Community Affection

We are in our final message on the book of 1 Corinthians. It’s been an incredible ride. I’ve been permanently changed by the book. Sept of 2017 we started and now, almost exactly a hundred messages later, here we are finishing up our last message. It’s been an absolutely amazing study. So much real human struggle, so much earthy human brokenness and so much hope. And this final passage will not disappoint in this regard. Another just amazingly practical insight by Paul.

Now to introduce this passage today I want talk about one of the concepts that has been most perplexing to me as a Christian. I’m going to call this the dilemma of the table.

And it’s not something that is just of academic interest. This has massive implications to to how you interact in the world. In fact, It is very likely that you have never lived a day in your life without having to navigate this dilemma to some degree.

Here’s the question in a nutshell: When your enemy offends you what should you do? Should I turn over their table and drive them out or should I set a table and invite them to dinner?

These are opposite responses, and yet you can find Scripture to support both actions.

Absorb Injustice - Set the Tables
You can find a set of verses on one side that seems to encourage believers to absorb injustice, turn the other cheek, return good for evil. When faced with evil, set the table and invite them to dinner. Mt 18. How many times should I forgive my brother, up to seven times? No, 70x7. There is no limit to forgiveness. There’s no limit to kindness. You don’t walk up to your enemy and say, “I’ve got two cheeks and then it’s on.”

We could turn to the example of Jesus.

Before Herod he did not say a word.
Before Pontinus Pilate he did not defend himself.
On the cross he just took it.
The ultimate injustice in the world, the God-man, the creator of all things, was being crucified to a tree. And he was accepting it without defense.

Christians are to be like Christ in absorbing the evil around us. Right? There are dozens of texts in this regard but we’ll let 1 Peter 3:9 be our representative verse.

It reads,

If someone is unkind to you, what should we do? Bless them.Clear enough.

Confront Evil - Turn the Tables
But there are other passages, in fact a whole grouping of passages that suggest that at times a different response may be warranted.

If your brother sins against you, go to him and tell him his fault, bring others in, declare him an unbeliever.
And we see Jesus doing this sort of thing. Calling out the wicked. He’s acting here like a lion.

He’s calling out hypocrisy.
You brood of vipers, woe to you scribes, Pharisees, hypocrites…you are like white washed tombs!
Jesus marches into the temple and he doesn’t just accept the racketeering of the money changers. He overturns their tables.
And here too we are to be like Jesus. We are to fight for justice, defend the weak, stand up for the rights of the oppressed. So much of the message of the OT prophets was calling out Israel’s leaders for ignoring the cry of the oppressed - for being passive.

Our representative verse here might be

That means confronting. That means getting involved and not just standing back in a passive mode.

So all this is a little confusing. How exactly are we to respond when we are confronted with evil? Which Matthew 18 applies to the situation? Confront or forgive?

On the one hand you’ve got the passivity of the cross and on the confrontation of the money tables. How do you know what’s appropriate and when?

How do you know when to close your mouth or open it?
How do you know when to turn the cheek or set the jaw?
The dilemma of the table. Do you set the table for your enemies or do you turn it over?
Well, today as Paul closes out this letter, he sheds some incredibly helpful light on this dilemma.

Review
Turn in your Bible’s to 1 Corinthians 16. Paul is coming off the climax of chapter 15 and the resurrection and he’s just brimming with resurrection excitement. Chapter 15 was the Easter Sunday celebration with high fives and shouts of praise. And when we turn the page into chapter 16, we find ourselves in regular, non-glamorous, disenchanting, Monday. Just back-aching, conflict-ridden, budget-broken, depressing Monday.

The resurrection is coming but until then, there’s work to be done. Last week we looked at the work of the ministry in gospel giving and gospel going.

Now Paul is going to give a final charge in regards to this ongoing, faithful work. He ends the letter by reminding of a key attitude which makes all this giving and going and WORKING effective. There is a work that is above all other work that you need to keep top of mind. It’s in fact in this brilliant summary we find the needed help to solve the dilemma of the table.

