Failures & Fakes
45 episodes - English - Latest episode: 2 months ago - ★★★★ - 5 ratingsFailures & Fakes is a comedy talk show brought to you by the members of The Ongoing Concept, focused on diving into the reality of being in a touring band, telling stories and laughing about a guy they met whose nickname was Poop.
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Episodes
TOC Talks: a new podcast from The Ongoing Concept (NEW F&F SOON!)
May 11, 2024 00:26 - 30 minutes - 69.1 MBHey! I'm old now and I forgot how to write show notes! Hope you enjoy this episode from TJ and Dawson, and we can't wait to bring you new episodes of F&F as soon as I don't live 300 miles from the boys! Join the TOC Discord and hang out with us here: https://discord.gg/kbTv9n5d Check out https://www.patreon.com/TheOngoingConcept for early access to new episodes of F&F and other cool stuff See you soon! - Cooper
F&F 40: Victor's Secret
January 10, 2021 02:44 - 45 minutes - 42.1 MBThis week, T.J. becomes a panda and the boys discuss the necessity of disclosing your foot fetish. Talking points include: That one disease where you're gonna die someday, Banana Bread Boy, Crunchy Chicken, it's-a my mom
F&F 39: Sit on a Yam
December 06, 2020 04:39 - 52 minutes - 48 MBWe're still alive! Sorry! Cooper caught the virus, which means he was basically dead! But now he's not, and everything is happy and fun and wonderful again. This episode was recorded in late October so if you're wondering why Cooper's talking about not having COVID, well, he got it after this recording. Woohoo!
F&F 38: Music Theory 101, or, "Where do the black keys go?"
October 06, 2020 15:00 - 54 minutes - 49.8 MBHoly gosh folks, we get nerdy in this one. Like, inside inside baseball. But we fulfilled the show art's claims of being a music podcast, we guess??? Now we never have to talk about music again and are free from the chains of eternal self-imposed oppression. Yay!!! Talking Points include: Born From my Mawther; Slurp That 'Roni!; To be Frank; Yes Man, Yes And; How to Kill a Mockingchicken; How to Killa Gyoouse; Metallic Bark Growl
F&F 37: He started cryin' and I was like "THAT's HIM!"
September 23, 2020 02:52 - 1 hour - 65 MBKyle is a dad now. Not a false prophet dad like Cooper, but a capital D Dad. A father. For realsies. So we talk about that and also movies and Cooper and T.J. yell about Star Wars and capitalism. Talking points: Chrild birth, Hand Conception, Still Tuggin' it, Story Time with Tyler 2.0, or Birds 2.0, Garbage Hole,
F&F 37: He started cryin' and I was like "THAT'S HIM!"
September 23, 2020 02:52 - 1 hour - 65 MBKyle is a dad now. Not a false prophet dad like Cooper, but a capital D Dad. A father. For realsies. So we talk about that and also movies and Cooper and T.J. yell about Star Wars and capitalism. Talking points: Chrild birth, Hand Conception, Still Tuggin' it, Story Time with Tyler 2.0, or Birds 2.0, Garbage Hole,
F&F 36: Small Meat Airplanes
September 03, 2020 07:28 - 45 minutes - 41.9 MBThis episode is the all-encompassing Bird Hater's guide to total sky-guy annihilation. Tune in to hear Cooper scream like a dumb bird, T.J. bitch about birds, Parker talk about fishies and Kyle talk about much worse things. Talking points include: Batman but Bread, Son of Mask Baby, Doll-Fish Evolution, How to kill an airplane, Friend of the show and also-alive-person Aaron G.
F&F 35: Beef of the Ground
August 22, 2020 19:05 - 59 minutes - 54.2 MBCome, sit next to the cornhole board, and let us share with you our stories. Watch the sun set over the grain field where we gently nurture wheat to craft Hudson's famous Meat N' Wheat as you listen to us argue over burgers and unthinkable atrocities. Join us.
