Brilliant Observations

Waste Not... Want More

Suns and Moons merging together, garbage and valuables co-mingling at every turn, and longtime friends who suddenly reveal their depthlessly shallow hearts. It's a world gone MAD, Dear Listener, and this week's episode is here for it. Join us as we recap the Eclipse, including the physical effects of witnessing a mass lunar wedding (blech!). Then, there's the main event — the Watch List, a special category where once cherished relationships reveal their critical flaws, only to slide off into...

Matt the Rat Man

Shut Your Juicy Mouth

It’s Grievance Week, Dear Listener, and both Amy and Missy came ready to grouse. How better to begin than a full-throated rebuke of famed finger-wagger herself, the one and only Mel Robbins. Listen with head-shaking joy as Amy loses her damn mind over Mel Robbins' most recent episode, featuring the world's most saliva-packed special guest. If that wasn’t enough, Melissa launches her nukes at a disingenuous family of influencers looking to capitalize on their son’s (ahem) “medical condition...

Gday, Dear Listener!

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? Well, when the starting point for licks is Melissa's son after a Balinese holiday and the Tootsie Roll center is an unwrapped toilet seat, I'm guessing it takes more than three. Join us as we chat through Aboriginal Gratitude, the state of Israel, the Selective Logic of the Qanon Collective, and disgruntled gift recipients. It's all there, Dear Listener. And all you have to do is press play. 

Farfale!

Oh, G-blank-D, Dear Listener, do we have a show for you. There's frivolous lawsuits. There's religious superstition. There's orgasm pills, TikTok scams and wildly overpriced butter. There's even a botched execution that turns out to be a heartwarming tale of "I bet you didn't see that coming." And if that wasn't enough, we even throw in some nonsensical anecdotes from the teenage clown around gang. Interested? You betcha. Time for another Brilliant Observations, kids!

Women Are Wizards

Happy Feet had his heartsong. The rest of us, if Mallory's college classmate is to be trusted, have a Poopsong. And the lucky few? A Pooping Playlist. You know. For those very long, very strenuous "moments." And with that, we’re back to our old tricks, Dear Listener, with plenty of silly, sing-songy, potty humory talkie talk for your listening pleasure.  Do we also manage to dabble in politics, however briefly? Why yes, yes we do. But only as long as it takes to lace a pair of solid gold s...

Credit Card Karma

We’ve had a bit of a viral moment on TikTok this week, Dear Listener, and wouldn’t you know it’s about some questionable activity (wholly endorsed). What can I say? Sometimes the things in my head come out of my face. And in this case, the things coming out of my face happened in the bathroom. Interested? Then listen on, Dear Listener — this episode is for you.  Topics covered include All Things Underpants (from going commando to carrying a spare pair to stray toilet paper mysteriously stu...

Stingray Jesus

You've heard of snakes on a plane. Welp, there's no preparing you for what these Amsterdamians decided to transport. Continuing with the Animals Gone Wild theme, Missy shares news of the world's first (potentially) immaculate conception, sting-ray style. Just as scripture foretold, this too leaves us guessing as to who done messed with that unsuspecting lady. (My money's on the shark.) All that plus Weed Goes to the Theatre, Weed Goes to Work and Weeeeeee All the way Home. Join us for a lau...

Puppy Kisses in the Turks and Caicos

It's Valentine's Day week, Dear Listener, and we'd like to be the first to tell you how much genuine LOVE and appreciation we feel for your laughs, shares, well-wishes and attention episode after heartfelt episode. Sending bladder-straining giggles your way is the honor and highlight of our week.  More news and notes to come! For now, biggest love to you and yours.  

Chicken Slices in the Junk Drawer

Talk about a Money Corner! Holy Listener Feedback, Dear Listener. We peed all over you last week, and boy did you respond. (Don't worry if you missed it — you can always give last week's episode a listen if you're looking for a raucous laugh.) "Back to the car." Do you know which social media platform is most used by adults? Indeed you do not, Dear Listener, as Melissa so shockingly clarifies for us this week. It's all part of the rough-and-tumble chaos of life in the junk drawer, I guess....

