Dementia By Day
146 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 83 ratingsRachael Wonderlin tackles common challenges in dementia caregiving and seeks to make everyone a better care partner and professional by promoting education and empathy. Rachael has a Master’s in Gerontology and owns Dementia By Day, a dementia care consulting firm. She is the author of 3 books with Johns Hopkins University Press. You can find her on Instagram @dementiabyday and download her “16 Things I’d Want If I Got Dementia” list from rachaelwonderlin.com
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Episodes
All-Star Episode: How do I convince dad that he has dementia?
February 05, 2023 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on how to convice dad he has dementia, in 2023. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6YlmWGpFbPHeHuayHefNcA?si=ec729d0f0cf643fb
All-Star Episode: What if I say the wrong thing?
January 30, 2023 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17.7 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what if you say the wrong thing, in 2023. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6EtGXt3VpPIoFWqEcZFqU4?si=cc50503d92dc4b73
All-Star Episode: When should I move her into memory care?
January 16, 2023 07:00 - 14 minutes - 19.5 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on when to move her into memory care, in 2023. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2kG9QALP4fmZeFq9BKoYOr?si=62b526718c394d17
All-Star Episode: Why is he having trouble speaking?
January 09, 2023 07:00 - 13 minutes - 18 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on why he is having trouble speaking, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Wk9afwKx2ZBq2CqOR0SsY?si=5ba23b924ddb4e67
All-Star Episode: How can I convince my brother to let us move mom?
January 02, 2023 07:00 - 13 minutes - 19 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on how you can convince your brother to let you move mom, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7CShiPrWg7xm3vcQdMUeMb?si=55fb5ff5ce904948
All-Star Episode: How do I know if I'm getting burned out?
December 28, 2022 23:15 - 13 minutes - 18 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on how to know if you're getting burnt out, in 2023. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3ZuZPMvdMsXLlTuHtG2kOO?si=5a1333da36e946f9
All-Star Episode: How do I tell her that her sister died?
December 26, 2022 07:00 - 12 minutes - 17.4 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on how do you tell her that her sister died?, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7sipwrYaeHcYMPgncnBUdo
All-Star Episode: Improving dementia care with improv
December 19, 2022 07:00 - 17 minutes - 23.8 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on how to improve dementia care with improv, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6POfJrGHDtR23oH20QLbyS?si=aa6cb5c44a6b4fe3
All-Star Episode: Is this a hallucination or a delusion?
December 12, 2022 07:00 - 16 minutes - 22.7 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on if it's a hallucination or a delusion?, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5CAFLNqEnbAaE8J3W5hx2t?si=d045fda32b184b93
All-Star Episode: Is this depression or dementia?!
December 05, 2022 07:00 - 18 minutes - 25.3 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on if it's Depression or Dementia?, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/02lkF22RGAxBW32MYTyDe4?si=b02fb2efe21f4975
All-Star Episode: When they think they're still working
November 28, 2022 07:00 - 16 minutes - 22.6 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what to do when they think they're still working, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6JnaU9amLNS32lm0cOLPZt?si=f822e81ab4944522
All-Star Episode: After the dementia care move: changes, feelings and worries
November 21, 2022 06:00 - 21 minutes - 29.2 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on the changes, feelings and worries after the dementia care move, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6MHoq4jOd5IjiAoUgz447s?si=1eabd418e8bf4dff
All-Star Episode: What ambigious loss is and why you're feeling it
November 14, 2022 06:00 - 19 minutes - 26.3 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what ambiguous loss really is and why it's important to understand that term, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7B7ZyiIXasASgpr5x8aRjr?si=457fbac766204064
All-Star Episode: Activities every care partner needs to know
November 07, 2022 06:00 - 18 minutes - 25.6 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on the activities every care partner needs to know, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5Adel19p1zobAviPhYe9kp?si=a1f237f731854158
All-Star Episode: How my 16 Things poem almost disappeared
October 31, 2022 06:00 - 36 minutes - 49.9 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on how my 16 Things poem almost disappeared. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/29Bpczs4F8h7MYPSFKKX4n?si=6f28362a35ea4c40
All-Star Episode: The 3 questions you need in dementia caregiving
October 24, 2022 06:00 - 15 minutes - 21.4 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what the 3 questions you need to ask in dementia caregiving, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1OGmLJ14bXfsOh2FvxrpOK?si=869d8aa2a97b473a
All-Star Episode: "What is Timeline Confusion™"
October 17, 2022 06:00 - 16 minutes - 22 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what Timeline Confusion™ really is, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Von9LSEFepzXDz3fAgtVQ?si=1f316cdee4934319
All-Star Episode: "What it really means to Embrace Their Reality™"
October 10, 2022 06:00 - 20 minutes - 28.7 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on what it really means to Embrace Their Reality™, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original Episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3jLYiH1rtrjKXWTbxwX9Rw?si=5180132830cb4016
All-Star Episode: "#1 reason a routine is going to save you drama"
October 03, 2022 06:00 - 19 minutes - 26.2 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on the #1 reason a routine will save you some drama, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0gGandwz6bRB3y2ZXWd5Eq
All-Star Episode: "The 3 worst move-ins I've ever seen"
September 26, 2022 06:00 - 17 minutes - 24.4 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on the worst move-ins, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/32OdyMLRFTF52NZ0jUOHHW
All-Star Episode: "When can I go home?"
