Birdhands

Pee Wee's Big Adventure - Birdhands Episode 150

Doctor Birdhands! Paging Doctor Birdhands! You have a telephone call at the front desk. Join us as we watch something good for a change. This week we gush over our childhood hero and favorite film of our young lives, "Pee Wee's Big Adventure". It's all about the love this week!

Halloween Kills - Birdhands Episode 149

Our good pal Michael Myers is back! In POG form! Actually in streaming form. So we won't have to wait for the latest offering from the long running Halloween franchise. This is the 12th so far in the series so coming up with new ideas will be key to making this film a success with its die hard fan base. Go get subscribed to Peacock and watch along with us.

Galaxy of Terror - Birdhands Episode 148

The longest 81 minutes of our lives. Galaxy of Terror. Too crappy to compete with Alien, too slick to compete with The Galaxy Invader.

Tales From The Darkside - Birdhands Episode 147

Three tales of horror from the gang that brought you Creepshow. That alone should reel in some horror fans. But for some reason this just doesn't compare to Creepshow 1 or 2 but is still a decent watch. A bit slower pace than most anthologies but it does have great production values and an all star cast. Grab some generic cookies and join us in the Birdhole as we watch this nostalgia trip.

House of Frankenstein - Birdhands Episode 146

Five monsters for the price of one? What a value! Especially during World War 2 when escapism and saving money was welcome. But even the mighty Universal Monster series eventually got stale and decided to put all their eggs into one basket. But are these eggs golden or rotten? The smell of sulfur is flowing out of the Birdhole as we enter, the House of Frankenstein!

Slumber Party Massacre 3 - Birdhands Episode 145

It happened this many times? People need to ban slumber parties if this keeps taking place. But then we could not have our special sleepovers in the Birdhole. And then life would not be worth living. So pull up a sleeping bag and get out the Smores, as we view Slumber Party Massacre 3.

Men at Work - Birdhands Episode 144

This week on Birdhands we watch the movie that inspired us to become garbage men! Men at Work!

Hell of the Living Dead aka Virus - Birdhands Episode 143

Hell of the Living Dead goes by many titles. But it should be called "Dawn of the Zomble" because it is a mix of Fulci and Romero but directed by Ed Wood. It is really bad, but also good in a guilty pleasure way. But then again we like strange things here in the Birdhole. So strap on a strap on and prepare to be violated by this early eighties zombie turd.

Evil Dead - Birdhands Episode 142

Evil Dead is one of the most loved films of the 80's. To me it represents a changing of the guard in terms of directing styles. Sam Raimi was a fresh young filmmaker at the time and was surrounded by other youthful talent that was willing to rough it just to make a 16mm horror film. Seeing what was going to be put onscreen in terms of gore, it is surprising they were able to get this film made in the first place. Today on Birdhands we watch 1981's Evil Dead with fresh eyes to see what all t...

Rawhead Rex - Birdhands Episode 141

The Prey - Birdhands Episode 140

The Prey kind of falls under the genre of movie that you see the box every time you went to the video store in the 80's, but never rent it until it was a 99 cent rental. Being a strange young fellow I actually did rent this and actually was a bit freaked out by it. The quiet soundtrack and slow pace were quite intense for a seven year old. Then again I was still scared of the chocolate pie baker falling down the stairs on Sesame Street at that age. Join us in the Birdhole as we pitch a tent...

Cool As Ice - Birdhands Episode 139

Birdhands is back with a brand new invention. Well, not brand new but at least 65 percent new jokes are featured in this weeks watch along of the 1991 classic, "Cool As Ice".  

Beware! The Blob - Birdhands Episode 138

The Fly 1986 - Birdhands Episode 137

Time to get into some hometown horror. In fact this may be one of the best Canadian horror movies of all time. Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum are incredible in this 1986 Science Fiction gross out classic. Some of the most repulsive visual effects you will ever see are in this movie. We already have our buzz on, so hang on to your fingernails and get ready to take a trip, on "The Fly".

Mac and Me - Birdhands Episode 136

If you think that you can take the formula that made 1982's "E.T." a major box office smash and recreate it without the talent of Steven Speilberg and Industrial Light and Magic then you are wrong. Dead wrong. In fact, this week on Birdhands we will present the evidence to back up this claim. "Mac and Me" is what you get when believe that money can replace heart and passion. Just because Ronald McDonald and Coca Cola have you covered it does not mean you will come out on top. Trust us. It i...

