It's Christmastown
113 episodes - English - Latest episode: 21 days ago - ★★★★★ - 128 ratingsJournalists Jeb Lund and David J. Roth step away from real world anxieties and step into the gentle, cornball, consequence-free world of the Hallmark Channel. Each time, we discuss a different Hallmark original movie—from Christmas cheer, to wedding jitters, to junk-store detectives—and break it down into recognizable components of angels, moms, moppets, sugary foods and themed sweaters, and try to make sense of when the stories veer away from comfort films and land in the uncanny valley. Welcome to a sweet, stilted vision of the world—not an escape from modern life, but a relaxing trip to an alternate universe where everyone is silly, chaste, nice, and mostly doing fine.
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Episodes
131 - Live, Donut, Repeat
April 03, 2024 15:12 - 1 hour - 126 MBMAURA QUINT & CHARLES STAR get trapped going ROUND AND ROUND (2023) with us, but... Shut up, kids, it's the second episode of Hanukkah! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Chag Sameach ... We regret the errors ... It's good! ... Jew Belong meets war ... Good movie crammed into Hallmark, better than Christmas fare ... Crying at The Rock, Actually ... Jade PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-U...
130 - Curated Pilot, Dead Lobstermen
March 22, 2024 05:28 - 1 hour - 97.5 MBMEREDITH CLARK and Jeb travel to CHRISTMAS ISLAND (2023), but... The lighthouse made me so angry ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Attracted to the Menendez Brothers ... Six years of sloth ... Brain-braising movie cred ... "Christmas Neutral" ... Fuck 30 Rock (Geographical) ... "A Christmas Kettling" ... OK glurge, insufficient bonkersocity ... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: C...
129 - The Almost Famous of Brain Cancer
February 23, 2024 18:02 - 1 hour - 92.2 MBWe're checking out cemeteries for when MS. CHRISTMAS COMES TO TOWN (2023), but... You're gonna wanna braise that elf ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Blood tests ... Letters to Santa: 'Are You Dead?' Edition ... New big TV ... Gatorade trauma basketball ... WWI of motion smoothing ... Jobless with SSRI's ... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: College lover, Washington New England ...
128 - Bring the Troops Back to Home Goods
December 22, 2023 18:37 - 1 hour - 109 MBJESSICA RITCHEY supports a HOLIDAY FOR HEROES (2019) because: It's not a movie you watch, it's a pill you take ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Save a Troop Child ... "Dad History" - Michael Jackson ... Jessica: Tubi Magus ... Treat Williams ... Marc Blucas ... Muscle Twink Death ... NCAA athlete ... BDUs, dad bod ... Hallmark Hall of Fame vs. This ... Hallmark's Jehovah's Witness energy ... Home Goods ... S'mores co...
127 - A Gazebo Movie with Christmas Attached
July 12, 2023 07:11 - 1 hour - 99.7 MBGrab a 2x4 for the gazebo, it's A VERY MERRY BRIDESMAID (2021), but... Let's get back to the ugly Christmas sweater bachelor party ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet me at the gazebo ... Sleepytime ... Bright Lights, Big Sweater ... O'Henry ≠ Bierce ... Long trip, short distance ... Self-improvement procrastination ... Christmas Eve/Day weddings/birthdays ... Knifed by your own brother ... PART TWO Join the Patre...
126 - Journal to the Center of the Turf
June 15, 2023 18:42 - 1 hour - 126 MBRYAN NANNI discovers all roads lead to Arli$$, and we're A WINNING TEAM (2023) because: All we see is the goal ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Ryan's podcast samsara ... Rebawatchables ... Lady Frankenstein ... Mary Shelley, Bobby Bonilla ... Ryan's Hallmark expertise ... Brain damage ... Throwback, safety-presentation movie ... Christmas move, Arbor Day ... PART TWO Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challeng...
125 - If You Can Book Her, Joyner
May 16, 2023 16:03 - 1 hour - 106 MBSurprise! It's AN UNEXPECTED CHRISTMAS (2021) and we're still dating! Also, ... This is a bad idea ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Turn on Dave's She-Shed ... Lair, fort, Rodney Dangerfield ... Unprepared! ... "The Single Guy" ... Jackie Joyner-Kersee and Paul Campbell ... Three Wise Men and a Baby ... Christmas Season vs. Baseball Season ... Canadian doo-wop ... Paul Campbell (Screenwriting) Appreciation Station ... Mam...
