Barflys & Butterflies
118 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 2 years ago - ★★★★★ - 68 ratingsFour New York City friends and occasional guests of varying age, background, sexuality, etc. meet over drinks to discuss all topics life. The goal: to express themselves, enjoy each other's company, think and hopefully learn something in the process.
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Episodes
Attention
April 05, 2022 18:00 - 1 hour - 55 MBAfter a month long break, the fellas are back in a fun episode that goes all in on Attention. Ground covered includes an old pic of Brian’s ass featuring in Jamal’s recent breakup, the overwhelming competition for people’s attention, the difficulty of breaking through the signal-to-noise ratio, what grabs us enough to click and why, the share button as word of mouth, ADD/ADHD and Adderall, negative attention (embarrassment), Turkish Guy’s good looking yet non-photogenic family, breathing int...
Inspiration
March 02, 2022 14:00 - 1 hour - 51.2 MBThe fellas go all in on Inspiration, using the undeniably authentic courage shown by Ukraine's president as a jumping off point. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Diary of a Mad Man - Glory to Ukraine edition
March 02, 2022 14:00 - 58 minutes - 40 MBBrian talks all things Ukraine and why it matters to you. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Trust
February 01, 2022 20:00 - 1 hour - 55.3 MBThe fellas go all in on Trust. Ground covered includes Dan’s ramped up segue game, the (mis)information wars, the Joe Rogan/Spotify controversy, trust as a vital source of happiness, Moldova, the disproportionate response to inconvenience in America, the played out red/blue binary of our society, the confusing nature of random/unnecessary lies, the importance of logic/rationale/consistency in building trust, Britney Spears, the importance of friends who will always be straight with you, the ...
Anxiety
January 25, 2022 23:00 - 1 hour - 52.5 MBThe fellas go all in on Anxiety. Ground covered includes Dan's return to NYC, Brian’s inherited anxiety regarding time commitments, a Liam Neeson-less rendition of the movie ‘Taken’, sourcing in relation to anxiety, Earth Runners, American Utopia, positive forms of anxiety (pre-performance butterflies), the hell that is moving, the pitfalls of being too constricted or too loose, the technology-fueled creep of work life into personal time, ignoring all inner commentary after 10pm, the Sunday ...
Narrative
January 06, 2022 07:00 - 1 hour - 53.2 MBThe fellas go all in on Narrative. Ground covered includes buzzword overuse in everyday life, the devaluation of overworked language, the double edged sword of repetition, the mainstreaming of storytelling jargon and formulas, Jamal’s sexy underwear, the stories we tell in how we present ourselves, inside jokes as a form of layered narrative, everyone being the hero of their own story, inclusion/exclusion in narrative (IYKYK), the danger of weighting all information as equal, cherrypicking a...
Analytics
December 29, 2021 03:00 - 1 hour - 44.3 MBThe fellas go all in on Analytics. Ground covered includes Jamal’s return after a long hiatus, Ken’s dominant victory in fantasy football, triaging your day, analytics already present in our lives (screen time, steps, floors climbed, views, listens, likes, downloads, bank activity, etc), applying analytics to your personal life, memory as an untrustworthy narrator, fighting the last war, pattern recognition, Brian’s personal test from the Matrix, the vulnerability of data to be skewed to a d...
Boundaries
December 10, 2021 01:00 - 59 minutes - 40.9 MBThe fellas go all in on Boundaries in a very fun episode. Ground covered includes personal space, buffer zones, red lines, the potential Russian invasion of Ukraine, a whole lot of examples involving “friends”, trolling and provocation, texting style by age group, the importance of communication in establishing boundaries, the pitfalls of using clinical language in emotional situations, Dan’s hangry cat, the usefulness of resting bitch face, managing expectations, proportionality, the power ...
Gratitude
November 26, 2021 18:00 - 1 hour - 42.6 MBThe fellas go all in on Gratitude. Ground covered includes the emptiness of relative/negative gratitude, the awkwardness of dead people on Facebook, the performative underbelly of gratitude, Brian’s comeback vehicle for Katherine Heigl and himself, the ties between gratitude, guilt and selfishness, the overwhelming value of awareness and assessment, the human tendency to take things for granted, the personal nature of gratitude, spiritual bargaining and porcelain prayers, fiscally challenged...
Perception
November 18, 2021 08:00 - 1 hour - 50.1 MBThe fellas go all in on Perception, using the Kyle Rittenhouse trial as a jumping off point. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Diary of a Mad Man - Accountability edition
October 27, 2021 22:00 - 45 minutes - 31.1 MBBrian discusses the urgent need for true accountability surrounding the events of January 6th as the country continues its slow slide from a cold civil war to the other kind. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Instinct
October 19, 2021 22:00 - 1 hour - 46.7 MBThe fellas go all in on Instinct. Ground covered includes the differences between instinct, impulse and intuition, the society-wide butchering of the word ‘literally’, people who vocally turn every sentence into a question, red flags and their trending emojis, a cat’s ability to find the warmest spot in a room, krav maga, the value of not thinking, GT’s contribution to the corruption of a celebrity minor, the agony of too many choices, overpainting, the human conundrum of knowing when to tru...
