Asleep And Places Like It

Episode #14 Aunt Panorama's Ant-O-Rama

August 14, 2018 00:00 - 13 minutes - 26.5 MB

Narrator: And so it happened, several days later, that Aunt Panorama took a seat across from two worldly-looking gentlemen. Worldly Gentleman: Yeah, this "ant circus" idea of yours sounds . . .yes, interesting. But, when can we expect to see this . . .heh, heh . . . Ant-O-Rama? Aunt Panorama: No time like the present, eh, gentlemen? Narrator: She whistled sharply. Immediately, there was a buzzing, sizzling sound that seemed to come from under the baseboards and, without fu...

Episode #13 Nutman, Insane Super Hero! & Dr. Nice Gives Nutman Some Advice

April 08, 2018 06:09 - 14 minutes - 28.5 MB

"And no matter what happens, it won't hurt at all! (Dr. Philip Nice, psychiatrist) Nutman! Insane Super Hero! Of all the incredible chracters in the history of twentieth century crime fighting, of all the distinctive personalities that have come and gone since Superman . . . none was stranger, none's story weirder, non could have been more uniquely bizarre than one man. And now. . . Broilings All-Aluminum Foil Breakfast Flakes proudly presents ...

Episode #12 Morning Broke In, Danger Is My Breakfast, Brainco's Electrobrain Headband (by J. Szostek)

January 24, 2018 01:30 - 13 minutes - 25.8 MB

“But listen up oh Vegetation! We are all the same tissue, we are the same moisture, the same peelings! Listen and assimilate, Mulchy Stuff! Hear us Old Roots and give us a strong current! Think of the sweet and pleasant gases we have given this wretch, who comes today to shear off our heads! Who seals up our pores and shellacs us over with his own foul gases - grotesque, oily structures . . . gases filled with choking lumps of wax that make the broad leaves wither and turn gray and...

Episode #11 Electric Edward

January 24, 2018 00:41 - 15 minutes - 20.7 MB

Hurry, hurry hurry! Step right up,step right up! Who'll be next? Only costs a nickle! So hurry, hurry, hurry! He's unbelievable! He's amazing! He's elec-trifying! He's Electric Edward! Here he is, folks . . . your opportunity to experience, first hand, the wonder of the new Age of Electricity! Yes! That ethereal fluid that flows through the earth like a great dragon! Step right up, folks, and grasp the lightning from the sky . . . if you dare try! Feel that primeval power for your...

Episode #10 The Gargoyle's Day Off

September 19, 2017 20:26 - 14 minutes - 28.3 MB

(SFX wind rising and falling for several seconds - a rainstorm begins) Narrator (begins slowly in a soft, deep voice): Far above a dark river, at the top of a towering cathedral wall, sits a stone sculpture of something. It might be a winged ape resting its chin in its hands. The gears of the sun run the course of the seasons over and over; rain and hard weather come and go. Year after year the ape’s expression softens. (SFX Rainstorm fades slowly during following lines) ...

Episode #9 The Bumps Of The Goose ~ Believe It Or Don't Believe It!

September 18, 2017 00:38 - 13 minutes - 26.3 MB

I had never seen Holmes like this! We had been called in to investigate the disappearance of the great Frothingbroth Collection of jewels from the safe in Lady Frothingbroth's boudoir. We had already made several startling and bizarre discoveries when, suddenly, we heard Sir AnthonyFrothingbroth's desperate cry for help from behind the locked door to his study. Again and again we hurled ourselves against the massive oak door, vainly trying to burst the lock, until Holmes's sharp e...

Episode #8 Hob Nobbin' With Bob Goblin

September 18, 2017 00:25 - 10 minutes - 14.6 MB

Host: Bob . . . you live and work right here in Chicagoland, don't you? Bob: Yes, Dick, that's right, as you well know . . . I'm an ornamental gargoyle for an exclusive office building. Host: Wow! That sounds like a pretty challenging job! You'd have to hold still for long periods of time, wouldn't you? Bob: I do, yeah. I'm on the fourth floor, but that's never been a problem with me, holding still. I got a cousin who's on the thirty-ninth floor of a building down town. He get...