124 - Dream Cookies, Wine MILFs, Moon Boat
March 30, 2023 22:09 - 1 hour - 95.9 MBWe celebrate A KISMET CHRISTMAS (2022) with one dose of cookies and realize ... When the ingenues need help, they make one call: La Chabert ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Jeb's at the Strawberry Festival ... Simultaneous Strep and Covid ... Jazzys in the Entenmann's Event Tent ... We liked it! ... Meta threat ... Parenthood, dud ensemble ... "Hallmark Christmas Blogger Sarah Ramos" ... Aware, but not kidding ... Fun ham...
123 - Faeries, Dr. Weir, Things of That Nature
March 03, 2023 05:22 - 1 hour - 112 MBWe take A FABLED HOLIDAY (2022) out of time, and we apologize: No one's claiming the rights ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Play that glissando! ... Holiday recap: Hatchet accident, child custody, punting to Queens ... "Hanukkah on Rye" update ... A year of Countdown to Christmas Countdown ... Decompensating via Christmas nostalgia ... Who are your guys? ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO ...
122 - A Pumpkin for Klendathu
December 16, 2022 08:58 - 1 hour - 97 MBIt's PUMPKIN EVERYTHING (2022), and we'll never pass up a good thing. Radio by seniors, for seniors ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Bug planet! ... Michael Ironside Appreciation Station ... Extremely weird, way too real ... Dead malls, pizza chains ... Repetitive love arc. vs. elder mortality and AA ... A rom-som template on real vulnerability ... Bruce Arians ... Our aging [step]parents[-in-law], aging and driving ...
121 - Assault on the Waist Rising
November 23, 2022 22:53 - 1 hour - 121 MBCASEY JOHNSTON'S making us stretch before WARMING UP TO YOU (2021), but we're willing to reconsider if: We want to buy that "Congrats on finding a floater" card ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Toilet drop ... Meet Casey! ... Love your work, and I'm not heeding it ... Renamed movie ... Grew up in Hallmark stores ... Teen money ... Haunted by figurines ... Work at Hallmark ... Work at the Gap ... Gift wrap ... Year-ro...
120 - A Floating Meatball of Barbarism
October 20, 2022 15:21 - 1 hour - 128 MBJONATHAN KATZ and SAM ADLER-BELL sail into history aboard the USS Christmas (2020), but first: Let's go get hot chocolate! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet Jon, Sam, Sam's grandma and Jon's mom! ... Happy story, death machine ... Cast Rundown ... Niven ... The Dual Expositional Challenge ... Was this fun? ... Can't think past the meatball ... Bald evangelism ... Cool planes ... Hanoi Hilton ... Ruin movies with college ...
119 - Play Dates with the Pun Patrol
October 05, 2022 17:23 - 1 hour - 106 MBWe started DATING THE DELANEYS (2022), but: Do you know how loud jai alai is? ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE Wink! ... Wine Clown (taupe) ... Rom-rom, with jokes ... Jennifer Barrow Appreciation Station ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO Cast Rundown ... McNamara nostalgia ... Restorative justice for Brendan Zub ... Manderson Mode ... The Expositional Challenge ... A horn of a sort ......
118 - Rabbit Forensics with the Yaaas Droids
August 29, 2022 23:12 - 1 hour - 117 MBUproxx's VINCE MANCINI gave us a buzz to talk CUT, COLOR, MURDER (2022), but: Forensics can wait for the pageant ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ... PART ONE All things seamy, guest starring Sutton Niekro ... Sopranos vs. Hallmark podcasting ... Vince's Hallmark bona fides ... Gilmore Girls comp ... Muted romance, many speakers ... Lego/cigarette Canadian ... More Karpluk! ... Cast Rundown ... Jeb Flubs Name of Brendon Zub ... T...