Chat GPT (Emphasis on the Pee)

It's a horror show, kids, at least it was around the beautiful Sonic Bloom Awards banquet table during the She Podcasts Unplugged! event in concert with PodFest 2024. And yet, despite the unsolicited (geriatric) pick up lines, latent latex balloon smell and traumatic special-effect makeup photos, the most exciting thing we saw at this year's extraordinary event was how to optimize your podcast workflow using artificial intelligence.   Honestly, you think we would have investigated t...

All's Fair in Love and Washing Machine Repair

This just in: life's not fair, Dear Listener... right down to the range of personal greetings doled out at the local supermarket. But just like sanitation codes at the bulk bean display, Amy won't let a little thing like fairness stop her from barrelling through this world with a fist in the air in defence of the smile in her heart. Laugh along with us this week as we cover abbreviations as disconnected as DMV snubs, NFL team names, VIP shopping status and OG GPS SOBs. All that, plus Missy ...

Bean Play

$120 manicures lead Missy to question everything — including Amy's apparent fetish with sliding her fingers into unwashed bean barrels at the corner deli. It's a thing. Right? See the video for yourself on TikTok: ListenBrilliant All that, plus Missy says goodbye, sort of, to the boy as he flies off to Australia. Depending on when you download this episode, he may still be in the air. (Just kidding. He's confirmed it's a G'day Down Undah.)   

The Poopatraitor

We're growing our audience on TikTok, Dear Listener, so we've placed a little behind the scenes video there for your enjoyment. Hop on over to ListenBrilliant (on any of the socials, really) for a peek at Missy and Amy as they attempt to solve the latest crime thriller: who pooped on Missy's driveway? 

Santa in the Microwave

It's Microwave Mania, Dear Listener, as the Brilliant Household bares its disfunctional soul for all to hear. Not to be outdone, Biohazard Amy makes another unscheduled, yet inexplicable appearance.  And Melissa continues her yearly Crusade against Christmas "Culture." Screw you, Santa. 

Start Stop Continue

We're shooting squirrels and picking up girls, Dear Listener, so why not load up on the bad decisions, grab your favorite friend by the cheeks and give em a great big smooch on the mouth! Or maybe take our New Year's Prompt to heart and consider not doing any of that stuff... and decide instead to look forward as you look back.  What will you Stop doing in 2024?  What will you Start doing?  We certainly know what you'll Continue doing — and that's listening to our beloved show. Find ...

Cease and Desist (Kissing on the Mouth)

If ever you’ve wondered when it was time to stop doing what you’re doing, try reading your mail. Brilliant Observations Administrative Team receives a surprising Cease and Desist letter from a loser with no ideas. And Missy takes decisive action.  Plus, big shocker, Amy finds herself a little too mouthy with just about everyone. But don't worry, kids. It all works out in the end. 

Fancy Pants

It’s the Fancy Pants episode, Dear Listener, replete with holiday tips and tricks for shaming fellow passengers on international flights. Hot cocoa recipes, dueling cheese straws, jingle bells, men’s footwear fashion, and all the lighthearted conversation you’d expect among strangers at a holiday party. Pull out your fancy sweatpants, kids. This one’s special!  Plus, Missy slides down skanky sponge mountain. And Amy shares how (once again) to continuously operate a vehicle without a single...

Per My Previous Email

To Be (right) or Not To Be (rude), that, Dear Listener, is the question we tackle this week, along with a healthy dose of Who Needs Evidence?, Guess This Postal MESS, and the Florida Follies! Are you ready? How could you be.   Join Melissa and Amy for another lighthearted romp through their post-Thanksgiving-holiday week, including airplane shenanigans, mildly senile parents, and one very special weekend for the boy across the pond.  Get the tissues ready. Not that way. Ew. 

Dispensary Wisdom and Radical RBF

Dear Listener, do you suffer from Resting Bitch Face? Boy, do we have the internal oral massage for you (with gloves, of course). Laugh in moderate disgust as we joke our way through the glories of wrinkle-reducing face tape, broken Thanksgiving ovens, spilled cocktails and the endlessly fascinting people that you meet at the Dispensary (Family Edition). Wanna hear the full Thanksgiving menu? Complete details, tasting notes and a hint at preparation methods at the very tail end of the show...