What I love about the wording here is that all these terms are war terms. These would be words you’d expect to hear as men go out to battle to kill people. It’s a braveheart speech. Picture Paul atop his horse with fire in his eyes painted for battle - lances and spears raised high. It’s life or death out there, men.

Be watchful.
Stand your ground.
Don’t move an inch.
Act like men.
Summon your strength.
It’s slings and swords and arrows and torches, and confrontation and battle and bloodshed and injury and pain. And then Paul just shocks us.

What? How do I stand firm, act like a man, be strong in love. That like saying be loving as you run your sword through his body.

That’s not what I was expecting. Faith Community Bible Church, I’m pleading with you. Listen to Paul’s words. Listen to his wisdom. Listen to his love.

We won’t gain one inch of ground for the kingdom until this penetrates our souls. It’s so embarrassingly, easy to miss the whole point of LITERALLY EVERYTHING WE’VE LEARNED IN THE BOOK.

We are so caught up on, as a species, with what needs to be done rather than how it is to be done. We are always internally tore up by the wrong things.
- Should I confront or should I absorb?
- Should I turn the table or set the table?
- What strategy do I use?

It ultimately matters very little. What matters is that in your absorbing or in your confronting, you love. If you turn the cheek or stiffen the jaw, either way it needs to be done in love.

There is no dilemma of the table. You have a decision as you approach the table. Whether you set it or turn it, the question is will you do it in love? One is effective the other is worthless.

So there’s your choice Corinthians. You can keep doing what you are doing. Pride has rendered you ineffective. Failure to love, Corinthians, has rendered you completely ineffective. You want to waste your life? Want to be ineffective, you want to win the battle and loose the war? Do all the right things but do them without love.

BUT

“IF YOU WANT to be effective,” Paul asks? Then…

Want to Be Effective?
Love Must be Primary
Love Must be Personal
The war imagery here works because effective work is loving work and loving work is hard work. To really make love primary, it’s going to feel like a war. It’s going to be a grind. It’s going to feel like an all-out assault, like a battle, like a campaign.

Let’s FIGHT Paul says to make love PRIMARY!

Be watchful for what? Well, be watchful for the erosion of love. Be watchful for behavior that isn’t done in love. Be watchful for attitudes in the church where being right is being prioritized over being loving. Watch for attitudes in the church where being gifted is more important than being gracious.

Paul is essentially saying

See how great an undertaking might be undone without love.
See how great a person might be reduced to a pest without love.
See how great an institution might be rendered useless without love.
Watch for ways that the effectiveness of your actions might be undone because of lack of love. How tragic that would be. LOVE IS OUR WEAPON. Guard that weapon.

Imagine you are fighter pilot planning a giant air strike on the enemy.

This is a critical point in the battle and you need this strike to be effective. It’s absolutely essential.
So you review the routes. You review the satellite data. You’ve memorized coordinates and trajectories.
The aircraft carrier from which you will depart motors out to sea filled with thousands of tons of fuel and supplies, thousands of support personnel, millions of dollars per day in expense.
And the day comes where you launch your offensive. Everything is timed perfectly. The weather is perfect. Your approach is perfect, you’ve caught the enemy by surprise. They are sitting ducks! And you go to deploy your weapon and you realize that your weapons were never loaded. They are sitting back in storage on the carrier.
All the planning in vain. The strategic advance in vain. The perfect timing in vain. The entire mission rendered completely useless, the effort represented in all your preparations is lost because you forgot the weapon.

Want a how-to manual on how to waste your life mission? Just stop loving. This failure is particularly deceptive because it feels like you are making great progress because of all the planning, the incredible sacrifice and effort that you put forth but in fact, because there is not love, it’s an absolute and utter waste.

