31 | I Can't or I Won't

I'm sure you don't say this but I often hear women say "I Can't".

The other day I was reading this book titled Letting Go by David R. Hawkins. He described this concept of blame beautifully and in a way that I understood. Basically, what he is saying is when we say "I Can't" do something, we are placing the blame on someone else. When we say "I Won't", we are taking responsibility for our decision and how that feels. 

So for example, if a woman has this belief that she can't dance. When you take a deeper look at it, perhaps she CAN dance if she put in the effort. Sometimes it's much easier to blame society, money, time or someone else for her lack of dance skills. She doesn't say "I won't dance" because that would be taking responsibility for her choice of not learning how to dance. She comes up with excuses such as "I can't take lessons. I don't have money for lessons. I have two left feet. What if I fail? Nobody cares if I dance anyway." 

Blaming someone or something else is the easy thing to do. Everyone and their dog has the ability to dance if they truly gave it a shot. It doesn't have to be perfect but the effort has to be there. Often times these women say "I can't" because they have a lack mindset. That's not very empowering.

I suggest this woman says "I won't dance" and see what feelings come up around that. She may have tons of negative emotions around self-worth, confidence or perhaps she just has a lot of fear. FEAR does it's job to keep us safe. Fear comes up all the time. It's this woman's choice whether or not she will let fear rule her life. Fear of failure or fear of success? What will people say if she is a dancer? What will happen if she actually enjoys it? 

You and I both know you cannot grow from your comfort zone. You and I both take full responsibility for our lives, right? I know neither one of us will let fear rule our lives.

Good chat! 

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