F&F 34: Blow your Beans, Charlie
August 05, 2020 05:33 - 48 minutes - 44.4 MBOn this week's show, we discuss teen pregnancy, sticky beefsteak hands, and find out, for sure, definitively and without question, that Kyle is a man. Also T.J. yells about penises. Because when doesn't T.J. yell about penises. Talking Points: Buddle, Sticky Beefsteak Hands, Finger your Fingers, Parker's Canine Cravings, Teen Moms, My own Crab Rave
F&F 33: Muff Doom
July 31, 2020 01:41 - 46 minutes - 42.4 MBThis week, we talk about ordering pizza while high, Jimmy Neutron, and how to write rap lyrics according to sagely internet advice. Talking Points include: The Origin of Nickeludeon Slime, camping is in-tents, death by poop toothbrush, screamt and scrawned.
F&F 32: I Know the Noot Noot
July 21, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 60.8 MBIn this week's episode, the boys talk about who Michael is and whether he's okay. Cooper asks the boys some very thought-provoking questions from Yahoo Answers. Talking points include: Watermelon Fluids, IS MY CAR GAY, I Owe it all to She, ewetube dot com, We Pengu
F&F 31: How to Write a Song
July 14, 2020 15:00 - 57 minutes - 52.3 MBCooper had the chance to sit in with the boys during their songwriting process. This week's show is a look at the philosophy and process the boys use when they write. Also, T.J. hates hot dogs.
F&F 30: Thirty, Flirty and Thirsty
July 07, 2020 15:00 - 46 minutes - 42.7 MBThis week's episode feature's some BAND TALK! That's right, we talk about MUSIC! Like our podcast art advertises! Go us! Also featuring some nasty shit like Kyle eating pizza while naked. Talking Points include: Eighteennakedcowboysville, Pizza Congruency, Naruto Tentacles, Scrome, Scrame and Scroted, Kyle's Diaphragm, (s)--if any--
F&F 29: Blonde Isn't a Personality Trait
June 30, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 64.4 MBThis week's show is a bit different than usual, but it was a conversation we really liked and also we're working on other stuff for the podcast. We hope you get something valuable out of it.
F&F 28: Irish Cream
June 23, 2020 15:00 - 50 minutes - 46.4 MBThis week's show includes our standard offering of poop stories and unexpectedly serious conversation. Kyle talks about stupid coworkers and anxiety, T.J. once again tries turning this podcast into one about old films and the boys talk about what they're doing with The Ongoing Concept.
F&F 27: The Magnificent Negative Pressure Foot Chamber
June 16, 2020 15:00 - 45 minutes - 41.6 MBThe boys return to their nasty nasty roots and talk about foot-condoms, earthworm guts and more. They also discuss the subject of Dahvie Vanity being an absolute garbage human, Cory Brandan's Twitter fuck-up and more.
BONUS: Arrows Before Bullets EP Commentary
June 15, 2020 01:10 - 31 minutes - 29 MBThe boys talk about the Arrows Before Bullets EP, which is not totally amazing but maybe some of it is. Next bonus will be part 1 of 2 of our Saloon commentary!
F&F 26: How to Join a Band (HINT: DON'T)
June 09, 2020 15:00 - 48 minutes - 44.7 MBIn today's episode the boys talk about how to join/start a band and crush all of your hopes and dreams. You're welcome. We also talk about the music we've been listening to because apparently y'all care. Look out for bonus episodes featuring commentary of every TOC record releasing (hopefully) every Thursday!
BONUS: What Is My Destiny EP Commentary
May 31, 2020 23:38 - 16 minutes - 15.1 MBThe F&F boys discuss their first EP and try to roast it (even though I think we all liked it a lot more than we wanted to). We hope you enjoy!
F&F 25: WHAT ARE YOU GOING
May 26, 2020 15:00 - 44 minutes - 40.8 MBThis episode is a big ol' roast including all the meanest comments Cooper could find on Lambgoat and YouTube. We also talk about a few interviews TOC participated in before they were even grown-up boys. Join us on an adventure of discovery including WHAT ARE YOU GOING IN MY HOUSE XD, Cooper's room temp IQ and Kyle yelling about how we've already done this song. We know, Kyle.
F&F 24: The Jake Chronicles
May 19, 2020 15:00 - 56 minutes - 51.4 MBOn today's show we chat with our brother Jake Nichols about his experiences touring with TOC for two weeks way back in 2015. Talking Points: Dammit Audrey!, Kyle's Butterballs: Redux, Van Farts, Homophobic Headliner, Belle Haven Buds, Use The Back Toilet
F&F 23: WHY WE QUIT
May 12, 2020 15:00 - 1 hour - 55.4 MBIn this ultra-long episode, the boys explain why they left The Ongoing Concept. In this director's cut of the story we give you all the juicy details (not really), share all the hottest goss (but not really) and share some never-before-heard, mind-shattering truths (that part just is not true). Now you can stop asking us!
