Copulators Die First artwork

Copulators Die First

75 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 3 years ago - ★★★★★ - 38 ratings

Boo, we give Scream Queens a WHOLE new meaning!

Ash and Nick are life-long friends (and homosexuals) obsessed with horror movies and everything creepy/crazy/cool! Every other week they'll feature a new scary movie that will be examined from their gay perspectives while they read that film to filth! Nothing and no one is safe - especially those horny teenagers! On the off weeks, they'll bring you Paranormal Pansies - a rainbow-colored examination of the macabre and paranormal!

So - grab some popcorn, lock all your doors, and prepare to be entertained! Love, your big, gay uncles! (tongue pop)

Comedy
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Episodes

68: PENIS EXPLOSION!? (The Mortuary Collection, 2019)

November 09, 2020 06:00 - 57 minutes - 52.9 MB

Nick and Ash are back to discuss not only the political status of America (ahhhh!!!), but a fun little diddy of an anthology movie which includes mystery octopus monsters, awkward spousal murder, red eyed, cremated demon children, and most importantly PENIS EXPLOSION! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

67: Zoom Seance (Host, 2020)

October 19, 2020 14:00 - 23 minutes - 21.8 MB

We have a little tidbit of horror here for you where Ash and Nick review the first film shot during the COVID Pandemic. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

66: Evil Home Owners Association (Spiral, 2019)

October 12, 2020 07:00 - 59 minutes - 55.2 MB

Ash and Nick are back! Finally! With Spooky Season already well underway, they catch up and dive into a new episode about a new Shudder Original for your hearing pleasure. (Not sponsored by Shudder, but hit us up BBs!) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

65: Just A Bunch Of Massholes (Session 9, 2001)

August 10, 2020 13:35 - 1 hour - 81.3 MB

The boo crew is back and discussing Session 9! Ash & Nick have an impromptu but completely necessary therapy session, they reminisce on life before the pandemic, and they wonder - truly wonder - if Chinese food is any good in the greater Massachusetts area. All this and more on this week's episode of CDF!  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

64: Space Hellraiser (Event Horizon, 1997)

July 20, 2020 09:00 - 1 hour - 68 MB

The Ghouls are back discussing 1997's weird time in space - Event Horizon. It's like Hellraiser, but in space! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

63: Backyard Bunghole (The Gate, 1987)

July 06, 2020 08:00 - 1 hour - 53.6 MB

Nick and Ash are back with their first film in a long time! Be gentle, they're trying. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

62: Just Checking In

June 22, 2020 06:00 - 1 hour - 56.5 MB

Hi Pumpkins, We're back with an update episode during these stressful times. No movie, just an important conversation. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

61: What is Even Reality? (Cabin Fever, 2002)

June 01, 2020 08:00 - 57 minutes - 45.6 MB

Nick and Ash have crawled out of their respective holes to take down Eli Roth's Cabin Fever.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

60: The Black Plague

April 27, 2020 05:00 - 50 minutes - 39.8 MB

Welcome back to Paranormal Pansies! Is Coronavirus this generation’s Black Plague? Perhaps. Let’s discuss. Nick and Ash get down to the nitty-gritty-icky-sicky science and history of The Black Plague. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

59: What Day Is It? (Tourist Trap, 1979)

April 20, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 64.9 MB

Ash and Nick take a trip down “vintage highway” and address what they feel is arguably the original “gayest film ever made.” --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

58: Weird NJ

April 06, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 48.7 MB

Hey Pumpkins, Sorry for the short hiatus but things have been CRAZY over here at CDF. Big news: Paranormal Pansies is coming over to CDF as a permanent biweekly rainbow-colored paranormal fixture. This week, listen in to the latest Paranormal Pansies topic! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

57: The Witching Hour (Ft. Bree NicGarran)

March 23, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 47.9 MB

In these unprecedented times, we have a very special guest episode for you! This week, we sit down with real-life Witch and all-around lovely human, Bree NicGarran! We tackle two of our favorite witchy films, The Craft (again!) and Practical Magic with tangents galore! We love our favorite Witchy Woman :) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

56: Wendy's For Breakfast (Cabin In The Woods, 2011)

March 09, 2020 05:00 - 1 hour - 75.9 MB

You requested it, and we listened! Nick and Ash take a stab at one of their all time favorite campfests! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

55: A Real Judy Talk (Dolls, 1987) feat. Caleb from Horror Soup Podcast!

