Heart Check: The Assuming Heart

The assuming heart is particularly dangerous because of its tendency to scale in damage.

We are too impatient to learn the truthWe are scared to address a disagreementWe are angry about something else (related or unrelated)We are lazy 

Where The Assuming Heart typically gets us into trouble is when we make assumptions about the motivations of others.

Here are three phases of The Assuming Heart that I have seen. Each of them scale in damage, so our goal is to shut down our assumptions as soon as we can.

Phase 1:

The first phase of damage is to you. It erodes your ability to be unified with those around you. When someone makes a decision, you immediately assume that the decision was made with you in mind. 

The most noticeable trait of phase one is that we begin to pull away from others.

Phase 2:

Now the assumptions that are expressed internally begin to show up externally.

Phase 2 is where we begin sowing division between others on the team and become an agent actively working against unity.

Phase 3:

At this point our assumptions have become facts to us. We make decisions to combat what we *think* is happening, and we start damaging relationships.

Phase 3 is where some relationships are significantly enough that they are altered moving forward. Often this is where trust is lost, and the relationship requires healing before it can continue to move forward.

What you are upset about isn’t as important as unity.

When someone else makes a decision, assume unity, not division.

When you assume the worst about people’s motivations, you choosing to make their decisions more important than the unity of the body of Christ.

2. Never trust what anyone says.

I don’t care who it is, if someone shares the opinion of someone else with me, I don’t trust it. I always go to the source. Always.

3. Be patient.

Ultimately, if you aren’t willing to go to someone you are frustrated with, you are actively choosing division over unity.

Proverbs 25:15

Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.

Working relationships can be very hard, but unity of the body of Christ is more important.