Kennel Kelp Holistic Healing Hour How Does Ostracism Affect The Elderly Brain?

Are You Feeling Family Separation Anxiety?

Do You or Another Elderly Person or Family Member Feel Ostracized?

Ostracism+Exclusion or ostracism is so painful because it threatens this need and the core of our self-esteem.Coping can mean the person tries to harder be included. For example, they may try to engage in behaviors that might foster acceptance: mimicking, complying, obeying orders, cooperating or expressing attraction.

If this tactic doesn’t work, and hope for inclusion is lost, people stop worrying about being liked and decide they just want to be noticed. In this stage, they may resort to provocative behavior and even aggression.

However, if a person has been ostracized for a long time, people can’t continue to cope with the pain and often eventually give up. This is the third stage, called resignation.

The third stage is called resignation. In some people who have been ostracized, they become less helpful and more aggressive to others in general. They also may feel an increase in anger and sadness. “Long-term ostracism can result in alienation, depression, helplessness, and feelings of unworthiness.”

When a person feels ostracized they feel out of control, and aggressive behavior is one way to restore that control.

Here are some tips if you have experienced ostracism:

Seek a safe, supportive therapist, counselor or wise friend who can help you traverse the pain. Seek out healthy individuals who are accepting, healthy and supportive. We also need to be aware (and teach our kids) that ostracism hurts people as deeply, if not more so, than a physical wound.
Sometimes, ostracism happens unintentionally and for no reason, in this case. When you are feeling composed and confident it’s important to stand up for yourself and remind the other person that you are also important.
Being lighthearted and finding humor in these situations may pay off. By understanding that nothing catastrophic happened by someone else ignoring and excluding you can help improve your mood.

At the Amen Clinics, we have compassionate therapists who may be able to help you find peace, self-esteem, and acceptance after a painful ostracizing, shunning or other experience of being excluded. We may also be able to suggest exercises, supplements, and if needed, medication to help.

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