February 24, 2020 06:00 - 1 hour - 65.3 MB

Caleb from Horror Soup Podcast is in the audio lab with us this week discussing his pick, Dolls! We’re talking about Judy and her night of toy terror with some good Judy’s! Judy’s talking Judy! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

54: Human Pudding (Hellraiser, 1987)

February 03, 2020 06:00 - 1 hour - 70.4 MB

Finally! A movie Ash really, really, REALLY hates! That’s all. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

53: Death Drop Gorgeous! (Spookies, 1986)

January 20, 2020 10:00 - 1 hour - 73.2 MB

For this VERY special episode of CDF, we hang out with our new best friends - the men behind the upcoming film Death Drop Gorgeous! We discuss their movie, all of the spooky gay things it will deliver (drag queens and death!), and then we all share our favorite things about a movie that was one of their inspirations, Spookies! We’re super excited about this one, pumpkins! And go follow @deathdropgorgeous on all the things!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/s...

What Is This Gay Shit?

January 13, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 51.2 MB

OMG, Pumpkins! It’s the first official episode of Paranormal Pansies! Ash takes a dive into the history and inner workings of Ouija boards! Nick is scared of them. Find Paranormal Pansies on Instagram @paranormalpansiespod and on all podcast platforms! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

52: Ham Good (The Exorcist, 1973)

January 06, 2020 12:00 - 1 hour - 68.9 MB

HAPPY 1st BIRTHDAY TO US, PUMPKINS! That’s right, it’s CDF’s 1 year pod-iversary, and we thought the only way to properly celebrate was to cover the other movie we discussed in our first episode - The Exorcist! It’s one of our all-time favorite spooks, and Ash’s number 1! We do some good old deep-diving, we go off on tangents, there’s a few good Judy talks, and we reflect and reminisce on our first year as podcasters. Welcome to CDF’s Exorcist Extravaganza, everyone! Thanks to all our listene...

CDF 51: I Can Feel All My Pores (New Year’s Evil, 1980)

December 30, 2019 12:00 - 41 minutes - 42.2 MB

Happy New Year, Pumpkins! Let’s ring in 2020 with the last CDF episode of the decade! May we be able to leave husbands with no background checks, sub-par police work, harsh blush, and emotionally disturbed children with mommy issues in 2019! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 50: Weird Christmas (Santa's Slay, 2005)

December 23, 2019 12:00 - 33 minutes - 28.1 MB

Christmas is here, Pumpkins! Welcome to the first ever Copulators Die First Christmas Episode! Naturally, things aren’t completely merry and bright... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 49: Is That What We Just Watched? (Gingerdead Man, 2005)

December 16, 2019 12:00 - 45 minutes - 37.4 MB

Pumpkins, the title speaks for itself. This week was a real doozy of a film for Nick and Ash.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 48: Something's Wrong With Nana (The Visit, 2015)

December 09, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 73.6 MB

What else says “Holiday Cheer” like spending time with your estranged grandparents while your mom goes on a booze cruise? Let’s up the ante - Pop Pop has a dirty diaper collection and Nana might be possessed by little lake aliens? Oh, and let’s make it extra spicy - these aren't your grandparents at all! Tune in for a fun discussion and some very special announcements!!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 47: Consumerism & Lasers (Chopping Mall, 1986)

December 02, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 59.9 MB

The holiday season is in full swing, and what better way could Ash and Nick (with special guest Sarah!) get in the spirit than discussing the horrors of Black Friday, on an episode that drops on Cyber Monday? Consumerism, man. What an ugly beast. Sarah requested we cover Chopping Mall, and this little ditty fits in perfectly with our it’s better to give than to receive story line! Malls in the 80’s - monuments to our greed. Only 3 robotic trash cans - the Killbots - can teach us a lesson! --...