117 - Law Dog’s Dog Law and Bear Claw Law Pod
August 18, 2022 18:03 - 1 hour - 114 MBCHARLES STAR is remanded to WALKING THE DOG (2017) and arguing public-use law via: Circuit court bingo (wait for applause) ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Free legal advice! ... Reporters who don't vote ... Best lawed plans ... Pet adoption kickbacks ... Blue-collar and moppet dogs ... Cast Rundown ... Unsolicited AARP discount ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Dog fostering, condos and a nature preserve, ...
116 - Christmas Cocoa with Coach Cuckoo
July 01, 2022 09:08 - 1 hour - 105 MBANDY LEVY comes out of retirement and needs A CHEERFUL CHRISTMAS with THE CHRISTMAS COACH (2022), all that plus: Highlights and analysis from Cousin Peter. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE The New Abnormal, an unserious podcast ... Pink Slime Concentrate Christmas ... Treacly AND bland ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up ... Evading all tension ... Rent snowmaker, get eggnog ... Spot the Angel: A ...
115 - Hallmark Is the Dog Chained to Its Spontaneity
June 20, 2022 04:07 - 1 hour - 130 MBPAT BLANCHFIELD puts the death drive on autopilot to consider (with) us THE PERFECT PAIRING (2022), plus: It's no big deal, it's just amnesia! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Meet Pat Blanchfield! ... CGI soufflé ... Concussed? Take two Sauternes and one nap ... Pat's Brechtian cockfight Hallmark prom night ... Nordstrom piano ... There's a harp ... It's exploitably efficacious! ... Scrambled entertainment ... Cocoa in my T...
114 - Four Weddings and a Sour Bro
May 20, 2022 00:28 - 1 hour - 99.3 MBWe're carbo-loading for a WEDDING EVERY WEEKEND (2020) but we're breaking down on the: The Smelts-to-Dealts Pipeline … "I'm a sourdough guy" … THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE "Four Weddings and a [Car] Restoration" ... Pure, high-concept Hallmark ... Joel McHale + Weezer = Joel Campbell ... Recalling Episode 019 - The Quotable Gus Van Houten ... Cast Rundown ... Sara Kate fan service ... Signed, Sealed, Delivered Appreciati...
113 - Fart Butler, False Consciousness
March 13, 2022 07:50 - 1 hour - 131 MBThe Daily Beast's ASAWIN SUEBSAENG joins us to observe BUTLERS IN LOVE (2022) and ask: Did you hear when the butt went "Bwaammp"? THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Violating dibs ... A Desperate Housewives thing ... Go to bed, Ryan Murphy ... Did the nerds hear about this movie? Break: "Clue, Main Theme" by John Morris PART TWO Cast Rundown ... Only seven years older ... The Expositional Challenge ... Let's spoilers! ...
112 - Sketchy Santa's Sliding Doors
February 01, 2022 22:28 - 1 hour - 111 MBWriter/activist MAURA QUINT returns for A KISS BEFORE CHRISTMAS (2021), to learn: Wishmaster-ass Santa Claus ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE A singular Countdown to Christmas Countdown ... Welcome to Nog Chat ... The Jewish BS starts early ... Whoopie Pies, Whippy Dip ... Is nog a prank? ... Christmas is a dare festival ... More nog ... Kefir interlude ... Nog shots ... Christmas at Cartwright's (episode 004) callback ....
111 - Irish Loaf Mode on the Mulch Oaf
December 10, 2021 15:46 - 1 hour - 120 MBZACK HANDLEN of the AV Club (and more) joins us, AS LUCK WOULD HAVE IT (2021), to learn: This is our job, and we're doing our job ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE The Irish BS starts early ... All foreign accents are the same ... Lavish Zack intro ... Defending "Pusher" ... Trusting reviewers ... Angry Walking Dead fans ... Needing an urgency vibe with nuance-disregard chaser ... Hallmark bona fides: mom vibes ... Tenzin...
110 - Thanksgiving 2021, Part II: The Turkey Bowl
November 25, 2021 07:20 - 1 hour - 93.3 MBWILL LEITCH spikes this show into THE TURKEY BOWL (2019) and gets us community service watching: The Barry Switzer Showcase ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Not a baking mystery ... It's not it! ... Too many penises and butts within two minutes ... A solid forever runtime ... A tame Old School, a risqué Hallmark ... No darkness or cruelty ... Following Hallmark homecoming plot beats ... More enjoyable than Red Notice ... ...
