Co-Parenting; Your Thrive Guide

Agreement 4 - Always Do Your Best

November 02, 2021 02:00 - 15 minutes - 10.9 MB

Agreement #4: Always Do Your Best “Under any circumstances, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next.” The Fourth Agreement is the action of the first three, enabling them to become habits. It is the agreement that asks you to do just enough, but not too much. Perfection is not the goal .. Doing your best means falling down and getting back up. Ruiz says “If you try too hard to do more than your...

Agreement 3 - Don't Make Assumptions

October 25, 2021 10:00 - 23 minutes - 15.9 MB

Agreement #3: Don’t Make Assumptions “The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth.” — The Four Agreements, Chapter 4 The Third Agreement is similar to the Second Agreement: Don’t take anything personally. We assume our reality is the same as someone else’s reality, so we fit whatever they do or say into how we view the world. We create stories around our reality. As you all are aware, we cannot read another person’s mind and know what they’re thinking, bu...

Agreement 2 - Don't Take Things Personally

October 18, 2021 10:00 - 19 minutes - 13.5 MB

Agreement #2: Don’t Take Anything Personally “Personal importance, or taking things personally, is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about ‘me’.” — The Four Agreements, Chapter 3 Yes, taking things personally is all about ourselves; our ego. We think the world revolves around us and everything people do is specifically targeted to us. How We Personalize Ruiz believes that nothing other people say or do is because of us. It is bec...

Agreement 1 - Be Impeccable with Your Word

October 12, 2021 10:00 - 19 minutes - 13.8 MB

The First Agreement - Be Impeccable With Your Word Why is your word so important? Because, according to Ruiz, it is your power to create. “What you dream, what you feel, and what you really are, will all be manifested through the word.” It’s all connected, and what you say matters. This includes what we say to ourselves as well as what we say to others. Our inner voice is often the most destructive because it draws from our negative core beliefs: I’m not good enough, smart enough, worthy o...

The Four Agreements - October Series

October 04, 2021 10:00 - 24 minutes - 17.1 MB

THE FOUR AGREEMENTS By Don Miguel Ruiz 1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power your word in the direction of truth and love. 2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of your own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless su...

10 Things To Do When Everything is Falling Apart

September 27, 2021 12:00 - 19 minutes - 13.7 MB

1. Take a break/Don’t be afraid to feel it/Write it out - Things have a way of working themselves out and once we lean into “letting go” typically things will work out. If you can write out what you are feeling when the world that's crumbling around you, this excercise will help you refocus and you will have a clearer picture of what's going on. Once you do, you can reassess the situation and figure out the best course of action. 2. Get support - Don't hesitate in asking for help, this mea...

Uplifting our Daughters and Building Self-Esteem

September 20, 2021 11:00 - 22 minutes - 15.7 MB

1. Body Acceptance and modeling positive body image. Mothers have a huge impact on their daughters’ body image. Think about how they will mimic our behaviors, Don’t ask, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” or obsess food or appearance. Things to do: Appreciate all that your body can do. Write down what you love about yourself Beauty is more than skin deep Look at yourself as a whole person Wear clothes that make feel comfort...

Single Parenting in Self Pity

September 14, 2021 11:00 - 27 minutes - 18.9 MB

1. Show Compassion to yourself first Allow yourself to really feel what you are feeling. Be compassionate with yourself just as you would with a friend or your child. Ask for support if you need it. 2. Awareness of the pain of self-pity Feeling sorry for yourself not only creates pain for you but it creates pain for others too. Not many people want to be around you if you are always down. Instead of seeing that as something else to feel hurt about, become aware of the pain you are creat...

Learning to Rely on the "other" Co-Parent

September 06, 2021 17:00 - 20 minutes - 14 MB

Learning to Rely on the "other" Co-Parent”, not an easy thing to do. It is a tough order to depend on the other co-parent especially if there have been trust issues in your past relationship with them. Vincent de Paul is recorded as having asked: “What do you think is most often the cause of our failings in our resolutions? It’s that we depend too much on ourselves, we put trust in our good desires, we rely on our own strength, and that’s the reason we don’t get any good results from the...