CDF 46: Kill The Turkey (Thankskilling, 2009)

November 25, 2019 12:00 - 55 minutes - 44.2 MB

Join Nick and Ash for their first ever Thanksgiving special! Problematic film aside, dig in and enjoy the content! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 45: Ring My Bell (The Autopsy of Jane Doe, 2016)

November 18, 2019 12:00 - 48 minutes - 39.2 MB

Nick and Ash cut right to the chase with this one. It’s a special night radio version of CDF, and they’ve got no time to waste and no shits to give. Who would you Boink, Marry, Kill if your choices are a 300 year old witch, a cat, or a boring old dude in a sweater? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 44: Uncomfortable Film (Orphan, 2009)

November 11, 2019 12:00 - 1 hour - 61.1 MB

The Gang is back in action after a small hiatus with all new thrills and chills to delight your spooky souls! So, um...Orphan. What an exercise in recognizing red flags. Nick and Ash explore what it means for a film to truly make you uncomfortable down to your very core, because, well, kids are downright creepy. Especially when they aren't actually kids at all... --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

October 31, 2019 11:00 - 5 minutes - 4.66 MB

Hey, pumpkins! Nick here with a few spooky announcements on our high holy day of Halloween! Also, enjoy my self-indulgent antics! :) 4MO2cKE5QCDCl1XknJkR --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 43: The Boogeyman (Halloween, 1978)

October 28, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 50.6 MB

Pumpkins, Nick and Ash did it! For the finale of Homoween 2019, we finally do a full length episode dedicated to the film that started it all for horror fans everywhere - John Carpenter’s Halloween! Nick and Ash try something new as far as format, so stick with em, because good things are coming :) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 42: Always Check Your Candy! (Trick 'r Treat, 2009)

October 21, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 79.3 MB

On this third week of Homoween, Ash and Nick take a look at one of their absolute favorite movies of all time - horror or not! Nick does his best to give the performance of a lifetime as he dramatically reads the IMDB synopsis (with tangents and opinions inserted occasionally - duh). He's available for all types of voice over work - commercials, important announcements, Moviefone guy replacement, sassy GPS voice, etc.! In addition to that, we have a super special TREAT in store for you, pump...

CDF 41: Is She Dead? (Haunt, 2019)

October 14, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 84.4 MB

It’s our first listeners choice episode! By a landslide, Nick and Ash are trying something different and reviewing a horror movie that’s brand new for this Homoween season! Listen in as your favorite hosts breakdown Eli Roth's newest scare-fest! It’s not great, but it’s good - which is a compliment for horror movies. With tangents galore, and an extra special surprise for Nick, this is NOT one to miss! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/...

CDF 40: Hocum Pokem (Hocus Pocus, 1993)

October 07, 2019 11:00 - 2 hours - 103 MB

To officially kick off the Homoween season, Nick and Ash take on the Disney classic Hocus Pocus! It may not technically be a horror movie, but it is definitely the ultimate suburban Halloween, crunchy leaves, which house gives out full candy bars, cozy Fall with chunky sweaters and apple cider movie. And this is definitely our podcast and not yours, and this movie is a house favorite so don’t come for us. So sit back and enjoy as this seasonal classic gets the CDF treatment! --- Send in a ...

CDF 39: Yabbos Everywhere (Elvira: Mistress Of The Dark, 1988)

September 30, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 69.8 MB

Oh, hi! We’re just casually kicking off spooky season with one of our favorite spooky ladies! Listen in - because it’s just the beginning of our favorite time of year! We’re celebrating strong women, discussing the importance of Halloween candy, and anticipating all of the awesome spooks and boos to come for HOMOWEEN! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

Boo-nus Episode 3! The Murder Of Jeannette DePalma and The Watcher House Mystery

September 27, 2019 11:56 - 1 hour - 81.9 MB

Nick and Ash Join Toil And Trouble Podcast for a unique look at mysteries from their home town and surrounding areas. This one is going to be a scream! #spookygirlapproved  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 38: Fact Vs Film: The Mothman Prophecies (2002)

September 23, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 56.5 MB

As we round home base on our Fact Vs Film series for September, we go a different direction with our horror obsession. We’re tackling our first urban legend and the movie inspired by the book, inspired by the legend! That bump in the night? Is there something - SOMEONE - tapping at your window in the dark? Is it the boogeyman or something else entirely? Something...not of this world, perhaps? Look for the red glowing eyes in the middle of the night in West Virginia. They have something to tel...

