Don't call it a book club. artwork

Don't call it a book club.

270 episodes - English - Latest episode: 14 days ago - ★★★★ - 37 ratings

Luke and Dan discuss books and other media in the sci-fi/fantasy genre with unexpected theories and controversial opinions. Looking for a podcast that makes you smarter? Maybe keep looking.

Books Arts Comedy
Homepage Apple Podcasts Google Podcasts Overcast Castro Pocket Casts RSS feed

Episodes

Tress of the Emerald Sea: Part Two

February 03, 2023 03:36 - 1 hour - 53.1 MB

Luke needs more sports (10:45 to skip)! The boys get called out and it turns out Tress is a bit of a freak. Luke reveals himself to actually be a mask and Dan calls out these gull(hehe)ible pirates. What we using those crimson spores for? Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Tress of the Emerald Sea: Part One

January 27, 2023 02:14 - 1 hour - 142 MB

Warm up today is gonna get you riled up if you're a big self-destruct button fan (12:00 to skip). Our big goal of this book is to come up with a grand scientific theory for spore reactivity and we're getting started with some classic mole fraction talk (you know you love it). Plus how willing to swap out eyeballs are you? Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Red Seas Under Red Skies: Part Three

January 19, 2023 23:42 - 59 minutes - 50.4 MB

Something fishy is going on in the Parlor Passage. Also Luke and Dan still don't get the plan. Me thinks someone needs to give these pirates some pointers. Teach em about parley. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Red Seas Under Red Skies: Part Two

January 13, 2023 05:18 - 1 hour - 141 MB

We know you've all wanted a fortune cookie warmup so here you go (8:20 to skip). You may think we are too critical of the pirate plan in this book, but you are wrong because WHAT IS THIS PLAN?? However, don't worry because Luke and Dan are still solving problems including Locke's cat issues. Finally, is there anyone that hasn't been poisoned in this scheme? Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Red Seas Under Red Skies: Part One

January 06, 2023 04:00 - 54 minutes - 47.4 MB

Dan starts with a hype moment and Luke calls out Locke's magic skills. Break out your IRL GameSharks because we have found a cheat code. Also, get yourself that government contract money. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Holiday Gift + Fantasy TV

December 22, 2022 23:17 - 58 minutes - 133 MB

As promised Dan gives us an introduction to his favorite Christmas Tree scent brand (Amazon link). We're a little late, but finally giving our thoughts on the big TV shows of the year. Make sure you've seen Rings of Power and House of the Dragon before listening. We're off next week and then back in the new year with Red Seas Under Red Skies by Scott Lynch. Happy holidays! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Rook: Part Three

December 15, 2022 23:51 - 1 hour - 54.8 MB

Artificial Christmas tree discussion ahead (10:30 to skip). Luke points out that the Cheque can't be the only one out there and Dan is back on his bouncy house grind. There is one big question this episode and that is, how are you finding this duck? Seriously, how? Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Rook: Part Two

December 09, 2022 04:08 - 56 minutes - 128 MB

Warming up today with our classic love and appreciation of capitalism and how great toys are (10:35 to skip). From their SOPs to their personnel notes this organization has a lot of improvements to make and we're offering our consulting services. Time to max out the stats on random mythological creatures, and Myfanwy is missing some pretty big clues here.... Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Rook: Part One

December 02, 2022 03:00 - 1 hour - 57.1 MB

Dan regales us with a tale of woe (14:39 to skip). Off rip, where are you staying? You getting room service? What's the minibar situation? Luke unveils his two cereal system and it is potentially a game changer. Also, a lot of Dr. Crisp talk this episode, so be prepared. It is not your ears, there is a mysterious buzz on this episode. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Ancillary Justice: Part Three

November 17, 2022 20:40 - 1 hour - 146 MB

It's the holiday season, so as is tradition it's time for us to fix one of the holidays (14:05 to skip). Dan embraces the Radch jewelry game can for sure pull off a big belt buckle. We've got the perfect counter to the magic gun used in this book. And finally, does anyone know how this emperor thing works? The Rook by Daniel O'Malley starting next week! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Ancillary Justice: Part Two

November 11, 2022 04:09 - 1 hour - 53.3 MB

Dan starts this episode off with a little story time (11:00 to skip). Dan proposes a theory that everything is tea and Luke wants One Esk to be maybe a touch more empathetic. Also, what kind of ID checks are we using for the emperor? Patrons, check your messages and send us your address! We have stickers to mail out! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music (and the stickers design!).