What Co-Parenting is Not

July 19, 2021 10:00 - 11 minutes - 7.89 MB

We can sum this up in one word: easy. Co-parenting is not easy. Parenting is already no cakewalk, and when you add in the stress of a raising a child together after a divorce or separation, it’s a situation that can be filled with tension and disagreements. Good communication is the key to a positive co-parenting experience. Putting the sole focus on your children rather than on yourself or your ex is the first step toward ensuring success. Co-parenting is not easy, but it’s worth the ex...

Handling Summertime Squabbles

July 12, 2021 04:00 - 15 minutes - 10.7 MB

Handling Summertime Squabbles Build Team Family Establish a We (versus a Me) mentality. Build a team family mentality. You can have a family cheer and/or a special handshake. You don’t have to go that route, but do look for ways to build your own united front that supports and stands up for one another. Depending on their age, have your children create projects and goals they want to accomplish together: for example, they might hold a mini-garage sale or lemonade stand with proceeds to bu...

Learning to Deal with Common Co-Parenting Issues

July 06, 2021 10:00 - 19 minutes - 13.1 MB

How to Deal With Co-Parenting Issues The Other Parent Dislikes You It can be uncomfortable working with someone who doesn't like you, for the sake of your child, you and your partner in parenting must put your differences aside. Really work on not discussing the situations in front of the children and focus only on your child. Resist getting into disagreements and be firm and follow through with your requests. You Never Agree With Each Other Most people who plan to have a child together...

Guidelines for Parents Dating after Divorce

June 28, 2021 10:00 - 16 minutes - 11.5 MB

1. Reassure, Legitimize and Validate your childrens feelings “No matter their ages, explain (to your children) why you’re dating and that no one will ever replace the other parent,” says Dr. Terri Orbuch, professor at Oakland University, author and family therapist. “Tell them they are your first priority and you’ll always be there for them, no matter who you’re dating.” If kids are resistant or negative, don’t get defensive. Acknowledge feelings, and give extra hugs. 2. No revolving doo...

Choosing to Forgive your Ex

June 21, 2021 13:00 - 21 minutes - 15 MB

Choosing to Forgive your Ex The Book of Forgiving by Desmond and Mpho Tutu. Archbishop Desmond Tutu writes: "Without forgiveness, we remain tethered to the person who harmed us. We are bound with chains of bitterness, tied together, trapped. Until we can forgive the person who harmed us, that person will hold the keys to our happiness; that person will be our jailor. When we forgive the person who harmed us, we take back control of our own fate and our feelings. We become our own liberato...

Creating Healthy Boundaries in Co-Parenting

June 14, 2021 11:00 - 23 minutes - 16.4 MB

Creating Healthy Boundaries in Co-Parenting What are boundaries? A quick summary of the boundaries described by Therapist Aid: Intellectual: Having respect for one another's thoughts and ideas. Emotional: Having respect for one another's feelings. Sexual: Having respect for the limitations and desires between sexual partners. Material: Having respect for one another's material possessions. Time: Having respect for one another's use of time How you determine your boundaries? When you f...

Parenting Your Adult Children

June 01, 2021 11:00 - 27 minutes - 18.7 MB

Parenting Your Adult Children Your diaper-changing, school hustle & bustle and soccer driving days are over. Whether you feel relieved or conflicted about this change, it’s time to embrace your adult child’s independence and enjoy a new phase of parenthood; there are different ways for parenting adult children. Here are some ways to grow a healthy relationship with your adult children. 1. Respect your differences. 2. Share your insight and wisdom (no critizcing). 3. Set and keep bound...

Grateful Living

May 24, 2021 10:00 - 30 minutes - 20.9 MB

In our ever changing lives, it is important that we practice grateful living. What does it mean to practice grateful living? Grateful living is active. It asks us to step into our lives and participate and to cultivate all the possibilities that live on the other side of our busyness. Sunday morning I woke up with feelings of gratitude. Which leads me to my subject for this week and what does it mean to practice grateful living. Step one – Stop – by stopping and listening you cultivate...

Social Media Guidepost for Children and Families

May 17, 2021 01:00 - 16 minutes - 11.4 MB

In this weeks episode we talk about the START method that the organization We Start Now has provided on their website www.westartnow.org and on their instagram @we.start.now. Below is their "Rules of Thumb" method and START method that have helped hundreds of families navigate social media standards and norms. S - START WITH YOURSELF Model healthy tech use for your kids. When studies show the average person checks a smartphone 80 times per day, we need to think about what we are modeling ...

SummerTime Co-Parenting

May 10, 2021 00:00 - 24 minutes - 16.6 MB

1). Share vacation plans as soon as possible – don’t wait until the last minute to discuss with your co-parent what your plans are for the summer. Summers aren’t always predictable especially if you have multiple kids and birthdays, sports schedules, reunions etc. These various schedules will require both parents participating. It is so important for us to work together and having conversations in advance or even setting up a dinner/lunch or coffee time to specifically discuss summer pla...

The Birth of My Motherhood

May 03, 2021 09:00 - 24 minutes - 16.6 MB

With the upcoming mothers day and birth mother day, I was thinking of how complex motherhood can be and how for me personally my relationship with my mother is/was so complicated. It is no surprise that many of us have a complicated range of feelings – gratitude, sadness, grief, joy and anger. As a mother you are either blamed, glamorized or judged critically by your children, family members or the outside world. This judgment leaves little room for the true complexity of our mother as w...

Communication Keys for Co-Parenting

April 26, 2021 03:00 - 24 minutes - 17.1 MB

1) Be polite & civil It's important to remove the emotion when communicating with your co-parent, especially in the beginning when your raw emotions are so new. Set new boundaries and communicate in the same way you want to be communicated with. 2) Keep Communication short & sweet This relationship between you is in the past. Communication should always be about your children and their needs. Simple responses are the best especially in the beginning. 3) No fighting with the kids present...

Discipline & Co-Parenting

April 19, 2021 09:00 - 27 minutes - 19 MB

Strategies to Discipline with your children while Co-Parenting: Talk about the consequences prior to carrying out the discipline: If a discipline issue comes up on a transition day or should be carried out during the other parent's time, you can both agree to talk to one another before the consequence is given. You can make the decision together. Let the consequence wait: You can agree not to give an immedicate consequence. Sometimes the not knowing part is the worse than the actual punis...

Interview with Fiona Kong, Creator of Home Sweet Homes Planner & Journal

April 12, 2021 02:00 - 35 minutes - 24.6 MB

In this weeks’ episode, I interview Fiona Kong, creator of Home Sweet Homes; A Journal and Planner for co-parents & child. Fiona Kong is a single mom of a 4-year-old boy. She is a former analyst, turned entrepreneur after finding a lack of resources and tools available to support children after a separation or divorce. During the pandemic, she created Home Sweet Homes: A journal & planner for co-parents & child. She is passionate about mental health advocacy, sustainable living and is a se...

Interview with Grace Beason

April 05, 2021 03:00 - 1 hour - 44.7 MB

Check out my interview with Grace Beason @iamgracebeason . In our interview she shares her story of growing in a “co-parent household” before we all knew about co-parenting. Grace gives us great advice about how communication with our “children” is so important. She is inspiring, funny and very relatable. Grace is a mindset and empowerment coach. She provides women with empowerment tools and supports them to feel a greater sense of calm. You can check our her website at www.gracebea...

Wholehearted Co-Parenting

March 29, 2021 12:00 - 25 minutes - 17.8 MB

Brene Brown’s 10 Guideposts for Wholehearted Living are as follows: 1. Cultivating Authenticity and Letting Go of What Other People Think 2. Cultivating Self-Compassion and Letting Go of Perfectionism 3. Cultivating Your Resilient Spirit, Letting Go of Numbing and Powerlessness 4. Cultivating Gratitude and Joy, Letting go of Scarcity and Fear of the Dark 5. Cultivating Intuition and Trusting Faith, Letting Go of the Need for Certainty 6. Cultivating Creativity and Letting G...

Bio Mom & Bonus Mom; A Conversation with Jess and Naomi

March 21, 2021 12:00 - 41 minutes - 28.7 MB

In this episode you will hear our conversation with Jessica (Bonus Mom) and Naomi (Bio Mom). Jessica and Naomi have been a part of each others life for over 20 years. We talk about their background and how they first met, how their dynamics have changed over the years. We will hear about their conflicts regarding custody, visitation and money. They will give us insightful and helpful advice for all of us to become better mothers to our children.