Episode #7 Candida Invasion ~ The Ghost Of Abbie Hoffman

September 18, 2017 00:12 - 14 minutes - 28.3 MB

Bob Kartoffelkopf: Hi! We're back! With another heaping helping of everybody's favorite AM viewing habit . . . 'Morning Overload' This morning we're going to take a few more shots at that age-old question has earth been invaded from outer space? Well, let's just take a look at the facts . . . Yes, it has! And we are very pleased to have with us here today, in a microscope, magnified hundreds of times . . here he is . . . the diplomatic spearhead of an enormous invading...

Episode # 6 Dream Management ~ Gourmet Shortcuts

September 18, 2017 00:01 - 20 minutes - 23.1 MB

Host: Tell us a bit about the course in Dream Management you took last year. It seems to have made a big difference in your life. Mr. Zeeze: Yes, indeed! Though they don't call it Dream Management. It's "Lucid Dreaming." And that's pretty much just what it is. You know that you're dreaming while you dream and you eventually learn how to control everything that happens to you in the dream. Host: You learned how to control what happens to you in your dreams? Mr. Zeeze:Yeah! And the...

Episode # 5 The Rollers ~ Mean Tooth Fairy

September 17, 2017 23:29 - 13 minutes - 24.9 MB

I was a witness to one of these raids. It took place on a Sunday afternoon; I was tipped off and sat waiting in my car. The operation began very suddenly, abruptly, out in the parking lot of the mall. An eighteen wheeler entered the lot, but instead of slowing down as it approaches the core building, it accelerated and skidded sideways, slamming to a stop in front of the main entrance to the mall. But before it had come to a complete stop, just as it was beginning to slow down,...

Episode #4 Uncle Padlock & The Hot Air Duck

September 17, 2017 23:09 - 17 minutes - 32 MB

(DUCK IS TRYING TO BE REASONABLE) Well, it's none of my business, of course, and its's really only my opinion ... but . . . it seems a shame for you humans to mess up your environment like this! (PADLOCK RANTS AND RAVES) AHA!! My environment! I KNEW you were going to get around to "my environment!" Well, I'm sick and tired of hearing about my environment, see! I'm not gonna be intimidated! You wanna tell me about how fast all the countries of the world are filling up with people? ...

Episode #3 Blown Away

September 17, 2017 22:52 - 13 minutes - 25.8 MB

Narrator: This is the terrible story of a tornado chaser show. Or rather, two tornado chaser shows. The earlier of the two shows, the original, was an old style tornado chaser show on the Science Channel. It had actual humans, Steve and Eddie, in the front seat of the chaser car so there was a special appeal because of the possible danger. But you knew no one was really going to get hurt. Still, it was great to see and hear those big storms. One day, another channel, the Tec...

Episode #2 Neb's Cave

September 08, 2017 23:29 - 14 minutes - 10.2 MB

NEB'S CAVE 22 mins Once upon a time, a long, long time ago . . . before people began to unwrap their food, or even to write everything down properly ... there lived a mighty king named Nebuchadnezzar and everyone in his kingdom thought he was one heck of a king and a fine fellow, too! He did everything a king was supposed to do, and he did it with style. He had a big golden throne that he sat around on all day. He watched parades from his balcony ... he had people's heads chop...

Episode #1 Walter Under The Bridge

September 08, 2017 22:03 - 14 minutes - 28.2 MB

When Mr. Unsoveiter walks to work, he crosses the river at about ten minutes to six. One predawn early morning on a brightening spring day, he paused in the middle of the bridge and leaned his forearms on the railing. He stood there for a minute and looked down at the mist layering the river. There was sound rising from below, the gurgling splashing channels through broken concrete and other debris. He leaned over the rail and peered down into the dark moving water. As the sun be...

Asleep And Places Like It

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