Ancillary Justice: Part One

November 03, 2022 23:37 - 1 hour - 144 MB

Today's warmup is an advice column and Dan needs help with his dance strategy (14:05 to skip). We're putting together a plan to befriend AIs, but only the cool, hip ones. Folks, make sure your children's songs rhyme or it doesn't count! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

All Systems Red

October 27, 2022 23:14 - 1 hour - 53.3 MB

The long anticipated no-till agriculture warmup is finally here (11:20 to skip). Are these bot makers artisans or exploited factory workers? Luke and Dan stumble into the extinction of trivia and do some gratis white hat SecUnit penetration testing. Okay that sounded bad, the boys do NOT want to talk about the sex bots. The comedian Luke would get on his SecUnit: Gilbert Gottfried.

Nona the Ninth: Part Two

October 21, 2022 02:10 - 1 hour - 172 MB

Get warmed up by learning a fun fact about the Heimlich maneuver, although double-check those dates before you play trivia (10:30 to skip). Don't worry. We know and understand precisely what happened in this book and can explain it to you perfectly. Today we can announce that we worked with VOLO to design a new pod image that we're putting on our stickers. Big thanks to VOLO for this and letting us use his music for so long! Check out his website and Instagram for more art! Next week check...

Nona the Ninth: Part One

October 14, 2022 02:09 - 57 minutes - 49.4 MB

Luke is starting a grassroots movement dedicated to improving restaurant nachos (9:32 to skip). Leave it to your astute hosts to clear up any confusion or questions about Nona the Ninth. How long are y'all waiting before you get to the wacky stuff? Luke and Dan will be holding try outs for their body buddies. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Harrow the Ninth: Part Two

October 06, 2022 21:15 - 1 hour - 158 MB

You have a mission this week: get destroyed over-the-board by a child (10:10 to skip). Your hosts are legally obligated to summarize what happened in this book because they are honestly still coming to grips with it. Luke reignites the highly contentious "what is a planet" debate. Dan needs to know about some new innovations in the necromancer prank game. Nona the Ninth is Next. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Harrow the Ninth: Part One

September 30, 2022 01:49 - 58 minutes - 50.4 MB

Stick around for the extra long warmup today and tell us your rules and regulations for socializing (18:35 to skip). Literally what is going on in this book folks, help us make some sense of it. Make sure to come up with your teeth art, and don't sleep on the middle school S. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Gideon the Ninth: Part Two

September 22, 2022 22:03 - 1 hour - 142 MB

Dan has a very shady fun fact about body parts to get us warmed up (7:00 to skip). Ya boys come up with their ideal secret-telling liquid and pick a Pa-bone-us. Shouts out to Tamsyn for picking the least gross part of necromancy to focus on, we thank you. We're continuing with the Locked Tomb series, start Harrow the Ninth for next week! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Gideon the Ninth: Part One

September 16, 2022 05:54 - 1 hour - 53.2 MB

Dan and Luke start this episode talking about how Spiderman should be way more concerned with wage theft (8:45 to skip). In this episode we tell you when you should fight a bone lord. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

A Storm of Swords: Part Four

September 08, 2022 23:02 - 1 hour - 167 MB

It's the end of the Summer of Swords and we've got to commemorate it... Should we get a sword? Also time for initial thoughts on the new LOTR show (12:30 to skip warmup). Dan brings back everyone's favorite Tyrion theory, and we love Jamie and The Hound now. Your favorite podcasters reveal they have very different tastes in banner art. Next week we're starting Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

