Doing What Works
210 episodes - English - Latest episode: 2 days ago -Doing What Works is a nationally-syndicated radio talk show that helps you fix what you don't like about your life.
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Episodes
Should you open Pandora’s box?
April 23, 2024 04:02 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBYou’re friends with people whose lives, while different, are on par with yours. You drift out of touch. Decades later and after only a few clicks, you learn they’ve eclipsed you in almost every way. Now what? We tackle that juicy proposition in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… Comparison is the thief of joy. Jealousy is “hostility toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage,” while envy is “painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by anothe...
How can you be less afraid to die?
April 16, 2024 01:49 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBIf you’re anything like Katie and me you have a low-grade, background anxiety about death. In this edition of Doing What Works we share what helps us in case it helps you. Bonus feature? Never, ever do what Darrell did as a kid. You’ll be sorry! Here are your show notes… Jerry Weintraub said death keeps the rope taut. In Tuesdays with Morrie, Morrie suggested asking a little bird on your shoulder if today is the day you will die. Barbara Sher said the passage of time drives you crazy when...
What do you hang your decisions on?
April 09, 2024 00:56 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBAn alarm I carry to scare off dogs didn’t scare a dog that terrorized me recently, but it accidentally kept me safe in a different way. That’s why I was eager to talk about utility in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… A util is “a hypothetical unit measuring satisfaction.” Nibbles & Bits are worth it! Marginal utility is “the amount of additional utility provided by an additional unit of an economic good or service.”
What’s the upside to sadness?
April 02, 2024 00:55 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBHow would you know what happiness feels like if you never felt the opposite? We’re happy to give sadness its due in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… “It is such a secret place, the land of tears.” Make sure you have something to do, someone to love, and something to look forward to.
How does radio really work?
March 26, 2024 01:31 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBIf you’ve ever wondered how radio works but were afraid to ask, you’ll get your answer in this edition of Doing What Works. And that’s not all. You’ll also get some ideas for making peace with the unknowable, if making peace with the unknowable is your thing. Here are your show notes… How radio works! What string theory is! “Convoy” is a song that celebrated citizens band radio. Dr. Nick Morgan introduced us to the term infovore. “If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must ...
How can you surprise yourself?
March 19, 2024 01:58 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MB“I photosynthesize,” Katie declares to my surprise in this edition of Doing What Works, “and I can’t do that in the dark.” Katie’s the master of being where she is, which is the secret to surprising yourself on a regular basis and staying interested in your life. Here are your show notes… Don’t trust how you feel about your life after nine o’clock in the evening. “To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan, and not quite enough time.” Unless you become like little children you...
Are you ready for some football?
March 12, 2024 01:49 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBUntil this year’s Super Bowl, Katie had never watched an entire game of football and cared about the football. Now she’s disappointed that’s it for the season. So what changed? Well, thanks for asking! We have some amusing answers for you in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… “Why do the Detroit Lions wear Honolulu Blue?” Quarterback is on Netflix. So is Friday Night Lights! Why sports fans are sports fans, by Tim Urban. “I wanted you to see Paris for the firs...
What keeps fear at bay?
March 05, 2024 05:08 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBWhat does it take to feel safe, and how do you create what Katie calls the illusion of safety? From a mouse in the house to death at your door, we offer coping mechanisms in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… Jerry Seinfeld explains why speeding cab drivers don’t scare you. Barbara Sher said the passage of time drives you crazy when you know you’re not using it right. The Car Talk guys knew how to live.
What inspires you to change?
February 27, 2024 02:50 - 39 minutes - 36.4 MBKatie and I are easily bored, so we’re choosy about what we talk about with whom. But what if I’m boring her? Then what? We worked it out, believe it or not, in this edition of Doing What Works -- and that’s just one of the ways we show you how change happens. Here are your show notes… Moneyball is a book about baseball. Jack Canfield says the people who live the most effective lives act as if they’re in the future, and the future is perfect. Do you believe you’re the most successful pers...
What is your relationship to suffering?
February 20, 2024 03:36 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBWe love to read and watch stories about people who suffer, and still prevail. So why do we often become indignant at having to suffer ourselves? It’s a question worth pondering in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… Whimsy is the nagging sensation life could be magical if we were willing to take a few risks. A hero, by definition, suffers. Uncertain waits seem longer than known, finite waits. Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life. “Language is a specta...
