Bad Stories
26 episodes - English - Latest episode: over 4 years ago - ★★★★★ - 15 ratingsA storytelling podcast. Sometimes Danny freestyles in the beginning.
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Episodes
The Joker But With Surfing
February 29, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 46 MBForever alone in a crowd, failed surfer Arthur Fleck seeks to hit the lip as he walks the streets of Manhattan Beach. Arthur wears two sandals -- the one he shreds for his day job as a clown, and the one he lays back in a futile attempt to get barreled like he's part of the ocean around him. Isolated, wet, and wet by society, Fleck begins a slow duck dive into the ocean as he takes a high line into the criminal beach break known as the sand.
His Name Was Pebly
February 01, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 54.1 MB"His Name Was Pebly" His name was Egg (Pebly), He had two leg, The boi he fuck on the reg. He drank a keg, Mom made him beg, He said, "Mom I like to peg." Then Momma Greg, She was so preg, The baby had three leg. Nutmeg. For Your Consideration Oscars 2020 Epic Poetry.
His Name Was Pebbly
February 01, 2020 07:00 - 1 hour - 54.1 MB"His Name Was Pebbly" His name was Egg (Pebbly), He had two leg, The boi he fuck on the reg. He drank a keg, Mom made him beg, He said, "Mom I like to peg." Then Momma Greg, She was so preg, The baby had three leg. Nutmeg. For Your Consideration Oscars 2020 Epic Poetry.
The Amazon Affair
January 19, 2020 03:00 - 1 hour - 53.5 MBA detective takes a cruise. The detective is Peter Dinklage. The cruise is the Titanic. These details are glassed over on this podcast. Do you like murder mysteries? Do you like carnivorous birds? Do you like the Panama Canal? This story involves a meat fight, frisbees, teeth, forbidden love, the other love, the movie Titanic happening in the background, and the question: are all detectives good? Are all Peter Dinklages hot? No. Yes. Fuck you. Music: COLLECTION by trabbey Zulu Screams by Go...
Radioactive Super Rockers
December 21, 2019 05:00 - 1 hour - 51.3 MBClosing time. Time for you to go out, go out into the world. Closing time. Turn the lights up, over every boy and every girl. Closing time. One last call for alcohol, so finish your whiskey or beer. Closing time. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. I know who I want to take me home. I know who I want to take me home. I know who I want to take me home. Take me home. Closing time. Time for you to go back to the places you will be from. Closing time. This room won't be open 't...
The Butler King: A Kung-Fu Opera, music by Prince
December 07, 2019 06:00 - 1 hour - 48.5 MBA butler wants to become king, but the road to glory ain't so easy. First he must overthrow the Duke of Boatville. Then, through musical theatre and highly choreographed feats of martial arts, the bulter and his crew march for the crown. Who is his crew? We'll tell you. The arsonist. The berserker. The brain. The porpoise. And the spear man. That's the crew. This story involves whale attacks, the gallows, thigh-deep water, and a king with many holes. Music: I'm Sorry by I Forget Love Inva...
Behooved
November 23, 2019 06:00 - 1 hour - 48.7 MBFour hooves and a funeral. A jockey needs a date to his long-lost friend's wedding. This friend is a horse. This friend's wife? A horse. Both dudes. Both gay. Both horses. This story involves underground giraffe racing, a tulip farmer, true love, the slender man, Africa, Dirt-tuckey, kicks to the face, old money, and conservative politics. Music: I Don't Know by I Forget Lady Don't Tek by Latyrx
The Bug Daughter
November 09, 2019 06:00 - 1 hour - 47.9 MBA doctor wants to create a new medicine that prevents a person from becoming a bug. He has dedicated his life to finding this cure because, tragically, his wife became a bug and flew into a lighthouse, ending her life. Now our hero is a single father, and his daughter is showing the first signs of becoming a bug herself. This story involves a man named Rhombus, ancient civilizations, TedX, romance, a larvae pit, a toddler's birthday party, medical testing, and BYU. Music: I'm Not Sure by I...
