Attention HellMart Shoppers! artwork

Attention HellMart Shoppers!

58 episodes - English - Latest episode: about 1 year ago - ★★★★★ - 302 ratings

Attention HellMart Shoppers! is a twice monthly horror/comedy audio-drama. Join the staff of HelloMart, a big box super-store built on top of the gates of hell, as they battle the forces of evil in order to bring you the best customer service minimum wage can provide.

Comedy Fiction Fiction Science Fiction
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Episodes

Cry Havoc and Let Slip the Dogs of Savings

March 09, 2023 00:15 - 20 minutes - 28.2 MB

Danny's dead! Or is he? Emily has a plan to bring him back while Jimmy and Sherman deal with some explosive pups.   Voice Cast: Thoreau Smiley Moon Smiley Alaric Weber Jordan Cobb Julia Schifini   Support the show and get early access and exclusive content at https://www.patreon.com/harmlessentertainment Follow us on Twitter! Join the conversation in our Facebook Group! https://www.twitter.com/harmlessmedia https://www.facebook.com/groups/504312413670694 Buy som...

There's no Business Like Hell Business

January 14, 2023 21:17 - 21 minutes - 19.6 MB

There's a new employee at Hellmart, and he may just be a match for Danny.

Mini Episode 25: What Covid Go Wrong?

April 28, 2020 04:13 - 2 minutes - 2.27 MB

Danny's trying to be responsible. Unfortunately for him, though, Chet considers him essential. 

Mini Episode 24: Domo Arigato Mr Roboto

April 18, 2020 06:46 - 1 minute - 2.39 MB

Jimmy deals with the robot uprising.

Mini Episode 23: Robot See Robot Do

April 17, 2020 02:32 - 1 minute - 2.51 MB

Carlos and Gunter do an oopsie.

Mini Episode 22: Employee Review

April 16, 2020 01:40 - 3 minutes - 5.04 MB

Emily conducts Chet's Employee Review. It goes swimmingly.

Mini Episode 21: Alpaca

April 15, 2020 01:05 - 2 minutes - 2.75 MB

Gunter and Carlos discuss a plan that couldn't possibly go wrong.

Mini Episode 20: The Last Chet-i

April 14, 2020 01:20 - 3 minutes - 4.49 MB

Danny and Chet discuss a very important and divisive subject.

Mini Episode 19: The Bachelor

April 13, 2020 00:14 - 2 minutes - 3.91 MB

Chet sets Jake up on a date. That's all you need to know.

Mini Episode 18: Birthday!

April 12, 2020 00:49 - 1 minute - 2.6 MB

It's Danny's Birthday! Kinda! This one takes place right after the July 4th Special.

Mini Episode 17: Phone Tag

April 11, 2020 15:22 - 4 minutes - 6.04 MB

Danny and Chet just can't seem to connect.

Mini Episode 16: TV or not TV

April 10, 2020 02:25 - 2 minutes - 3.61 MB

Gunter and Jimmy have a little chat Support the show and get early access and exclusive content at Harmless Entertainment! Follow us on Twitter! Join the conversation in our Facebook Group https://www.patreon.com/harmlessentertainment https://www.twitter.com/harmlessmedia https://www.facebook.com/groups/504312413670694

Mini Episode 15: It's the Pits

April 09, 2020 02:31 - 3 minutes - 4.86 MB

Daniel is showing yet another new employee the ropes! This one you've met before, though. It's Shawn from the Chicken Farm. Is this the newest permanent addition to HelloMart? Only time will tell.

Mini Episode 14: Aggressive Negotiations

April 08, 2020 01:17 - 3 minutes - 4.5 MB

This one features our new Regional Manager Melinda Ashe, played by the one and only Sarah Golding of The Audio Drama Production Podcast and a bazillion other shows. We'll being hearing from her some more on upcoming bonus episodes and lots in season 2. Thanks everyone!

Mini Episode 13: When in Gnome...

April 07, 2020 01:47 - 3 minutes - 5.13 MB

 It's spring in Strickland, and that means the lawn and garden department is getting busy...unfortunately.  This one has a special guest; Danilo Battistini of Contador De Historias!

Mini Episode 12: I Am The EggMan

April 06, 2020 05:07 - 10 minutes - 14.6 MB

It's an Easter Special! Almost timely, eh?

Mini Episode 11: Down in the Basement

April 05, 2020 01:21 - 1 minute - 2.61 MB

What was Gunter up to after the Season 1 finale, when everyone else went to Razzies? Now you'll know!