Religion and Co-Parenting; Striking a Balance

March 15, 2021 02:00 - 23 minutes - 16.2 MB

Religion & Co-Parenting; Striking a Balance 1. Religious traditions versus Indoctrination This is the difference between sharing your faith with your child and having them participate in certain religious rites of passage (e.g., baptism, confirmation, bar mitzvah). Parents should be allowed to talk to their children about their faith and to share aspects of it with them, but participating in organized rituals should require the consent of both parents unless one parent has sole dec...

How to Co-Parent with a Narcissist

March 08, 2021 12:00 - 21 minutes - 15 MB

This topic is a tough one especially for anyone that has parented with or been in a relationship with a narcissistic person. In determining what topic I would focus one today, I decided to talk about this subject based on feedback from multiple people on Facebook. I want to emphasize that I am not a therapist or counselor but I do have a ton of real world experience that I can share you with you and believe it will be beneficial. Minimize contact Many people that are narcissist love not...

Helping your children cope with financial difficulties

March 01, 2021 13:00 - 21 minutes - 15 MB

The Pandemic, Lay-offs, pay-cuts, foreclosures, and debt are all realities of the world we live in. What we share with our child about our family's financial problems, and the way we share it, can have a profound impact on their ability to process and cope — and even on their financial future. If you or the other co-parent are facing a trying time financially, whether or not you've tried to hide it from your child, they most likely already know. Children are incredibly perceptive and the...

Racism; A conversation with my 10 year old daughter, Part 2

February 15, 2021 11:00 - 35 minutes - 24.5 MB

Many parents, especially white parents may feel uncomfortable about knowing the right way to start a conversation with your children regarding race. Before you decide to have these important conversation with your children you may want to ask yourself a few questions. 1). Do you know and own your own biases? Let your children know and see you acknowledge and face your bias. We’re less likely to pass on the biases we identify and work to overcome. Give your child an example of a bias, ...

Raging Pandemic, Riots and Racism; A Conversation with my 10 year old daughter, Part 1

February 08, 2021 03:00 - 23 minutes - 16.4 MB

A Conversation with my 10 year old on the Raging Pandemic Rioting and Racism. For the past few months I have had so many conversations with my daughter Ava regarding her mental health surrounding the pandemic, the Capitol riots and racism in general. For those of you that don’t know my daughter is bi-racial and so we have been having conversations for years on racism and these conversations have been ongoing in my household, I thought it would good to share with you a portion of my conve...

My Co-Parenting Resolutions for 2021

January 05, 2021 03:00 - 13 minutes - 9.21 MB

In thinking of my resolutions for 2021 and specifically the resolutions of how it relates to co-parenting and how to be a better co-parent, I wanted to share my own resolutions and hope that it serves as a conversation starter or thought provoking for you and your own co-parenting resolutions for 2021. 1). More effective communication – which includes being calm and having clarity. In my own coparenting relationships my goal is when I am negotiating a certain “thing” or schedule that I wa...

Co-Parenting Intentions for 2021

December 14, 2020 09:00 - 16 minutes - 11.1 MB

Co-Parenting Intentions for 2021 Be intentional about my child’s mental health – As a parent it is so important that we be intentional about our child’s mental health as well as our own. Before the pandemic hit, mental health issues such as depression and anxiety were rising in children 6-17 according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Children are feeling deflated and lack of connectedness. Give yourself and your children permission to rest, restore, reset and relax. Ke...

Single Parenting on a Dime at Christmas Time

December 07, 2020 02:00 - 19 minutes - 13.5 MB

Tips for budgeting during the holidays It can be so difficult making it financially as a single parent and even more difficult during the holidays and then add the pandemic on top of it. It is a lot! It can be stressful, overwhelming and feels like we can’t go on but… get some rest and start again tomorrow. To be perfectly honest, I do not think children have to get everything they want for Christmas. Many of us feel guilty about our kids not have having the “perfect” family so it easy ...

Holiday Co-Parenting; 25 Tips for Thriving during the Holidays

November 30, 2020 03:00 - 23 minutes - 16.1 MB

1). Check your schedule and co-parenting plan. 2). Get specific about your plan and communicate early with your co-parent partner. 3). Once a plan is agreed upon, present a united front with the children 4). Be flexible 5). Coordinate and plan the gift giving 6). Buy a present for the other parent 7). Prioritize the kids 8). Go for Presence Over Presents 9). Remember your child’s extended family and make a plan to include t...

