Ep. 89: Mike Domitrz - The DATE SAFE Project

My guest today is Mike Domitrz, host of The Everyday Mindfulness Show and the author of Can I Kiss You? Mike is a leading voice in helping kids, parents, educational institutions, and the US military discuss dating, sexual decision-making consent, and sexual assault. He speaks to tens of thousands yearly around the world, providing positive how-to skill sets and helpful insights to romantic relationships, sexual intimacy, and being safer. His podcast features special guests and a unique cast of over 70 people who stop by to add to the fun and thought-provoking conversations. Is Mike a dream-chaser? You bet! He’s on a mission to create a culture of consent and respect through the Date Safe project.
TWEET: “Be a part of creating a culture of #consent with Mike Domitrz” @datesafeproject
Can I Kiss You?
How does a book like Mike’s come about? He explains why he wants to bring awareness to behavior and why people want to keep reading the book. His goal for the book was to transform our culture and how it views sexual decision-making. Sexual violence is definitely not a new thing, but dream chasers like Mike are on the move to create a safer environment.
TWEET: “Every #survivor deserves to have a #voice.” @datesafeproject
What are we learning from TV and movies?
We need role modeling of the behavior we are seeking, and guess what? You won’t find that behavior modeled in movies and on television. Mike explains why his “ask” system is better than the status quo in relationships and why the paradigm needs to be shifted. We don’t even realize how often these types of violations happen.
TWEET: “We’ve only started to create a safer—not safe—environment.”
Where does mindfulness come in?
Am I really aware of how my words and actions are impacting culture? Probably not! In the workplace, at home, or with friends, we just don’t realize the power of our words and how many people can be affected by them. Why do we judge others? Why do we sexualize them? Why do we say inappropriate things to them or about them? These are the questions Mike wants you to consider!
TWEET: “Giving people specific words and skill sets to use takes out the #sexualization.” @datesafeproject
Guest Recommendation: Mike’s ACTION for a dream chaser to take:
“Ask for what you want and then respect the answer.”
 
OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE:
[1:30] Mike’s book
[2:32] Nothing new about sexual violence
[3:24] When the victim is blamed
[4:35] How this Mike’s dream mission relates to chasing dreams
[7:00] The effect on workplace environments
[8:50] How TV and movies affect behavior
[11:50] The prevalence of sexual assault
[13:28] Owning your words and their impact
[16:35] “It’s not me!”
[19:43] Words for parents
[22:53] How Mike learned about the skill sets needed
[25:00] How Mike’s work has changed over 20 years
[26:55] It’s never too late
[28:10] Skill sets to keep in mind
[32:30] Has there been improvement?
[34:10] Mike’s ACTION for a dream chaser to take
 
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Mike on Facebook 
Mike on Twitter
Mike’s http://www.datesafeproject.org (Website)
Mike’s https://www.everydaymindfulnessshow.com (Podcast Website)
 
TWEETS YOU CAN USE:
TWEET: “There is nothing new about #sexual #violence. Help create a culture of #consent.
TWEET: “Ask for what you want then #respect the answer.” @datesafeproject
 

My guest today is Mike Domitrz, host of The Everyday Mindfulness Show and the author of Can I Kiss You? Mike is a leading voice in helping kids, parents, educational institutions, and the US military discuss dating, sexual decision-making consent, and sexual assault. He speaks to tens of thousands yearly around the world, providing positive how-to skill sets and helpful insights to romantic relationships, sexual intimacy, and being safer. His podcast features special guests and a unique cast of over 70 people who stop by to add to the fun and thought-provoking conversations. Is Mike a dream-chaser? You bet! He’s on a mission to create a culture of consent and respect through the Date Safe project.

TWEET: “Be a part of creating a culture of #consent with Mike Domitrz” @datesafeproject

Can I Kiss You?

How does a book like Mike’s come about? He explains why he wants to bring awareness to behavior and why people want to keep reading the book. His goal for the book was to transform our culture and how it views sexual decision-making. Sexual violence is definitely not a new thing, but dream chasers like Mike are on the move to create a safer environment.

TWEET: “Every #survivor deserves to have a #voice.” @datesafeproject

What are we learning from TV and movies?

We need role modeling of the behavior we are seeking, and guess what? You won’t find that behavior modeled in movies and on television. Mike explains why his “ask” system is better than the status quo in relationships and why the paradigm needs to be shifted. We don’t even realize how often these types of violations happen.

TWEET: “We’ve only started to create a safer—not safe—environment.”

Where does mindfulness come in?

Am I really aware of how my words and actions are impacting culture? Probably not! In the workplace, at home, or with friends, we just don’t realize the power of our words and how many people can be affected by them. Why do we judge others? Why do we sexualize them? Why do we say inappropriate things to them or about them? These are the questions Mike wants you to consider!

TWEET: “Giving people specific words and skill sets to use takes out the #sexualization.” @datesafeproject

Guest Recommendation: Mike’s ACTION for a dream chaser to take:

“Ask for what you want and then respect the answer.”

 

OUTLINE OF THIS EPISODE:

[1:30] Mike’s book [2:32] Nothing new about sexual violence [3:24] When the victim is blamed [4:35] How this Mike’s dream mission relates to chasing dreams [7:00] The effect on workplace environments [8:50] How TV and movies affect behavior [11:50] The prevalence of sexual assault [13:28] Owning your words and their impact [16:35] “It’s not me!” [19:43] Words for parents [22:53] How Mike learned about the skill sets needed [25:00] How Mike’s work has changed over 20 years [26:55] It’s never too late [28:10] Skill sets to keep in mind [32:30] Has there been improvement? [34:10] Mike’s ACTION for a dream chaser to take

 

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Mike on Facebook 

Mike on Twitter

Mike’s Website

Mike’s Podcast Website

 

TWEETS YOU CAN USE:

TWEET: “There is nothing new about #sexual #violence. Help create a culture of #consent.

TWEET: “Ask for what you want then #respect the answer.” @datesafeproject