Thanksgiving Confessions and Six-Hands Massage

Looking for an old-fashioned antidote to all those Thanksgiving blessings? Try the Catholic method and focus on CONFESSING! Amy kicks things off with several low-grade felonies, including retail fraud and vehicular wrecklessness. Then Missy joins the fun with a free-wheeling endorsement of this week's spa-based "treatment," the exotic Six Hands Massage.   It's a thing.  Sibian much?  Happy Thanksgiving, Dear Listener. If you can make it all the way to the end, hear Missy tear up as we ...

The Time of Your Life

Two things can be true, Dear Listener. First, Missy donates her hard-won discretionary time — at great personal risk, we might add — for the betterment of democracy. And, Missy realizes she's currently living in the Best Time of Her Life.  Is this is a disconnect? Has she somehow diassociated from the throngs of far-too-easily ruffled eligible voters of southern Pennsylvania? Nah. She's just grateful for everything these days. Especially banana taffy.  Share this episode with a friend....

Gerard Shepardeux

Best names ever, the art and science of being a poor sport, plus a special trip to Shartford, Connecticut. We cover it all this week, Dear Listener, and just in time for the weekend (even though with Daylight Savings Time and jet lag it should really be...) Special shoutout to the lovely "asshats" (surely she didn't say "asshat") at the Mindful Mavens podcast — give them a listen for peaceful, enlightened conversation.  Grateful for you, kids. Mean it. 

Raccoon Ransacked

Ever have a “friend” act more like a rabid raccoon? It’s a Write-In Mystery this week, Dear Listener, and as predicted, Amy and Missy love not to help. Hear our off the cuff advice for a Listener suffering the indignities of an over-stepper doing a little too much helping himself-ing.  Plus, the 80s theme 50th birthday party featuring karaoke is a huge hit. So why is Melissa so mad? Oh, that’s right. Because Amy refuses to do anything she’s told.  Surprise, surprise!  All this and stil...

Scandals and Whores (Teen Milestone Edition)

Can you believe it? It's Skimpy Sequin Season, Dear Listener, which means everything from sacred relious ceremonies to time-honored teen traditions are awash in too short, too sheer, too sparkly and too shocking "formal" wear. All of which leads us to lament the untimely death of Suzanne Somers (as you do), sample new and various weed gummies, and partially report on the latest family scandal. (It's a doozy!) So what say you? Are you ready for some scandalous whoremongering? Of course you ...

That's for Me

What's so funny about peace, love, and understanding? How often we take it for granted. Ride along with us as we explore all the ways we can tap into joy, effortlessly uplift each other, find the unfiltered laugh, call happiness to us in everyday life, and expand the dense and infinitely available goodness that flows all around us in this fractured world.  Give it a try. You never know what it will change.  And it case it wasn't patently obvious, we stand with Israel. We stand with Jews....

Celebrity Bungholes

Looking for a laugh this week? Boy, did you come to the right place! We're talking all things light, breezy, and lemon-squeezy this week, including a healthy mistrust of celebrity, the beloved Deborah Gibson, and (you guessed it) a recurring fascination with the anal region. Why listen to anything else?  Celebrate life. Embrace joy. Love your neighbor. Love your other neighbor. And find happiness wherever you can. The world needs you! 

Lonely Hearts and Brittany Parts

From a scantily clad, knife-wielding Brittany Spears-a-thon (or is it Spears-a-thong?) to the mystery ingredient in hot dogs, we've covering all things terrifying this episode. Join us as we delve into such bouncy topics as the Hundo List, adult loneliness, Tuscon on the horizon, and you guessed it, porn. What's not to love? 

Psych Tests and Handcuffs

The Hallowieners are at it again, Dear Listener, and this time they're not even the worst of the worst we cover this week. Join us in flabberghasted awe as we giggle through the existence of Dog Doo DNA Kits, dangle death skeletal decor, Paul Simon's inexplicable mortality and the Four Personality Types (and How To Beat Them). We also cover Adults Behaving Badly, Theatre Edition, Jewish New Year, the rise of Cat Stevens (or is it Stevie Nicks?), Rick Rubin and the Creative Act, and Missy's t...

