E45: Social Anxiety and The Journey to Befriending Yourself with Mark Metry

Mental health used to be non-existent some 25 years ago. Now, there's this huge awareness when it comes to taking care of your brain and mental health.

Mark Metry is a coach, author, and speaker. Today, he talks about dealing with social anxiety as well as some tools you can use daily to improve your mental health. His book, Screw Being Shy: Learn How to Manage Social Anxiety and Be Yourself in Front of Anyone.

Here are some power takeaways from today’s conversation:

Dealing with social anxiety

Being an introvert vs. social anxiety

How mental health is the same as your physical health

Social anxiety in the guise of shyness

Everyday tools you can carry in your pocket

The benefits of meditation

Episode Highlights:

Being an Introvert vs. Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is a result of placing different limitations on your life and then seeing years go by, you realize you were never really able to be yourself. And that inner judgment that is just built-in for a lot of people.

An introvert's brain is just the way it's made. It has an inclination to think more internally. You're more introspective. And then in turn, the way you perceive the world, and how you act in the world is a little different.

An average person may experience moments of being socially anxious. Oftentimes, it starts when you're around 9 to 11 years old and a lot of people are not conscious of this. And it's a moment where your brain basically breaks. Maybe it's because of an experience that triggers them and traumatizes them to a point where the hardware in their brain is just damaged.

Ultimately, when you're an introvert, your brain is operating more inwardly whereas social anxiety has the potential to really mess up with your brain.

The Parallels Between Physical Health and Mental Health

For instance, if you break your leg, you're going to feel a lot of pain and so you go to the doctor. They're going to give you crutches, and then you come back in a month for a different cast. Then after three months, you're out.

A lot of times, this is the same with mental health. There's a part of your brain that is seriously suffering as a wider result of different issues. And so, you have to do the same thing – put yourself in a crutch and a cast.  And imagine that happening to a 9, 10, or 11-year-old. Social anxiety leads to a host of other issues such as weight gain, social isolation, and depression – and for some, it could even be suicidal.



Tools for Better Mental Health

Meditation has been done for thousands of years and it has been backed by science. It shows you first-hand that you've got voices in your head. Your brain is feeding you information. And when the brain does that, you never question what you think because you think that's you. But when you start meditating, you then begin to differentiate yourself from that thought. Meditation builds that muscle that helps you slow downtime and is able to make a decision. On top of that, make sure your brain is healthy. Another thing you could do is to talk about your experience. Understand neuroscience and how your brain operates. And when you understand that there's this biological experience occurring because of social anxiety, it could completely change your perspective on life.  

Resources Mentioned:

Screw Being Shy: Learn How to Manage Social Anxiety and Be Yourself in Front of Anyone