Cleaning House

Episode 29: Big Rags

June 03, 2019 07:00 - 1 hour - 58.2 MB

Just more of that Housemaids content you little pigs crave: gross salads, ordering postmates from a celeb's phone, new clients and big hugeeee rags. Hurry on over to your trough, it's feeding time! As always send your cleaning inquiries, questions, comments, poetry to: [email protected] And find us on twitter @realhousemaids LEAVE US A REVIEW YOU UNGRATEFUL ANIMALS

Episode 28: Mop Destroyers

May 20, 2019 10:07 - 1 hour - 40.1 MB

You wanted a new episode of housemaids? Well you cant afford us!!! Taxes, nieces, farewells, newly bi clients. It's unclear what topics we actually discuss but one thing's for certain: it's absolutely another episode of Cleaning House Send us your questions and comments NOW you ungrateful pigs!! [email protected]

Episode 27: Really Nauseous Maids

May 06, 2019 07:00 - 1 hour - 39.7 MB

On the first episode of Season 3, Rag and Sponge attempt to earn back the trust of you, our loyal pigs. Don't worry... we're still maids! Vertigo, listener letters and typically sad slices of life. DO keep in touch you messy piggies! Send your questions and comments to [email protected] Find us on twitter @realhousemaids

Episode 26: Our Hands

November 19, 2018 11:00 - 1 hour - 60.8 MB

Sponge attempts to get what's hers, Rag gets caught, lesbian stuff, maid hands and as always, more Enjoy Thanksgiving pigs! it may just be your last!! :) send ur questions, comments and bucket pics to: [email protected]

Episode 25: The Cucked Maid's Tale

November 12, 2018 11:00 - 1 hour - 48.8 MB

Dishwashers, momentous cleaning anniversaries and of course being cucked on this, our 25th ep Enjoy Pigs! And as always write us at: [email protected]

Episode 24: Hello, PIg!

November 05, 2018 11:00 - 1 hour - 40 MB

The third episode of our Housemaids reboot kicks off with a thank you message to our fans!! Sponge has vertigo and Rag commits a shocking crime Enjoy pigs! Email us your questions or comments at: [email protected]

Episode 23: WHERE'S MY BRACELET??

October 11, 2018 10:00 - 1 hour - 44.8 MB

On this meandering ep, Rag and Sponge talk Lenny Kravitz, their own nightmarishly dirty apartments and the titular phrase every client says when they're about to burn you at the stake: "WHERE'S MY BRACELET?" Steaming hot celeb tid bits runneth over in the second half for our most patient buckets

Episode 22: Old Maids

October 01, 2018 10:00 - 59 minutes - 82 MB

Reboot your dyson, Rag and Sponge are back after a four year blackout. They can't remember a thing! For a free consultation email [email protected]

Episode 21: Housemaids FM

February 17, 2014 08:20 - 1 hour - 76.4 MB

The Housemaids have hijacked an actual undisclosed FM radio station in this weeks censor beep-happy episode. Recorded during the radio dead zone which was the series finale of Breaking Bad and the season premier of Homeland, this loungy episode is best enjoyed in your biggest, comfiest recliner, paired with a 2013 pinot noir. Featuring an on air interview with two of our west coast sisters-in-rags who tell us all about cleaning for a house of well to do hardcore guys.

Episode 20: Slouching Towards Provincetown

November 02, 2013 07:50 - 1 hour - 87.8 MB

IT'S OUR 20TH EPISODE BITCH! Celebrate with Rag and Sponge in typical fashion as Sponge cleans for an aformentioned not-so-hot WASPy guy and Rag looks back on his first summer in the service industry in Provincetown.

Episode 19: Friend Vacation

September 26, 2013 16:05 - 1 hour - 85.6 MB

In this whirlwind of a month, we've time travelled from all the way back in June 2013 to this weeks episode, set in the NEARLY present day. Join us as we reunite for the first time in months in Rag's cozy, boho trailer in Provincetown, MA, the epicenter of all things spooky and gay. The date is mid-August and it feels as though summer may never end... While blue collar Sponge has been waiting for work in the stock-yards of NYC, Rag started over with a new life in a different service indu...

Episode 18: The Anna Kendrick of Clients

September 11, 2013 18:08 - 1 hour - 89.9 MB

Welcome back! This week we travel back in time once again. The time is early July 2013. Rag had just QUIT working for Madame X and in typical fashion, under a cloud of shame and complaints. The gals disect his final days as a maid and his recent confrontations with mega wealthy psychopathatic women. Other topics include: Gay guys in offices, Randy's GF and her sour Anna kendrick face and much more! Also featured, the first ever Real Housemaids blooper real!

Episode 17: Devilish Maids

September 03, 2013 15:30 - 46 minutes - 64.1 MB

They're pretty, they're skinny, they've got a "brand new" show on Lifetime and no, I'm not talking about the Real Housemaids. Marc Cherry has gone and done it again folks. First he exposed America's housewives as Desperate and now him and false prophet Eva Longoria have appropriated Our culture and turned it into some cheap pulp fiction. The time has come, the Housemaids are FINALLY going to weigh in on the Devious Maids "phenomenon." Recorded live from the Ace Hotel way back in June, lis...

Episode 16: Maidland Grodiness Advisory System

July 08, 2013 14:49 - 1 hour - 80.6 MB

This week we unveil our new Maidland Security Advisory System. This is both a tired joke from 11 years ago and a convenient way for us to impart the grodiness levels we encounter on a daily basis. Just like the dated refference, the system goes from green to red, green being very nice houses with a very low risk of being grody, red being less attractive real estate with a very high likelihood of being completely disgusting ...Get it?

