Bite This Onions artwork

Bite This Onions

24 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 5 years ago -

Hey! We're Jadzia and Max, the only 2 black fans of ASOIAF, and we're here to close read literature for the first time since high school. Jaime Lannister is a god among men. Jon Snow is Lil Uzi Vert. Jadzia can't read.

Books Arts Comedy asoiaf funny gameofthrones idiots literature
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Episodes

Ep. 22 / AGOT - The Sleepiest Episode Yet

February 17, 2019 21:30 - 2 hours - 192 MB

Hey SJWs! Sorry for the wait! We went long, baby! Thank you to our Patrons who we shout out at the end because we forgot it's our first episode of the month! We love you!!! Happy Valentine's to all of our listeners who we love dearly! Come say hi in our DISCORD and send asks! Check out our PATREON, too!

Filler Ep. 2 / TV AND MOVIES - Bite This Humans

January 26, 2019 20:06 - 1 hour - 135 MB

Sorry guys we kind of just talk about cannibalism for a long time. ASOIAF will return next week! PATREON DISCORD

Ep. 21 / AGOT - A Song of Ice and Fyre Fest

January 21, 2019 07:39 - 2 hours - 176 MB

Hey guys! So sorry it's been a while! It's 2:30am so I'm going to cut to the chase! We cover Jon 8 and Dany 6! We get off topic a lot! ASOIAF is a metaphor for the Trump Administration.  We have a PATREON !! It'd be cool if you were able to shoot us a couple of dollars for a shoutout! We're broke! Also, join our Discord !!! Bye!! Enjoy!!  

Ep. 20 / AGOT - A Thanos Baratheon Christmas

December 28, 2018 11:00 - 2 hours - 178 MB

Happy holidays to our lovely Freys (that's you and also us) and welcome to the BTO holiday special, which is just a regular episode but I added fireplace ambiance and a yaoi Christmas song for the intro. This episode features Nico or theunacceptablepylades on Tumblr!! Today we covered Sansa 5 to Catelyn 9, but I'm pretty sure we spent 30 minutes talking about Walder Frey having sex.    Anyways, we have a Patreon and a Discord!! Please join our Discord and consider giving us your sweet ha...

Ep. 19 / AGOT - Schlob On Me Knob

December 15, 2018 11:00 - 1 hour - 164 MB

La di da di da, Robb on me knob, pass me some ale, fuck me in the cart, la dit da dit da, stranger fuck the law, chitty chitty bang, slaughter everythang. welcome to episode 19, the episode where we discuss African diaspora a little bit before actually getting into AGOT! Today we discussed Dany 5 to Cat 8, and we LOVE ROBB! We also LOVE OUR PATRONS, so if you want to support us, the link is below!! PATREON   DISCORD

Ep. 18 / AGOT - The Fartstarks

December 01, 2018 17:48 - 2 hours - 179 MB

Good morning nothern bad boys, it's been a while, and because of that, Max and I absolutely could not stop getting off topic! Hope none of you mind. Anyways, today we covered Jon 7 and Bran 6 and also George HW Bush died live on the podcast!! What!!! Tune in for 0 laughs and a biiiig headache. #ArabsDeserveDorne #EssosIsAsia Give to our Patreon and also join our Discord server!

Ep. 17 / AGOT - Game of Thrones (2011) Sucks So Bad

November 17, 2018 11:00 - 1 hour - 141 MB

Hey Solid Starks and welcome to some GOOD A Song of Ice and Fire. I don't have much to say but thank you, George for making these books so good and sexy. Today we read Arya 4 and Sansa 4! I'm too lazy to put the links here but check out our Discord and think about becoming Patreon patrons! There are benefits, you know ;)

Ep. 16 / AGOT - Madea's Diaries of a Mad King

November 09, 2018 11:00 - 1 hour - 140 MB

Hellurrr listenurrrrs. This is Tyler Perry letting you about this week's Bite This Onions! This week, we're covered Ned 13 to Ned 14 and it's SPICY. I mean RED HOT. Anyone else feeling red hot this week? Anyways, thank you to our BEAUTIFUL PATRONS for allowing us to supply you with content that is consistent 40% of the time!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!! Anyways, consider becoming Patrons, join our Discord, and SEND ASKS to bitethisonionspodcast on Tumblr!!!!  