Degrassi Marathon 3 - Birdhands Episode 135

This week on Birdhands we watch four more classic Degrassi episodes. Degrassi Junior High Season 2 - Episodes 6 and 11 Degrassi High Season 1 Episode 14 and Season 2 Episode 7 Sync yourself up! You've got a new friend!

Troll 2 - Birdhands Episode 134

Oh My Gaaaaawwwwwwdddddd! This movie sucks.

Halloween H20 - Birdhands Episode 133

Remember the first time the creators of Halloween decided to ask the fans to forget particular installments in the series? Well, it was 23 years ago and they did it again a few decades later. But nothing beats the original slap to the audiences faces and the Birdhands gang was there on opening night to witness Jamie Lee Curtis' return to the role she was destined to milk for the rest of her life. At the time, "Halloween H20" was like a sunny day after a long cold winter. But now it is more ...

Dawn of the Dead 1978 – Birdhands Episode 132

We got this man! We got this by the ass! We sure do. The original "Dawn of the Dead" is one of the greatest and epic horror movies ever made. And yes this is the one that Generation Z usually refer to as the "more boring one" compared to the remake. But to anyone who remembers renting this on VHS from a local video store in the old days, it is the film that blew your mind. Seeing this for the first time was so amazing that it is an experience that I try and repeat by getting other people to...

Shivers AKA The Parasite Murders - Birdhands Episode 131

David Cronenberg is a Canadian icon. This week on Birdhands we discuss various parasites we have had and also the ones that are featured in this movie. Make sure to wear protection, and join us as we get "Shivers".

A Nightmare on Elm Street 5 - Birdhands Episode 130

This week we jump into the lower end of the Elm Street franchise. Not the lowest, but very low. Join us as we give birth to a mutant Freddy as we watch - A Nightmare on Elm Street 5

The Howling - Birdhands Episode 129

Werewolves were all the rage in 1981. Everywhere you went people were howling at the moon and transforming into hairy beasts. Kind of sounds like any given night in the Birdhole except our silver bullets are suppositories at this point not a six pack of Coors Light. But that's okay as we will be watching a true classic this week. It contains some of the best looking creature effects for any era by Rob Bottin. Join us as we give you a piece of our minds while we watch and listen to, "The How...

Friday the 13th Part 2 - Birdhands Episode 128

Everything was riding on the follow up to the original surprise smash hit "Friday the 13th" in 1981. I don't think they could have imagined at the time that there would be ten more sequels after this was released. It was probably just considered a quick cash grab. But they somehow pulled it off and created one of the longest running movie series in history. Is this one of the best? Join us in the Birdhole as we watch and discuss the important things in life as we witness - Friday the 13th P...

No Holds Barred - Birdhands Episode 127

It is a mystery why Hulk Hogan is named Rip in this awful film. I could see if he was a character like the Undertaker where the "rest in piece" connection could be made but even then it seems weird. To me it would be like Disney making a movie with Mickey Mouse and him being named Darren Smith or something other than Mickey. But that is not the only puzzling thing in this movie. Join us as we train, say our prayers, and take our vitamins as we battle through watching "No Holds Barred".

Slumber Party Massacre 2 - Birdhands Episode 126

What did we just watch? I have to say that "Slumber Party Massacre 2" is the easily the greatest thing since "Slumber Party Massacre 1" and that is the God's truth. But sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. And that is the case with this film which might be the longest 75 minutes of all time. So charge up your drill guitar and get ready to rock out with your Birdhands out!

Diff'rent Strokes - Birdhands Episode 125

What was Willis talking about? We get to the bottom of that mystery as well as many others that have haunted us since childhood on this weeks very special episode of Birdhands. We jump into the fire with a four episode binge of Diff'rent Strokes. We will be watching Season 4 Episode 2, Season 5 Episode 1 and 2, and Season 7 Episode 1. So dig those ones up and join us as we move the world. Hmmmmmm!  

Critters 2 - Birdhands Episode 124

This week on Birdhands we crack into a franchise that does not get the respect it probably deserves. While it may be remembered mainly for the first two films in the series, every kid in the 80's knew all about these lovable creatures. Join us as we travel through time and remember how we wasted our childhood years watching gems like "Critters 2 - The Main Course".