September 19, 2022 06:00 - 20 minutes - 27.5 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on answering the question of going home, in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1eevWRMMGZ4T8zH1XOo3cF
All-Star Episode: What is mini-reorientation?
September 12, 2022 06:00 - 19 minutes - 26.2 MBHello and welcome to Season 5, the All-Star Season, where I share my favorite episodes from the past...with a fresh take! Stay for the entirety of this episode to catch my take on mini-reorientation in 2022. Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care. Original episode: https://open.spotify.com/episode/55TUmpAZ433bVedZsUipzf
"What do I say when she says she 'wants to go home'?"
February 28, 2022 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14.9 MBHey guys, this is our last episode of season 4! Thank you for joining me on this journey. “Wanting to go home” is a really common phrase for people living with dementia. ‘Home’ is not so much a place as it is a feeling. I’m sure you can relate to this. What we don’t want to do is try to convince a person living with dementia that they are already home. Instead, let’s focus on the ‘what’ behind the feeling. The feeling may be that they don’t feel sure, or that they are scared, and just ne...
"How do I stop her from doing this annoying thing she's doing?"
February 21, 2022 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14.4 MBI had many people reaching out to me on Instagram asking about their loved ones doing different kinds of annoying things. The bottom line is, you may not be able to get them to stop doing these things, at least not completely. Eventually, they will stop doing it, but that would also mean that they have progressed in their dementia. What we can do is try to solve for what the underlying issue is, which is what is causing this person to act this way in the first place? Join me in this ep...
"Why does he sleep so much?"
February 14, 2022 07:00 - 9 minutes - 13.1 MBI hear this one a lot. This is typically indicative of someone advancing in their dementia. It doesn’t necessarily mean that the person is in the late stages of their dementia; it could be a result of a lot of causes. It could also mean that the patient is dealing with some depression or that they are taking some medication that makes them sleepy. Once we rule out the other variables, we do need to consider that their dementia has progressed. We need to be aware of this and not fight it ...
"How do I involve my spouse in our life, even though they have dementia?"
February 07, 2022 07:00 - 10 minutes - 13.7 MBI hear some versions of this question pretty frequently. Having a spouse living with dementia is completely different from having a parent with dementia. The inherent difference in the relationship is what makes it difficult. The biggest challenge is that previously, this person used to make decisions together with you, and now it’s all up to you. So, how do you keep them involved when they really can’t offer too much on a lot of issues? I have a few tips on this, so be sure to tune in a...
"Why is he suddenly incontinent?”
January 31, 2022 07:00 - 9 minutes - 13.3 MBIncontinence is actually a big reason why a care partner may choose to initiate a move to dementia care. Aside from the fact that it’s an embarrassing issue, it can also turn into a big problem because for some care partners, it may begin suddenly. The truth of the matter is, there’s no official timeline for incontinence, so there’s no way of telling when (or if) your loved one will be dealing with this issue. Luckily, more and more adult briefs are becoming normalized in the world of ag...
"How do I convince dad that he has dementia?"
January 24, 2022 07:00 - 9 minutes - 13.5 MBLike I’ve said in past episodes: we can’t convince people living with dementia of anything that’s not in their reality. So, bad news if you are trying to convince them that they have dementia. Here’s my argument – why would you WANT to? Even if you convince them for a couple of hours that they have dementia, what happens the next day? Are you going to re-convince them? If a person has forgotten that they have a disease, why would we want to remind them? This goes for similar reminders, l...
"Where's the 'line' when it comes to 'lying?’ What IS Embracing Their Reality™?"
January 17, 2022 07:00 - 10 minutes - 13.8 MBWhat’s the difference between lying and Embracing their Reality? I keep hearing people using this phrase incorrectly. There are a lot of people who consider themselves experts in dementia care communication and they are still telling everybody the same thing that you’ve been hearing for years: Validation, Redirection, Distraction. And that’s NOT Embracing their Reality™. It’s also not lying when you are doing what’s true for THEM. Stay for the entirety of this episode where I break dow...
"How do I take over finances when they feel they can still do it, even though I know they can’t?"