Trolling
October 01, 2021 03:00 - 1 hour - 49.8 MBThe fellas go all in on Trolling. Ground covered includes Dan’s tough Fantasy Football weekend, the profits in professional trolling, clickbait, breaking the signal to noise ratio via controversy, the inherent trolling of advertising, Jessica Alba, fucking with your friends vs strangers, the rule differences of real life and online conflict, picking friends by their sense of humor, reverse trolling, vague trolling, the metaverse, proportionate response, friendships lost over internet fights,...
Doubt
September 21, 2021 18:00 - 1 hour - 50.5 MBThe fellas go all in on Doubt. Ground covered includes a rare semi-cold open featuring space monkeys and severe haircuts, the cheapening of information due to overabundace, Descartes, the Matrix, the cynical fabrications of doubt around our elections, the lack of critical thinking in modern society, the necessity of showing your work, skepticism, cynicism, pessimism, nihilism and a whole bunch of isms, theatre capacity as a tool to interpret statistics, the importance of a large data pool, t...
Pain
September 15, 2021 22:00 - 1 hour - 46.6 MBThe fellas go all in on Pain. Ground covered includes Brian’s sweaty visit to the dentist, the anticipation of pain outweighing the pain itself, the insidiousness of small talk, the brain's power to heighten pleasure and pain, the physical empathy and reactions generated by stories of other people’s injuries, a testicle unspooled, pain's power to bring you fully into the moment, the brutality and social ostracization surrounding chronic illnesses and diseases, the inability to bite your own...
Beliefs
September 09, 2021 16:00 - 1 hour - 47.4 MBThe fellas go all in on Beliefs. Ground covered includes Jamal’s reaction to OnlyFans’s short-lived policy changes, GT lies about his reading list, Brian announces he is firmly pro-reality, the Texas abortion law, the human ability to hold contradictory beliefs, the carrot and stick quality of religion and lottery tickets, the role of superstition in daily life, the built in conceit factor of many beliefs, karma, the curious absence of conspiracy theories around unsuccessful assassinations, ...
Embarrassment
August 17, 2021 22:00 - 1 hour - 45.8 MBThe fellas go all in on Embarrassment. Ground covered includes algorithms and Insta reels, the tragic and humiliating botched exit from Afghanistan, the natural human instinct to laugh at the literal missteps of others, the universality of the shart, embarrassment as a symptom of failed image control, the power of laughing when you trip, awkward overheard bar conversations, and that uncomfortable look your pets give you when doing their business. Support the show (https://www.patreon.c...
Popularity
August 11, 2021 23:00 - 1 hour - 46.9 MBThe fellas go all in on Popularity. Ground covered includes the podcast crew’s spotty track record of social media sanctions, Frank “Garbage” Mancuso, Ferris Bueller, the idea that everything is high school, the power of authenticity, the generalization of content in order to reach the broadest audience, crossover stars, Brian’s theory the Rachel haircut of the 90’s birthed the Karen haircut of today, the need for recognition, the periodic table of douchebags, and the popularity and profitab...
100
August 05, 2021 00:00 - 1 hour - 46.2 MBThe fellas go all in on their hundredth episode. Ground covered includes all the ground covered over the past two years. Listen up, listen in! Cheers! Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Intention
July 28, 2021 17:00 - 1 hour - 47.1 MBThe fellas go all in on Intention in a loosey goosey episode that strays all over the place. Ground covered includes Ken’s upcoming art show in Brooklyn, the potential downsides of being a good samaritan, the hollow effect of “I didn’t mean it like that”, Connie Francis’s honor, authenticity being naturally fed by intention, catcalling for dummies, the questionable value (and inherent danger) of hypotheticals, Indecent Proposal, the importance of acting with intention in your daily life, AND...
Obsession
July 21, 2021 19:00 - 1 hour - 47.9 MBThe fellas go all in on Obsession. Ground covered includes the re-platforming of Jamal’s erotic escapism page, the rebranded slang definition of obsessed, Brian’s memorable visit to an American Girl Doll Store, obsession as part of “going through a phase”, remembering what the O in OCD stands for, relationships, small distractions versus fixation, internet rabbit holes, GT’s Lifetime movie-inspired childhood lies, losing your center of gravity to someone else, the surprising normalcy of obse...
