Episode 19: Can We Have It All?

Can we have it all? Career, relationship, family, other interests? And what are some of the hard decisions we have to make when defining that for ourselves?

Deep breaths before this one, gang.

Because on this episode of Curious & Curiouser, Tracey and Cayly are breaking down the myth that “having it all” is desirable, possible, or even a real thing — at least as our culture likes to define it.

They talk about choosing career over love or motherhood over career or choosing not to have children for the professional freedoms doing so might afford you.

Tracey and Cayly talk openly about some of the hard decisions they have had to make in their own lives up to this point, at times putting career or relationship in the backseat to pursue other passions. They also talk finances (does it matter who makes more money in a partnership?), balance (not a real thing), and the role social media and celebrity play in convincing us we need to have it all in order to be truly successful.

There’s also a fairly entertaining discussion about nice jeans, purses, and, once again, underwear. You’re welcome.

Enjoy this episode, you guys! And leave us a 5-star review in iTunes, if you feel so inclined. We would appreciate it immensely if you did!

Highlights from this episode:

- Is this question only relevant to women or do men face this same struggle?

- What does having it all look like for men and how is this different from what it looks like for women? How do we define having it all?

- What if you cared less and got a B average in everything you do? Can you get an A+ in everything all the time?

- How priorities shift and change our definitions of having it all during different seasons of our lives

- How Cayly felt about her mom going back to school when she was a young kid

- Gender roles in relationships and how that relates to having it all

- Is postponing partnership a valid life choice? How does society judge this choice for both men and women?

- Helen Mirren interview in AARP (http://www.aarp.org/entertainment/movies-for-grownups/info-2016/helen-mirren-celebrity-interview.html)

- Cayly’s periods of intentional singledom, during graduate school specifically

- How choosing not to have children plays into Cayly’s definition of having it all

- Having it all is not a destination

- Does it matter who makes more money in a partnership? How does earning power play into confidence and self image for both men and women?

- Episode 15 with Liz Winters about self-employment (http://organicacupunctureportland.com/curious-curiouser-podcast-episode-15-success-self-employment-with-liz-winters-ntp/)

- Do Tracey and Cayly feel like they have it all right now?

- Social media and why the picture presented to the world doesn’t tell the whole story

- Cheryl Strayed interview:  http://www.vulture.com/2017/01/cheryl-strayed-debt-wild-scratch-interview.html

- Wild by Cheryl Strayed (https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Found-Pacific-Crest-Trail/dp/0307592731/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=)

- Cheryl Strayed on Oprah (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z1O52DRQFQY) (http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Cheryl-Strayed-Interview-with-Oprah-Wild)

- The role of celebrity in our society’s definition of having it all

- Is it ok to not want it all?

- An off-topic rant about nice jeans and underwear

- Choosing to put your career in the backseat to be pregnant and have children, and Tracey’s experience of making this choice in her life

- Article about not being a perfect parent:  Let’s Bring Motherhood Down a Notch by Kristen Welch (http://wearethatfamily.com/2017/07/lets-bring-motherhood-down-a-notch/)

- Dear Sugars ft. Cheryl Strayed and Steve Almond (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-sugars/id950464429?mt=2)

- Ask Polly by Heather Havrilesky (http://nymag.com/tags/ask-polly/)

- How to be a Person in the World:  Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life by Heather Havrilesky (https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Person-World-Paradoxes/dp/0385540396)

- Balance is a Dirty Word. And Other Truths About Being Human on Cayly’s website (http://organicacupunctureportland.com/balance-dirty-word-truths-human/)

- And more!