January 10, 2022 07:00 - 10 minutes - 13.7 MBAs you probably know by now, you are not going to be able to convince the person living with dementia that they are no longer capable of handling their own finances. One of the main things that people will hold on to with all their might is money. No one wants to feel like somebody else is taking control of their financial affairs. But when you are living with dementia and things are being taken away from you, it can be even more overwhelming. Remember, dementia is not an ask-for-permiss...
"What if I say the wrong thing?"
January 03, 2022 07:00 - 10 minutes - 13.9 MB“What if at some point I say something that completely confuses the person living with dementia? Should I really do this Embracing their reality thing, because what if I embrace the wrong reality and then they get upset?” Here’s the real deal: you are 100% going to say something you shouldn’t have said. We’ve all done it. Especially if this person is living with you and you spend a lot of time together. I have a few stories related to this subject, so join me in this episode for some tip...
“How do I know if I’m getting burned out?”
December 27, 2021 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14.1 MBThis is a great question! But, unfortunately, this is a question that most caregivers don’t ask until they are deeply burned out. Sometimes people don’t give themselves enough space and time to take care of their own things. Actually, I used to be that kind of person until I got more serious in hiring other people to help me with my business because I realized that I can’t do everything myself. When it comes to taking care of a person living with dementia, the same thing goes – you can’t...
"But won’t agreeing with their delusions make them sicker?"
December 20, 2021 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14.1 MB‘What if my mom believes something that’s not true, and I keep embracing her reality... won’t that eventually make her more confused?’ You’ve probably already guessed this one, and the answer is NO. There’s no scientific evidence that letting a person believe they are correct will make them worse. In fact, if you are constantly correcting a person about their beliefs, that actually will be a lot worse. Stay for the entirety of the episode for some tips and advice on this issue! Visit...
“When should I move her into memory care?”
December 13, 2021 07:00 - 4 minutes - 5.76 MBI get this question all the time! For starters, I don’t like the term “memory care.” Why? Because not all people living with dementia have issues with their memory. So, how do you know when it’s time? Don’t wait until they tell you it is time, because...they aren’t going to. While there’s no official answer to this question, the truth is that if you are thinking about moving your loved one, it's probably time. I suggest reading my first book, "When Someone You Know is Living in a Dem...
“Why is she having trouble understanding me?”
December 06, 2021 07:00 - 11 minutes - 15.4 MBThis question is more common than you think, and it’s usually related to doing different tasks around the house that we all take for granted, attributing them to annoying chores we have to do. However, for someone living with dementia, these little tasks can actually seem difficult and overwhelming. Why? Well, it’s called task switching. Task switching is the ability to move from one task to another seamlessly – something we do all the time. But for someone with cognitive impairment, t...
“Why is he having trouble speaking?”
November 29, 2021 07:00 - 10 minutes - 14.7 MBThis one usually comes along with, “Is he going to lose his ability to speak altogether?” The answer is, like everything else with dementia…maybe. Aphasia is a communication-related issue that happens when the person loses his ability to communicate verbally. There are different kinds of aphasia and, although it is common in dementia patients, it doesn’t happen to all of them. Join me while I explore this difficult but common scenario, in this brand new episode! Visit https://rachael...
“How can I convince my brother to let us move mom?”
November 22, 2021 07:00 - 11 minutes - 15.3 MBYou may not be in this exact situation, but I can guarantee that there’s someone in your life that is not cool with wanting to transition your loved one living with dementia to a dementia care community. “Don’t you have a caregiver come in a few times? Isn’t that enough?” They are guilting you, but probably not on purpose. They may just be trying to help you go through this situation. But at the end of the day, they are only preventing you from making the right decision that will not only ...
"Why won’t she take a shower?"
November 15, 2021 07:00 - 11 minutes - 16 MBThis is a great question because this issue comes up differently for everybody. I’ve had clients who would get in the shower no problem one day, and the following day, it would be a complete battle to get them to get in the shower! So, why won’t they do these easy tasks that they always used to do? And how can you help them get in the shower in a sensitive way? Listen to this episode and find out! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
"How do we tell him that we sold his house?"
November 08, 2021 07:00 - 12 minutes - 16.9 MBIf you’ve been listening to this podcast for a while, you’ll probably know the answer to this one… YOU DON’T TELL THEM. Your loved one may be pretty attached to that house and to the feeling of home that it holds for them, so you can imagine how traumatic it can be to tell them that you sold that house. Stay for the entirety of this episode for some tips and advice on how to deal with this subject as it will inevitably come up! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in...
"How do I tell her that her sister died?"
November 01, 2021 06:00 - 10 minutes - 15 MBThis is a raw question that I hear pretty often... how do I tell my loved one that somebody in their lives has passed away? The short answer? YOU DON’T. I know you may feel like you have to tell them, but think about it for a second: Is it really a good idea to bring your loved one into that whole situation? Join me while I explore this difficult but common scenario in this brand-new episode! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
"We got him a diagnosis, but what happens next?"
