In today’s episode I outline what happens when we don’t truly resolve conflicts. I got in a conflict with my mom and some weirdness goes down before I finally grab my lady balls (ovaries) and tell her how I really feel. Definitely don’t miss the point and judge my mom, if you listen to the whole thing you will see that a lot of it was made up in my head. It’s funny, and ridiculous so prepare to laugh, but I also hope you learn from this comedic story that resolving conflict is actually your friend.

In this episode you will hear:

How holding in your truth negatively impacts you

How resentment leads to cancer according to research

How to teach your parents to be courageous in conflicts with you

How you can be triggered by an unrelated issue if you hold in pain

How we can misinterpret other people’s behavior when we are holding in pain

How the victim/villain paradigm can often just be in your head

When you stomach bad behavior for the sake of harmony you are actually just being inauthentic in that relationship

Coaching Questions & Thoughts:

Where in your life are you enduring bad treatment personally or professionally?

Where in your life can you be more honest about how you really feel?

Where in your life are you avoiding a conflict that you know needs to get resolved?

Think about what you need from the person. Do you need an apology? Do you need them to do something that will make it up to you or rebuild rapport? Your needs are important, so honor them.

Quotes:

“When you address conflict by being passive-aggressive, you aren’t addressing it at all.” Shereen Thor

“When you hold pain in for the sake of harmony, it doesn’t serve you.” Shereen Thor

“An unresolved pain point will rise up in the form of an overreaction to something unrelated.” Shereen Thor

“Misinterpretations are inevitable in communication, so the idea that we can go through life avoiding conflict resolution is unreasonable.” Shereen Thor

“Research has proven that resentment leads to cancer.” Shereen Thor

“When you avoid resolving conflict you avoid honoring your personal boundaries.” Shereen Thor

Resources:
www.awakentherebel.com (download the happiness cheat sheet - learn all the science-based tips I learned at Yale!)