Mini Episode 10: A Demons Guide to Etiquette

April 04, 2020 02:13 - 3 minutes - 4.93 MB

Here's a glimpse into what Ruth's been up to in Hell. 

Mini Episode 9: The Bigfeet...foots

April 03, 2020 02:11 - 2 minutes - 3.47 MB

This one takes place during Episode 7, Dante's Disco Inferno, and stars Chet and Mr and Mrs Bigfoot. Support the show and get early access and exclusive content at Harmless Entertainment! Follow us on Twitter! Join the conversation in our Facebook Group! https://www.patreon.com/harmlessentertainment https://www.twitter.com/harmlessmedia https://www.facebook.com/groups/504312413670694

Mini Episode 8: Zombie Here Now

April 02, 2020 02:28 - 3 minutes - 4.22 MB

This one takes place during the zombie attack of Dante's Disco Inferno. Sherman saves some customers, but he may have bitten off more than he an chew.

Mini Episode 7: A Jessup Family Holiday

April 01, 2020 01:54 - 4 minutes - 5.54 MB

Meet Chet and Thirsty Jo's dad, and Chet's new boyfriend! It's good, clean, holiday cannibalism! Support the show and get early access and exclusive content at Harmless Entertainment! Follow us on Twitter! Join the conversation in our Facebook Group or on Red https://www.patreon.com/harmlessentertainment https://www.twitter.com/harmlessmedia https://www.facebook.com/groups/504312413670694 https://www.reddit.com/r/harmlessentertainment

Mini Episode 6: Cops & Ravers

March 31, 2020 01:15 - 6 minutes - 8.92 MB

This one comes just before Dante's Disco Inferno Part 1, and it stars Paul Sating of Diary of a Madman and Subject: Found. Dylan and Weasel have a run-in with the local law enforcement. Support the show and get early access and exclusive content at Harmless Entertainment! Follow us on Twitter! Join the conversation in our Facebook Group or on Red https://www.patreon.com/harmlessentertainment https://www.twitter.com/harmlessmedia https://www.facebook.com/groups/504312413670694

Mini Episode 5: Pirates of the Housewares

March 30, 2020 00:42 - 2 minutes - 2.45 MB

This one takes place during Episode 6. Remember Armando Ferrari, Jake the Chicken, and the Pirate Attack? This show may have jumped the shark pretty early on.

Mini Episode 4: Heaven Help Us

March 29, 2020 01:41 - 3 minutes - 5.28 MB

Carlos and Gunter go on a mission in enemy territory. This Episode takes place between Episodes 4 and 5.

Mini Episode 3: The Most Dangerous Game

March 28, 2020 02:58 - 1 minute - 3.28 MB

This one takes place between episodes 3 and 4. Billy Ray and Jimmy get into it.

Mini Episode 2: Teach a Demon to Fish

March 27, 2020 01:01 - 3 minutes - 5.2 MB

Our second Mini Episode for your days off wine and quarantine. It takes place between Episodes 2 and 3 and sheds a bit of light on some major events of the first half of Season 1.

Mummy Dearest

March 26, 2020 04:07 - 5 minutes - 8.5 MB

Its getting tough out there, so I'm releasing all mini episodes of Attention Hellmart Shoppers free to the public. No more paywalls. One per day for the next 24 days. The first one takes place in between episodes 1&2. Stay safe. Wash your hands.Its getting tough out there, but little gestures can help; so I'm releasing all mini episodes of Attention Hellmart Shoppers free to the public. No more paywalls. One per day for the next 24 days. The first one takes place in between episodes 1&2. Sta...

Listen to My New Podcast!

September 08, 2019 22:59 - 39 seconds - 907 KB

Attention HellMart Shoppers! We're now part of The Harmless Entertainment Network, and I'm on a new podcast where we discuss every SuperHero movie ever made! Click the link below and give it a listen! Harmless Phosphorescence   Check out all our new network has to offer at our Patreon!   

Season 2 Teaser

September 03, 2019 02:57 - 1 minute - 1.42 MB

November 18, 2019

BONUS: A HellMart Halloween 2018

October 29, 2018 02:25 - 7 minutes - 10.4 MB

The Pumpkin King has returned! Will he battle Jimmy to the death? Probably not. 

BONUS: I have a New Show!

September 07, 2018 04:20 - 1 minute - 2.61 MB

Thoreau here! I made a new show! It's called 1994 and it's premiering September 17th, 2018, but for now here's the very frist teaser trailer! If you like HellMart I think you'll like 1994. It stars James Oliva, Jordan Cobb, Paul Miscavage, Julia Schifini, Sarah Golding, Graham Rowat and many more! Head on over to htt://1994podcast.com for more info or simply search for "1994" In the podcast app you're currently using to subscribe! Thank you HellMart Shoppers! Spotify iTunes

BONUS: Chet and Danny Blow Stuff Up!