What do you train your attention on?
February 13, 2024 03:05 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBTell yourself you’re going to have fun and learn a lot, almost no matter what the experience, and guess what? You likely will. That’s the case we make in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. Jerry Seinfeld is in the business of funny. Whimsy is the nagging sensation life could be magical if we were willing to take a few risks. Find something to be surprised by every day. Do you see the field?
How can you slow life down?
February 06, 2024 02:02 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBThere’s more to life than speeding it up. So much more! And in this edition of Doing What Works we’ll give you a list of inaction items. Here are your show notes… Humanity isn’t a hack. Silence is the only true religion. Erma Bombeck wrote a lot of clipworthy columns.
How do you choose your rules of thumb?
January 30, 2024 02:19 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBKatie never hits the snooze button. Ever. It’s one of her rules of thumb, and in this edition of Doing What Works we’ll share some of our other favorites. Here are your show notes… What, exactly, is a rule of thumb? “An embarrassment to paychecks” is from The Family Man. “Choose the bigger life” is from Gretchen Rubin. Easy choices, hard life. Hard choices, easy life.
How can you help someone who’s hurting?
January 23, 2024 05:05 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBSometimes the way to help people feel better is to encourage them to feel even worse. For a while, at least. They can’t process their sadness, after all, without being sad. This encore edition of Doing What Works is one of our favorites, because we don’t pretend it’s easy -- but we do show our work. Here are your show notes… Staying the Course: A Runner’s Toughest Race taught me what it means to be a writer. Donna Mills says aging is not for sissies! Phil Stutz says he doesn’t think a...
Does your ego run the show?
January 16, 2024 02:32 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBKatie and I fancy ourselves the enlightened sort, who only occasionally let our egos get in the way of doing the right thing. When really, those egos get in the way constantly. Now what? Katie thinks I did a great job of answering that question in this encore edition of Doing What Works, but we’ll let you be the judge! Here are your show notes… We contain multitudes. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The capacity for joy directly related to capacity for pain.
Are you feeling lucky?
January 09, 2024 02:29 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBDoes telling yourself you live a charmed life work? Does feeling lucky bring on more of that? Katie doesn’t think it’s useful metric, and in this edition of Doing What Works she explains why. Here are your show notes… We got the idea for a show about luck from George Mack. There’s a podcast about Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire.” A What Color Is Your Parachute? workshop was a class on making a life transition. The Law of Attraction was the basis for The Secret. Is the Universe ho...
How can you be a good cheerleader?
January 02, 2024 05:23 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBSometimes it isn’t our job to be the star. Sometimes we’re in a supporting role, and in this edition of Doing What Works we’ll be your cheerleader as you learn how to…be a good cheerleader. Here are your show notes… “The bad stuff is easier to believe.” If you read What Color Is Your Parachute? you’ll learn that, for example, resumes are mostly used to screen you out. Barbara Sher was never a fan of self-help books or motivational speeches. Better, she said, to identify your obstacles as ...
When is confrontation worth it?
December 20, 2023 20:09 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBSomeone tries to shame Katie and me for stepping over her aisle seat in a movie theater to use the bathroom before the previews start. Someone else tries to shame Darrell after he checked for spare change from a coin-cashing machine. It didn’t work in either case, and in this edition of Doing What Works we tell you why we risked those confrontations. We also share many more times we let something go. Here are your show notes… The Good Place examines what it means to be a good person. A com...
Are little things really so little?
December 19, 2023 04:04 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBDon’t hit the snooze button. Do make the bed. Don’t put off the laundry. Little things? Hardly! They help you build momentum. They help turn you into a person who accepts what she can’t change -- like a date that won’t end in marriage -- and enjoys a lovely evening with someone who might become a good friend. The spotlight’s on little glimmers in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… “Everyone is a storyteller dying for lack of an audience.” That’s Dick Bolles. “If th...
How do you have difficult conversations?
December 12, 2023 02:13 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBHaving a difficult conversation doesn’t guarantee a solution to your problem, but you can put it in the win column if it relieves some pressure. We’ll deconstruct three different kinds of difficult conversations in this edition of Doing What Works in hopes your next one goes a little easier. Here are your show notes… Is it a problem or a situation? “Constant chatter is an attempt at control.” That’s from Dick Bolles. “People are afraid that silence will make them sound stupid,” Taylor Mal...
How do you wrangle your tech?
