When it's time to move to Hong Kong and impress high-priced hookers with your husbandry, debating whether or not you would chop off your penis and change your name for a network show, forgetting the Alamo to savor burritos, what happens to filmmakers who never get a big break because big breaks don't exist, why Corey Feldman hasn't Skyped in yet, and somewhere along the line some movies are mentioned.

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