Do We Make You Thorny?
44 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 3 years ago - ★★★★★ - 29 ratingsThree friends. Several Contestants. One Championship Belt. Thousands of mentions of Chris Harrison. Join Donny, Matt, and John every week as they ostensibly recap ABC's "The Bachelor" and compete in their own friendship-testing fantasy league. Will you accept this podcast? Please? Come on they need this.
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Episodes
A Very Thorny Finale: Raw and Uncut
November 10, 2020 03:00 - 47 minutes - 32.9 MBAnd so we reach the of our story. But it wouldn't but a Thorny Pod without SOMETHING going wrong. (see bonus video) Thanks for every download, listen and stream. Fear not we shall return anew with more content, streams and videos on topics we actually care about. Hope to see you soon. Matt, John and Donny
Speed Running the Bachelorette: A How to
October 31, 2020 03:00 - 57 minutes - 39.9 MBThis week on Thorny Pod the gang discusses Dale's key strategy for speed running the Bachelorette, HBOMAX and other Bachelor-Adjacent topics. Tune in Wednesdays to watch LIVE on twitch.tv/fl0ralgaming
Do We Make You Thorny? 403 : Keep It TONY!!
October 23, 2020 17:00 - 53 minutes - 36.8 MBThis week on Thorny Pod dates are discussed, demons are buried, Jeff Bridges and John breaks everything. It's another standard week here at Thorny Pod! This episode is dedicated to character actor Jeff Bridges. More specifically, his iconic performances as The Dude and Obadiah Stain. Tune in LIVE Wednesday at twitch.tv/fl0ralgaming
Dazed and Clare-fused with Celebrity Chef Tony "Soup Nuts" Hawk
October 19, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 46.6 MBDo We Make You Thorny 402 The gang avoids talking about The Bad Show and draft our fantasy teams after giving our Limo Highlights! Our good friend and celebrity chef Tony "Soup Nuts" Hawk stops by! Tune in live on Wednesdays at twitch.tv/fl0ralgaming
One Last Ride: No Bullshit This Time
October 13, 2020 14:00 - 47 minutes - 33 MBThe Gang is back and this time with video! Its been a weird 7 months but with Bachelorette(s?) returning, rumors of run away love and replacements we knew we had to take One Last Ride. So come meet our boys, catch up with your hosts and strap in for what is Clare-ly the Most Dramatic Season Yet! Tune in Wednesdays to watch us record live on twitch.tv/fl0ralgaming
SEAL
March 17, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 42.7 MBTHIS WEEK ON THORNY POD!! SEAL stops by for a visit with friends David Bowie and The Riddler. Matt breaks Donny. The fellas discuss the HOT two night finale. The belt changes hands and John forgets the transitions. PS Hey ya'll Donny here! I do apologize for the delay. There was a problem with the initial bounce Friday and the following 48 were pretty buck wild. But the episode is here now and ready to help bring us closer while we "socially distance" ourselves. Stay safe and stay health...
FFVII Preview/Applebee's Mullet Review
March 06, 2020 21:00 - 1 hour - 45.8 MBWe talked about Woman Tell All for mmmmmm half the episode? The other was half was us discussing a video game that Donny is very excited for and a haircut that Matt is very horny for. We don't know what to talk about anymore and it's all thanks to this bad bad season.
Guy Speedle Space
February 28, 2020 16:00 - 1 hour - 48.6 MBThis week, we catch John up after on Fantasy Suites after he was in Nashville (space for some reason). Also, we talk about Seinfeld for a second. JUST A SECOND THOUGH.
BUG. HOUSE.
February 21, 2020 20:00 - 1 hour - 51.7 MBTHIS WEEK ON THORNY POD! Donny beams in on Taco Time. Matt plays the theme song. John is obsessed with Fred Willard. The fellas discuss Tommy Lee Jones, Bug House and the underrated classics Men in Black 1 AND 2. Oh, and uh hometowns are somewhere in there too. All this and MORE
Cwosmo Kwamer
February 07, 2020 19:00 - 1 hour - 52.6 MBWe delve into the murky, murky waters of these last 5 hours of content from the week. What do we have to show for our bravery? Delirium. I'll put it this way, we do the absolute best we can.
Cleveland Rocks: A Lie
January 31, 2020 17:00 - 56 minutes - 38.8 MBLet's cut to the chase. Alayah's back. We're in Cleveland. We talk quite a bit about another reality show during this episode. Energy, morale, and confidence are low. We hope you enjoy listening more than we did watching!