December 05, 2023 01:18 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBYour devices are like the air you breathe. It’s easy to take them for granted. Until something goes wrong! We’ll be your tech support in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… There’s a TV show about tech! The IT Crowd. A Casio watch won’t get you a hotel room. The Serenity Prayer might help you weather the latest technical problems.
Are you setting your sights high enough?
November 28, 2023 04:57 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBAs a cub reporter for a small radio station, I wanted to interview Bobby Knight when he was head coach of the Indiana Hoosiers. He not only agreed, but changed my idea of what’s possible. Katie drew me out about the experience in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… A Season on the Brink chronicles the 1985-86 season of the Hoosiers. Vince Staten, Maureen’s favorite professor, says you can make things happen with a good letter. The waiting is the hardest part! Rece...
Do you put your best face forward?
November 21, 2023 01:21 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBKatie’s face is her canvas. In this edition of Doing What Works she talks about how it started, why she isn’t a makeup artist by trade, and how it gives her practice accepting compliments. Even before she added rhinestones to the mix, Katie’s look has been a playground for increasing self-confidence. Here are your show notes… Katie’s makeup is a study in positive externality.
How do you show your true colors?
November 14, 2023 03:46 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBCome on. We dare you. Get through a conversation -- heck, get through a paragraph of conversation -- without using an idiom. In this edition of Doing What Works you’ll not only learn the origin of some of your most-fallen-back-on expressions but might just be inspired to up your game (oops!) conversationally. Here are your show notes… An idiom is a phrase you can’t decipher the meaning of from its individual words, and if overused becomes a cliché. Here are some idioms and their meanings. ...
How do you know if you’re in a rut?
November 07, 2023 04:07 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBThe same routine can keep you from having to make the same decisions, but the same routine can also mean you’re in a rut. The examples we cite in this edition of Doing What Works might make you laugh in recognition as you clutter bust your daily grind. Here are your show notes… Dr. Nick Morgan advises public speakers to invite people in the audience to move to the front: “The energy in the room will change.” Have you heard the one about the motivational speaker Jack Canfield and the yellow...
Can you accept unearned grace?
September 19, 2023 02:14 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBIf you find it difficult to ask for help, we can help. In this edition of Doing What Works we remind you how good it feels to be needed, and invite you to extend that opportunity to others. Here are your show notes… That feeling when a friend tells you you’re worthy of immediate attention. The most important metric to track is personal energy. In Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller explores the idea of unearned grace.
Are you willing to shift your outlook?
September 12, 2023 01:20 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBThe kind of week you have might depend on whether you ask yourself what you’re dreading, or what you’re looking forward to. This edition of Doing What Works is an invitation to change your mind(set). Here are your show notes… Dr. Daniel Amen suggests you challenge ants. No, not those. These! Automatic negative thoughts. The Untethered Soul’s Michael Singer says the voice inside your head is like an obnoxious roommate who will not shut up. Lollipop moments create ripples forever. Don...
What is your motivation for speaking?
September 05, 2023 00:00 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBSomeone stumbles on a word and you jump in with a correction. Are you being helpful or obnoxious? In this edition of Doing What Works we examine boo-boos like “Pacific” when it’s “specific,” and whether corrections are kind or cruel. We also make a case against pointing out an unzipped zipper -- and how, while youth isn’t necessarily wasted on the young, feedback might be! Here are your show notes… “Casually cruel in the name of being honest” is a Taylor Swift lyric.
Are you up for an experiment?
August 29, 2023 00:39 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBWhat do oranges, façades, butterflies, and dolls have in common? You’ll find out if you listen to this edition of Doing What Works. But bring your childlike self, because this is an experiment in random (with a dollop of whimsy). Here are your show notes… What are tapas? What’s the squiggle under the C in façade? What’s the precise definition of façade? We all have a face that we hide away forever. Would you like to see a periwinkle card from Papyrus that features a butterfly? Would yo...
Are you too quick to label things?
August 22, 2023 00:56 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBYour next job. Your relationship. The apartment you want. Even if it doesn’t bother you to be vague about those plans or circumstances, the people in your orbit might pressure you to label them. Now what? That’s what we tackle in this edition of Doing What Works. Wish us luck! Here are your show notes… Casting director Jane Brody trusts her first impression at least in part because that’s how the audience decides whether to pay attention. Katie was in Business Professionals of America in h...
