Beauty and Da Beast Podcast w/ Joey Diaz and Felicia Michaels
100 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 11 years ago - ★★★★★ - 1.1K ratingsJoey "Coco" Diaz, a veteren stand-up comic who has appeared in the movies "Spiderman 2", "Taxi" and "The Longest Yard" is paired perfectly with stand-up comic Felicia Michaels who has appeared on Showtime, MTV and Comedy Central. Diaz and Michaels supply laugh out loud black and blue comedy that will arouse young and old audiences alike. Get off the Xanax, stop popping Paxils and download this podcast - it will change your life!
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Episodes
You Gotta Listen To The Audience - Episode 113 w/ Ritch Shydner
November 09, 2012 21:57 - 1 hour - 64.1 MBHooray! Comic extraordinaire Ritch Shydner joins us! Uncle Joey's Party Tip #1: Never do coke with a guy wearing a wig, C*cksuckas!!!
Kickin' It Old Skool - Episode 112 w/ Joey Diaz and Felicia Michaels
November 02, 2012 23:17 - 48 minutes - 44.6 MBFirst off, our hearts go out to our east coast listeners! Second thing, thanks to all our listeners for nominating us for a podcast award! Thirdly - stop making fun of Carney workers, it's really starting to hurt Joey's feelings. www.podcastawards.com Voting is open!
Stop Touching My Junk! Episode 111 w/ Ari Shaffir
October 26, 2012 16:40 - 1 hour - 59.7 MBSome people think the TSA stands for the Transportation Security Administration, others like Ari Shaffir, think it stands for Thousands Standing Around. As always we think he makes a pretty dang good point!
Hooray, It's Tagalog Time! w/ Edwin San Juan
October 19, 2012 05:40 - 1 hour - 59.3 MBWanna know what it's like to leave the seminary, look celibacy in the eye, tell it to go screw itself, then do an open mic? Take a listen to the always funny Edwin San Juan!!!
Ghetto Thoughts - Episode 109
October 12, 2012 07:17 - 57 minutes - 52.7 MBEureka - Everything you wanted to know about vapor technologies...
Failure To Appear - Episode 108 w/ George Perez
October 08, 2012 06:43 - 1 hour - 60.6 MBGeorge Perez stops by the studio to chat about the struggles and triumph of getting off parole.
Sorry I Went On A Tangent! Episode 107 w/ Chris McGuire
September 27, 2012 04:55 - 1 hour - 35.8 MBOur guest this week is none other than Head Writer and Executive Producer of Comedy Central's The Burn... Mr. Chris McGuire!!!
That's Not Going Anywhere - Episode 106 w/ Brody Stevens
September 21, 2012 04:43 - 1 hour - 157 MBFrom HBO.com's "Enjoy It" Mr. Brody Stevens.
An Army Of Little Pricks - Episode 105 w/ Dr. Amy
September 13, 2012 01:57 - 53 minutes - 25.2 MBHooray, it's our first remote! We visit the office of Joey's accupuncturist, Dr. Amy and discuss how her little army of pricks helped Madflavor.
Can A Player Get Some Conversation!?! Episode 104 w/ Bert Kreischer
September 06, 2012 15:13 - 1 hour - 36 MBBert "The Machine" Kreischer stops by the studio and reminds of us the first rule of comedy - what ever works, WORKS!!!
You're In No Danger Here - Episode 103 W/ Maz Jobrani
August 31, 2012 03:59 - 1 hour - 61 MBBeware of the man selling the rug, and if he offers you a cup of tea - RUN! With special guest Maz Jobrani!!!
Dear God, Just Don't Let It Happen Here... Episode 102 with Ari Shaffir
August 15, 2012 13:49 - 1 hour - 98.6 MBI forgot to take my blood pressure medicine! And other lines one mumbles to a flight attendant on a plane after eating an edible. Ari Shaffir IS IN THE HOUSE!!!
Where Am I Going? Episode 101 w/ Christina Pazsitzky
August 09, 2012 19:19 - 1 hour - 86.9 MBFellow podcaster and hilarious broad, Christina Pazsitzky joins us as we ponder such thoughts as, is a vagina really just an upside down pyramid scheme?
I Gotta Get Organized - Episode 100 w/ Steven Bauer
July 30, 2012 10:01 - 1 hour - 141 MBActor Steven Bauer joins us to discuss all things SCARFACE! It's our 100th episode BITCHES!!!