Mama Drama Dust
January 24, 2020 18:00 - 50 minutes - 35 MBWe stand in the aftermath of Champagne Gate, and the division of the house is becoming more apparent. But a house divided cannot stand...which I guess contradicts that whole standing thing that I said earlier. We dissect the drama, and give our first listener league update!
Mozzarella Sticks from the Vine
January 17, 2020 19:00 - 53 minutes - 36.8 MBEpisode 2 is here and we are starting to do a better job of telling the contestants apart. Not a good job, but a better job. We dive into the episode recap, which includes the champagne pop heard around the world.
It's Pilot Season: Ready for Takeoff (Shoot me in the face)
January 10, 2020 17:00 - 1 hour - 48.4 MBLadies and gentlemen, please make sure your seat belts are fastened, your tray tables are in an upright and locked position, and your wine is thoroughly uncorked, because "The Bachelor" is back baby! We recap the long-awaited pilot of Pilot Pete's love journey. We try and make it pretty efficient, but in reality, we're just winging it. Thanks for flying with Thorny Airlines.
Dog Food Eric Cartman
August 06, 2019 12:00 - 51 minutes - 35.1 MBThe "thrilling two-part finale" of The Bachelorette has come and gone, and like the rest of the season, it was incredibly frustrating to watch. We berate Jed a satisfactory amount, talk about our plans in the off-season, and kill any suspense as we crown our fantasy league champion (it's Matt). Thanks for listening!
Doxx Me Daddy
July 26, 2019 20:00 - 41 minutes - 28.3 MBWe break down the Men Tell All from Monday night but regularly go off on tangents about Keanu Reeves in the MCU and Fred Willard in the regular old U. We really earned that "Bachelor Adjacent" honorific in this one.
My Wets!
July 18, 2019 13:00 - 43 minutes - 30.1 MBFantasy Suites are here! We dive into as much recap as possible in this content heavy episode and break down Hannah's approach to all of these boys. Things really hit the fan, and no, that's not a euphemism for doing it in a windmill. We also discover the our very own Egg is a fugitive of the law and should not be approached if you see her.
Starcucks: I Spit on a Hilton (with Sarah Waxberg and Elio Vezza)
July 12, 2019 14:00 - 57 minutes - 39.6 MBHannah has her hometown dates with the four boys and we get exciting cameos from Peter's Handsome Dad, Peter's Handsome Brother, and Shower Jesus (not in any way affiliated with Peter). Also Donny continues to become infinite and Matt's in prison. Elio's Band Gambo: https://gambology.bandcamp.com/ Sarah's Photography: https://www.instagram.com/sarahwaxberg/
Oculus Love Quest
July 05, 2019 13:00 - 50 minutes - 34.6 MBHannah trims the playing field down for hometowns, and we are very excited for Peter and Tyler! We assure you we did not miss anyone. I don't know why you're looking at me like that.. Also, Donny taps in to very exclusive technology he got in prison due to phantom donations. What even is this podcast anymore? Enjoy and give thanks to Shower Jesus!
Literally Concave (with Elesa Marmo)
June 28, 2019 14:00 - 54 minutes - 37.2 MBI cannot believe that I have to write another description with Luke P's name in it. Honestly, this is taxing. Very good singer and even better friend Elesa Marmo is here to help us parse what this season even is, and we catch up with Donny who is very mad at a particular Anime that he refuses to name no matter how many times we goat him. You can check out Elesa's music at the link below or on Apple Music! https://open.spotify.com/search/results/Elesa%20Marmo
Spider Milk
June 21, 2019 13:00 - 41 minutes - 28.3 MBThe hit ABC show, that we have invested a good amount of our valuable time and resources into, decided to mail it in this week. So we thought it was only fair that we did, too! We speed recap the content that we could, and then The Thorny Express (TM) is taking a ride down memory lane as we hold a clip show of our own! You thought we were above that? Seriously?
No Roads to Scotland: A True Underdog Story
June 13, 2019 15:00 - 52 minutes - 35.8 MBThe Thorny Express is pulling back into the station and we're off to join Hannah and her merry band of idiots in Scotland! We do our best to run through these dates at full speed so we can keep talking about how bad Luke P is. Also, Egg forces her anti-camping agenda onto us, and Donny becomes a Maritime Man of Mystery.
Bad Guy Jaw
June 07, 2019 18:00 - 48 minutes - 22.5 MBMatt has a tremendous amount of things going on in his "life," so we decided to board the THORNY EXPRESS BABY!!!! Speed round date recaps, a plethora of mini segments, and plenty of talk about the unhinged Luke P. ALL ABOARD!