Episode 15: Duplicity

June 19, 2013 16:23 - 50 minutes - 45.9 MB

And we're back! This week Rag and Sponge decided to go their separate ways. While Rag was away shooting a scene on location, Sponge filed papers with the NYC county clerk citing 'irreconcilable differences in cleaning style.' Let's be honest, a trial separation had been coming down the pike for a while. What with their bustling twitter, facebook AND tumblr pages, any couple would feel the pressure and scrutiny of the public eye. Sponge just wanted a clean break. She didn't want the bucket...

Episode 14: 20% Done

May 13, 2013 07:10 - 39 minutes - 45.1 MB

This weeks episode is a live audio diary of a clean we did together in a financial district loft. Join us as we unravel the lives of a couple of non-denominational prosecutors for the US justice system and their boringly named baby. Dell computers, John Adams (the miniseries) on Blu-Ray, first generation ipods, kahlua, world travel (books), Jeff Tweedy stuff. Their apartment was a reclaimed coke palace from some pre-pre-pre-recession golden age. We even cleaned what remained of an extre...

Episode 13: Midnight in the Garden of Maids and Evil

April 29, 2013 14:30 - 56 minutes - 51.6 MB

Lucky number 13! This weeks episode is a love letter to our new HATER. That's right, we are finally popular enough to have exactly one hate comment and we dissect every part of that milestone. Including ourselves! As we reflect on how far we've come, a Housemaid has to wonder, are we evil? Other topics include: TAX SEASON, CALIFORNIA CLOSETS, SPRING CLEANING AND DID WE MENTION HATERS???

Episode 12: The Rihanna of Maids

April 17, 2013 14:44 - 1 hour - 57.1 MB

Welcome back! Recently, while taking in some of NYC's notorious "culture", we ran into an old prep school chum who we discovered was also IN THE BIZ. High school may be all queen-bees-and-wannabes but in the world of maids, there are no popular girls. Listen here to our leisurely chat with DUSTY, our new special West Village correspondant. We wanted to really get to know her style (cleaning and otherwise) so we did what any Diane Sawyer would do: we asked her a million questions in the vain...

Episode 11: Serious Lunch

March 25, 2013 17:52 - 1 hour - 53.4 MB

Serious Lunch (see-ree-OS LUN-ch) Noun 1. A fun lunch with your best friend that takes a serious turn. 2. When you think you're going to a casual lunch, but your bestie has something unexpected and important to get off her chest This weeks episode starts with a blues riff in the key of MAID. Sponge lends her generous ears as Rag tells his recent tales of woe and deceit. Lies, betrayal, court dates and redemption, all to be found in the first 20 minutes of this episode Then the maids...

Episode 10: UPTOWN/DOWNTOWN

March 08, 2013 21:06 - 51 minutes - 47.5 MB

We've made it people! Episode 10! Today we look into the VERY different lives of two clients we've shared this past year. One is the quintessential upper east side diva. An heiress of a broadway fortune, she lives out her days attending galas and dinner parties, in french castles and of course, her local hair salon. Turner classic movies quietly play out on tiny flat screens. Filipino housekeepers fold english linens. Her life was a meticulously arranged broadway production, and we cheri...

Episode 9: The View

February 22, 2013 21:34 - 1 hour - 49.3 MB

THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! This week the maids have done a full 180 and turned the mics on a group of lucky fans! We asked four people 5 questions and we think their answers will shock AND tickle you. Topics covered: Dirtiest roommates, grossest bathrooms, childhood memories and much more... And as always, Rag and Sponge sit down for a classic hungover fireside chat dissecting current events, rude clients and each other. PLEASE EMAIL QUESTIONS, COMMENTS STORIES AND PICTURES TO: Realhousemaid...

Episode 8: THE BUCKET SLAM OPEN MIC

February 22, 2013 20:42 - 39 minutes - 27.2 MB

People this week we have gone completely off the rails. We proudly present to you the first ever RHMNY BUCKET SLAM, reading new works of poetry and fiction based on real people and events. Today’s program includes Rag’s new short story “Randy” and Sponge’s classic poem “No Dishwasher”. Randy is based on a real person and set in his actual apartment but MOST of the story is a work of fan fiction. AND REMEMBER TO EMAIL YOUR QUESTIONS COMMENTS, PICURES AND STORIES TO: Sure to be an unforgettab...

Episode 7: Can I Take Your Order?

February 22, 2013 20:27 - 54 minutes - 50 MB

Welcome back from christmas break! Get your next “semester” started off right with our brand new episode. This week we unveil a couple new segments: 1. “What’s in your Bucket?” AND 2. “Can I Take your Order?” TRANSLATION: The gals talk about what nastiness has been in their buckets lately and at a fan’s request, discuss some infuriating client demands. As always though, its what we’re saying in BETWEEN the lines that is REALLY interesting… DIG IN YALL

Episode 6: SAVAGES

January 18, 2013 20:18 - 55 minutes - 38.2 MB

The gals are back for another SUPREMELY EVIL episode… This week is an artisanal cocktail of diary entries, gchats, maid on maid gay action and just generally dishing dirt in a way that is completely inappropriate. And with a little Dickensian twist of holiday lime we revisit the clients we would haunt as the ghosts of cleanings past, present and future. WOULD YOU EXPECT ANYTHING LESS FROM THE HOUSEMAIDS?

Episodes