A Storm of Swords: Part Three

September 01, 2022 23:40 - 1 hour - 52.5 MB

Luke and Dan come out hot with a borderline problematic ageist rant. Dan wants to if it is possible for the bar of most evil to go any lower and Luke wants to know when the Westeros iPhone coming out. Tyrion come on, you know what you were doing. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

A Storm of Swords: Part Two

August 25, 2022 21:31 - 1 hour - 167 MB

Dan betrays our childhood with a very hot take on Star Wars (7:50 to skip). Deep dive into weddings in this one; we're talking payment plans, logistics, and Tyrion's feelings. Our solution may not be perfect but we gotta figure out how to deal with captives. Also, make sure to get all your agreements in writing! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

A Storm of Swords: Part One

August 19, 2022 02:10 - 1 hour - 54.9 MB

Dan holds firm in his refusal to watch any Game of Thrones content. Meanwhile Luke can't help but get hyped (9:41 to skip). This episode starts with a repeat of a classic, but quickly turns into an in depth discussion of Westeros prison reform. Dan announces his favorite character, and Luke wants someone to recognize Tyrion for once in his life. Lastly, a massive propaganda campaign is finally unveiled for its true purpose. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Dragonbone Chair: Part Three

August 04, 2022 23:23 - 1 hour - 159 MB

You know we are getting Eragon TV series warmed up (12:13 to skip). Simon's evil twin is revealed! Dr. Dan introduces a theory that is basically a cognitohazard at 42:10 so if you don't want any spoilers for the rest of the series, skip to 44:10. Finally, Luke and Dan spill the beans about their comfortable levels of physical intimacy with friends. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Dragonbone Chair: Part Two

July 28, 2022 19:35 - 54 minutes - 56.4 MB

Dan gets us started with a very hot take on everyone's favorite unforgivable curse (10:00 to skip). Simon proves that he's down for anything. We need some tips on training our wolves, and is it possible to have too much Jade? Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Dragonbone Chair: Part One

July 21, 2022 22:22 - 1 hour - 144 MB

Dan has officially committed to the bit (11:28 to skip). This episode is all about 2 things: dragging Simon and venerating a dude for eating small birds. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Dreadgod

July 14, 2022 22:42 - 1 hour - 168 MB

Luke gets us warmed up with reports from Olive Garden (9:15 to skip). Several new segments are introduced in this episode, you know we've got to have Hype Time and get excited for our inaugural "consider this" segment. Once again we have to consider if we're on Team Vroshir or Team Abidan (or maybe Team Ozriel??). Finally, are we getting out of control with the scale in Cradle? Next week we're continuing the Summer of Swords and reading The Dragonbone Chair by Tad Williams. In a few weeks w...

Redwall: Part Two

July 08, 2022 03:20 - 1 hour - 60.7 MB

I know this is the Summer of Swords, but the boys have a few questions about this particular sword. Plenty of characters earned a critical eye this episode. Also, Luke and Dan dive deep into the political structures of Redwall, and the Machiavellian tactics of the abbot. Dan is looking forward to returning to the children's section of the library to learn more about Brian Jacques' political philosophy. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Redwall: Part One

June 23, 2022 22:59 - 1 hour - 156 MB

It's a big throwback day as we get reacquainted with our local library and everyone's favorite childhood series. Lots of mouse talk in this one, any mouse biology experts let us know what we missed by emailing us at [email protected]. Plus you know we've gotta talk Redwall food which did not disappoint. Also, what exactly is cordial? No episode next week, but don't stop reading because we're still finishing the book the following week! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro a...