Show and Tell

Murderer at the Window

You heard it here first, Dear Listener... just as Missy predicted, the cops got wise and sent in the dogs to finally catch the escaped Philadelphia area prisoner — but not before he made a special ghostly appearance over Amy's shoulder while recording this week. Listen in for the fright of your life (that actually turns out to be the gardener).  Missy even predicted that K9 units would save the day.  All that, plus magic gratitude numbers, Stuart takes his life in his hands Kitchen Edition...

Barefoot Shoes?!

Who Let the Dogs Out? Stu! Stu, Stu, Stu!

It’s a shocking turn of events this week, Dear Listener, and poor Missy is stunned into silence over Stuart’s inexplicable — and uncharacteristic — inability to properly manage the three dogs. Visiting the Margate beach house takes a wild, if temporary turn. And yes, a police cruiser is involved. Rest assured, Dearest. In the end, all's well that ends well in doggy-dom. (Even if Stuart himself may never escape the doghouse again.) We also chat through the realities of semi-adult children...

I Demand an Apology

It's the vacation, vocation, medication episode, Dear Listener, complete with teen drivers behaving badly, young adults fleeing the nest, and teary-eyed besties rekindling their love affair with time, talents, and three decades' worth of  friendship. Gratitude, anyone?  

Cabo San What Now?

To ice or not to ice, Dear Listener — that is but one of our many questions this week. Like, why do we still cling to toxic relationships (with Skittles)? How are multi-level marketers still a thing? What do photos of our past lives really say about our future? And when are we finally going to reveal the murderer?! All this and so very much more will be hiariously revealed this week on your favorite true crime podcast, Brilliant Observations.  Did I say true crime? I meant not true crime...

What Are You Afraid Of?

(Of what are you afraid?) Oh, I dunno. Sneezes, Skittles, death cleaning, failing, falling, and quite possibly burning down the house. It's a raucous, late night redo of an episode this week, Dearies. You won't want to miss it. 

The Tale of Two Podiatrists

It was the best of toes. It was the worst of toes. Listen in as Missy reinjures her engorgement — hey now — and somehow lives to tell the tale. Spoiler alert: the story involves an iPad, three doctors and a blow torch. What? Next, Amy and Missy move on to all the adulty things you don't get enough credit for doing now that you're an adult. You know the list: cleaning out the dryer lint, confronting someone you don't want to, completely stalling out and failing to achieve or understand your...

50 States of Inebriation

It’s around the world in 80 hours, Dear Listener, and boy do we have stories for you! Missy and Amy take to the skies to celebrate their college bestie on her 50th birthday, complete with a three mile hike straight up, beach rugby, late night pool parties and a rooftop concert. Throw in a weed store within walking distance of the rental property plus a fully stocked bar and you’ve got yourself one hell of a podcast.  There’s even a Very Special 30 Second with Amy, Murderers Edition, and a ...

Lie, Cheat, Kill, or Steal

"I don't steal stuff" and other lies kick things off this week, complete with a long list of all the ways that Amy truly, really does not steal (all that often). Oh, dear, Dear Listener.  Next, Missy tackles the unsolvable problem of the crippling sloppiness of Amy's living environment. Stick with me here, gang. Gotta say, feeling real good about this show this week. (You wanted the truth!) 

The Cereal Episode

It's an all out CAGE MATCH this week, Dear Listener, as Missy and Amy take extreme umbrage with the powers that be at Breakfast. You heard me. It's the Post, Kellogg, General Mills, Gererica SHOWDOWN with our Heavyweight of the Cereal Aisle. We rank em. We spank em. We can't believe how much we know about em. Play along with our Best Of List, or just wring your hands as Amy retells the story of 18 Year Olds Gone Bad, Housesitting Edition. What's not to love?  

Jews vs Italians: A Love Story

Boy oh boy, Dear Listener, did we get feedback from you! So if last week's epsiode got you all riled up, you're in for a real treat. Join us as we discuss our shared admiration for the Jersey Jews, the Atlantic City Eye-talians, and of course, Justine Bateman's face. Oy.  All that plus Pants or Plan — a very special Missy quiz. Buckle up, buttercup. You won't want to miss this one. 

