Telling the Story of Your Divorce with Steve Friedman

In the midst of difficult life transitions like divorce, it is human nature to reach extreme, self-defeating conclusions: I’m incapable of love! All men are sociopaths! The world is unspeakably cruel! How can we take a closer look at what happened in our relationship and expand the narrative to something a little more nuanced, a little more balanced, a little closer to the truth? One strategy that works is to tell the story of your divorce in writing.

Steve Friedman is the award-winning author of seven books, and his essays on relationships have appeared in anthologies like Modern Love and The Bastard on the Couch. Steve’s work has appeared in a number of national publications, including Esquire, GQ and The Washington Post, and he was the writer of the first Modern Love column in The New York Times. Steve teaches the popular writing course Divorce, Breakups and New Beginnings: Telling Your Story through the organization UNtied.

Today, Steve joins Katherine to discuss how writing helps people make difficult life transitions. He explains how the demands of storytelling impose order in a chaotic world and afford us a more nuanced perspective of divorce. Steve also shares the value of exploring separation in the context of a writing workshop and walks us through some of the exercises he uses to examine a story from different perspectives. Listen in for insight around what Steve has learned about love through teaching and writing about relationships and learn how telling the story of your divorce can help you move forward!

Topics Covered

How writing helps people make difficult life transitions
Using storytelling to impose order in a chaotic situation
Why women are more inclined to take writing classes
The value of exploring divorce in a workshop setting
The ground rules of Steve’s divorce writing workshop
• No judgement
• Accountable for telling truth
Creating space to reach new conclusions with writing
The cathartic nature of journaling through difficult times
Exercises for seeing a narrative from different perspectives
Steve’s surprise at the blame women take on in divorce
The relief that comes from realizing you’re not alone
Why instant chemistry doesn’t ensure a happy marriage
Steve’s insight that no one is the ANSWER for anyone else

Connect with Steve Friedman

Steve’s Website: http://stevefriedman.net/
Books by Steve Friedman: https://www.amazon.com/Steve-Friedman/e/B000AR7YFC?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_11&qid=1559662805&sr=1-11

Connect with Katherine Miller

The Center for Understanding Conflict: http://understandinginconflict.org/
Miller Law Group: https://westchesterfamilylaw.com/
Katherine on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kemiller1
The New Yorker’s Guide to Collaborative Divorce by Katherine Miller: https://www.amazon.com/New-Yorkers-Guide-Collaborative-Divorce/dp/0692496246
Email: [email protected]
Call (914) 738-7765

Resources

The Bastard on the Couch: 27 Men Try Really Hard to Explain Their Feelings About Love, Loss, Fatherhood, and Freedom edited by Daniel Jones: https://www.amazon.com/Bastard-Couch-Explain-Feelings-Fatherhood/dp/0060565357
Modern Love: True and Extraordinary Tales of Desire, Deceit, and Devotion edited by Daniel Jones: https://www.amazon.com/Modern-Love-Extraordinary-Desire-Devotion/dp/0307351041
Modern Love in The New York Times: https://www.nytimes.com/column/modern-love
UNtied: https://untied.net/
UNtied Events: https://untied.net/upcoming-events/
Elise Pettus on Divorce Dialogues EP030: https://divorcedialogues.com/a-community-of-women-navigating-divorce-with-elise-pettus/