Co-Parenting In Gratitude

November 23, 2020 02:00 - 16 minutes - 11.5 MB

Co-Parenting in Gratitude As all of us know, Thanksgiving is a special time to spend with our family and friends, but those of us that are recently separated/divorced and co-parenting or those of us that still need more time to heal from a separation or divorce, the last thing that might be going through your mind is celebrating, let alone feeling thankful and then with the pandemic, there are lots of emotions. In this season and especially with the pandemic, it is really in our best inte...

I Didn't Give Him Up, I Gave Him More .....Open Adoption Family Style - Part 3

November 16, 2020 03:00 - 36 minutes - 25.1 MB

In this episode you will hear my conversation with Brey, my oldest daughter, Nico, my son that I placed for adoption along with Teresa Harwood, Nico's adoptive mother. You will hear about how Brey and Nico navigated thru their emotions after our visits. There are lots of laughs and plenty of stories. My prayer is that this episode will shed light on the various threads that make up our quilts of "families". There is no "one size fits all" family. Love is what binds us together. I have ...

I Didn't Give Him, I Gave Him More - Interview with Nico Harwood - Part 2

November 09, 2020 04:00 - 35 minutes - 24.3 MB

In this episode my son and I discuss our open adoption relationship and the 21 year journey that we have been on. You will be able see first hand our relationship and how we have navigated our open adoption relationship. We share memories and lots of laughs.

I Didn't Give Him Up, I Gave Him More.... Our Open Adoption Story - Part 1

November 02, 2020 02:00 - 47 minutes - 32.8 MB

November is National Adoption Awareness month and I want to take these next few weeks to share with you my open adoption experience. This will be a 3 part series dropping each Monday in the month of November and will include my son, Nico Harwood, Teresa Harwood, the adoptive mom and Brey, my daughter. I thought Brey's experience growing up with the open adoption would be a unique experience for everyone to hear. The first part will feature Teresa and myself sharing our experience and how ...

Letting Go of Anger - The best birthday gift you can give yourself

October 26, 2020 03:00 - 21 minutes - 14.9 MB

This week is my birthday week and in thinking about my birthday and the best gift that I ever gave myself, I was reminded that it’s not in the actual material gifts but in the forgiveness to myself and others. “Letting Go of Anger” is by far the best gift I gave myself. Some of the ways I have learned to Let Go of Anger are: 1). Identify and Acknowledge the anger 2). Understand the Anger and that it originates from feeling powerless 3). Express the anger and learn to sit with it 4). ...

How to Navigate the Holiday's with your Co-Parent

October 19, 2020 03:00 - 18 minutes - 12.9 MB

Deborah Lenee' gives strategies for navigating the holiday schedules with your co-parent partner. Figure out a schedule in advance Consider sharing the holidays together - I know it is not for everyone.. maybe not for this year or season but with time and space it is possible. Benefits of sharing the holidays: · Both parents get to see the child on the actual holiday · No disputes of having equal time or transfers · Your child’s life is less disrupted · Ha...

Effective Tips for Homeschooling and Distance Learning Parents - My Interview with Rachel Southerland

October 11, 2020 20:00 - 32 minutes - 22.1 MB

In this episode, I interview Rachel Southerland who is a mother of six children. She successfully homeschooled all of her children and they have all gone onto higher education including three obtaining a Masters and one working on a Masters. She provides insight, knowledge and tips to help us navigate this new world that many of us are experiencing. Some of her insight includes the following: 1). If you can make it the first year, you can make a long time 2). Ask for help. Asking anyo...

Three Tips for Getting along with your Co-Parent Partner or Spouse

October 04, 2020 21:00 - 15 minutes - 10.7 MB

In this Episode Deborah Lenee' gives you three tips that you can use to get along with your Co-Parent Partner or Spouse. 1). Find something in common 2). Focus on the Positive 3). Forgive even when If you can learn to do these three things you will find, freedom, peace and joy.

Co-Parenting; Your Thrive Guide

Episodes