Ep. 15 / AGOT - Gunner Lannister

November 01, 2018 00:00 - 1 hour - 111 MB

Hey Nedlets, welcome to episode 15, a short as hell episode! We've been pushing it with the episode lengths, and because of that we have limited space to work with for the rest of October. Sorry about that! Anyway, this episode covers Ned XII and Dany IV. Can y'all believe we're like 2/3 of the way through the book? We can. Anyways, support us! Libsyn is... expensive. And we're in college.  PATREON

Filler Ep. 1 / VIDEO GAMES - Bite This Maester Raven

October 26, 2018 03:11 - 51 minutes - 70.5 MB

Hey dragons! Ready to hear us talk about video games? Welcome to our first short filler episode!!! We hope you like it - also, thank you so much for sending asks! We love you!!!! We have a Patreon.... and a Discord... :P Hit that donate and hit that JOIN baby!!! PATREON DISCORD

Ep. 14 / AGOT - Ned XI Never Forget

October 13, 2018 10:00 - 2 hours - 173 MB

Hey guys! This was another long one so I hope you don't mind us going short for the rest of the month since we don't have the storage space! It's hard to avoid since there's so much going down tho. Anyway, I have a headache so I'm just going to say we covered Tyrion VII to Sansa III. Soon enough I'm going to stop knowing how to read these Roman numerals. Never forget... to send asks!!!! :P PATREON DISCORD

Ep. 13 / AGOT - The 2nd Anedment

October 06, 2018 10:00 - 1 hour - 165 MB

Good morning and kung pow cock everyone! Welcome to Bite this Onions, the podcast where we start reading Ned X around 13 minutes. Shoutout to our Patreon patrons!!!! We love you and can't thank you ENOUGH for helping keep this show afloat. It's still hard to believe people actually give us money for this. Anyways, in this episode that took WAY too long to edit, we cover Ned X to Jon V, some sexy, SEXY chapters with some DOPE combat. We hope you enjoy! Also, I didn't know that links worked in...

Ep. 12 / AGOT - We GOT Interrupted

October 01, 2018 02:13 - 2 hours - 166 MB

Hey guys! Jadzia didn't know you could apply Discord permissions to voice channels!! The episode was going to be called "Lord Stark, I don't feel so good..." before we were interrupted in the middle of our very on-topic conversation about Overwatch! (We GOT interrupted... hehe... like Game of Thrones). Anyways, we cover Dany III to Tyrion VI with our guest Nico, or QueerlyDeparted on Twitter! Send asks to bitethisonionspodcast on tumblr and also check out our Patreon and Discord server!

Ep. 11 / AGOT - The Elder Thrones I: Skyrim

September 22, 2018 10:00 - 1 hour - 153 MB

Hey Nords I'm sleepy so I'm going to keep this short. Max and Jadzia talk about video games for 20 minutes and then talk about A Game of Thrones! We cover Ned VIII to Ned IX. Also, episodes will be coming out on Saturdays from now on! Send asks (bitethisonionspodcast.tumblr.com), donate to our Patreon, tell your friends about our podcast, and enjoy the episode!!! We love you!!!!

Ep. 10 / AGOT - Weed Jokes About Highgarden

September 15, 2018 06:55 - 2 hours - 191 MB

Hello gays! It's been a while, so we're here with an ACTION PACKED 2 hour episode FILLED with some of the longest and best chapters we've gone over so far - Ned VII to Arya III. We talk about nothing for a long time....... Anyways, ENJOY and also SEND ASKS!!!!! bitethisonionspodcast.tumblr.com.... also we have a Patreon!! Consider giving our broke asses some money!!

Ep. 9 / AGOT - Clown of the Crown

September 01, 2018 10:00 - 1 hour - 148 MB

Hey hedge knights! Hope you had a great week OR we hope you had a stressful week and you're settling down on this fine Saturday morning to bite this onions with us! This week, we discussed Ned VI to Sansa II, some GOOD ASS chapters. Also, did you know that iTunes censors cuss words in the description? We just noticed lol. Anyway, enjoy our most ace positive episode yet!!!! SEND ASKS AND ALSO WE HAVE A PATREON...

Ep. 8 / AGOT - God is a eunuch

August 24, 2018 13:00 - 1 hour - 93.6 MB

Hello Snowchiha Clan! Welcome to the 8th episode of Bite This Onions, which is just filled to the brim with internet troubles since Jadzia is back at school! We hope you don't mind the jumps and weird choppy audio at times. Anyways, in this short episode, we cover Ned V and Jon IV, 2 excellent chapters where we meet some cool characters like Alyn! SHOUTOUT TO NICO LANNISTER FOR BEING OUR 1ST $10 PATRON! As promised, our Discord server will probably be live by the time the episode is out. We'...

Ep. 7 / AGOT - BTO Behind the Layers

August 17, 2018 13:00 - 2 hours - 201 MB

Hello kinslayers, we're back! This one's jam-packed with depression, guilt, stress, longing, frustration, pain, and some other wack shit! Also, this episode was so long that we had to cut out most off-topic stuff, so there might be some weird jumps, sorry about that! Anyways, in this episode, we cover Arya II to Bran IV, and none of it is fun to read! We hope you enjoy the episode regardless! Anyways, awesome reminder to send us asks to bitethisonionspodcast on Tumblr and also to consider ...

Ep. 6 / AGOT - Shimada Castle Black

August 10, 2018 13:00 - 1 hour - 154 MB

Good morning thots! It's 4 in the morning and Jadzia is typing this after a sensual 4 hour Stardew Valley session. Sad! Anyways, in this episode, we discuss Jon III to Tyrion IV and deliver THE hottest takes possible, we think. We love all of you so much, and enjoy the episode!

Ep. 5 / AGOT - The BlackElroys

August 01, 2018 15:29 - 1 hour - 147 MB

Hey, locals. In this episode, we talk about how Tumblr is a bad site for minors and how Jadzia was a H*mestuck probably (sad!). We also do shoutout some of our amazing listeners and Patrons this week!!! We love you. In addition to that, we cover Ned III to Cat IV, some juicy political chapters! Enjoy! Also hit up our Patreon and SEND ASKS :3  https://www.patreon.com/bitethisonions

Ep. 4 / AGOT - A Lannister Family Cookout

July 20, 2018 13:00 - 1 hour - 147 MB

What's up Ser BarriSTANs and butcher boys of the world! Welcome back to our little corner of ice and fire! In this episode, we cover Tyrion II to Sansa I, and a lot happens. Funny Renly wins the internet epic style. Joffrey can SING. What? Also we've made a Patreon account, so please consider becoming a patron and supporting our podcast! https://www.patreon.com/bitethisonions Also, a small announcement from us! Actually, 2!  1. We are currently trying to get approved for iTunes, so pra...

Ep. 3 / AGOT - Thyrions

July 20, 2018 02:31 - 1 hour - 131 MB

Good morning onion biters :) In this episode, we cover Tyrion I to Ned II. Also, this episode features 2 official BTO apologies. The first is for spreading misinformation regarding Dothraki culture in episode 1. The second you're reading right now - Jadzia is sorry for eating candy for like half the episode and thinking no one would notice. We hope you enjoy! Send asks :( http://bitethisonionspodcast.tumblr.com also consider becoming a patreon donor!!! :P https://www.patreon.com/bitethis...

Ep. 2 / AGOT - "I'm Upset" - Jon Snow (2018) (Young Bastard Entertainment)

July 20, 2018 02:24 - 1 hour - 134 MB

Jon Snow, aged 14, is a bastard. He has no mom and now that the bastards have stopped reading, here is the real episode description: in this episode, we covered Jon I to Bran II, and kept the episode under 2 hours! Yeah baby! PLEASE send us asks at http://bitethisonionspodcast.tumblr.com . Please.  

Ep. 1 / AGOT - Neddit.com

July 20, 2018 02:16 - 2 hours - 173 MB

Look... this is our first podcast, so this session was a little shaky. Jadzia, who is very smart, didn't take enough notes. Anyways, in this episode, we cover the prologue to Eddard I, half of what we meant to cover in the original planning since we didn't think we'd talk as much as we actually did! We hope you enjoy!