All About That Face

Don't you just love Melissa? Well, Dear Listener, then this episode is for you. This week, we discuss the wonders of Missy's oceanside abode, including long lost friend reunions, sandy canines, too tall entry stairs, sequestering ourselves on the third floor and the perils of dispatching Stuart back to reality (ope! there goes gravity, ope! there goes Rabbit he choked he's so mad but he won't give up that easy no...) Then, as we often do, we ever so eventually get to the meat of the matter:...

Birthday Blowouts and Again with the Anal

Celebrating another 'birthday week/month' with the rest of the Millenials, are we? Well, prepare to be judged, Dear Listener, 'cuz we're officially sick of it. Time to scale back your annual self-acknowledgment to a Boomer-approved cake slice accompanied by a single, yet hearty handshake. (These kids today.) From there, of course, we pivot to anal.  It's all in a day's conversation on the little podcast that could (but maybe shouldn't). And, you're welcome.  We're dropping this week's ...

Social Media Shaming with Super Close Strangers

Feeling psychopath-curious? Look no further than this week's shamefully relatable episode. Dear Listener: is this you? Sweeping sidewalks and city streets as if they are your own? Eshewing "group poop" with individualized walks for your multiple pets? Judging friends for ignoring obvious solutions to their probems?  Ignoring the fact that you, too, behave exactly like the friends you're judging? All that, plus: Amy’s neighbors head to the airport for a planeside visit with former pres...

Face Spells and Experience Amnesia

Nothing like a handcrafted Face Spell to make a gal feel better about herself. Which begs the question: should Etsy be allowed to sell literal "beauty charms" as products? Amy says yes. Missy cries cult. You be the judge — who are we kidding, Dear Listener, we're definitely judging this week.  All that, plus a rousing round of Would You Rather, a monkey-infused Costa Rican Recap, and Experience Amnesia. 

What Price Beauty

From baby Botox to chin lifts, Morpheus laser and yellow dragon fruit, we’re covering how far we’ll go for beauty this week, Dear Listener. And believe you me, you’ll never guess the next thing Melissa’s putting in her mouth.  Plus, a travel update on Ethan has him visiting a war zone, then lying to Missy about his illusion of safety (consequently expanding the war zone radius).  Meanwhile, in North Carolina, there’s graduation, pervert training, and yet another Costa Rican toileting upd...

The Big Three Oh Oh IYKYK

Do you have a punchable face? Take our quiz and find out! And if that's not enough, we cover masculine energy, "IYKYK", Missy's Evil Mommy (Part 2,000), middle east security concerns, and no-bend, no-T slip on shoes (to address the untied shoelace epidemic). Join us, Dear Listener, as we briefly look back and whiplash forward on the little show that could 300 times over.  Nominated for TWO Sonic Bloom Awards — really? You bet cha, buster. So tell your friends. And rate us five stars. We ...

Talent, Charisma, and Regular Hydration Drinks

If you're looking to start a side hustle training crows to bring you random change they find in the park, buy oh boy do we have a show for you. This week, we cover hoarding, underwear, ayahuasca, bodily fluids, hydrating fluids and the wildest, most disconnected assortment of stream of consciousness topics your fever-dreamed minds can handle. Enjoy!

An Encore for Alex Borstein

For perhaps the first time ever, Missy and Amy disagree wildly on comedy show. Missy suspects it's a Jew thing. Amy blames Charlie Brown. Who will you blame? Listen and learn, Dear Listener, and we just might offer a few bonus Unexpected Penis appearances and VIP Vomit Hall of Famers for good measure. 

Talking To Other People's Kids

Is there anything more unsettling than adults behaving badly with other people's kids? Dear Listener, you be the judge as Amy and Melissa both experience many different sides of this sticky, silly, weepy, creepy situation.  Too long, didn't listen: kids are fragile. Behave accordingly.  And yes, we still laugh our asses off over stupid stuff and nonsense. Enjoy!