109 - Thanksgiving 2021, Part I: Fever Dream with Will Leitch
November 24, 2021 17:50 - 50 minutes - 69.7 MBTEASER: Thanksgiving, 2031: A Reckoning Everyone's not murdered, and nothing is magnetic ... THEME: "Dead Man's Party," by Oingo Boingo PART ONE: All Our Troubles Are Gone Welcome back to Will Leitch ... No plugs ... Vaccinated child blood ... Mask affinity ... Can there be a pandemic off-ramp? ... Torn pandemic bicep ... You just have a bad body now ... Without shared struggle, there is no shared victory ... We can't personally police anybody ... A segregated society ... Disproporti...
108 - The Wine Clown and the Disappearing Children
October 19, 2021 22:14 - 1 hour - 92.6 MBWe get looped into a TIMELESS LOVE (2019) and forget our kids to: Find out what your mom's coffin would be like! THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Flexing some podcast muscles ... Embarrassing personal life statement ... Accidentally watching Candace Cameron movies ... Spousal and child loss is upsetting ... Maudlin/Frothy knob ... Effective sadness ... Convoluted production history ... "Warning: Real life contains tragedy" .....
107 - It's Rom-Som Time: Everybody Get Amish!
October 08, 2021 00:15 - 1 hour - 96.9 MBWe FOLLOW OUR HEART (2020) to Mountain View, Arkansas and: It's good to not be entertained ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE We're back! We're back! ... Workin' pieless before vacation ... Is this a mystery? ... Malick-inflected TV Amish ... Enough that Pie Would Remark On It ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Staggering failure, lushly plotless ... Trip Report: Mountain View, Arkansas ... The Amish will ...
106 - Inchon Landing on the War on Christmas
August 10, 2021 14:29 - 1 hour - 84.6 MBSARA KATE WILKINSON takes us CRASHING THROUGH THE SNOW (2021) and: We kept the shirt on, and we liked it ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Kasem intro ... You get $20, but we never speak again ... The Edge ... "Back to normal and fine" ... A five-tool movie ... Cast rundown: Todd Burpo's doctor and Canadian treasures ... The Expositional Challenge ... Cheap air-horn ... Three notes, and a relaxed attitude toward work ... ...
105 - A Bi Bagel Risk
July 28, 2021 21:08 - 1 hour - 103 MBSARAH D. BUNTING joins BRANDI BROWN to solve CROSSWORD MYSTERIES: A PUZZLE TO DIE FOR (2019), starting with: A getting-to-be-so-driven exercise ... Don't look at the NY Magazine's art critic's life ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Other podcasts ... Welcome, Brandi and Sarah D. B-b-b-b-bunting ... The ironic-to-sincere Bosch process ... Amazon Original Series Bosch ... Haunted by Brandy (the boy is hers) and not snitchin...
104 - Hitting on the Pineapplebee's Hostess
July 07, 2021 23:43 - 1 hour - 108 MBNPR's LINDA HOLMES joins TARA ARIANO in saying YOU HAD ME AT ALOHA (2021) and: Pick up the phone and pod. What's so difficult? Just pick up the phone and pod. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE The GOAT Lady ... Linda's Hallmark cred ... Jack Wagner Appreciation Station ... Expanding the Hallmark humane universe ... Kissing and plastic wrap ... Bad video copy or prequel-level CGI? ... Callback to _____ Mariah Carey's episode ....
103 - Have You Thought About Fear
June 29, 2021 19:08 - 1 hour - 102 MBMAURA QUINT returns and we DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART (2021) for: Editing IMDB to include more scared priests ... THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Welcome back Maura ... Flip this host ... No song ... Noom brainwashing ... "Advantage Monthly" ... New York Sports Club Magazine ... You were going to be kidnapped ... Reviewing Ohio community theater ... Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO Cast Rundown ......
102 - Everybody's All Liotta
June 11, 2021 15:25 - 1 hour - 101 MBWe're adding A DASH OF LOVE (2017) and: We're going to pass on the rolls. THEME: THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel ... Brendan Penny heat check ... Barely a movie ... Wasted Gilpin ... Previously a book? ... Ecce Homo ... Real-movie themes ... Too false, weird and murky ... Cast Rundown ... Ben Wilkinson maxing out the Liotta ... The Expositional Challenge ... Nikki-Paul cassoulet m...
