Higher Self

Maybe nothing is really real and this is my illusion?Maybe I'm not even real…like I thought I was.Maybe I’m making my self up. Maybe I’m the one in control of my outcomes…If that’s the case, then What-tha-fuck Sarah?Why do I keep trying to sabotage myself?Why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again, if I know how they pane out?Why do I keep trying to turn pro, when I really never go...Why do I always walk away from love every time she shows up?Why, why, why, why, do I let my fear of time stop me from being in love?Maybe I really am bat shit crazy for thinking that maybe I could change who I was. Who I am. Maybe you really don’t want to change at all, bro?Maybe you like the self-sabotage. Maybe you like the pain, and your quest to change is all because you feel like you should, so you don’t look like a Goddamn waste like you’ve always been...Constantly picking the path of the most resistance, just so I never amount to anything. So maybe who I’m being is still who you’ve been, and that’s why I feel like I’m never getting ahead. If that’s the case then maybe I just need to change the version of myself that is making me up?Maybe I need to let my Higher Self take over for once...I bet she’d do a better job of being who I really am.She’s much more interested in seeing me succeed than you’ve ever been. That’s all I want.Is to be successful at being mySelf.I just think she’s really amazing in so many ways, and I’ve spent my whole life trying to become her, but obviously it hasn’t been working out. But now, maybe things will shift. Now that I see how you and me are all just part of the experiment….Nothing is really real unless we think it is, so I’m just gonna see what happens if I think I have wings…If I think I am as glorious as she thinks I am, maybe then I can stop being who I’ve been, and become who I really am. What do you think my silent friend?Are we seriously back to this back and forth shit again, or is this an entirely new conversation?It’s hard to sayI guess we’ll see what happens in the next few days. LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath