Birth Mother Matters in Adoption 12: Grief & Loss in Adoption Part 1 of 3

Grief & Loss In Adoption: Part One : Birth Mothers

“There are two different kinds of strength. There’s the strength to make a parenting plan and then there’s the strength to give that plan to another.”
Unknown

Birth Mothers do experience grief and not to acknowledge it would be unfair to those experiencing grief and negligent on behalf of society.  To understand birth mother/ birth father grief is to acknowledge part of the process of adoption.  Adoption is a beautiful choice for an unplanned pregnancy, but it is never an easy one; especially for the woman who resembles the tree trunk of adoption; without a birth mother there is no adoptee and no adoptive parents. 

Grief and loss in adoption is something that is not often talked about; but is needs to be for so many reasons.  Adoption is beautiful, but with every high there is a low.  Grief can be outlined in stages and stages of grief are not always experienced sequentially and they can be revisited as well. Kübler-Ross outlines the Stages of Grief as :  1) Denial 2)Anger 3) Bargaining 4) Depression 5)Acceptance.

Birth mothers’ grief; what we need to know:

Understanding that grief is part of the adoption journey and she needs to be helped through it. Ways that may help inclide; working through the stages of grief, learning her triggers, find coping methods, counseling, joing a support group, focus on self-care, excersize when medically cleared, find a group of other birth mothers.

If you are listening and you are dealing with an unplanned pregnancy and want more information about adoption, we are a local Arizona Adoption Agency and we are available 24/7 by phone or text at (623) 695-4112.