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David Waldman brings us Friday, and it is about time.

Florida police have arrested a man who sold a “fentanyl-laced powder” to five West Point cadets who bought the powder, overdosed on it, and who knows, might also get in some sort of legal trouble themselves.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is viral on all media with a message of sincerity and truth to the Russian people. Russian soldiers in Ukraine may view the video while they wait for a tow. Russian generals can watch it while a Switchblade locks on their cellphone signal. Donald Trump thought US troops were in Ukraine back in 2017. He probably still does. Trump’s ignorance is almost infinite.

Unvaccinated in the US have another COVID wave to be unconcerned about until their surprise intubation. Senator Ron Johnson considers an OJ Simpson team up to hunt down the culprit. The trucker caravan bravely carries out sorties into downtown DC to fight antifa for parking spots.

How do Russian oligarchs get so darn rich? The old-fashioned way, with lots of dollars.

Clarence Thomas’ worse/better half, Ginni Thomas, admits attending the January 6 insurrection rally, but absolutely nothing else until proven otherwise. North Carolina’s State Bureau of Investigation will investigate allegations of voter fraud against Mark Meadows, only to discover Mark is not black.

How did VA give Biden a 10-point victory, only to see McAuliffe lose by 2 a year later? Common wisdom blamed suburban parents, but new analysis suggests a more complex answer, namely old white people out to control the lives of their enemies. The 2020 Census undercounted Blacks and Latinos, but they still can wield power when organized, wresting away anti-history bigotry from the Indiana legislature. Of course, there are some Hispanics white enough to be racists, and men of all colors ready to be misogynist. An Idaho bill allows a rapist’s family to make a few bucks off the rape, while in Iowa, it’s ok for milk to kill people, but no one can threaten the dairy industry.