Can you make your later years your best?
August 07, 2023 22:52 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBWho’s your role model for aging? Dennis Welch is one of mine. The publicist-turned-musician joins us for a special edition of Doing What Works. Dennis would never dream of getting to a point in life where he says, “Well, I guess this is it. I guess it’s all downhill from here.” Give him an hour and he’ll give you new hope for the next few decades of your life. Here are your show notes… If I Live to Be a Hundred is Dennis Welch’s latest. Steve Martin says turning sixty means your long-term ...
How does something go from farm to fork?
August 01, 2023 01:44 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBQuick. What do you think of when you hear about the farm bill? Handouts to farmers, right? That’s what I thought, and I should know better. Our show’s producer, Darrell Anderson, has been hosting a daily farm feature for almost thirty years. In this edition of Doing What Works I learn what I should’ve learned long ago. You might find it enlightening, too! Here are your show notes… Scientist invents lab-grown beef only to realize cows exist. Interested in a book about climate change misconc...
Do you waste energy racing through life?
July 25, 2023 00:40 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBYou see how fast you can get to work, empty your inbox, make it to the meeting, get back from lunch, finish your work, get to the gym, get home, and meal prep so you can have…twenty more minutes than you would have otherwise, to sit on the couch before going to bed. If this sounds familiar, you’ll feel less alone for listening to this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… A wait of indeterminate length will feel longer than a finite wait. Derek Sivers was once struck by ho...
Do you really understand your feelings?
July 18, 2023 01:03 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBEmpathy isn’t walking in someone else’s shoes. It’s listening to people tell their stories, and it’s believing them even when you can’t relate. Human connection is a lot of work, as we talk about in this edition of Doing What Works, and that’s one reason it’s so meaningful. Here are your show notes… Tim Urban has a few thoughts on fatherhood. Atlas of the Heart will help you understand the language of human experience. Doing something narcissistic doesn’t make you a narcissist.
What makes a great story?
July 11, 2023 01:47 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBSomething happens, then something else happens, and then still something else. That’s a series of events, but it isn’t a story. A story has stakes, motivation, gaps between what people expect and what they get. This edition of Doing What Works is a primer on story structure that just might help you live a better story. Here are your show notes… Story, by Robert McKee, is a book about screenwriting. Steven Pressfield is famous for, among other things, inspiring writers. A Million Miles in ...
What’s your version of date night?
July 04, 2023 01:16 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBDarrell and I have date night every morning. We chat before the days descend on us, and in this edition of Doing What Works we explain why that beats the more traditional (and expectation-laden) alternative. Katie talks about what makes a great date in general, and encourages you to enjoy the life-changing magic of your own company. Here are your show notes… How to choose a life partner!
What’s your happy place?
June 27, 2023 00:51 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBAre you feeding your soul enough variety? Are you taking regular breaks from your day job to get out in nature and let yourself be awestruck by that wonder? The ideal hobby will capitalize on skills you wouldn’t otherwise get a chance to use, and in this edition of Doing What Works we’ll inspire you to find it. Here are your show notes… Don’t be intimidated by the word “callings,” suggests the man who wrote the book. Do you commit to the bit?
Do you honor your boundaries?
June 20, 2023 01:38 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBThere’s a wonderful expression that goes something like, “We only touch but in spots.” Better to admit there are certain discussion topics best left off the table for now (and maybe forever) than to threaten the relationship by addressing them. Respecting that limitation is strangely freeing, and Katie and I are Exhibit A in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… Terri Cole is an expert on boundaries. The bystander effect keeps people from helping sometimes. By follow...
Can you ever go home again?
June 13, 2023 00:32 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBYour time is finite, and so is the number of friendships you can maintain. So why go back into your past to rekindle a relationship? Because it might be worth the risk of it not going well, that’s why. We’ll help you assess that risk in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… Once you open a can of worms, the only way to put them back is to use a larger can. “To forget a friend is sad. Not everyone has had a friend.” Not sure whether to get in touch with someone from y...
Do you match your energy to the task?
May 23, 2023 03:11 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBYou’ll probably never look forward to chores, but you’ll look forward to them even less if you wait until you’re tired. We take a break from the standard fare in this edition of Doing What Works to share life hacks -- don’t you hate that phrase? -- that (you guessed it) work. Here are your show notes… Answering 911, by Caroline Burau, will get you thinking about how many words you have at your disposal as the day wears on. If you haven’t tried compartmentalizing -- Katie’s a fan! -- you mi...