F&F 22: Soak or Sop
May 05, 2020 15:00 - 52 minutes - 48.3 MBIn today's show, we talk about the boys' experiences with fans, merch design and hawking your shit. Angela Shinkarenko guests as our resident shrinkage expert. Talking points include: Filthy Hockey, Dip Your Balls, How to Soak, Woman Voice, Thicc in a good way
F&F 21: We Can Drink Now!
April 28, 2020 21:50 - 47 minutes - 43.9 MBOn today's show, we talk about how the show has made us realize how bad we all are at talking. We also ridicule Kyle for owning a small personal zoo. Talking points include: Manscaped Man, Idda-Voppay, Flesh Straw, Microgasm, Megabit Megadick, Elongus Testicalus
F&F 20: Baby Under the Womb Tree
April 21, 2020 15:00 - 45 minutes - 41.4 MBOn today's show we talk about how bands make money (or lose it), how COVID-19 is affecting musicians and we catch up with Kyle's baby updates. Talking Points: Artist Lroyalties; Don't be a fuck boy, drop a buck boy; I'll be your Fuckleberry. LET'S GOOOO!!!
F&F 19: The Sex Ed-pisode
April 14, 2020 15:00 - 48 minutes - 44.7 MBToday's show is 100% about sex and boners, including our worst high school boner stories. Talking Points: Spermicidal Vesicles, Horny Teenage Monster, Everyday Bone at Nine, Mr. Keith
F&F 18: Steven Seagall Feather
April 07, 2020 15:00 - 54 minutes - 37.1 MBThis show is about how we're dealing with the current horror of life. We also get a story from Kyle (weird huh?) and a history lesson from Parker/ Talking points include: HYOONDAIE, Stop Sign Ad Campaign, Blood Straw, Live Laugh Lube
F&F 17: Seven Layers of Ankle Ball Hell
March 31, 2020 15:00 - 46 minutes - 32.1 MBIn today's episode we talk about our new YouTube channel, our meme contest, shitty interviews and worse festivals. Talking Points include: Kyle's Mic Lips, Nose Printer, Parker's Juicy Laugh, 3rd Arm (On Your Back), Parker's Roast Beef Fetish
F&F 16: Kraft Mayo Xenophobe
March 24, 2020 15:00 - 44 minutes - 30.8 MBIn this show, T.J. and Cooper challenge Kyle's beliefs on freedom of speech. The hosts also talk about getting drunk off of one beer. Talking points include: Come out of Fear, Respect People, Jimmy Johns vs Pita Pit Ultimate Showdown, Cumpiss Squirrel
F&F 15: The Legend Of Poop
March 17, 2020 15:00 - 47 minutes - 32.8 MBThis episode features discussion of the making of the Arrows Before Bullets music video and the man called Poop. Topics include: 4 year old Peter Jackson, Get Out Of Me: Origins, Poomph off Da Bike, Pillow-Moving Demons, Foot Death.
