Episode 47: On Confidence, Ego, Orgasm, & How Good Sex is Like Improv with Stacey Hallal

On today’s episode, Tracey and Cayly are welcoming Stacey Hallal (https://www.curiouscomedy.org/people/staff) to the show. A good friend of Tracey’s, Stacey is also the founder of and current artistic director at Curious Comedy Theater (https://www.curiouscomedy.org/) here in Portland, Oregon.

Tracey and Cayly invited Stacey to the show to share her perspective on dating in your 40s, the challenge of communicating with a sexual partner about sex, and the evolution of one’s sexual identity over multiple decades — including navigating through marriage and divorce.

The specific question around which this conversation revolves is:  Why is it so hard to communicate about sex with a partner?

Buckle up, friends. This dialogue covers everything from confidence in the bedroom to female ejaculation to how to talk about sex with your kids. It’s a good one.

Highlights from this episode:

- Does talking about sex take away the magic of it?

- How do you suggest that somebody do something differently without making them feel like they’re not good enough?

- The confidence it takes to ask for what you want and to communicate around sex

- Communicating about sex in a new relationship

- What percentage of women have orgasm during intercourse?

- On not being passive as a woman during sex and how strong vaginas actually are

- Female ejaculation banned by UK in pornography (https://www.thedailybeast.com/why-has-female-ejaculation-been-banned-in-british-porn)

- This Film is Not Yet Rated (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493459/) and female pleasure in movies

- Approaching sex with an attitude of playing an instrument vs. being good or bad at sex

- What we can learn from partnered sex that we can’t learn on our own

- Why we need to communicate with kids about sex and how to help them learn the language

- Stacy’s experience growing up in a home environment that was very open about sex

- How we felt about our parents having sex when we were kids

- Normalizing sex and desire for kids

- Stacy and Tracey’s experience of exploring their sexuality after divorce in their 40s

- The importance of checking your ego at the door when it comes to sex

- How pornography can make you feel insecure sexually

- She Bop (http://www.sheboptheshop.com/about) and the benefits of going to a sex shop with a partner

- A conversation Cayly regrets not having with a past partner and how this led to the break up of their relationship

- Why we’re often afraid to talk about sex with our partners

- On no longer being excited by the chase of someone who isn’t - interested in you

- How feeling shame around your body makes communication about sex more challenging?

- And more!