half dead

Hello...Is anyone there?I don’t think anyone is there?Who cares...Just say what you gotta say.It don't matter anyway...Ok...Well, I just wanted to say...For the record, that there is definitely a part of me that is dead, and I didn’t kill her, someone else did.And that might be the reason I killed other pieces of myself, as a way to cope with who I’d become, as a way to protect myself. And now I'm starting to think, that’s probably why I don’t feel very well.I’m missing very important pieces of myself.The pieces that make me happy.The pieces that make me feel strong and secure and confident in my body.The pieces that make me feel secure with money...And the pieces of me that love to love and that love to have fun.The pieces of me that know how to play and laugh, and sing, and dance like we’re kids.And the pieces of me that doesn’t worry about time because she’s always high on life. These are the pieces I need in order to be an awesome human being, and I don’t know if I’ll ever find her again because I don’t know how to reconnect with the dead.If I did, I’d call myself a medium and then I’d talk to my dead self and ask her how to be MySelf.And then I’d tell myself, and maybe then I’d feel more powerful in MySelf. And then I’d tell myself, and maybe then I’d feel more powerful in MySelf. So I guess I just wanna know...Who killed myself?Sarah Long. The version of myself I so desperately wanna be...Where is she?Where did she go when she left me?Where was I when it happened?Why don’t I know what happened?Why don’t I know where I am right now?Maybe I’m the one that’s really dead?I dunno...But it sure feels like I’m trapped between worlds. Half dead, half alive...Is this what happens when we die by suicide?As a way to protect myself from the abuse my Monster always put me through?Who knows.But what I do know is, life is a slippery slope, isn't it?A roller coaster ride of highs and lows, and we all know how easy it is to lose YourSelf if you don't get off the ride once and awhile. If you don’t stop and get still and listen to your higher Self.You will lose control. Trust me I know. That’s why I got off the ride when cancer tried to take me out.Which does make me wonder if maybe getting off the ride feels like I died because it’s like a whole new life on the other side?So maybe I’m in the afterlife?As you can see, so many questions I have no answers to, and quite frankly, I find myself very confusing to listen to.Which is why it’s nice to talk to you...And I want you to know, I will find out the truth when I get to the roots of who killed Sarah Long. That’s what the investigation is all about. I’m out. SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLong artistsarahlong.com artistsarahlongstore.com  EMAIL // [email protected]