July 12, 2018 14:16 - 23 minutes - 32.8 MB

Independence day is approaching in Strickland and there's trouble in the basement. With special guest star Sarah Golding as Regional Manager Melinda Ashe. Follow us on Twitter @thehellomart Like us on Facebook at HellMart Podcast Go to http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers to get bonus episodes and tons of other great stuff!

BONUS: Scenes From A HellMart: Meat Cute

May 21, 2018 01:47 - 5 minutes - 7.92 MB

Attention HellMart Shoppers! We have a brand new Mini-Episode just for you! This tells the tale of (not so) young love in the meat department of HelloMart. We are also just dollars away from making our first Patreon goal. We briefly slipped past it in November, and so I had to make a Christmas Episode. If we can get above $200 again, by June 11th, I'll produce a full length 4th of July episode! So tell your friends, tell your family, tell the guy that's squatting in your tool shed. You jus...

BONUS: April Announcement

April 10, 2018 02:13 - 1 minute - 1.99 MB

Attention HellMart Shoppers!   Hi everyone, Thoreau here. This is just a quick post to let you all know about two new things we've got going on in the HelloMart this month. First, we have an Easter Episode available for you to listen to. It’s a patreon exclusive, but you can hear it now for free! Just go to http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers or follow the link in the show notes. It's currently available for all to hear for free, but only in our patreon!   And secondly, we n...

There's No Place Like Hell

March 05, 2018 13:44 - 44 minutes - 61.3 MB

SEASON 1 FINALE! It's the big showdown at the Hell Gates! Chet makes a choice, Jake has something to crow about and Daniel says stuff that makes people upset. Don't skip out early, the after credits teaser has a very special guest star, and a taste of what season 2 has in store with the one and only Sarah Golding of The Audio Drama Production Podcast and other innumerable productions. Follow us on Twitter Like us on Facebook Visit our Website Attention HellMart Shoppers! is part of...

Everybody's Got Something To Hide Except For Me And My TV

February 19, 2018 15:45 - 22 minutes - 30.3 MB

After the big heist the gang is on the run. Chet reaches out to an old adversary, and Merle gets to go for a ride. This is the penultimate episode of season one. With guest star Paul Sating as Sherrif McCoy. Attention HellMart Shoppers! is Patron Supported. Follow us on twitter, like us on facebook or leave us a review on itunes.

Jimmy's Eleven

February 05, 2018 14:10 - 30 minutes - 42.3 MB

Jimmy and his crew stage a heist. Chet also does a thing...kind of. This Episode features Jake Song as Security Guy 1, Laura Bramblette as Security Guy 2, and Jesse Hall as Security Guy 3.  Help support the show on Patreon   Attention HellMart Shoppers! is part of the fatecrafters network.

Working Stiffs

January 22, 2018 07:14 - 28 minutes - 39.5 MB

Chet interviews some prospective employees and Daniel and Emily pay a visit to Billy Ray, the Leprechaun.  Attention HellMart Shoppers! is listener supported. Go to OUR PATREON to pledge your support. For just $1 a month you can help us stay in business. For $5 and up you get BONUS CONTENT! This episode featured special guest star Paul Sating as Jeff.  Attention HellMart Shoppers is a part of the fatecrafters network. Check out other fatecrafters shows like Lake Clarity.

Chet and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

January 08, 2018 13:43 - 31 minutes - 43.5 MB

Chet deals with customers, employees, family, and his own shortcomings as manager.  Please support us on PATREON! Go to http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers to get bonus episodes, early access to new episodes, Stickers, Wallpapers, Music and more! Follow us on social media! facebook.com/attentionhellmartshoppers twitter.com/thehellomart instagram.com/attentionhellmartshoppers    

A Cold Christmas In Hell

December 18, 2017 17:13 - 21 minutes - 30.2 MB

It's Christmas Eve and Emily arrives in town with no money, no job and a terrible apartment. Will a christmas miracle solve all her problems? Maybe she'll be visited by jolly old St. Nick! It's another holiday flashback episode and this one has special guests! Rob and Slim from The Rob and Slim Show are here as KHEL Drivetime DJs. You can find them at http://robandslim.podbean.com. Robert Chauncey, creator of The Tunnels Podcast, http://thetunnelspodcast.wixsite.com guest voices Mikey. Att...