Control
July 14, 2021 21:00 - 1 hour - 47.6 MBThe fellas go all in on Control. Ground covered includes the difference between routines and rituals and the benefits of combining them, the illusion of control, assigning blame versus actually addressing problems, the danger of information control, alternate facts, social media algorithms, mini acts of rebellion, the notion that we all turn into our parents, the value of ‘steering into the skid’, the willingness to let someone else take the wheel, the idea that the game slows down when you ...
Loneliness
June 30, 2021 20:00 - 1 hour - 47.9 MBThe fellas go all in on Loneliness. Ground covered includes the dying advantages of mask wearing, the anonymity of a large crowd, ground rules for pimps, the need to invest in socialization for a return, raves, the negative connotation surrounding loneliness, the Ray Liotta cocaine pinky, codependency, the marketing of friendship, social media, dating apps, missed connections and the individual prisms we see the world through. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Time
June 24, 2021 23:00 - 1 hour - 49 MBThe fellas go all in on Time. We're so pressed for it we can't even give you a recap. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Fairness
June 08, 2021 22:00 - 1 hour - 47.4 MBThe fellas go all in on Fairness. Ground covered includes the 'it is what it is' outlook as an acceptance of unfairness, the Propublica IRS data dump, GT looking out for our listeners in Kyrgyzstan, the inability to legislate outcome, Jamal talking revolution, 'The System', hypothetical Cornhole scenarios gone awry, HR1, the Black Forager, and Dan finally admitting his propensity to one day rob banks. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Resilience
June 02, 2021 21:00 - 1 hour - 46.6 MBThe fellas go all in on Resilience. Ground covered includes the reemergence of NYC and beyond, transformation versus continuation, a quick rant on the current labor supply shortage, critical infrastructure hacks, goldfish memories (again), the go along to get along attitude as a form of resilience, and, of course, the Mountbattens. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Diary of a Mad Man - Suppression edition
May 26, 2021 17:00 - 56 minutes - 38.5 MBBrian checks in with some fresh political anger. Weird, right? Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Things We Hate
May 18, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 60.1 MBThe fellas welcome Dan back to the fold and go all in on things we hate. Ground covered includes small talk, passive aggressiveness, hypocrisy, the debate surrounding the return to office life, one way conversations, story topping, selfishness and some helpful NYC tourist advice. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Escapism
May 11, 2021 06:00 - 1 hour - 52.7 MBThe fellas go all in on Escapism. Ground covered includes more Sex and the City talk than one might expect, guilty pleasures, hate-watching, snobbery, Brian’s sobering pandemic realization, the human need to judge others, the value of getting lost in something, ego, charcuterie, Martha Stewart and a multiple alarm fire. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Insecurity
April 27, 2021 18:00 - 1 hour - 56.7 MBThe fellas go all in on Insecurity. Ground covered includes Brian’s recent worries about the podcast, the folly of bringing pictures of models to haircuts, Alcatraz, body insecurities, West Side Story, not giving a shit, how social media enhances everything, projecting insecurities, and yolked calves. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Weed
April 20, 2021 20:00 - 1 hour - 67 MBThe fellas go all in on Weed. Ground covered includes…wait, what? Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Adaptation
April 13, 2021 06:00 - 1 hour - 56.4 MBThe fellas go all in on Adaptation. Ground covered includes Ken’s NFT drop and a basic summary of what an NFT is, its relationship to the cryptocurrency and influencer markets, art vs. opportunism, early adaptors and early resistors, adaptation out of necessity, skipping whole generations of technology, the mercurial concept of the “good ol’ days”, value systems, and Brian’s rapidly deteriorating metaphor game. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Self-Sabotage
April 06, 2021 21:00 - 1 hour - 56.9 MBThe fellas go all in on Self-Sabotage. Ground covered includes a quick recap of last week’s love language discoveries for Jamal, Brian’s need for the occasional pat on his little butt, procrastination as the first child of self-sabotage, GT’s turn on a regional 90’s TV show, Richard Grieco, unanswered prayers, off-off-broadway audience dilemmas, and the readily apparent difference (you’d think) between waffles and jambalaya. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Feelings
March 30, 2021 21:00 - 1 hour - 52.9 MBThe fellas go all in on Feelings. Ground covered includes Brian’s vaccine hangover, medium core porn, Billy Ray Cyrus taking over the neighborhood, feelings vs. emotions, the transitory nature of both, the downside to emotional availability, the 4am philosopher and other cringeworthy memories, and overcoming the desire to be liked by everyone. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Patience
March 23, 2021 17:00 - 1 hour - 61.6 MBThe fellas go all in on Patience. Ground covered includes preferences on the pace of "normal" life resuming, the joy rather than the fear of missing out, double emotions, “stretching is the broccoli of working out”, hamlets vs. hollers, toilet seat or toilet lid down, Brian’s dream-crushing Duolingo attitude and patience as a tool to understand and compromise. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Habits - Simple Syrup edition