It’s a mission without ammunition. Don’t forget the weapon. What is the weapon Paul says? The weapon is love.

Love is the weapon that is used to destroy strongholds. Not the cleverness of your words.
Love is the weapon that is used to undercut the enemy. Not the way you’ve manipulated events.
Love is the weapon which breaks down barriers not the way you’ve controlled information.
All that strategy is important but without love you will loose for sure. You can never win without love. You can have terrible strategy but with enough love, with a big enough bomb, you will still win. But without love, you can never win.

So let’s keep this in mind as we parent. Do I give grace here, do I discipline here? Should I set the table or turn the table? What you say, when you say it is not half as important as how you say it and your intentions as you say it.

Let’s keep this in mind as we talk with our spouses. What do you have to say that is worth saying if it isn’t done in love? It’s vanity. It’s emotionally invested missions without the power of weapons. Our weapon is love. And without it we are sunk. It’s all vanity. It’s all loss.

In conflict we so often point to the facts of the conflict. I am so justified in my language because look at all that they’ve done to hurt me. And the other person does the same thing. And that hurtful banter will continue forever until love stops it dead in it’s tracks….

Love is the weapon. Love is the power. And Paul says, watch carefully that you don’t forget that.

I like the idea of standing firm in love. This is a strange concept because again, it feels like these words are words of war and conflict because it is true. This is a war.

You have to stand firm, meaning INSIST, that love be the operating principle. This is not always comfortable.

There are attacks on love all the time that take significant courage to confront. It takes courage to confront. Confrontation is scary. And Paul says, “I know.”

I’ve confronted many people over the years on their UNLOVING attitudes and that initial confrontation is scary because initially it almost never goes well. I say, “Hey, the way you are talking was not very loving.”

The person I’m confronting will say, “Listen, I am being loving. The most loving thing I can do is tell them the truth. It would be unloving for me to not tell them. And I say, yes, it’s true. That would be unloving. And I might say,”But I don’t sense any kindness in your heart." And that just washed over them.

Then they go on and on they go about how the world is so scared to tell people the truth. And we need to have people out there who have the courage to speak the truth. And we live in a postmodern society in which there are no absolutes and people need to be told they are wrong. And all that is true. But I roll my eyes and think, you’ve already lost. You haven’t even started and you’ve lost. That attitude can never win.

Love is what? What did Paul tell us 1 Corinthians 15.

First patient and then what? Kind. It’s not arrogant. It’s not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing. It rejoices instead with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things endures all things. Love never ends.

And I look at this person and I just think, you’ve lost. None of that applies to your attitude. And all of me wants to cave in at that point. I just want to say, “You know what you are right. I’m wrong. You have been loving. Go ahead and see how that works out for you.” But that would not be loving.

But we are told to stand firm. We need to open our mouths and say with love, “That’s not right.” Jesus tells us, friend, that we need to Speak the truth, in LOVE. Grace AND Truth. Because without love, you will be rightly telling but you’ve left your main weapon back on the carrier. Without love, that truth will be useless. In fact, it will be worse than useless. Because there is no power, because there is not penetration, the only thing that will be sensed is hostility and hate and they will chase you back. They will feel threatened and hurt and will try and attack in return.

Your war is ineffective without love. Stop fighting without love. Instead stand firm and insist that love be the operating principle out of which all communication takes place. Stand firm against those ideas that would undermine the importance and preeminence of love. You have to stand your ground. LOVE WILL BE THE OPERATING PRINCIPLE IN THIS HOME.

Let’s look at the next two together.

Act like men. Be strong. He’s not contrasting men and women. He’s contrasting boys and men. There’s a difference between an undeveloped boy and a mature man. And he’s saying love with the strength of maturity.