"I Kill You Scum" - Frank Sinatra
June 01, 2019 02:00 - 1 hour - 28.3 MBAnother week has gone by, and we're still not any closer to finding any guys that we really like. We do a full episode recap and dive into two villain arcs that can't end soon enough, read some letters from the dead, and talk to our field correspondent/potential hostage (?) Donny.
Michael Basketball Jordan
May 23, 2019 19:00 - 1 hour - 27.6 MBHannah's journey for love continues with a beauty pageant, a roller derby competition, and the presence of the ever-celestial Fred "The Killer" Willard. We also witness the rise of two terrible character arcs at once, play a new mini game, and talk about Matteo's sticky side gig even more than previous conversations. We hope you're happy!
Big D's Classified Ska Revival Guide
May 16, 2019 22:00 - 1 hour - 28.1 MBThe Bachelorette premiere has come and gone and we have a lot to say about it. We break down Hannah's step into the limelight, discuss our new fantasy teams, and Donny improperly uses our beloved Bachelore to ska shame Matt.
IT'S LIST DAY
May 13, 2019 17:00 - 23 minutes - 11.1 MBThe bios of these awful men came out the day after we released our previous episode, so we are back for a very quick run down of our favorites before this dang thing premieres. We break down contestants such as Normal Guy, Roller Boy, Sperm Donor...alright I'll level with you I don't remember their names as I'm typing this. Enjoy!
Jeroma Bahsolo: A Good Star Wars Character
May 09, 2019 16:00 - 48 minutes - 22.2 MBAnd now, back to our regularly scheduled program. The Bachelorette is back on 5/13, and the All-Father Chris Harrison decided to grace us with his presence early. We talk about a content-heavy reunion special from Monday, and dive in to the new cast of characters that will be vying for Hannah B's heart. Disclaimer: They're all pretty bad!
Grey's An Anime 2: Robotech
May 06, 2019 18:00 - 45 minutes - 20.9 MBWe face a more difficult task this week while comparing Grey's and the 1980's big-scary-mech show "Robotech." We also meet up with our very good friends Casey Kasem, Nicole Byer, and the omnipotent KHRYS.
Grey's An Anime 1: Fruits Basket
April 29, 2019 16:00 - 56 minutes - 25.9 MBWe watch the beginning of Grey's Anatomy and the 2001 acid trip Fruits Basket. We draw comparisons and do WAY better than anyone expected, including us.
Grey's An Anime 0: Donny Needs This
April 18, 2019 15:00 - 25 minutes - 11.6 MBSo it's come to this. We are deep diving into some uncharted territory to prove a "point" made by Donny several weeks ago..because he needs this. We talk about the parameters of our study regarding the correlation to ABC's hit medical drama Grey's Anatomy, and literally any anime series. Then we phone conference in with Donny (who needs this) to get his blessing on the experiment. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.
The Red Son
March 29, 2019 04:00 - 51 minutes - 23.5 MBSo we tried to talk about the Hulu special "Can I Steal You For A Second?" and give our much sought after insight. But we kinda ran out of steam halfway through and started talking about other things we're watching on television and then did some pop culture trivia. I don't know what this was, you might not either, but there's a chance you enjoy it!
Big Yikes (with The Marciano Siblings)
March 15, 2019 04:00 - 1 hour - 36.8 MBWell folks, this is it. Colton's final move. Will he choose one of two remaining women, or risk it all for Cassie? Who wins the fantasy championship this season? Who will be the upcoming Bachelorette? We absolutely have the answers to all of these, plus our plans for the off season and the upcoming months. We give you the episode recaps for the two part finale, and continuously get interrupted by Matt's comically large family. Also, John does crime and pays the price. Thank you all for your...
The Best Offense is a Good Gun Fence (with KC "Beef Boi" Abad)
March 08, 2019 05:00 - 1 hour - 31.1 MBMatt's back from Vegas just in time to talk about a really standard episode of The Bachelor. Nothing really out of the ordinary went down. Some kissing, some virgin references...oh yeah, Colton did finally jump the fence and gave us a release that this fan base has been awaiting for weeks, but other than that it was pretty tame. Join us as we dive into Fantasy Suites AND Women Tell All, talk about the bad town, and have our friend KC remind us that it's his word and we are not allowed to use...