101 - Cranpagne Wishes and Moxie Dreams
May 18, 2021 23:36 - 1 hour - 90.5 MBWe're the next big thing, and we're in the BEVERLY HILLS WEDDING (2021) and: We had to cancel the Beverly Hills wedding. THEME: "The Rockford Files," by Mike Post PART ONE Dave is baking evasive ... THE Beverly Hills wedding ... Dan Smith, BYU ... Edited by Valentine's, 2022 ... Go balls out ... Cast rundown, callbacks and The Hume Cronins ... The Expositional Challenge ... False twist expectation ... Lame excuses! ... Less charming hermeticism ... Covid makes Hallmark make sense .....
100 - Rich Problems for Bog People
April 30, 2021 22:46 - 1 hour - 114 MBSARA KATE WILKINSON and MAURA QUINT ice over CRANBERRY CHRISTMAS (2020) and: Gabe had to go live on the cranberry farm THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE We bought the farm! ... Meet Maura ... Losing your Hallmark virginity ... A manifestation of a sick society ... The Don Jr. Face Spectrum ... Canadian cocaine ... Children shouldn't ice skate Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood PART TWO Cast rundown ... The Expo...
099 - Accidentally Racist in Chet's Galaxy
March 22, 2021 16:14 - 1 hour - 105 MBWe speak to the dead for A NASHVILLE CHRISTMAS CAROL (2020) and: We are doing this cold open live ... The Francesa Voice ... Four letters, starts with D THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Buster Poindexter ... Show business ... Terry Benedict's podcast ... The Elliot Gould of this podcast ... Podcast crisis hotline ... Defenseless before Hallmark vibes ... Country musician cats, prehabilitated Scrooge Break: Original music b...
098 - Buckley's Big Naturals (but Not in Excess)
January 25, 2021 20:50 - 1 hour - 93.6 MBWe get handsome and competent with THE CHRISTMAS HOUSE (2020) and: Treat Williams is not in The Substitute ... It's natural and OK to talk about Treat Williams ... Wrong movie ... Daybrooding ... Sniper THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Handsome Podcast ... Whaddaya want, it's good ... Podcast business ... The shortcomings of "Dave and Jeb Aren't Mean" ... IT'S FINE!!! DO NOTHING!!! ... Countdown to Christmas Countdown ... Cas...
097 - Can Steal Art, Can't Tend Bar
December 10, 2020 00:23 - 1 hour - 110 MBBRANDI BROWN joins us for GARAGE SALE MYSTERY: THE ART OF MURDER (2017) and: A message about our namechange. THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather PART ONE Let's cancel! ... First, dead family, THEN pandemic ... April 13, 2019 ... Kill your computer ... Grandma troll wants the cusses ... Comic books and Hubert Humphrey Break: "Hubert Humphrey," by The Knuckle Sandwiches PART TWO The Extra Hot Great podcast universe ... Lori Loughlin ...
096 - The Elf-Developer Trust Continuum
December 02, 2020 04:23 - 1 hour - 106 MBTARA ARIANO and SARAH D. BUNTING take a trip to NORTHPOLE (2014) and: Robots, they're just like us ... Classic Tudyk ... THEME ... Joe E. Tata ... Plugs! ... Sequel book ... No Swank ... "Enough" ... Dina Meyer ... Ridgewood, NJ. 07450 ... Pleasantly surprised ... Accidentally in Love ... Paula Abdul's "Itty Bitty Titty Committee" number ... The Mac Rangers ... Wanting to talk about Fastlane ... Tiffany Thiessen's cooking show ... Cast Rundown and The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: ...
095 - Let's Go to Prison!
October 10, 2020 10:05 - 1 hour - 99.5 MBCASEY TAYLOR joins us and SIGNED, SEALED, DELIVERED for THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED (2018) and: A tedious audio warning ... We are going to Pueblo! ... THEME ... Boofed the intro ... Meet Casey Taylor ... Elite Christian postal detectives ... Casey was USPS ... Red flags ... Never be friends with supervisors ... The Signed, Sealed, Delivered universe ... Cast rundown ... Haywith guy or Dorman guy ... The Expositional Challenge: Over the line ... Dave That Failed ... Plot Wrap-Up: Norman and Rita ...