This kind of love is tough. This kind of loving behavior that fixes serious problems is among the most difficult things that God will ever ask you to do. It’s easy to love, loveable people. That’s why so many people love me. ;-)

To love people that are unreasonable, that are thickheaded, that are stubborn, that are slow to change, that are problems, that are thorny, that are passive-aggressive, that are dimwitted, that are ornery…. to love these people, that my friend takes strength. It takes bravery. It takes courage.

It’s not easy to love these kind of people. They don’t deserve love. They deserve to feel the pain that they’ve inflicted. With such deep wounds, how can I be expected to be kind to this person? If I’m kind, they will just take that and throw it right back in my face.

But listen to Paul. We can’t confront unloving behavior with unloving confrontation. It just continues the cycle. We have to courageously love the unlovable. That’s the power

That’s going to take men. Paul says, Act like men. There’s a manliness to this defense of love that Paul exhorts. It’s going to take men who’ve trained and worked out and have war time experience. It’s easy to lash out. That’s what boys do.

Men love the unlovable.
Men say I’m sorry.
Men own their failures.
Men are the first to initiate an apology.
Men do the hardest work.
That’s a man. Act like men.
This kind of manliness is the solution to the Corinthian problem. You know it’s possible as he says “be strong, take courage” that he’s thinking of Psalm 31 because it uses the same imagery of being strong and courageous but it also addresses the issue of pride that had caused so much hurt and damage in the Corinthian church.

Be strong. Be courageous. It’s easy to be proud. That’s what boys do. It’s easy to lash out when your pride is injured. That’s what boys do. But be strong. Humble is strong.

Take all that strength that you have and instead of using it to intimidate people, instead of using it to build your own kingdom in pride, which the Lord assures you will be torn down, instead, use it to build a community in which love is primary.

What is manly work?

It’s work that is difficult.
It’s work that is really, really hard.
It’s work that is tough.
And nothing is tougher than loving the unlovable.
Let’s do it folks. Let’s summon your courage. You have to dig deep and call out. Let me ask you this morning, how is God calling you to love your enemey?

Can we do that here? Can we fight for love here?

Can we be watchful to ensure that all our speaking is in love and with the goal to love?
Can we be stand firm and insistent when love is being undermined and eroded?
Can we act like men and be strong and confront in love?
Let’s fight the war to keep love in the center. Paul gives us four words to help us. Watch in love. Stand firm in love. Act like men and be strong in love.

LOVE MUST BE PRIMARY.

And then almost as if he means to illustrate this he gives us examples of what watchful, manly, strong-faithed men who know what it means to love.

Because this kind of love needs to be seen. In fact, until it is seen, until it is lived, it has no power. The power is when love is personalized. Personal love is powerful love. And so Paul actually calls out a few people who have been particularly helpful in the Monday ministry, men who demonstrate this love. First he calls out the household of Stephanas.

Let’s read in verse 15

Paul says Stephanas was particularly to be commended because of his devotion and because of his encouragement. That’s a pretty good definition of love isn’t it? Someone who is devoted to you and someone who encourages you. The word devoted is the Greek word from which we get our word ’addict.’ The household of Stephans were literally addicted to serving the saints. They were always giving to others.

Your giving up of time that could be used for you personally and your giving it to others.
Your giving up of money that could be yours and your using it to bless others.
Addicted to other’s orientedness. Addicted means you can’t get enough of it. You love it so much.

It’s where your mind wanders when you are bored.
It’s the thing you go to when you are down.
It’s the thing you believe will give you happiness.
It’s the thing you sacrifice in order to get. You’ll push other things out of your life, even really important things so that you can have his one thing.
Serving people was like a drug for Stephanas. That sound like love, doesn’t it. That sounds like love if I’ve ever heard it. Wow.
Another evidence of Stephanas’ love was that Paul says he was just a refresher to be around. He encouraged Paul. His Spirit was tired and weary and after being with this man he was re-energized to go about the work of the ministry. Being around him was refreshing. Let me show you how this is connected to love.

