34. The Voice

Fear…

The separate self.

The voice that tells you lies about who you are and what you’re capable of.

The voice that wants to keep you stuck in the past so you can never be free to believe in your dreams.

The voice that repeats all stories that left you in defeat.

The voice that makes you think you’re not good enough to love yourself unconditionally

The voice that reminds you about all the times you tried and failed to win. The voice that makes you afraid to win.

The voice that pushes you to do things that you don’t really wanna do but you think you need too because it’s been imprinted in you since you were like two.

The voice that makes you run when things get hard and the voice that makes you feel guilty when you do something you shouldn’t have, but you wanted too…

The voice that creates rules and ways of thinking that keep you stuck in flawed ways of thinking.

The voice that makes you feel responsible for everyone’s feelings and the voice that makes you hurt yourself every time you let yourself down.

The voice that wants you to believe all the reasons you shouldn’t try to rise above, where you’re at now…because the voice wants you to think you’re not ready for something better than where you’re at now. 

The voice that makes you self sabotage with bad food choices and drugs and booze and random sex with strangers, and shopping sprees for things you don’t really need.

And the voice that makes you fill voids with people you don’t really love but the voice makes you love not feeling loved.

And thus, you can’t ever really be in love when fear is in your way.

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