80. lies

It’s not the truth that hurts so much, it’s the lies we tell ourself.

It’s when we choose to see things for how we want them to be as oppose to how they really are.

It’s when we say we’re in love, but we really just don’t want to be alone.

It’s when we say we feel good, when we really don’t.

It’s when we say we love the job we're in, but we really just wanna make art. 

It’s those lies that breed other lies, and the next thing ya know you're just one big lie.

And deep down inside, underneath all those lies is the truth about what you really want.

Who you really are...

And the reason you lie is because it’s too hard to take down the lies you’ve been living around.

Cuz, it's not like you're gonna leave your shitty relationship and be alone. Then you risk never finding someone...

And how could you ever survive life without being with someone.
You my as well kill your self. 

Cuz like, being alone is like the worst thing in the world.

And not like you’re gonna take care of yourself..

Not like you’re gonna start investing in your health in ways you need to feel whole. 

No...no.

Not like self love is something you’re gonna have time for. 

After all, you do have a full time job. 

And you have things to do besides that, like meetings to attend too, and you have friends and family that need you. 

I get it. 

So...

It’s easier to put all that first cuz it matters most. 

Not you. 

You...only feel loved if you have all these lies that make you feel like someone.

But a weak foundation will only support you for so long....

Sooner or later the lies will come crashing down and it’s probably gonna hurt more than it does when you’re playing Jenga and you put that one piece on top and you know you shouldn’t, and it just collapses and you thought you were doing so good....

You just you thought you were doing so good. 

And then just one innocent, small piece, ruins everything. 

And if all the pieces are lies, it only makes sense right.

Trust that. And so it is. 

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