Being around people who lack love is almost a draining experience. Why is that? Because people who lack love are self-centered and as a result they think their needs are the most important thing and so they are constantly taking from you.

We have 50 minutes, 45 of it is mine.
This heavy thing in my life is certainly more important than the heavy thing in your life.
My perspective is better than your perspective so let me tell you about it.
This exciting thing in my life is certainly more important than the exciting thing your life.
And so you leave just feeling drained. They’ve taken from you. All you’ve done is listen and sympathize and empathize and celebrate with them. It’s just pure give.

By contrast those who are refreshing are others-oriented and as a result they think that your needs are more important than their needs, they think that your heavy thing is certainly more important than their heavy thing. Your exciting thing is certainly more important than their exciting thing, so whatever energy they have they give to you. They listen and make you feel important. They sympathize and celebrate in way that makes you feel special. And you leave feeling built up and refreshed. That’s love. That’s Stephanas and Fortunatus and Achaicus

Finally he mentions the love of Aquila and Prisca. This is a love of another sort, which I actually have come to appreciate a lot in the last couple of years.

In order to make this point we will need to remember again, just the geographical nature of what was going on as Paul is writing this letter. He’s writing from Ephesus in a rented hall from Acts chapter 19. The church at Ephesus was an urban church in the heart of Ephesus, and it sent greetings together with all the spin-off churches that had come out of that remarkable ministry throughout the province.

So what are those spin-off church plants? Well one of them was the church that met in the home of Aquila and Prisca. Paul met this remarkable couple, who appear in several of his letters, and he met this couple in Corinth. They had come from Rome and after this letter they return there. So when we get to the letter to the Romans you find them there again with another church in their house.

They are church planters. And you know what a church planter has to do. He has to be willing to leave people he loves to go love others who don’t know Christ. And those people who don’t know Christ are hard to love. It’s easy to love your friends. It’s easy to love people that are already in. That’s an easier kind of love.

But here, they are going. When we sent two of our elders and several families from this church to start Table Rock church I was not expecting it to be so difficult. It was really hard for me to say goodbye to them. Why? Because I love those families. But in order for them to love more people, we have to spend less time together.

Aquila and Prisca were willing to drop everything an love. We have to be free with the gospel. We have to be open. And not only do they go but they warmly, heartily remember from where they came. It’s love that moved them out but it’s a love that keeps them connected.

Ultimately all our love has to be rooted and grounded in the person and work of Jesus Christ, or it is no love at all. In fact, not only is it not effective, ultimately to not love Jesus is to be utterly and completely lost.

This is shocking language given the context of love and greetings and the closeness of the church family. If anyone has no love for the Lord, let him be accursed. That’s the word anathema. Let him be damned. It’s very strong.

And it’s no mistake. This is toward the end of Paul’s life. Paul has undoubtedly been dictating the letter to someone else. By this point in Paul’s life, he’s probably nearly blind. So he closes the letter with his own personal hand so that it can be authenticated. This isn’t an imposter writing. And what do I want you to know at the end of my days as I close down this letter? I want you to know that love is everything. There is nothing more important. Do you love Jesus Christ? No question is more important than that question. It is a question of eternal life or eternal death.

Love for Jesus Christ is the center of our Christian faith. If you do not love the Lord, if you do not love Jesus Christ and if you don’t take that love of the Lord and love from the Lord and give it to others, then you are nothing. You are damned Paul says.

And in doing this Paul ends the book by bringing us right back to chapter 13.

It’s not about being gifted. It’s not about being right. It’s about loving the Lord and loving others. That’s it.

So let us end our study of Corinthians with love ringing in our ears.

Corinthians, love for self has destroyed you. Pride has destroyed you. Love for God and others will heal you. It’s all about love.

In all your watching… love. Watch for that which destroys love.
In all your standing firm…love. Stand firm and insist on love.
In all your acting like men, in all your actions of strength, do herculean, incredibly manly acts of love - love so difficult