2 Player Cupboard of Shame: JonnyG

First of all, we'd like to thank the amazing yurricanes for working with us to create the featured image for this episode. I think you'll agree that it's an amazing piece of art, and you should definitely check out their work.

We'd also like to thank Georgie (aka ChapSketch) for working with Squidge on the episode artwork for the entire New Cupboard of Shame series. Head on over to Georgie's Etsy page to commission some work from her. You really should, as she's blooming brilliant.

Remember that you can always get in touch with us on our Facebook page, on Twitter, or with our Contact page. Don't forget to check the chapters tab in your podcatcher. This is a thing we're doing now, so keep an eye open for those.

Here's a sample of the full show notes - make sure to click through and check them out.

Content Warning

Squidge was fully in charge of hosting, producing and editing this episode. As such, he decided to leave the few swears in the episode without bleeping them. This was done for comedy reasons, as we felt that there is very little in the episode which could offend most listeners.

Please listen responsibly.

Show Notes

Squidge wanted to take a shiny new look at The Cupboard of Shame. The difference being that he wanted to invite some familiar voices onto the show, one at a time, and discuss one game that they want to jettison into the Cupboard of Shame. This being the fifth episode in the new series, he invited Andrew "Podcast Collector" Dickinson to dispatch something into the devious - and totally real cupboard - cupboard.

As a quick reminder, Squidge describes The Cupboard of Shame as:

The idea behind it is games that you have bought in your past, played it, but you don't know why you bought [them] but you did anyway.
Any complaints that you have about the game; why you want to stick it in the Cupboard of Shame. We'll talk about the good points and the bad points [of the game], and we'll share some fun facts about the game.
- Squidge

Previous Entries into the Cupboard of Shame

The Cupboard of Shame reboot has only seen two entries so far:

Chief Problems decided that The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim needed to be stored behind the walnut doors of destiny in episode 136Lulu wanted to jettison Chaos Legion to the nether realms of the electronically challenged cupboard in episode 138Sean wanted to yeet Risk of Rain 2 into the underbelly of the cupboard in episode 139Ginger wished to send Final Fantasy X-2 into the depths of cheap MDF that is the cupboard in episode 140AndrewD was on the fence about Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days and whether it should have been in the Cupboard of Shame, in episode 141

Prior to the Cupboard of Shame reboot, Squidge had challenged both G and himself to put some titles into the Cupboard of Shame. The titles that they chose include:

Iron Man the Movie Video GameWETRambo: The Video GameCrackdownFinal Fantasy XIII

You can hear their discussion on these games (and a few more) in episode 47: The Cupboard of Shame - here's a link to that episode. All of the "classic" Cupboard of Shame episodes - aka before Squidge's 2022 sexy reboot - can be found here.

JonnyG's Chosen Game

And Squidge got directly into the topic of discussion: which game would you like to put into the Cupboard of Shame:

The game that I would like to put into the Cupboard of Shame is called "Deadly Premonition", alternately "Deadly Premonition Director's Cut", or more recently "Deadly Premonition: Origins"
- JonnyG

Even though JonnyG already owned Deadly Premonition, he was suckered into buying one of the other two releases of it. This happening to JonnyG is such a regular occurrence that his friends call it "pulling a Jonny."

And before long, the first tangent of the episode was in play:

Before we actually owned a Playstation, we went and rented one from the game shop down the street.
We rented the Playstation, we rented Final Fantasy VII. We did not know that you had to provide your own memory card.
I played Final Fantasy VII for two and half days without turning the machine off, and I got to a point where you were only allowed to put one fighter in, and forgot to give him cure magic.
And it was all gone.
- JonnyG

We all need to take a moment to press F on our keyboards and pay our respects to young JonnyG.

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What's So Bad About it?

Any discussion of a bad game needs to cover what’s so bad about the game. So Squidge asked, “what’s so bad about this game?” before visibly recoiling. Whilst there's a lot to say about this game, JonnyG covers the majority of his problems with it in six very short sentences:

It's bafflingly difficult to play. Not like it's hard or the challenges are strange. But it's like, the moment to moment interactions are incredibly clunky. Like, you run extremely slowly.
It has a lot of square-footage and not a lot of things to do. So if you're at the Diner, and you have to the police station, that's in-game miles away; and the car they give you only goes 45 miles an hour.
- JonnyG

The main character takes warnings about the case he's working on from his morning c...