Tick-Tock Town
August 12, 2019 04:00 - 1 hour - 41.8 MBIt's the Roaring Twenties. The subways are still pulled by horses, but a change is in the air. We find our hero running a small watch store, located within the subway system, with his loyal assistant. Our hero's dream is to find enough success making watches that he can take his store above ground. All the while, discontent brews as horse jockeys begin to lose their jobs to electrical subways. An accident gives our hero the ability to travel through time, and he uses the new ability to try a...
Damned If You Do
August 08, 2019 08:00 - 1 hour - 46.8 MBGod is visiting Hell, and Satan has to fix the place up to seem like he has been torturing people. In reality Satan and his friends have just been hanging out. This story involves Ernest Hemingway, useless mummies, several presidents, cavemen, the wax museum, true love and sacrifice, and a presidential-like system for electing God. Music: I Forget by I'm Sorry Dooyo by Dur-Dur Band
Wetland
August 05, 2019 08:00 - 1 hour - 45 MBPortland is in the midst of an intense drought, and the city's weatherman wants to start a water park. This weatherman, who is very sweaty, is so good at his job that he predicts events besides the weather. His intern, another sweaty boy named Sweats Testerson, is our hero's closest confidant. This story involves corrupt political officials, X-Men-like powers, Magic 8 Balls, the name Shmut Bambi, secret pipelines, and fight sequences with lightening. The story is told via documentary reenact...
Mr. Peanut: The Jimmy Carter Story
July 15, 2019 05:00 - 1 hour - 47.6 MBWhen a real estate agent finds a treasure chest full of doubloons and peanuts, he befriends a Somali pirate and is whisked away on an adventure to find Atlantis, the city of gold. This mission is led by former president Jimmy Carter. This story involves gold, riddles, Niagara Falls, an amorphous pile of jelly, ancient civilizations, peanuts, sharks, making out, and lots of screaming. Hrumpf, there it is. Music: Da Feelin by Nightmares On Wax Ocean Man by Ween
Blood Brothers
July 01, 2019 05:00 - 1 hour - 45.4 MBA college freshman falls in love with a sorority girl who is a werewolf, and rushes a fraternity to win her heart. This fraternity is the same that his father joined years ago, a fraternity exclusive to vampires: Beta Alpha Theta. His father is the most famous vampire of all time. But our main character just wants to win his lady's fancy, which violates the fraternity's number one rule: vampires can't fall in love. This story involves skateboarding, a vampire who thinks bats are birds, blood...
Birdman 2: Christmas with the Quems: Moleman, the First Avenger, a Novel
June 24, 2019 02:00 - 1 hour - 49.8 MBIn this, our first novel, an airplane pilot is so talented at flying planes that he himself learns to fly, which is helpful because he wants to become a superhero. Soon, his plans to save earth from alien invaders become complicated by an arch-nemesis: the Mole Man. But who is the real hero? This story includes the FAA, digging at high speeds, the White House, poetic literary descriptions, and terrible newspaper headlines. This is a book. Music: Smoke & Mirrors by RJD2 Dean Town by Vulfpeck
Ticket to Ride
June 17, 2019 06:00 - 1 hour - 45.5 MBA parking meter attendant gives the owner of an illegally parked Ferrari a ticket, but when the owner turns out to be a famous and disgraced race car driver, our hero embarks on an adventure that involves underground drag racing, La Croix energy drinks, bongo noises, the Wallaby Grand Prix, and a symphony of dead orphans. Music: I don't know by I honestly forget Ticket To Ride by The Beatles
The Swedish Diamond
June 03, 2019 06:00 - 1 hour - 31.7 MBA food delivery driver wants to make his delivery, but he is kidnapped en route. Why? Because he's unknowingly delivering the greatest diamond on earth, the Swedish Diamond, to the princess of Sweden. The story that follows involves the Olympics, Vespa racing, an iguana, Rihanna giving a performance against her will, the cast of Cool Runnings, wilderness survival, and blood diamonds. This episode is sixty-nine minutes long. Music: Ghostwriter by RJD2 Back Pocket by Vulfpeck
Cheese Rat Basketball Fight
May 28, 2019 04:00 - 1 hour - 29.9 MBA family of art thieves wants to steal the Mona Lisa, but the world's greatest art collector stands in their way, and his name is Shaquille O'Neal, the last known descendant of Leonardo da Vinci. Eventually, it's revealed that Shaq is a demon with Horcruxes. Shaq captures the parents, and it's up to the kids to save the day with their best dunks. This story involves Coachella, long family lineages, deception, the Louvre, and a bunch of rats. Music: El Pico by Ratatat Assorted music by Shaq
Tongue Nub
May 20, 2019 07:00 - 53 minutes - 24.6 MBA prodigious chef wants to start a restaurant that serves exquisite duck dishes, but a traumatic prank in his youth leaves our hero without a tongue. In order to secure funding for his restaurant while still providing for his family, our main character enters a series of game shows in an attempt to raise money. This story involves a terminally ill Alex Trebek, a main character who is mute, long walks in Central Park, a supportive family, and Chipotle. "Welcome to Jeopardy. I'm Alex Trebek, ...
