A Valid Request

Rashi in the beginning of parshat Vayeshev writes ביקש יעקב לישב בשלווה – Yaakov wanted to live in peace and tranquility. And immediately afterward, his sorrows with Yosef began. Hashem said, It’s not enough that I’m giving the tzaddikim eternal tranquility in the Next World? They want it in this world as well? On the surface level, this statement is very hard to comprehend. We know Hashem created us just to give us, and He wants us to be happy in both this world and the Next. So what's wrong with having tranquility in both worlds? Rabbi Avraham Schlesinger, shlita , explained based on the Maharal in the Megilat Esther, who teaches us the difference between a she’eila and a bakasha . She’eila is when we ask for something as a means to a greater goal, while a bakasha is a request for the end goal itself. To ask for tranquility as a means to serve Hashem better is a great request, and if it’s good for us, Hashem will grant it. But to ask for tranquility just for tranquility’s sake is not a valid request. Here it says ביקש יעקב - this was a bakasha – and that is why Hashem responded the way He did. Of course, Yaakov wanted tranquility to serve Hashem better, but on his very lofty level, if there was even a 0.0001% of that request to experience peace and tranquility for their own sake, he was held accountable for it. The lesson is for us on our level. We want tranquility so that we can focus on Hashem more and that’s a good request, but we have to make sure we’re sincere with it. How can we tell? The midrash on the pasuk in Iyov, מי הקדימני ואשלם , says, Hashem tells us if we want to do a mitzvah badly enough and we do it before we technically have the means to, then Hashem says He is going to give us the ability and the means to perform it going forward. For example, if somebody really wants to give a lot of tzedaka , he needs to prove it first by giving as much tzedaka as he could before he’s blessed with a lot. The midrash gives another example, if someone really wants a child in order to raise the child in the ways of Hashem then if they don’t yet have that ability yet, they should help raise someone else’s child in the ways of Hashem by paying for that child’s Torah education. Our actions can prove if we are really sincere with our requests. A rabbi who heads a shul as well as a yeshiva day school told me, some years back, one of his congregants came into shul one day looking very depressed. He asked the young man what was wrong, to which he replied that the day before he went with his wife to the doctor, and they were told it would be impossible for her to ever have children. She was just turning twenty and they had been married for less than a year. The rabbi told him he had just learned this midrash about if a person really wants a child for the right reasons, they could prove it by paying for another child’s education and then Hashem would give them an opportunity to do it with their own child. He then told the young man there was a child in his school whose parents could not afford to pay for tuition, and asked him if he wanted to sponsor that child. The young man happily made a 12 month payment plan and made the first payment on the spot. It was not too long afterward that he discovered his wife was expecting a baby. And baruch Hashem, today they have six children. On another occasion, a different congregant in this man’s shul came to him saying his wife had five miscarriages in a row after they had one healthy baby. The doctor told them there’s an issue with their genes and the odds of them having a healthy baby with a normal pregnancy were astronomical. The fact that they had one was already a miracle. The rabbi told him of the segula mentioned in the midrash and asked him if he wanted to sponsor a child’s Torah education. At first he was skeptical but then he came back and did it. The next time he and his wife went to the doctor, they were told she was expecting, but since there was no chance that a healthy baby would be born, the doctor told them to terminate the pregnancy. The man went to ask one of the gedolei hador what to do and the rabbi told him to move forward and pray that all will be well. Baruch Hashem, against all odds, a healthy baby was born to them. And then, baruch Hashem, they had another one after that. If we truly want things in this world to serve Hashem better and we are truly sincere about it, then if it's good for us, Hashem will give us that ability and enable us to serve Him the way we hope to.