094 - The Ecstasy of Competence
September 11, 2020 22:56 - 1 hour - 102 MBWe're on the ROAD TO CHRISTMAS (2018), we'll take you there, take you there, for: Exploring the space ... Notes from Jasper, LLC ... THEME ... Countdown to Christmas in July Countdown ... Tardiness apology ... ADHD cul-de-sac ... Talent show cringe horror ... Burn down the portrait studio ... L'Allegro and Il Penseroso ... BREAK ... Meet Zac Hug ... Ethical quandaries ... Funny, playful acting and plotting, with real stakes ... Jeb's life story ... The Expositional Challenge: Flex Bomb ... P...
093 - Rain, Negging and Casual Stalkers
August 19, 2020 08:29 - 1 hour - 111 MBJESSIE OPOIEN, CHARLES STAR and SARA KATE WILKINSON return for LOVE IN THE FORECAST (2020) and: Walking the dog ... Enjoying a whiteface Tyler Perry movie ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: City vs. Country, and The Year of Leah ... Conway, AR. ... Problematize the discourse: Charles discovers Hallmark ... Constant condescension vs. Gumpian vibes and daunted by the city vs. Grandpa disdain ... Relationship oppressed ... Unspoken traumatic marriage ... Not a smar...
092 - Bure Factor: Chronicles of the Sex Idiot
August 06, 2020 07:47 - 1 hour - 112 MBSARA KATE WILKINSON helps us get SWITCHED FOR CHRISTMAS (2017), and we rebel at: A dream board! ... Poetry slam Santa ... THEME ... Cry for help ... Enjoyable, not good ... Candace Cameron: Scene partner desperately needed ... Lack of discipline ... BREAK ... Leading Lady Leaderboard update/apology ... Cast rundown ... Inadvisable pandemic/president reference ... The Expositional Challenge ... Classic recap ... Small mop-up: Urban rural binary; clueing in the kids ... Littleton, Colorado ......
091 - The Wedding Lummox
July 14, 2020 20:58 - 1 hour - 102 MBWe run to and from YES, I DO (2018) and put the top down on our Canadian convertible for: Not the gain ... THEME ... Still asymptomatic ... Mostly incorrect Hallmark ingenue stats ... Good Memories from Jessica Lowndes ... A thankless character ... Nostalgic Christmas ... Listen up, urchins! ... Hallmark Ramada filming ... Soothing demeanor ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Chocolate sabotage, live on camera ... A "mild irritation" allergy ... Authentic TV anchor voice ... BREA...
090 - Richie Rich's Parisian Getaway
July 07, 2020 04:53 - 1 hour - 88.1 MBJESSIE OPOIEN returns for PARIS, WINE AND ROMANCE (2019) and: Quality ultimatum ... Episode NINE??? ... Pandemic saved by a dog ... Microwaved hot dog ... Time has no meaning, dinnertime doubly so ... Does this feel "pandemic good"? ... Would endorse ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot mop-up ... This pinot's made in...OREGON CITY??? ... No conflict ... Pairing wine with Hallmark ... Respectable dialogue ... Moderately feminist crushing ... Bulgaria vs. Pregnan...
089 - The 2017 Dodge Grand Caravan
June 20, 2020 22:08 - 1 hour - 115 MBWe wish for no more of THE BIRTHDAY WISH (2017) and instead want: Brian Williams to say "Leonard Cohen" ... The Three Canadians You Meet in Heaven ... THEME ... Governors and Dhalsim ... The city is healing ... Uptight at a Hallmark movie ... Busy for Hallmark ... Happy returns to mediocrity and confirmation bias ... Mackey Sasser and Mickey Tettleton (again) ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot mop-up ... Fun ensemble acting and characters ... Wise producer Bru...