The Sword of Shannara: Part Three

June 16, 2022 20:41 - 1 hour - 59 MB

Luke and Dan hit us with a very topical rant about TV these days (11:58 to skip). Of course Dan has to start with a summary of this chapter, how would anyone know what story we are reading without one? Also what is this, a continent for ants? Once again, Dan and Luke investigate the cuisine only this time they look north. Finally, Luke and Dan have some notes for the Warlock King. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Sword of Shannara: Part Two

June 09, 2022 23:16 - 58 minutes - 135 MB

Dan gets us warmed up with a riveting furniture story (7:35 to skip). Shea proves that he has very poor deduction skills, the journey through the cave has some storytelling flaws, and Menion continues to be the clear MVP. P.S. Here is the couch Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Sword of Shannara: Part Two

June 09, 2022 23:16 - 58 minutes - 135 MB

Dan gets us warmed up with a riveting furniture story (7:35 to skip). Shea proves that he has very poor deduction skills, the journey through the cave has some storytelling flaws, and Menion continues to be the clear MVP. P.S. Here is the couch Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Sword of Shannara: Part One

May 27, 2022 01:12 - 1 hour - 56.5 MB

Luke got heated at a chemical conference so if you work for ExxonMobile, you have some explaining to do! (7:35 to skip). Dan starts us off with a summary that sounds somewhat familiar, and Luke needs some ice breakers. There is a gold nugget of a story nestled in this episode, so make the royalty checks out to Luke and Dan. Which of these characters would make the best wingman? Finally, what is real? Is magic real? Prove it. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Library at Mount Char: Part Three

May 20, 2022 03:32 - 55 minutes - 127 MB

We've got some well earned awards to give out, find out who is the worst person and who had the worst time in this book (Tip: the answers are obvious). Beware Father fans, we're ranting about your boi a whole lot this episode. Also seek help. Get ready for the Summer of Swords and start reading Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks for next week! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Library at Mount Char: Part Two

May 13, 2022 02:06 - 56 minutes - 50.4 MB

ALERT! GROCERY. STORE. WARM. UP. (7:22 skip). What is going on with the President of Mount Char? Father needs to trim the fat a bit and Dan is excited for Carolyn to hit 'em with a SLICE. Pop quiz: The Sun goes out. How much do you tip your waitress at dinner that evening? Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

The Library at Mount Char: Part One

May 05, 2022 20:45 - 55 minutes - 128 MB

Dan wants us to get warmed up with a surprise Pokemon and Disney reference (6:35 to skip). Big disagreements on this one about who has the best catalogue, whats your vote? My guy Nobununga might be kindof a dummy, but a big tiger can turn the tide in any fight. And of course we've got to break down the ethics of lion attacks. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Orconomics: Part Two

April 29, 2022 02:48 - 1 hour - 63.4 MB

Yeehaw, Luke gets us warmed up with a rant about Western movies (7:35 to skip). Dan pops off about a comment from our subreddit and Luke finds an incredible (or terrible) opportunity for an investigative journalist. Necromancy finally getting some love and the boys are holding out for a hero. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Orconomics: Part One

April 21, 2022 22:17 - 53 minutes - 122 MB

Huge mood shift between last week and this one, we're getting back to the funnies! Hey villains, if you're forcing someone into marriage at least have the decency to get a good venue. Dan's working on a counter-guild and Luke wants a sliding scale for bar tabs. Eat the dang elf food, Gorm! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Parable of the Sower: Part Two

April 15, 2022 04:59 - 55 minutes - 49.5 MB

Dan has learned a key aspect of Elden Ring since the Patreon episode (7:05 to skip). Luke and Dan address a controversy right off the bat and that is how you know they are professionals. We get a peek behind the podcasting curtain and Luke shares his expert water treatment takes. Finally, based on our subreddit poll apparently everybody knows about the second law of thermodynamics so Dan is a big dumb idiot. Orconomics by Zachary Pike next week! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outr...

Parable of the Sower: Part One

April 07, 2022 19:38 - 50 minutes - 116 MB

We are happy to be back with some good podcast news and a long warmup. Small dog owners beware, you're getting called out (13:45 to skip). Speaking of dogs, we may have found the right messaging for climate change deniers and dogs are key. We're sensing some west coast bias here and Dan is calling BS on this fire drug. Also this book so far is very dark, if you're not up for that right now feel free to skip! Join the discord with this link: https://discord.gg/TXcgHJtpqy Special thanks to V...

