Dr. Jess O’Reilly: Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!

Summary:

In this episode, Dave interviews Dr. Jess O’Reilly, a super successful sexologist. Jess became interested in sexual health when she noticed a problem in school systems. Students were all facing issues related to relationships and sex, and no one was giving them the knowledge they needed. That problem sparked her desire to leave teaching and go back to school to get a PhD in human sexuality. Now she has come up with a method to treat your marriage like your business and invest in the future of your relationship.

Time Stamped Show Notes:

00:33 – Introducing Jess 00:45 – Not a typical entrepreneur 02:35 – Jess’ most recent book The New Sex Bible, along with many others 03:30 – Why Jess is a great candidate for this podcast 03:55 – She has created a brand around herself 04:25 – Jess started as a high school teacher for at-risk teens 04:55 – Jess saw that all teen had issues related to sex and relationships 05:20 – “We need better education on sexual health” – Dr. Jess O’Reily 05:50 – Jess decided to leave teaching and see what she could do to improve sex-ed 06:10 – This education needs to start at a very young age 06:55 – She was a natural entrepreneur, and she felt a frustration with sex ed 07:20 – “Why did you go back to school?” – Dave Will 07:50 – The education system in Canada is state mandated 08:20 – Jess was looking for a career change from teaching 08:35 – Jess didn’t like the classroom setting or the set structure 08:55 – It was a selfish way out to work with students in a different capacity 09:20 – Jess received a PhD in human sexuality, and there were no jobs in that 10:00 – High school kids hear the clinical side of sexuality, but Jess focuses on the emotional and relationship components 10:55 – Students need a space to discuss those things 11:08 – They don’t have reliable sources 11:18 – They need that “data” to become relevant to them 11:55 – A lot of things related to sex and porn pop up in different places. Let’s talk about that exposure on the internet. What is your advice to parents for that? 12:55 – It’s important to talk to young people about sex and porn 13:10 – Blocking sites is not effective 13:22 – Get ahead of the porn problem. Talk to kids before it becomes an issue 13:40 – It’s challenging because parents are uncomfortable talking about it 14:00 – Talk to your kids and become that person that they come to 14:28 – Porn is fake. Porn is produced 15:00 – Porn is not a normal representation of sex 15:38 – What’s the most annoying question that you get asked? 16:10 – I’m concerned when something becomes a circus trick, like squirting 17:00 – “Questions about my sex life” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly 17:40 – “My story should not be relevant to other relationships” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly 18:25 – “You can’t look to one couple or one person for an answer” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly 18:50 – If everyone’s unique, how do you educate as a sexologist at a mass level? 19:20 – You encourage and you empower, so that people can talk to their partner 19:40 – Talk about your brand, and how you built that image. 20:50 – “When I started, writing was the most important to my brand” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly 21:20 – Jess started writing on her own site and on other platforms 21:50 – Jess got her name out to publishers and got a book deal 22:15 – A TV deal evolved into a social media following 22:30 – Everything is geared toward being in front of an audience 23:15 – A lot of people fail at building multiple streams of revenue 23:48 – Content marketing representing other brands 24:30 – Competition in the field of sexology 24:50 – Jess’ interests and skill set are unique, but there are a lot of people in the industry 25:50 – Promoting your brand through social media 26:15 – How can people differentiate themselves from their competition? 26:35 – You need media training and skills 26:55 – Be media savvy 27:10 – There are many agencies that can help, but Jess has always done it on her own 28:10 – Everything she learned in teachers’ college is totally relevant to what she does today 28:35 – TMM in New York takes on clients to help with media training 29:00 – Who is your target audience? 29:10 – “It’s almost always couples. It’s better to work together” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly 29:40 – Does a lot of sex begin in rooms besides the bedroom? 30:05 – “Absolutely. Relationships and sex go hand in hand” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly 30:57 – Who will generally call to meet with you? 31:10 – In the beginning it was always the women 31:20 – Now Jess hears from both men and women 31:45 – The workshop takes the concepts of a business and applies those to a marriage 32:18 – “We have to invest in our marriages and our relationships” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly 32:35 – The wedding industry is insane, but people don’t spend money on therapy for their relationship 33:00 – The divorce industry is huge 33:10 – Make a plan for your marriage 33:35 – Sit down with your partner and pay attention 33:40 – A philosophy centered on improvement 34:00 – In business, that is always the focus 34:30 – “We should do the same thing with our families and relationships” – Dr. Jess O’Reilly 34:45 – Don’t put your marriage in cruise control 35:05 – We should not be complacent about marriage 35:35 – A quarter of your life is unsatisfactory with your partner 35:45 – Take some time to invest and plan and talk 35:58 – The TV show Swing on Playboy TV 26:19 – A reality show about swingers 36:55 – Jess was concerned about her brand, because she didn’t want to focus on swingers 38:10 – The future for Jess’s career 38:40 – Digital, with webinars 39:00 – She will continue to speak 39:50 – com 40:04 – @SexWithDrJess on Twitter and sexwitdrjess on Instagram 40:20 – The New Sex Bible 40:30 – Desire Resort in Mexico 40:50 – Dave closes the podcast

 

3 Key Points:

Find a way to monetize your passion. Get to work to develop your brand through content marketing and social media. You should invest in your marriage just as you invest in your business.

 

Resources Mentioned:

com – Dr. Jess O’Reilly’s website The New Sex Bible – A new guide to sexual love, by Dr. Jess O’Reilly Desire Resort – in Mexico, for couples only

Credits:

Show Notes provided by Mallard Creatives Audio Production by Christopher Mottram