Previous Episode: 36. Feelings
Next Episode: 38. What if?

It’s just that the things you’re telling yourself about everything that has happened in the past, well that’s the root of all problems, ya see. 

You keep telling the same stories…

You keep thinking about the pain, and you keep tryin’ to get to the root, but you’re not seeing all the scenes. 

You’re only seeing what’s in front of you. 

You’re not seeing what’s above you.

You’re only seeing the pain and you’re angry and frustrated about everything that you think “caused” it…

You’re angry at everyone that let you down, and you keep those stories going because they validate why you fell.

But what you don’t wanna talk about is how angry you are with me for letting those stories even happen in the first place.

And you’re angry at me for keeping them going…

And lettin’ them get bigger…

And lettin’ them manifest as cancer.

And letting cancer take everything away.

And you’re angry that you have to start over in every-fuckin-way. 

And you’re angry about the mastectomy and you’re mad at me for letting it happen…

And you’re angry you have an implant, and you hate it.

And you hate how it looks and how it feels, and you hate that you have so much pain 24/7.

But maybe the pain isn’t because of all the reasons you think it is Sarah. 

Maybe the pain is simply because you haven’t forgiven yourself for becoming someone you didn’t really love enough to fight for?

But don’t worry friend, it’s never too late to change the story, and you know me...

I’m open to letting you love me, in spite of what I did.

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