Weird Science - Birdhands Episode 123

We all know we would create Kelly LeBrock on our home computers if we could. You can't though, we tried and it backfired horribly. A melting Barbie doll burnt down half of the Birdhole. But we found a way to still watch this 1980's teen classic where the greatest older brother character ever steals the show. Join us with a bra on your head as we watch: Weird Science!

Jaws: The Revenge - Birdhands Episode 122

Come mister tally man tally me banana. This film is not only one of the worst sequels in film history, but also responsible for ruining the Banana Boat song by Harry Belafonte. Every time I hear it I think of the people getting eaten by Jaws in this movie. I presume it is Jaws. Or at least his son. Why else does he have such a grudge for the Brody family? I wonder if Jaws is also stalking Richard Dreyfuss? These are the answers the world needs right now. And we at Birdhands are here to give...

Miami Connection - Birdhands Episode 121

Friends forever. That is our mantra down here in the bowels of the Birdhole. But we have never had a theme song to go along with it. That all changed when we feasted our eyeholes on this lost gem of a film. The unfortunately fictional band "Dragon Sound" is only the icing on this messy but delicious cake. It seems like the result you would get if you had a focus group of people who never made a movie and asked them all what would make a movie awesome. The answer would be everything  And only...

Freddy vs. Jason - Birdhands Episode 120

Freddy vs. Jason is a schoolyard conversation and debate that was had by every child of the eighties come to life on the silver screen. Only thing is, it was twenty years too late and times had changed with movie audiences. Not really for the better either. This is really just an Elm Street movie with a guest appearance by Jason Voorhees. No respect for the Jason character at all. But I do remember the hype around this when it was released and we saw it opening night. But how will it hold u...

King Kong Vs Godzilla (Criterion) - Birdhands Episode 119

The more things change, the more they stay the same. It has been a whopping sixty years since the worlds biggest and feared monsters collided on screen, and they are about to do it again. Godzilla Vs Kong will be released on video on demand next week. But it already happened in this classic Toho film which marked Godzilla's third outing and one of his last as a bad guy. It has quite possibly the worst monster suit ever put in a major movie. Kong is just awful looking from any angle. That be...

Cheerleader Camp - Birdhands Episode 118

Why are we watching this movie? It's called Cheerleader Camp. That's it!

C.H.U.D. - Birdhands Episode 117

Is CHUD a DUD? Find out this and many things more on this weeks episode.

Creepshow - Birdhands Episode 116

Creepshow is one of the few movies that kind of falls into its own category. If you had to describe it to someone who has never heard of it, you would find it hard to explain exactly what it is. The tagline on the poster is bang on, "The Most Fun You'll Ever Have Being Scared". That is very accurate. Nothing in this film is meant to be taken all that seriously, but the material and everyone involved with it show it complete respect. George Romero's reputation as an indie underdog often overs...

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation - Birdhands Episode 115

Dog will hunt! We at Birdhands have been coming up short in our hunt for a decent movie in the last few years. Our success rate is about 2 percent to date. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation" is a truly awful film that only really exists to prove to the world that Matthew McConaughey is an amazing actor. I think that this could be an example of the most professional actor alive. Most would not want to stand out in a movie like this but he goes full on method actor no matter how ba...

Hellraiser - Birdhands Episode 114

Hellraiser is Clive Barker's most well known work to date. But the author turned director was not very happy with film he made. Which is strange because it was a hit with horror fans almost instantly when released. It's a shame that the many awful sequels that were made mostly without Barker's involvement really brought the franchise down a few notches.  The real eye candy of the film are the Cenobites that appear mostly in the final moments of the movie. They are the reason that it is such ...

Police Academy 4: Citizens On Patrol - Birdhands Episode 113

Ba ba ba na na ba ba baaaa! The Blue Oyster song would send people into hysterics back in the mid-eighties. Now it just seems puzzling how the police did not know their district all that well. But it was still fun to see what kind of hijinks this cast of characters would get into every year when a new installment would come out. This was the last one that is fondly remembered by most. Kids everywhere loved these movies and I guess adults didn't mind them either. But will they hold up and be...

Class of Nuke 'Em High - Birdhands Episode 112

Birdhands has been a victim of peer pressure. We have been asked to do this movie in a forceful way and feel bullied into watching this turd. That's okay with us though as we have sat in, and through bigger turds than this so we can handle it. Troma movies are in a class all their own. Somewhat entertaining but also like they are trying to make a bad movie because they lack the balls to make a good one. Like hipsters that tell you that they only listen to obscure music you have never heard o...

