What To Do After You Lose It, Mama and How To Repair the Situation

We all lose it sometimes. What's important is how we deal with the aftermath. Repairing the relationships is the key to moving forward even if things are bad. Try this 4 step plan to repair and renew after a time you lost it.

TRANSCRIPT
You know that feeling of boiling anger where you can almost see the smoke coming out of your ears because your husband forgot to turn on the dishwasher or your child is doing something you specifically told them not to do and they're just blatantly disobeying you? In that moment, in the smoke, there is a choice to be made. You can try to contain your emotions and parent gracefully or you can just lose it. Yell, scream, say mean words, uhhh its horrible. 

I am guilty of this and even though I made an intentional commitment to myself a few weeks ago to not lose it in front of my kids especially, the reality is, we are under so much pressure. The exhaustion, the fear, the unending to do lists, it can really cause an explosion especially if someone pushes the right trigger- and at least my family members are trigger experts.

So instead of beating yourself up for being human, a phenomenal parenting tool is knowing how to repair the situation after the explosion. So my quick tip is on how to do this and I came across this 4 step repair plan when you lose it from Chelsea and Caitlin who are the two mamas behind @mamapsychologists. They have all kinds of amazing mom-life ideas so go check them out. I’ll link in my show notes. 

But they’ve created a 4 step plan of what to do after you’ve lost it. Here it is.

First, apologize- take responsibility for what happened and model what you’d want your child to do when he makes a mistake. Second describe what happened so that you’re both on the same page and you can explain that your reaction was not acceptable. For example, Saying “I’m sorry I scared you, its my job to manage my own emotions. Yelling is no way to work something out with someone you love”. This allows for everyone to process what happened and solve the issues that have come up. Third, do not blame or make excuses like saying, if you would have listened or you weren’t paying attention. Own up to your mistake but be kind to yourself which is the fourth step. This is an extremely stressful time for everyone. Give yourself some grace and work on repairing the relationships. 

This 4 step process is a great way to deal with those moments when you lose it. Sometimes you may not need to go through the whole thing but remember no matter what happens, you have the power to restore and improve the relationships in your home right now more than ever. We all have our moments, its what we do after that really matters.

This new reality is just that, something new we need to deal with, but you don't need to deal with it alone. Check in every week day for another quick tip on how to maintain your family sanity. I'm your host Naomi Bocaniciu you can learn more about me and this podcast on instagram @familysanitytips. I’m so grateful you are here and if you’re enjoying these tips please rate the podcast and share with your friends. Until next time, whether your family is going insane or you've got it all together, these are definitely times you will always remember.