CDF 37: Fact Vs Film: The Haunting In Connecticut (2009)

September 16, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 52.4 MB

As we enter September, it’s back to school, pumpkins! Time to get our facts straight! All month long we’ll be taking a little fact-finding journey to discover how much liberty the film industry takes when movies are based on true events. This week we dissect The Haunting in Connecticut. 2009 was a magical time for film; but not in this case! Ash puts on their investigative lenses and dives into what kind of creative liberties were taken and what parts of real life were too...unsavory for this...

CDF 36: Fact Vs Film: The Conjuring (Ft Tori from Toil And Trouble Podcast)

September 09, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 72.6 MB

As we enter September, it’s back to school, pumpkins! Time to get our facts straight! All month long we’ll be taking a little fact-finding journey to discover how much liberty the film industry takes when movies are based on true events. Tori from Toil and Trouble is back to help with the research! This week we’ll be comparing The Conjuring to the events that inspired it: the Perron family haunting, the legend of Bathsheba Sherman, and the accounts of Ed & Lorraine Warren. We’re excited! Are ...

BOO-NUS EPISODE #2: Your Hosts with the Most

September 06, 2019 11:00 - 51 minutes - 40.2 MB

Conference time with Nick and Ash! Get to know your hosts just a little better with a quick (not really) Q&A! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 35: 80's Demon Flashdance (The Evil Dead, 1981)

September 02, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 57.1 MB

Campers,  pack your bags because summer camp is officially over! With the bittersweet taste of charred marshmallows and awkward first kisses in our mouths, we say goodbye to this chapter; but not before reading from The Necronomicon with Ash (quite literally) and Nick! Listen here, children: reading is what!? Fundamental! Too bad Ash and his friends didn’t do much of that! On the bright side, what better way to celebrate the last week of camp than with one of the penultimate films regarding a...

CDF 34: I'm A Power Ranger (Zombeavers, 2014)

August 26, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 57.8 MB

Campers, we are nearing the end of the inaugural run of Camp IDontWannaDie! Sit back and relax as Ash and Nick bring you the detailed account of the comically awful, yet delightfully fun, 2014 film Zombeavers! Tangents aplenty, your head counselors (ahem...Nick) get a little carried away by the zombeaver fever! I mean, zom-bear-ver!? C’mon! Be sure to place your vote for the film we’ll be covering in the Camp IDontWannaDie finale, and stay tuned for what’s coming next! It’s almost the end of ...

CDF 33: Vignettes of Terror (Urban Legend, 1998 ft. David Nora Jr.)

August 19, 2019 01:56 - 1 hour - 66.9 MB

Welcome back, pumpkins! This week author David Nora Jr. stops in to discuss his recently released book Slasher Crasher, while also helping Nick and Ash dissect fact from fiction - or LEGEND - in this week's film.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 32: Manos: Hands Down (Manos: The Hands of Fate ft. Toil And Trouble Podcast)

August 14, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 60.5 MB

Join Nick and Ash as they welcome Tori and Meagan from Toil and Trouble Podcast to the Counselor's bunk. Pumpkins,  this week we are diving deep into possibly the worst film ever made, according to Ash, and well, everyone else that was forced to sit down and muscle through this as requested by Tori. Light's out campers, because it's after hours.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

CDF 31: Specific Gay Reference (Plan 9 From Outer Space, 1959)

August 12, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 54.1 MB

Stock footage. Poor editing. Cheesy dialogue. Over-the-top acting. More stock footage. UFO models on strings. Overtly gay character acting. Vampira. What do all these things have in common? They’re key components of the “best worst movie of all time,” Plan 9 from Outer Space! In this week’s installment of horror education at Camp IDontWannaDie your hosts with the most take a look at what could possibly be worse than a high school production of a student-written play called “Dracula meets the ...