F&F 14: Hand-Hwipe
March 10, 2020 15:00 - 43 minutes - 29.5 MBWe talk a lot a bout poop in this one. We also talk about the band's music videos for Failures & Fakes and Like Autumn. Topics include: Communal Shit Pile, Sloth Logs, Chili Oil Disaster, Titular Music for Titular Podcast, Humans in a Wagon
F&F 13: Nirvana Nor Pearl Jam
March 03, 2020 16:00 - 42 minutes - 29 MBIn this extra explicit episode, we talk about the band playing a show at their high school and we might also talk about testicle acoustics. Topics include: Food Stink > Ballsack Stink, High School Fame, the concavity of your sack, Duct Tape Plane, Brotherhood of the Traveling Thong
F&F 12: Episode Dozen
February 25, 2020 16:00 - 46 minutes - 32.2 MBEpisode Dozen: Part 2 of our discussion on making the instruments for Handmade. (Hint: those instruments weren't used for the album) Topics include: Parker's Pterodactyl Predicament, Penile Front (for money laundering?), TJ's crippling dyslexia, Thank you jaming Handmade
F&F 11: Drums Forged in Mordor
February 18, 2020 16:00 - 42 minutes - 28.9 MBThis episode includes the first half of a long conversation about making instruments by hand for Handmade The Ongoing Concept's second album. There's also a bunch of bullshit. Topics include: Kyle dying on Places, Feel (Again), Tama's Limited Edition Uruk-Hai Snare Drum, TJ's first release
F&F 10: God's Thot Patrol
February 11, 2020 16:00 - 56 minutes - 39.1 MBWho the fuck is Joe Pesci? Cooper doesn't know. This episode includes discussion about a whole lot of nonsense, like us complaining about people complaining. Topics: our new political campaign lewd Patreon; fuck off local bands, I hate you; metalcore fashion tips (hint: wear black); Codename: Everlasting Gobstopper
F&F 9: Episode I Think it's 9
February 04, 2020 16:00 - 45 minutes - 31.5 MBThis episode includes talk about playing video games on tour with other bands and Kyle trying to explain AGDQ! Topics include: Can Mormons go swimming, TJ's Hard Top Ramen Burritos, Kyle's Transporter 2 review, Love Ya PJ!
F&F 8: The Thing Parker Do
January 28, 2020 16:00 - 1 hour - 43.1 MBThis shitty episode covers the shitty gear the band used on tour and the experience of going into the studio to record a shitty album. Topics include: Puke Pocket, Thanks Cory, what-the-fuck-is-Kyle-even-talking-about, THE SEVEN LEVELS OF KEVIN BACON HELL.
F&F 7: fuckurmom.com
January 21, 2020 16:00 - 57 minutes - 39.5 MBThis show's main topics include some shit about Kyle riding a longboard or something and the effects touring has on young people. Talking points: Manhattan van breakdown, Kyle rambling and rabbit-trailing for literally like an hour, sperm data factory??? and men's vibrato. Bravado? We don't know.
F&F 6: Is Donkeys Kids???
January 14, 2020 16:00 - 49 minutes - 34 MBIn this week's episode we talk about the process behind The Ongoing Concept's music videos for Cover Girl and Saloon and also talk way too much about everything not related to those things. Topics include: Viggo Mortensensen's The Road, Lion King featuring Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson, Cup holder; Computer holder?
F&F 5: Kyle's (in)Famous Butterballs!
January 07, 2020 16:00 - 47 minutes - 32.3 MBEpisode 5 already, huh? Wow. time to send this guy to kindergarten! This show's topics include the band signing to Solid State and how the members found a band/life balance. Talking points: Sexy Squirtle is gonna fuck your dad, Adam is cool, Parker's Molding Bunk, Schooltime bird shrieks
F&F 4: Screw Your Bladder Sac
December 31, 2019 16:00 - 39 minutes - 26.9 MBOur main points of discussion include misconceptions of touring bands and Parker getting drunk off of bootleg Vanilla Coke. Talking points: Swinger's Church, your Grandma Sounds Shitty, Stolen Water, Fire Semi, Exploded Bambi and Mailbox Crushing
F&F 3: We played with NF before it was cool
December 24, 2019 16:00 - 48 minutes - 38.8 MBWe talk about the band's stage presence and what kind of music metalcore bands listen to. We also remembered that this show would be going up on Christmas Eve. Topics: Wide crabcore squats, Axing Axexandria, "what is a turtle dove?", pop music is all, Cooper hates Feliz Navidad
F&F 2: Eddie Leatherpants
December 17, 2019 13:00 - 41 minutes - 28.4 MBWe talk about the hosts' best concerts for 2 minutes and quickly veer off, which we think is pretty on-brand. Topics: Mike Tyson's Dyson, fake van breakdown, T.J. broke his butt and also his bass, Eddie Leatherpants and Vietnam Knife Man.
Episode 1: How I Met Your Brother
December 11, 2019 05:32 - 48 minutes - 33.5 MBOur infant show's first episode. Topics: Segway Dreamcast, T.J. sweats to death in a van for five years, stinky onion youth group boy, nasty nasty toilet horror
Failures & Fakes Primer
December 11, 2019 05:00 - 4 minutes - 2.86 MBThis episode is a quick primer that you should listen to if you're unfamiliar with who we are. If you're not unfamiliar with us, we're surprised.