Rhythm of War: Part Four

March 17, 2022 17:59 - 1 hour - 158 MB

Good news, we finally get to have some dragon discourse in Stormlight, did we get the dragon checklist right? In a surprise move Dan is finally willing to give Shallan some slack on something. Hey, who is gonna be Odiums champion? It feels like there's an obvious choice... Next week we're taking a break followed by a patreon only mailbag episode in two weeks. Join the patreon (https://www.patreon.com/dcitabc) and send us questions if you don't want to wait 3 weeks for the next episode! Spe...

Rhythm of War: Part Three

March 10, 2022 22:14 - 1 hour - 54.5 MB

Luke gets us warmed up with an essential bathroom innovation (9:30 to skip). Brandon had a very big week last week, and we are all hyped. Can we also appreciate how insane the last decade has been on Roshar? Luke announces it is finally time to start expressing ourselves through dance instead of sword. Dan announces he is completely done with the Stormfather. Also please ignore the highstorm going on outside at one point in the recording. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Rhythm of War: Part Two

March 04, 2022 03:13 - 59 minutes - 137 MB

We're coming back to our favorite punching bag (cause he won't punch back), Lirin how are ya! Make sure to be concise in your letters folks or Dan is coming after you, every sentence counts. We're sewing out pockets shut from here on out and cheering on our new horse radiants. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music!

Rhythm of War: Part One

February 24, 2022 20:47 - 1 hour - 58 MB

The Patreon is up (https://www.patreon.com/dcitabc) be sure to check out those subscriber benefits! Dan also gives his report on the Big Bang Theory (13:15 to skip). You have GOT to read the novellas, folks. Dan is back on his theory game and Luke can finally get on board. This episode also introduces Crass Dan which we are all excited about. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Dawnshard

February 18, 2022 02:48 - 53 minutes - 124 MB

We announce some podcast news and then warmup with a hot debate about everyone's favorite show The Big Bang Theory (16:15 to skip). Luke wants the sailors to unionize and Dan wants the Sleepless in charge. It wouldn't be an episode of Don't call it a book club without us theorizing about new sports and the sleepless have a banger. Reading the first quarter of Rhythm of War next week! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Academ's Fury: Part Three

February 11, 2022 01:26 - 56 minutes - 50 MB

The Marat officially have pants on fire, and Jim needs to leave Doroga alone. Also, First Lord rhymes with vord, y'all know the rest. Dan and Luke continue to be unimpressed with this government and decide what they really need is a parade. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Academ's Fury: Part Two

February 03, 2022 23:46 - 1 hour - 141 MB

It's everyone's favorite segment, we're warming up with some grocery store talk (8:50 to skip). The boys point out all of the flaws in Aleran society. Repeatedly. Luke comes out as team Aquitaine and Dan's not afraid of our rich overlords. Also, is the grey tower a myth? Time to throw some bribes around. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Academ's Fury: Part One

January 27, 2022 20:44 - 54 minutes - 49.2 MB

Luke brags about how popular he is (6:10 to skip). The boy stand up to bullying and for once in his life, Dan doesn't propose an absurd theory. Luke gives a lesson in diplomacy and Dan gives a lesson in keeping your mouth shut when you have no idea what you are talking about. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Oathbringer: Part Four

January 21, 2022 03:35 - 1 hour - 157 MB

No warmup on this one since in classic Sanderson fashion the ending of Oathbringer has a lot of ground to cover. After the big revelation, we of course discuss some human-Parshendi relations. Dan comes out swinging with some really well thought out theories, and Luke has some constructive criticism for Dalinar. Next week we are starting Academ's Fury by Jim Butcher, book 2 of the Codex Alera series! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Oathbringer: Part Three

January 13, 2022 21:07 - 1 hour - 57.9 MB

Dan wants to learn a little "real life lore" while reading (10:55 to skip). Luke no longer stans Shallan and Dan wants to hear some details about damage and hit points. Some important discussion about who lives in Shadesmar and Dan introduces another powerful theory about Dalinar. Finishing up the book next week! Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.

Books

A Clash of Kings
4 Episodes

Twitter Mentions

@dcitabc 2 Episodes
@thecoloredpages 1 Episode