30: Kotton Kandy Meat Locker (Killer Klowns From Outer Space, 1988)

August 05, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 56.7 MB

CDF is celebrating its 30th episode already!? We’re Thirty, flirty, and thriving as the kids say! After a brief hiatus, your favorite queers are back! We start with a catch-up sesh before hopping back on the bus to Camp IDontWannaDie. We’re getting personal - we’re talking loss, mental health, and striving to live our best lives. Then, we’re getting super campy! Killer Klowns From Outer Space is on the chopping block as we enter the big top and admit that these Klowns are far more charming th...

Boo-nus Ep. #1: Don't Ingest This (Ft. The Worst Horror Podcast)

August 02, 2019 11:00 - 1 hour - 84.7 MB

In light of recent events, this episode is dedicated to the late Luca Charles, Camp IDONTWANNADIE's beloved mascot. Ash and Nick have decided to release the unaired bonus episode recorded with their good friends and co-counselors Yaz and Kasey of The Worst Horror Podcast! Hang with our Scooby Gang as they dive deep into their respective local lore and much, MUCH more! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

RIP Luca - Taking This Week Off

July 26, 2019 16:29 - 5 minutes - 5.36 MB

Hi everyone, Nick here. My French Bulldog Luca suddenly passed away this week while I was in Ohio visiting Ash. We’ll be taking this week off to heal, but we’ll be back August 5th with a new episode. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

Furries of Fury (Furry Nights, 2016)

July 21, 2019 21:20 - 32 minutes - 27 MB

This film is an Amazon Prime hand-picked...gem? This “so bad it’s good” experience was thrust upon us like a bad trip and congrats! - we’re sharing it with you. Join your favorite homos as they traverse the rocky terrain of this B Horror flick that checks off all of the boxes on the list of things you absolutely shouldn't do while camping. Oh, and there are killer furries too. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/copulatorsdiefirst/message

The Great, Wide Wonkaverse (The Witches, 1990)

July 14, 2019 22:14 - 1 hour - 62.7 MB

Rob from The Pumpkin Spice Podcast is in the studio this week! Well, kind of. Modern technology breaks down geographical communication barriers. Rob and your fearless hosts are helping tear down the 90’s film that seemed to give every little kid nightmares! From opulent wardrobe choices to maniacal, magical world domination, we dissect and reminisce on The Witches! The gang also takes on existential questions about Willy Wonka standing for something way bigger than just a candy monarchy, and ...

Lime Green Jello (Jennifer's Body, 2009)

July 07, 2019 22:44 - 43 minutes - 34.1 MB

Did you ever have that one girl in school that you SWORE was straight out of hell? Well, Jennifer is basically that girl. She’s evil, and not just high school evil. She is literally a succubus. She’s here to tell you all about how boys are dumb, and tear down the patriarchy with her campy one-liners. Nick and Ash never thought they’d worship a demon, but Jennifer and Needy are quite persuasive. Join them as they sing the praises of Diablo Cody’s criminally under-celebrated turn at horror - Je...

Welcome To Camp! (Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter)

July 01, 2019 02:19 - 1 hour - 53.7 MB

Hello Campers! Counselor Death Sprinkles here! Hold onto your bags, because the buses are making no stops and we are going FULL SPEED AHEAD! Nick and Ash are excited for the first week of Camp Idontwannadie and they hope everyone is prepared to talk about this week's film! It’s campy! It takes place at a camp! All we need now are some roasty marshmallows! What's your favorite campfire tale? Maybe one about a dude in a hockey mask that just...won't...DIE? --- Send in a voice message: https:...

We Need To Do Better (Seed of Chucky & The Skin I Live In)

June 24, 2019 03:13 - 1 hour - 72.9 MB

The last week, and subsequently the last episode of Pride Month is upon us, and Nick and Ash reflect on what it truly means to be in an era where representation is done both effectively and responsibly - or when it isn’t. The duo take on not one, but two films this week and read each one in the very first head to head, versus death match. Grab your reading glasses because the library is open. When it comes to our trans brothers and sisters, we can do better. Happy pride, everyone! --- Send...

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