March 16, 2021 06:00 - 1 hour - 54.5 MBThe fellas go all in on Habits. Ground covered includes Brian’s breathtaking ignorance of mundane tasks, the value of saying “I don’t know”, the ties between ego and bad habits, the comforts of routine, goldfish memories, the Illuminati, and the upcoming reemergence of full blown social living. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Communication
March 09, 2021 07:00 - 1 hour - 57.3 MBThe fellas go all in on communication. Ground covered includes misunderstandings, the value (and perils) of concise messaging, code switching via platform type, french farces, email tropes, the difficulty of attaining proper tone and Jamal gives out a homework assignment on love languages. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Cancel Culture II - Language edition
March 04, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 65.9 MBThe fellas go all in (again) on Cancel Culture, specifically in regard to language. Ground covered includes the N word, the complications of context, culture wars, self-censorship, decency standards, code switching, and Brian’s goal to bring back the word “fully”. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Loyalty
February 23, 2021 05:00 - 1 hour - 54 MBThe fellows go all in on loyalty. Ground covered includes the Albanian code of “besa”, the notion that maybe we should all go to college much later in life, transactional relationships, the oftentimes shifting codes we live by, brand loyalty, the underrated virtue of laziness and Ken’s potentially homicidal ex-girlfriend. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Manipulation
February 12, 2021 23:00 - 1 hour - 49.6 MBJamal returns to the fold as the fellas go all in on manipulation. Ground covered includes the actual definition of the word (which isn't necessarily as negative as most people think), the power and tools of narrative and storytelling, transactional relationships, GT’s sneaky cousin, and the effect of expectations, especially in regards to self-manipulation. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Competition
February 05, 2021 23:00 - 1 hour - 55.9 MBThe fellas go all in on competition. Ground covered includes jobs, space camp, war, politics, sports, science fiction, technology, haters, stans, Tom Brady, news, entertainment platforms, and snorting Smarties. Ya know, America. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Speculation
January 29, 2021 02:00 - 1 hour - 53.1 MBThe fellas go all in on speculation. Ground covered includes the GameStop frenzy and its exposure of Wall St., the media’s need to be first, the rise of populism, Dan’s book of the week selection, distrusting girlfriends and the real market value of a good Henny Colada. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Grudges
January 23, 2021 00:00 - 1 hour - 52.3 MBThe fellas go all in on grudges. Ground covered includes the ability to forgive and forget, Melrose Place, laziness vs. better angels, "you know what you did", decency, paper routes and GT's mom's reverse bougie-ness. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Diary of a Mad Man - Reckoning edition
January 13, 2021 01:00 - 58 minutes - 39.9 MBBrian lets it fly on the violent insurrection of 1/6/21 and the heavy consequences coming. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Travel
January 06, 2021 03:00 - 1 hour - 52.6 MBThe fellas go all in on travel in a fun, refreshingly light conversation. Ground covered includes the value of travel for the mind, Brian's fledgling Duolingo skills, Dan's predilection for cruises with exes, the extra freedoms of traveling solo, time travel and finally a plug for Kenny’s art. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
2020-That's a Wrap edition
December 30, 2020 00:00 - 1 hour - 54.5 MBThe fellas go all in on a year we will always remember. A most sincere thank you from the bottom of our hearts to our listeners for (hopefully) finding some value in all that crap we talk and talk about. Happy New Year! Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Humility
December 22, 2020 02:00 - 1 hour - 56.3 MBThe fellas go all in on humility. Ground covered includes false versus real modesty, marketing wins vs. trys, GT's near miss at putting the go in Go Diego Go, the business that is America, competition and comparison with others, and how Dan really feels about the podcast crew. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Diary of a Mad Man - Sedition edition
December 16, 2020 23:00 - 48 minutes - 33.3 MBBrian offers up his warmest holiday feelings for Trump supporters with special stocking stuffers straight from Jesus for Qanon enthusiasts. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Destiny
December 09, 2020 04:00 - 1 hour - 55 MBThe fellas dive into the concept of destiny and, as you'd expect, things get weird. Topics covered include manifestation, luck, spirit babies, conspiracy theories, performative religion, aliens, and an entire planet (not Earth) counting on GT's 7th grade hoops skills for survival. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)
Fun
December 02, 2020 01:00 - 1 hour - 51 MBAs we reach the weary end of 2020, the fellas look for the sources of light that keep us all going. Topics covered include rediscovering the joys of childhood, Dan's understanding of daylight savings time, the difference between fun and pleasure, Sick Beat Saturdays, GT's proper vaccination order, the gentrification of the bologna sandwich, and Bumble for Bros. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/barflysbflies)