Bay Blade: Full Frontal
May 06, 2019 09:00 - 1 hour - 30.8 MBA grandmother reads her granddaughter the story of their family's history. The story involves a village of swordsman and fisherman; men who fish with swords. Their village is overtaken, and our hero, a princess, embarks on an adventure to find a weapon with which she can retake her home. This story involves a reverse mermaid, war crimes, pirate burglars, a pelican, familial love, and wall-to-wall male nudity. We're talking full frontal, baby. Music: Daughter by Four Tet Where Is My Mind? by...
The Legume Fallacy
April 30, 2019 07:00 - 1 hour - 38.2 MBA doomsday prepper is diagnosed as terminally ill and realizes that he won't experience the apocalypse, so he takes it upon himself. But when he's tasked with caring for his grandson, our hero is forced to revisit his troubled family past and history as a Special Forces operative. This story involves an outbreak of leg Ebola, Lieutenant Dan, dolphins, a scene from The Shawshank Redemption, and lots of beans. "This story ends with everyone in America having no legs." Recap @ 1:06:50 Music:...
Battle of the Big Feet
April 22, 2019 08:00 - 1 hour - 33.7 MBA park ranger is on a hunt to find Bigfoot, the suspected killer of his father. Our hero finds Bigfoot in Central Park, and in the ensuing battle, the two fall in love. The story that unfolds includes the Statue of Liberty coming to life, John Wick-style action sequences with gangs of Bigfoots, a young Jaden Smith, and a joke about Ben Affleck's feet that truly bombs. It's the Sasquatch way. Music: Only Time by Enya
Sleight of Hand
April 01, 2019 07:00 - 1 hour - 37 MBThis Bollywood film is about a serial killer magician who kills other magicians and takes their hands. In college, our psychopathic hero falls in love with a medical student while they're dissecting the same cadaver. They wed. His career takes off, all the while his taste for magician blood increases. His wife finds out. How will she react? Probably by dancing, because this is a Bollywood film. "Is this your card? Are those your hands?" Story summary @ 1:05 Music: Them Changes by Thunderc...
Second Chans
March 25, 2019 07:00 - 1 hour - 42 MBA critically acclaimed actor wants to do his own stunts, but he's afraid of stairs. To make matters worse, after winning his fourth Oscar in three years, our hero walks in on his wife sleeping with the head stunt man of his next film. Starring Timothée Chalamet and Jackie Chan and no one else, Second Chans tells the story of the greatest stuntman on earth. "You're alive, but your knees are backwards."
Pino Noir
March 17, 2019 07:00 - 1 hour - 49.3 MBA lone detective is thrust into adventure when a classic dame, and the owner of a local winery, asks him to find her runaway daughter. She fails to mention that her husband recently died in a car accident. The detective embarks on an adventure that brings him face-to-face with the mob, wine, and a whole lot of wine. Pino Noir. "I can't read." Music: State Line by The Dip Play With Fire by The Rolling Stones
Bird Farm
March 12, 2019 07:00 - 1 hour - 45.7 MBA Wall Street banker follows his dream of moving to Australia and starting a bird farm, but he must convince the local village, a village with a dark history, that he's there to stay. "Do bird have teeth?" Music: Let Me Alone by moow
The Moon's Big Day
March 03, 2019 08:00 - 1 hour - 47.7 MBThe Moon is tired of his mom and runs away to explore the solar system. Back on earth, human civilization falls to turmoil as the moon leaves Earth's orbit, seemingly for no reason. Music: Tears of Joy by Pool Cosby SAPA by ABUELA