October 25, 2021 06:00 - 12 minutes - 16.6 MBWhat do you do when a loved one has received the diagnosis of dementia? Who and where do you turn to? Honestly, most people figure it out on their own… And if you are listening to this podcast, it’s probably because you are looking for a place to start. Stay for the entirety of the episode for some tips and advice on this issue! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
When will she stop recognizing me?
October 18, 2021 06:00 - 10 minutes - 14.7 MBThis is a question I get asked pretty frequently. Note: If you haven’t listened to last week’s episode about embracing somebody’s reality, I recommend you do; because it all ties together today. Plenty of people go through the entire course of the disease and are able to place all of their loved ones on their timelines – but sometimes, this doesn’t happen. This is where it seems that they “don’t recognize us anymore.” Find out more about the ins and outs of Timeline Confusion™ in today’s...
"I don’t want to lie to him, so what do I say instead?"
October 11, 2021 06:00 - 11 minutes - 16 MBToday we are covering an issue that’s a real challenge for people, even those who have been living with a loved one with dementia for a long time. So, what do you do when someone you are caring for asks a direct question? Do you tell them the truth? Or do you just make something up? My Embrace Their Reality™ approach can really help you answer these questions. Tune in and find out more! Visit https://rachaelwonderlin.com/products/ for more in Dementia Care.
"How do I know if they actually have Dementia?"
October 04, 2021 06:00 - 14 minutes - 19.3 MBWe're back for season 4 of the Dementia By Day podcast! Today, I’m talking all about how to know if the person I’m caring for actually has dementia. It’s a question I get a lot because there’s a lot of conflicting information out there on what dementia really is. Dementia is a group of symptoms that is caused by different types of diseases. However, there are nearly a hundred diseases that can cause dementia – this makes it really hard to diagnose! If your loved one is indeed living wi...
A Low-Drama Dementia Care Transition
February 22, 2021 10:00 - 10 minutes - 14.7 MBThis is my last episode for a bit! I'm switching back to blogging after 3 seasons of audio, so I hope to see you over on my blog come March! In this final episode of season 3, we talk about dementia care transitions. What's it like to bring in a home caregiver? What about moving someone to a care community? What's the difference and how can you make these changes as LOW DRAMA as possible? Use my code DBD10 to get 10% off your purchase at www.alertafamily.com
How to Talk About Talking ABOUT Dementia
February 15, 2021 10:00 - 10 minutes - 14.4 MBHow we talk about a thing defines that thing. When we use words like "fiblets" or "lies" or even, "therapeutic lying," we undermine the good that we're trying to do as dementia care partners. Why does it matter how we talk about dementia communication? Why is tossing out the word "lying" so important to me, even when it has something nice-sounding like "therapy" in front of it? Tune in to find out. Use my code DBD10 on your next purchase from www.alertafamily.com
What is Mini-Reorientation?
February 08, 2021 10:00 - 15 minutes - 20.8 MBJump in to this episode on MINI-REORIENTATION and what that all means. To put it simply, I just made that term up. In fact, I made it up back in season one of my podcast, and in today's episode, I tell you WHY. Learn why it's so important to Embrace Their Reality(TM) instead of leaning on reorientation or other poor nomenclature in dementia caregiving. Check out my sponsor and use the code DBD10 for 10% off at www.alertafamily.com
Improving Dementia Care With Improv
February 01, 2021 10:00 - 14 minutes - 19.7 MBI've been doing improv comedy for over TEN YEARS (woah) and I absolutely love performing. I've also found that my experience doing improv has made me a better dementia care partner: I'm super fast on my feet and able to adjust to someone else's reality with ease, wherever that reality is. Tune in to find out why skills we learn for stage are applicable in dementia care, as well. This is also the first episode recorded in my new audio studio! Thanks to my sponsor, Alerta, who can be foun...
Is That a Hallucination or a Delusion?
January 25, 2021 10:00 - 13 minutes - 18.4 MBHallucinations and Delusions are some of the most difficult situations for families to deal with. People often misconstrue the terms Hallucination and Delusion. On today's podcast I will dissect the difference and guide you on how best to help if a loved one is struggling with one (or both!) Listen for some great insight! My audiobook is a great companion tool to have after this podcast You can purchase it here rachelwonderlin.com/products Be sure to visit my sponsor, Alerta, at www.al...
"I Want to Go Home!" And What to Say Back
January 18, 2021 10:00 - 15 minutes - 21.4 MBIn this episode I revisit another difficult situation in Dementia Caregiving. "I want to go home" is the prefect time to Embrace Their Reality (tm). There are some pretty good do's and don't(s) when dealing with this topic and I will share some of the tricks to getting your loved one though their difficult time. Join me on this journey today! My audiobook is a great companion tool to have after this podcast. You can purchase it here rachaelwonderlin.com/products Be sure to visit my spo...