Quick As You Can, Snatch The Pebble From My Hand - Episode 99 w/ Little Esther aka Esther Povitsky
July 23, 2012 14:46 - 1 hour - 131 MBMadFlavor: Close your eyes, what do you hear grasshopper? Lil' Esther: I hear a drunk in the corner, and the other comics in the back waiting to go on. MadFlavor: Do you hear your own hearbeat? Esther: No. MadFlavor: Do you hear the laughter which is at your feet?Esther: Madflavor, how is it that you hear these things?MadFlavor: Cuz' I've been doing it long enough C*CKSUCKER!!! Hooray! Comic and all around sweet girl, Lil' Esther joins us for a roundtable discussion about loving your life as...
I Gotta Be Me - Episode 98 w/ Tom Dreesen
July 16, 2012 12:37 - 1 hour - 56.8 MBLook I'll play a phone booth, if you promise to call. There's only one man we know of, who's appeared on the Tonight Show 60 times and was Sinatra's opening act for well over a decade. Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Tom Dreesen. Brought to you by Audible.com and BallCancerSucks.com
Keep Punching BABY! Episode 97
July 09, 2012 16:21 - 59 minutes - 82 MBBoxing trainer Macka Foley joins us to talk about his favorite client James Franco, jobs you can find in the back of a flower shop and all things shady. Brought to you by www.AudiblePodcast.com/badb and www.BallCancerSucks.com
I'm Going To Make You An Offer You Can't Refuse! Episode 96
July 03, 2012 15:04 - 1 hour - 87.4 MBHow am I going to be Charles Bronson when I gotta change diapers!?! We are joined by Terri Diaz, Joey's lady love.. It's a very special 4th of July episode B*TCHES!!! Brought to you by Audible.com and BallCancerSucks.com
Now You Got Me All Fired UP! Episode 95
June 28, 2012 22:58 - 1 hour - 95.4 MBComedian Josh Wolf from Chelsea Lately, waxes poetic with us over wounded stingrays, peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches, and the woman who loved to take pictures of her one horny broken eye. Psst...sometimes life loves to take little Joey Diaz for a ride!
We Got This! Episode 94
June 25, 2012 19:51 - 59 minutes - 82.2 MBLooking for words of wisdom? Uncle Joey says, "You have to spread those legs to get some dick!" Honestly, I have no idea who that woman is climbing the fence and screaming, "JOS ANTONIO, YOU DIDN'T MAKE YOUR BED THIS MORNING!" We're kicking it old school this week c*cksuckers!
Helmet Juice and Water - Episode 93 w/ Bert Kreischer
June 18, 2012 06:26 - 1 hour - 103 MBBert "The Machine" Kreischer joins us as we chat about Lobster Fra Diovolo being the ultimate leg spreader, who has the aim of a poet, and why "Wow, I really don't care anymore..." is a way better feeling then falling in love.
It's Getting Heavy Duty Up In Here - Episode 92 w/ Duncan Trussell
June 11, 2012 06:56 - 1 hour - 131 MBWhat does Marcus Aurelius, ball-gags, Buddha and crabs have in common you ask? Duncan Mutha F*ckin Trussell!!!
Pillgrimage Episode 91 w/ Josh Adam Meyers
June 02, 2012 23:06 - 1 hour - 98.7 MBNot for nuthin, but those are my balls you're squeezing - not a blood pressure machine. Um, I'm going to lay down on the floor, wake me up one minute before I gotta hit the stage. We were more then friends, we were each other's insurance policy. With special guest Josh Adam Meyers.
Just Sit Tight And Keep Playing Lynyrd Skynyrd!!! Episode 90 w/ Gary Myrick
May 27, 2012 22:19 - 1 hour - 89.8 MBThis ain't no Jimmy Buffet concert cock sucka, we're leaving NOW! And other things people yell during the middle of a grift. With guitarest extraordinaire Gary Myrick, who illuminates for us the Austin music scene of the seventies.
That's Just How My Head Works - Episode 89 w/ Mick Betancourt
May 19, 2012 21:19 - 1 hour - 102 MBI mean honestly, how many times do I gotta ask a California Douche bag to stop kicking the back of my chair!?! C'mon, we want to see your real album collection, the one in the closet near the bottom of the pile. With special guest Law and Order writer, producer and stand up comic Mick Betancourt. Last but not least, all the fun little places you can spritz a little Hai Karate in a pinch.
I Like The Way The Scene Is Playing - Episode 88 w/ Rocco Urbisci
May 12, 2012 06:11 - 1 hour - 90.7 MBLet's cut to the chase. When Richard Pryor says to you, "After you're done wiping, do you think you could drive yourself over to Columbia Studios to help me work on a script?" You put the crossword puzzle down, flush the toilet and haul ass into Hollywood. Writer, Director, Producer Rocco Urbisci drops by and chats about all things Pryor and Carlin. Oh, and by the way, it's milk milk lemonade TIME!!!