088 - The Bachelor: Hostelry Edition
June 06, 2020 07:12 - 1 hour - 107 MBANDY LEVY returns from finding LOVE IN WINTERLAND (2020) and: Mark Cuban's polycule ... THEME ... The Heartthrob Boyz ... Indoors ... A preview of being old ... ACME products ... Delighted to talk to anyone ... Three incredibly handsome men ... Stevie Ray Vaughn Chat ... Good pandemic distraction ... St. Elmo's Fire ... Less of an escape ... "Myeah-myeah myeah myeah myeah" ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge: Only Andy may win ... Green Book, an incredible movie ... Abs...
087 - Can't Jack Off in the Bubble Hotel
May 13, 2020 19:14 - 1 hour - 98.4 MBWe got the fever, so we're putting LOVE ON ICELAND (2020) and: It's a lot of pressure ... THEME ... Hopelandic ... The minimum amount of movie ... Inheriting a wildlife preserve ... Iceland is the plot ... Not obstructing the scenery ... BREAK ... TV's Andy Levy chat ... Plugz ... Icelandic surnames ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Johann's poly interests; Charlie's choice of career or kisses; Northwestern and Evanston ... Happy Endings abroad ... Old people: the best part of ...
086 - Hallmark 9/11 Origins: Can You Not?
April 29, 2020 21:36 - 1 hour - 133 MBSARA KATE WILKINSON'S empire lies in ruins in the LOVE AND SUNSHINE (2019) and she's: Not buying Winnie Cooper ... THEME ... Deeply irritable ... Letters to Santa: They mentioned 9/11; a long way to get a dog in a house; wrong since Episode 3; can houses burn in Hallmark?; "A Season of Recovery" ... Troops without trauma ... A strange age scale ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... Quaid In Full plug ... Michael Caine in Jaws 4 ... Danica McKellar on podcast probation ... The Expositional Challenge...
085 - Welcome Back to Persimmon Chat
April 17, 2020 07:42 - 1 hour - 105 MBSARA KATE WILKINSON exclaims YOU'RE BACON ME CRAZY (2020) and we choose between: The heart or the sandwich ... THEME ... No! Plans! Til Flag Day! ... Governor-Mayor prank fight ... "Kind of a DUI Guy" ... Jamaican Me Crazy ... Oover ... Donut Go Breaking My Heart ... Zero conflict ... Sara Kate check-in: These are slickly generic now ... A boring misunderstanding of food trucks ... Framed-photo food truck ... Dull, but adult! ... Sous vide chicken breast ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... Olivia...
084 - BadBoy James and the Whole Hardbody Movement
April 05, 2020 20:59 - 1 hour - 102 MBWe find the novel coronavirus A NOVEL ROMANCE (2015) and: Leave the long beat in there ... THEME ... Asymptomatic Patreon pitch ... Bill Mitchell's diarrhea conspiracy ... Worst version of a familiar plot ... Very sneaky, sir ... Tommy Bahama-ass chat look ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... Orphan Black boyfriend ... The Expositional Challenge ... Let's do some addendums ... Jackie Facilitatrix ... A forensic accounting of BadBoy James ... Not Portland, Maine ... A Frankenstein of failed Hallmar...
083 - But Wait, There's Buckley
March 26, 2020 21:10 - 1 hour - 106 MBThere's no quarantine delivery so we shop LOVE IN STORE (2020), and: We're talking about Buckley ... THEME ... Our quarantine drug regimens ... Alcohol's time to shine! ... Toddler elbow drop ... Brandi update ... Can you rewatch this? ... Coach's clipboard ... Hallmark housebroken ... Kinetic directing ... TNT Original Series Leverage ... MST3K Channel ... Almost never fascist ... Just Shoot Me ... Nailing the leitmotif ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot wrap...
082 - Cinco Dublin's Safeway Afternoon
March 18, 2020 07:04 - 1 hour - 101 MBWe commandeer a grocery store because LOVE'S COMPLICATED (2016) for: Tony "Jody" LaRussa ... THEME ... Mustard on the intro ... Let's get unprofessional ... Confirming the Worsening Hallmark Hypothesis ... A cromulent rom-com that got made for Hallmark ... Tie Domi jersey ... Unavoidably Canadian ... Surreality is its own authenticity ... The David Lynch-Errol Morris Continuum ... Precious Chong ... BREAK ... Cast rundown ... Stevedore actors ... The Expositional Challenge: Success! ... A B-...