Have you had a quarter-life crisis yet?
May 16, 2023 01:05 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBIf you feel like you should have X,Y, and Z going by the time you’re a certain age you’re bound to be disappointed. If you’re anything like Katie, you might head off perceived disappointment on the part of others with self-deprecation. In this edition of Doing What Works we give you permission (not that you need it!) to own a transition, even if there’s nothing particularly unique about it. Here are your show notes… Executive coach Marshall Goldsmith hopes you won’t fall prey to the “I’ll b...
Do you believe in miracles?
May 09, 2023 00:46 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBIf you didn’t catch it the first time we hope you won’t miss it this time, my interview with Katie about the greatest adventure of her life. Thanks for listening to this encore edition of Doing What Works! No show notes this time!
Do you worry too much or just enough?
May 02, 2023 00:25 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MB“Notice I’m tensing up, decide that can’t be good, tense up even more.” If that describes you as perfectly as it does us, you’ll enjoy the line we walk in this edition of Doing What Works. How do you share something important with a worrier that might worry that person more? Here are your show notes… Dumb Ways to Die!
What’s the finish line?
April 24, 2023 22:24 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBHave you ever caught yourself racing through one part of your day in order to get to a supposedly better part? I did that only hours ago, eating a salad. Why was I in such a hurry? Was a mastodon going to sneak up from behind and snatch it away? I mean, really. Slow down, as we suggest in this edition of Doing What Works, or you might miss your life. Here are your show notes… Barbara Sher used to say the passage of time drives you crazy when you know you’re not using it right. Elizabeth Pe...
Do you spend enough time doing nothing?
April 18, 2023 00:59 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBDon’t take your phone into the bathroom with you. Don’t feel like you have to be productive all the time. Make appointments to do nothing and keep them. In this edition of Doing What Works you’ll get more suggestions like these. If you try even one? You may decide doing nothing is a worthwhile way to spend your time. Here are your show notes… The not-so-typical item on Maureen’s bucket list! The Doodle Revolution might inspire you to look at doodling as deep thinking in disguise.
When’s the last time you touched a crab?
April 10, 2023 23:49 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBWhen you micromanage your child’s experience at a science fair or museum visit they’ll learn a lot, but probably not what you hoped. It’s much better to step back and watch the thrill of the unfolding, and we encourage you to keep the “fun” in “functions” in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… Would you like an entertaining discussion of whether schools kill creativity? Why do you call someone crabby when they’re grumpy?
How do you celebrate your 500th date?
April 04, 2023 00:36 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBJust when I thought I knew my daughter, she surprises me -- but not as much as she surprised a recent date. We’re talking party hats, noisemakers, even a certificate that’s signed and dated. Listen to this edition of Doing What Works to find out if there will be date #2 with Date #500. No show notes this time!
Do you experiment with your life?
March 21, 2023 00:21 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBAs a kid, when Katie had difficulty falling asleep, she used to get out from under the covers and move her pillow aside for a few minutes. She found that once she put that bedding back it was easier to revel in the sudden comfort and fall asleep after all. Maureen’s been finishing off her hot showers with blasts of cold water. Get comfortable being uncomfortable, as we suggest in this edition of Doing What Works, and worst case you can be proud of yourself for the reaching. Here are your sho...
Do you have a life strategy?
March 13, 2023 23:42 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBHow much of your life do you attribute to luck? It’s a discussion even our producer, Darrell, couldn’t wait to weigh in on in this edition of Doing What Works! Here are your show notes… How Not to Be Wrong, by Jordan Ellenberg, is a book about the power of mathematical thinking. “I cleaned out my refrigerator and now I can switch careers.” ~ Someone told Gretchen Rubin that, and Gretchen knew exactly what she meant. Brooks Palmer suggests you move something to a different room to see it f...
What locks in a change for good?
March 07, 2023 01:45 - 39 minutes - 36.5 MBOvereating. Apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. Offering advice when you haven’t been invited. Let’s say you break one of those bad habits. How do you make it stick? By thinking of yourself as a new person, that’s how. It’s a gradual process, and we have lots of examples in this edition of Doing What Works. Here are your show notes… Change turns people into someone they aren’t, and we aren’t organized for that. Take great care with the stories you tell yourself about yourself.