Despite All My Rage - Episode 87 w/ Willie Barcena
May 04, 2012 20:45 - 1 hour - 110 MBComic extraordinaire and all around cool cat, Willie Barcena drops by and shares his thoughts on why mice attack, cows that jog, and learning in the nick of time how to turn your back on anger. Brought to you by Tainted Visions Art.
Forever In Your Debt - Episode 86 w/ Salvatore Polisi
May 01, 2012 05:55 - 1 hour - 132 MBScrew it! We ain't gonna make thirty.. You mean I dug the grave for nothing!?! It's true, in some circles the man who eats the hole turns to the pole. And yes, a bleeding ulcer can help a fella out during a bank heist. We are joined by Salvatore Polisi, former mobster and witness for the prosecution that imprisoned John Gotti, stops by the studio and chit-chats about infamous mobsters, and how he eventually opted out of the witness protection program. Brought to you by Tainted Vision Arts
Off And Running - Like A Doctor! Episode 85 w/ Felipe Esparza
April 21, 2012 15:30 - 1 hour - 85.3 MBHey, you got fifty and I can get forty, let's go partners on a package! Things to do with a gas mask when you're bored. Going to Houston? You better take some vitamins and start doing some push-ups now. What can we tell you, the Devil likes to eat out... With very special guest Felipe Esparza!
Let's Do This! - Episode 84 w/ Emilio Rivera from Sons of Anarchy
April 14, 2012 07:01 - 1 hour - 74.2 MBPsst... You need some drugs, or a couple of easy women? No thanks, but do you know where I can get a good sandwhich? Look, I know you're trying to teach me about artistic truth and emotional recall, but it's starting to feel like you're clowning me. Hey, If you're going to shake me down, at least be a man and bring a gun. Red lights never counted, when Uncle Joey needed a package! With very special guest, actor Emilio Rivera from Sons of Anarchy.
I Won't Even Pace Myself - Episode 83 w/ Vinnie Curto
April 07, 2012 16:14 - 1 hour - 93.2 MBSometimes, linguine and clam sauce can save the day. Don't worry, your father's going to be allright...And other mumblings from a stone cold killer. Hooray! Sinatra just called and heard you had a problem. Look, here's all the juice you paid, but don't get me wrong - I gotta keep the principle. If all else fails, jab to the face, drop your right hand to the body, and bring your left hook up to the chin. This week's guest is former World Boxing Federation Super Cruiserweight Champion - Vinnie...
The Slippery Slope - Episode 82 w/ Jeff Sherman
March 30, 2012 15:54 - 57 minutes - 79.5 MBWhat does Joey Diaz, The Captain and Tennille, a "Spoonful Of Sugar," and comic Wendy Liebman have in common!?! Mr. Cool Cat himself... Producer Jeff Sherman.
I'm Gonna Make Him An Offer He Can't Refuse - Episode 81 w/ Nicholas Turturro
March 22, 2012 16:01 - 1 hour - 32.7 MBI'm DONE! But, If you need me I'll be back.. The story of the little speedbag that could. What sport league was the most romantic, you ask? The ABA BITCHES!!! The girl who needed to believe that Noriega was downstairs. With special guest, Emmy Award nominated actor Nicholas Turturro! Sweet Lord, this episode is FANF*CKINGTASTIC!
Who Shot Bobby LUPO!?! - Episode 80 w/ Ed Soares
March 15, 2012 23:24 - 1 hour - 110 MBSo...You're at your desk, hacking away, feverishly wishing that Beauty and Da Beast would devote a whole episode to all things MMA. YOU GOT IT BITCHES!!! With very special guest, Anderson Silva's manager himself, Ed Soares!
Stop With The Tongue - Break Out The Helmet ALREADY! Episode 79 w/ Brian Redban
March 09, 2012 00:42 - 1 hour - 101 MBExcuse me, is this an open mic or an Al-Anon meeting? The disturbing story of the young man who quit comedy on the day Bob Hope died. Ladies and gentlemen, the man, the Buckeye, Mr. Deathsquad himself... Brian Redban!
You Gotta Crush It Right Outta Da Gate!!! Episode 78 w/ Brody Stevens
March 05, 2012 06:15 - 1 hour - 106 MBWhat can we tell you, some people will eat a scab off a knee. The few, the proud, the men who use baby wipes when they go boom boom... With very special guest, Pakistan's number one model, comic extraodinaire - Brody Stevens!!!
What Was In That Stuff!?! Episode 77 w/ Josh Wolf
February 26, 2012 09:37 - 1 hour - 28.8 MBLook, man to man... That chick in the negligee looks like Joey Diaz in a wig, you gotta get me outta here!!! With special guest Josh Wolf, from Chelsea Lately.