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 - Birdhands Episode 111

Garbage Day! This week we tackle the holiday classic that was a meme before they were invented. Eyebrows and amazing line delivery are on the menu for this very special episode of Birdhands!

The Happening - Birdhands Episode 110

What's happening in the world today? Everything and everyone has gone insane. Seems like the only answer to normalize things in the Birdhole is some Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. Or Mark Wahlberg as he calls himself now. In this world disaster themed movie he plays a somewhat slow school teacher who has to try and survive some unknown suicide epidemic. Join us as we spread some good vibrations across the world as we view, "The Happening".

Final Destination 5 - Birdhands Episode 109

Final Destination is a film series that doesn't take itself too seriously. And sometimes that is just what the doctor ordered. Not every movie needs to be art. But the bridge sequence at the start of Final Destination 5 is a masterpiece. The rest of the film is really nothing special, but is the perfect way to spend some time and have a few laughs along the way. I think that most people kind of buy in to the idea that when our time to leave earth comes, it was meant to be and cannot be cheat...

A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master - Birdhands Episode 108

Are you ready for Freddy? We sure are. It is a new year and a fresh start to make all our dreams come true. Last year was a Nightmare even Freddy could not have dreamt up. This film was the first in the franchise that I saw in the theater. The success was at its peak and this movie was a reflection of that. The energy of "Dream Warriors" is gone and Freddy is now not really a menacing figure. More of a game show host with the prizes being special effects sequences. And while all the effects ...

Pieces 1982 - Birdhands Episode 107

Black Christmas 1974 - Birdhands Episode 106

It's me Billy! Actually it's Birdhands who is making those obscene phone calls and living in the attic. But we are still ready to watch a Canadian horror classic for the holidays. Black Christmas is the original slasher movie and is not given the credit is deserves. Usually "Halloween" is cited as the film that launched the splatter craze. And while there is not much in the way of splatter and gore, there is mood, atmosphere, and suspense. Join us as we celebrate, Black Christmas.

Gremlins - Birdhands Episode 105

Is Gremlins a Christmas movie? Is Gremlins a horror movie? Is Gremlins a comedy? Gremlins is all of the above and more. Combining old school story telling with top of the line special effects of the mid 80's you get a timeless masterpiece of cinema. Yes it's true! We are watching a good movie this week on Birdhands. Prepare to go back in time when you wanted a Mogwai for Christmas and got a Popple instead. A classic that still stands on it's own two feet, but is better with Birdhands.

Child's Play 2 - Birdhands Episode 104

Sorry Jack, Birdhands are back! The truth is we never really left. We are confined to the Birdhole and decided to dip into some more sequels to keep us and you entertained. The Child's Play franchise is really a hit or miss group of movies. The good thing is that even if they are not great films, just seeing the artistry that went into bringing the doll to life makes them worth watching. They dump the suspense from the first film and go full on Chucky for this entry as it seems that is what...

Teen Wolf 1985 - Birdhands Episode 103

This week on Birdhands we go back to the future, or is it the past? Maybe we should just jump on top of our van and blast the Beach Boys as we car surf down the main strip. I don't think we could handle that amount of excitement anymore. But what we can handle is a healthy dose of Michael J. Fox and werewolves. So this week won't you join us as we get sent back to the good old days of 1985 as we watch Teen Wolf!

Halloween 6 Producer's Cut - Birdhands Episode 102

Halloween 6 is one of the strangest movies ever made. The fork in the road where you try and go a different direction but his a brick wall. They easily could have just forgot about the whole mystery man in black story and rebooted the franchise, but no. They doubled down on a losing hand and lost everything. For this to be the last appearance for Dr. Loomis is a real shame. For years people thought that the studio interference during this production was the reason for it being so messed up. ...

My Bloody Valentine 1981 - Birdhands Episode 101

Every day is Valentine's Day in the Birdhole. But today we choo-choo choose you as our special someone. We have some chocolates and flowers that are almost as old as this movie with your name on them. This overlooked slasher film is more than a Canadian tax write off. It has some of the more creative kills you will see in a horror film from this era. So put on a red dress and a gas mask and be My Bloody Valentine!