Anne of Green Gables (1985)

Super fan Keith Fisher commissioned this podcast on Subbable as a Christmas present for his lovely wife, as it is one of her all time favorite movies. I feel like I'm sliding a large lump of coal down her stocking (hey now!) because it was not Jim and I's favorite movie. But still, we gave it the Bald Move treatment! Are you in the mood for a heartwarming story of a megalomaniac orphan spiritually and emotionally enslaved by a shut in old couple, as she seeks death in ever more creative ways while lashing out in rages against old ladies and class clowns? As if this tale weren't already dark enough, how will this sleepy Canadian community deal with the pedophilic school teacher in their midst? Will Matthew's old heart be able to take it?! (Spoiler alert: It will not.) So, Merry Christmas, Keith's wife! Put down the chalk board and climb down from the roof's edge, I'm sure the rest of your presents will be better...