S3: E5 How to navigate unexpected trials in your marriage and find beauty in the ashes with special guests Dan and Mandee O'Shaughnessy

My guests this week are husband and wife,  Dan and Mandee  O'Shaughnessy. Dan and Mandee met by happenstance, at their small church in Iowa in 2013. Dan originally thought Mandee was too young and she thought he was overly outgoing and a bit interesting. Mandee wasn’t looking for any type of relationship at the time and Dan was prayerfully cautious about pursuing anything more than a friendship. But, God had other plans and they were married a year later on April 26, 2014.

  Getting married, moving halfway across the country, leaving their church and community behind, presented several unexpected challenges for them.  To further complicate things, Dan had hidden a very dark and unknown addiction from Mandee, which slowly surfaced early on in the marriage.  Mandee confronted him about finding some pornographic material on his phone, which he downplayed, and neither one of them knew how to deal with it properly.  This addiction boiled under the surface for the next two and a half years, showing up here and there.  

Finally, enough was enough for both of them, and Dan joined a sexual addiction group through his church.  

 Married life seemed to be getting better as Dan was appearing to get some clarity, but Mandee was still left feeling alone learning how to be married to a husband with a pornography addiction. 

On a Sunday afternoon in July of 2018, Dan confronted Mandee with the most devastating news of her life.  Mandee felt like her life hit rock bottom, with having no words to speak to describe the pain she felt, yet somehow there was a small light in the darkness.  Through a lot of prayer, God placing a community in her life and with promises from Scripture, she found a new hope and strength in God.  Through conviction and God’s love for Dan, he was able to turn his life around and break free of the sexual addictions that were holding him in bondage.  Dan and Mandee now have a new found love and trust for each other.  They also have a heart for other couples to fight for their marriage, in a culture that says it is easier to throw it away.

Connect with Dan and Mandee: 

https://www.facebook.com/mrsmandeeo90

https://www.instagram.com/mrsmandeeo/?hl=en

Email Dan: [email protected] 

Resources:

Online Group: 

https://www.423communities.org/new-page-2

Books Recommendations:

The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-that-Lasts/dp/080241270X

Anger: Taming a Powerful emotion Gary Chapman: https://www.amazon.com/Anger-Powerful-Emotion-Gary-Chapman-ebook/dp/B00PI111JA/ref=sr_1_2?crid=21IRUCH9NW1U6&dchild=1&keywords=anger+gary+chapman&qid=1586803768&s=books&sprefix=anger+gary%2Cstripbooks%2C233&sr=1-2

When Your Husband Is Addicted to Pornography: Healing Your Wounded Heart https://www.amazon.com/dp/1936768631/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_tLDLEbG7RDBBE