Hah! I Got All Y'All Suckas! Episode 76 W/ Ali LeRoi
February 17, 2012 19:15 - 1 hour - 30.8 MBHooray, Joey's back from knee surgery!!! Television producer, writer and director Ali LeRoi joins us and talks about going against the grain, wanting to send love letters to Lyle Waggoner and how he out punked Bernie Mac.
And That's How You Get Out Of The Check! Episode 75 w/ Bert Kreischer
February 11, 2012 06:18 - 1 hour - 120 MBHow to get a degree through the Florida State Prison System. The story of the idiot savant who shopped for porn. The woman who decreed, "Why I could just watch Joey Diaz eat crackers all day!!!" With special guest Bert Kreischer.
I Got Nowhere ElseTo Go - Episode 74 w/ Duncan Trussell
February 04, 2012 20:59 - 1 hour - 32.8 MBL.A. lesson number one, never be eighteen dollars away from a twenty! Cowards, Squares and Satan, oh my... The Comedy Store X-Files: The Paul Mooney Complaint Folder. And finally, the story of the Automaton that could channel the underworld. Special Guest Duncan Trussell!!!
I Paid You 40 Dollars - And All I Get Is Teeth!?! Episode 73 w/ Ralphie May
January 28, 2012 05:29 - 1 hour - 110 MBAhh, the good old days near the corner of Gardner and Sunset Boulevard... Go out with nothing, back at home by 8:30, with the cops looking for you, an eight ball, 100 dollars in your pocket, and the smell of p*ssy on your face. WHO'S BETTER THEN JOEY DIAZ!?! With special guest Ralphie May.
The Artichoke Of The Monkey - Episode 72 w/ Danielle Stewart
January 23, 2012 21:49 - 50 minutes - 69.5 MBJoey and Felicia talk about their favorite guests, soap opera drama and the felon who loved his gas can. Who are these funny women, and why won't they stop pitching a fit? Plus, a delicious bonus piece from the Midnight Mass Upstream with special guest Danielle Stewart.
Dope Rips And Crime Scenes - Episode 71
January 15, 2012 04:25 - 59 minutes - 55.7 MBWhat do vaginal meshes, cocaine vaseline, drive by shootings, flak vests, riots, bank take-overs, perps, gangs, autopsies and tantric sex - all have in common? Our first law and order episode BITCHES!!! And seriously, you did not just drop BIGGIE!?!
I'm Sorry, Did My Back Hurt Your Knife? Episode 70
January 06, 2012 06:59 - 51 minutes - 24.1 MBUncle Joey and the Korean lady who became the kiss of death. The fart heard around the world. Sure, it's all fun and games until an angry mob of teenagers chase you down. It's a music episode BITCHES!!!
Tweak Mission - Episode 69 w/ Felipe Esparza
December 28, 2011 17:48 - 51 minutes - 24.1 MBWho's missing an ear!?! The problem with calling everybody out in the neighborhood. Felipe Esparza drops by and talks about his experiences with the "rocks of hell."
Joey's Tainted Vision Infomercial
December 27, 2011 22:22 - 3 minutes - 36.4 MB VideoJoey hawks the wares of our sponsor... Not to be missed. Taken from the Midnight Mass Live Special on 12/24/11
Don't Get High Off Your Own Supply - Episode 68 w/ Lux Kassidy
December 21, 2011 12:34 - 1 hour - 29.2 MBThe cookie Nazi returns. Joey goes deep on the Whitney Houston story. Special guest Vivid girl and erotic model Lux Kassidy!
No Really, My Dad Can Beat Up Your Dad! Episode 67 w/ Nina Manni
December 14, 2011 20:23 - 53 minutes - 24.9 MBDon't worry and don't say a word, because Abuela's going to save the day! For crying outloud, never google your parents! What do El Negro Marcello and Nick the Greek have in common? They'll peel off and give you some bills, when your Ma ain't looking. Comic Nina Manni drops by and talks about her experiences growing up as the daughter of a notorious Philly meth dealer.
I Swear, I'm Gonna Beat This - Episode 66 w/ George Perez
December 05, 2011 01:25 - 1 hour - 28.4 MBBored, need a drink, but you're locked up in Prison? All you need is a toilet, leftover fruit cocktail and a couple cubes of sugar - then it's PRUNO TIME BITCHES! Comic George Perez stops by and talks about what he learned about himself, after being sent to Wasco State Prison on Christmas Eve.
Accessory After The Fact - Episode 65 w/ Rick Ramos
November 28, 2011 03:28 - 1 hour - 31.7 MBWanna dodge the cops? Then act normal and walk like a civilian!!! The story about the man with the Mexican spine. Um, excuse me - can you Eddie Murphy it up a bit? Rick Ramos drops by to discuss, It Came From The Seventies... AKA Our slant on movie picks for the family during any holiday.