O Napkin! My Napkin! (with Cathy "Matt" Rico)
March 01, 2019 05:00 - 1 hour - 34.1 MBSorry for the very long episode, but Hometowns gives us a well of content that we have to completely tap, otherwise it gets all smelly and moldy. Colton meets the families and repeatedly lays it all on the line. How does it go? 2.5/4 dads agree, the dude seems pretty agreeable. A full recap of hometowns, a very close-to-the-heart Bachelore, and John plays the greatest prank on Donny. Grab the GameCube controller, we have some scores to settle.
Chekhov's Garbage Can (with Elio Vezza)
February 22, 2019 05:00 - 1 hour - 32.4 MBOur very dear DIY punk friend Elio came by and watched his first full episode of The Bachelor with us. He hated it! And that's okay! Two things that Elio doesn't hate? Wrestling and Donny. We talk about both more than anyone should. We also recap the show, meet with our favorite egg, and discuss a twitter mom with SOME URGES Y'ALL. Enjoy!
Sir Loin (with KC "Beef Boi" Abad)
February 14, 2019 05:00 - 53 minutes - 24.5 MBColton spent the last two hours of Bachelor canon swiftly and mercilessly reducing the playing field. His reward? Some cryptic foreshadowing and a whole mess of confusion. This thing is primed for a meltdown, and we are HERE. FOR. IT. We break down this massacre of an episode, play a new game where we get to talk about The Barenaked Ladies, and talk to our beefy buddy KC about his experience with the franchise (spoiler alert: not much!)
A Double Cross Double Feature
February 08, 2019 05:00 - 1 hour - 29.5 MBY'all this episode was a DOOZY. A lot happened this week, and we have so much to discuss. Which is why we spend an excessive, unfathomable amount of time talking about Jackie Chan and his perfect stunts. Matt saw a double feature of JC's Police Story movies instead of watching the Bachelor so we bring him up to speed/chastise him for his betrayal. An episode recap, a Bache-lore with a lot of moving parts, and a board game that absolutely does not involve a certain Kung-Fu star. I don't even ...
We Commit Time Crime
February 01, 2019 05:00 - 52 minutes - 24.3 MB*CONTENT WARNING* This episode includes discussions about sexual assault and rape. For those who wish to skip, this conversation takes place between 34:25 to 39:08. Welcome to the beautiful city of Singapore, where the love is plentiful and so are the street bananas. We run through a recap of this week, play another rousing game of "ABC or MTV?", and use the bone pump on John to cure his Time Bends. Also, egg stops by to talk about her new favorite presidential candidate. Oh, Yay?
We Hate Matt Now!
January 25, 2019 05:00 - 51 minutes - 23.8 MBThe fantasy league is heating up, and some of us are doing a little better than others. The competition is fierce, and tensions are definitely more palpable than ever. Basically, Matt scored like infinity points this week and morale is not...great. We give you the weekly recap, weave the tale of an old-fashioned boom mic scandal, and really reminisce about one of the greatest speakers in this show's history. Time for some world class professionality, baby! NOTE: Show recap begins at 21:00.
Cooking Carl's Colton-oscopy
January 18, 2019 05:00 - 57 minutes - 26.3 MBListen, we know you're confused. WHO is Colton? WHY is he The Bachelor? WHAT is a virgin? We give you the whole story up to this point so you can impress your friends at parties. Also maybe consider going to better parties? We give you the full recap of episode 2, remember an MTV classic, and speak to an aspiring poet and very chatty chef about their thoughts on the season so far. Join us, won't you? NOTE: We recorded some stuff before watching the new episode, if you want to skip right to...
Jadzia featuring CruelxPool
January 11, 2019 05:00 - 39 minutes - 18.2 MBAfter being subjected to a three hour, Dick Clark-esque premiere, we felt it necessary to record our thoughts while they were hot and spicy. We recap the first episode of the season, discuss our draft and the performance of our teams, and pay homage to our All-Father Chris Harrison. We also book a hardcore show that we think will DEFINITELY draw some attention. Dive into the cruel pool with us!
Wrestle for the Nut
January 07, 2019 16:00 - 53 minutes - 24.8 MBLooking for a weekly recap of ABC's hit reality drama The Bachelor? Well, sorry, this is NOT the episode for you. But if you want some background on all of the contestants going after Colton's..uhh...inexperienced heart, then look no further! We also give you some rules of our fantasy league and answer some of the hard hitting questions. For example, will Bri keep up her fake Australian accent? How did Colton jump over a fence with such ease? Is Grey's Anatomy an Anime? And for real, why ARE...