Holiday Schedule Announcement

November 27, 2017 01:54 - 52 seconds - 1.2 MB

Attention HellMart Shoppers! Thoreau here! This is just a quick update on our schedule for the holidays and the remainder of season 1. Our Christmas special is coming Monday, December 18th, and will be the only episode released in December, and our last episode of 2017. That does not include patreon bonus mini episodes. Or patrons will continue to get bonus Episodes through December! As for regular episodes, our next release, Episode 12, is coming January 8th, and we will then resume our nor...

Chicken Little Big Man

November 20, 2017 13:43 - 25 minutes - 35 MB

Daniel uncovers a nefarious scheme at the chicken farm, but is it too late for him to escape? We are entirely listener supported. Help support us and get great bonus content at http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers follow us on twitter @thehellomart like us on facebook at http://facebook.com/attentionhellmartshoppers

All The Unborn Chicken Voices In My Head

November 06, 2017 12:37 - 26 minutes - 37.5 MB

Daniel struggles to make friends at his new job. Plus more chickens. We are listener supported! visit our patreon for tons of great bonus content! http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers follow us on twitter @thehellomart like us on facebook at facebook.com/attentionhellmartshoppers

Chet's (Mini) Halloween Spooktacular! 3

October 30, 2017 12:44 - 4 minutes - 6.83 MB

Chet must face the Pumpkin Kng one last time...alone! Visit our patreon to see all the great bonus content available to you now! https://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers.com Follow us on twitter @thehellomart Like us on facebook at facebook.com/attentionhellmartshoppers

Jimmy and Chets (Mini) Halloween Spooktacular 2

October 23, 2017 11:59 - 5 minutes - 8.46 MB

Guess who's back! Jimmy and Chet face the Pumpkin King again. Will it be a grim battle to the death? Probably not. Go to our Patreon to get extra episodes and tons of great perks and merchandise! http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers Follow us on twitter @thehellomart Like us on http://facebook.com/attentionhellmartshoppers

Jimmy and Chet's Halloween Spooktacular!

October 16, 2017 12:39 - 12 minutes - 17.1 MB

It's 2005 and Halloween brings a visitor and a new employee. With special guest star Rhiannon McAfee! We are Listener supported! Visit http://patreon.com/attentionhellmartshoppers You too can get bonus episodes, early acces to new episodes and so much more! Attention HellMart Shoppers is part of the Fatecrafters Network. Visit http://fatecrafters.net for more info. If you like our show, check out Lake Clarity.  

Big News!

October 09, 2017 10:00 - 2 minutes - 4.75 MB

 Big News, Everyone! We are launching our PATREON!    I love making this show. It's a true passion of mine, and I'd like to make as much of it as I can! That's where you come in! What do you get out of becoming a Patron? BONUS EPISODES Would you like AHS!  MERCHANDISE, including T-Shirts, Stickers, Posters and Mugs MUSIC from the Show HD Wallpapers Scripts of every Episode MUCH MUCH MORE! Plus we have goals! Would you like a full series spin-off of the show? Would you like to...

Mommy's Little Monster

October 02, 2017 12:51 - 34 minutes - 48.4 MB

The gang is interviewed about the goings on at the store. Jimmy has a choice to make and Emily prepares for the joys of motherhood. Stay tuned, our PATREON launches in ONE WEEK! Keep up to date by following us on twitter @thehellomart Like us on http://facebook.com/attentionhellmartshoppers. Attention HellMart Shoppers! is part of the Fatecrafters Network, as is Atheist Apocalypse. You can find Atheist Apocalypse at http://atheistapocalypse.com or wherever you listen to podcasts. ind ...

Dante's Disco Inferno - Part II

September 18, 2017 12:42 - 26 minutes - 37.7 MB

Zombie Dance Party! Like us on Facebook! Follow us on twitter! Go to http://attentionhellmartshoppers.com. Attention Hellmart Shoppers! is a part of the Fatecrafters Network. We reccomend other high quality and entertaining Fatecrafters shows such as The Tunnels! 

Dante's Disco Inferno - Part I

September 04, 2017 13:26 - 25 minutes - 36.6 MB

It's Sample Day! The store is extra busy, Emily deals with a delicate situation and it's a party in electronics! Please leave us an itunes review! Like us on Facebook! Follow us on Twitter! Visit our website at attentionhellmartshoppers.com. Attention HellMart Shoppers! is a proud member of the Fatecrafters Podcast Network.

Twitter Mentions

@harmlessmedia 5 Episodes
@thehellomart 4 Episodes