and share with them what you’re learning, it’s always good to help other people.

Women love to talk with other women and discuss the problems of their day, so how about you talk with each other about this subject of SHAME.

It always feels good when you help somebody that you care about, so I encourage you to share this podcast with the people that you know.

Shame affects our lives by making us feel like were not good enough, shame has so many different faces.  If you don’t feel like you’re good enough to do very many

things, then you just go through life living the same-old, same-old not wanting to stretch yourself or to make improvements or to work towards a dream or goal that you have.

You are worth your dreams and it's worth going towards your goals, we all have dreams and goals.

We let life get in the way because we aren’t paying attention to those things that are really important and shame seems to get in our way.

It pops up and gets in our face and makes you feel like you can’t do it or you’re not worth it.

If you’re feeling uncomfortable, it’s OK, the feeling should pass, it won’t stay with you forever.  Feel those feelings because if you try to ignore it that's when shame pops up in your face, and you’re not going to know what it is or how to deal with it.  

It’s so important to know how to recognize it.

You’re worth it, you’re worth the time it takes to get out of the denial and face your shame and admit that you have it so you can overcome it.

Good and bad words have power whether we realize it or not, everything you hear and say affects you emotionally, mentally, spiritually.  So if you ever hear someone that you know say “shame on you” please encourage them to not say that. 

If you can learn to speak up and start to recognize these things and be vocal about it will be so much more powerful in helping move you forward in overcoming this shame.

Fear, doubt, and shame hold you and keeps you down and makes you crazy because you just don’t understand why it’s there or why doesn’t it just go away.

I hope you are enjoying listening to this podcast!

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who will benefit from the things that are in each episode.

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Mahalo for listening. A hui hou malama pono (take care, until we meet again) 

Aloha, Janin 

Music by: Dennis Pavao

Song: Ipo Lei Manu

Album: Wale No

Produced by: Pilialoha Production

Permission was given to use the music from this

artist.